Off Path with the Career Path

[spooky]

with a semester left until i graduate, i thought i would have figured out by now what direction i'd be taking next in my career path. i'm okay with the uncertainty, but i'd like to be atleast taking some steps towards a better future.

I'm currently wrapping up my first internship, and it's came up far short of my expecations. I can't judge the entire corporate world just because of this very lousy experience, but it has definitely made me reconsider if the corporate route is right for me. It's hard to be your best self in an atmopshere that radiates as much energy as a retirement home. I don't like the thought of wallowing in the sadness, but sometimes it's appropriate. I'm in a new city right now, away from my girl and close friends, and adjusting to the 40 hour work week where you really can't get anything done outside of work (welcome to the real world). I've definitely been thrown a curveball, but I believe there is a lot of growth I can obtain from this experience too.

I see myself being more on the creative side of things, where my job involves getting outside and being engaged in a fast-paced environment (not too fast, but definitely not slow) with a great boss and great colleagues. that brings up another question now: i've never had any close relations with my teachers or bosses. i don't like having to supress my self around higher authority, but i've made it a habit over the years. i'm a very outgoing person with my close friends, but put me in a classroom or work environment, and i'm hiding under the desk. i'd like to figure out why i'm like this, and take the steps to get around it.

I'm in a serious relationship now, and my lover has her head on straight much more than i do in the career department. I'm extremely happy for her success, but I don't want to be living under her and I want to be living my life with purpose. One of my biggest passions is music, and I could see myself doing something with my degree in retailing with that (concert promoter, itunes, rolling stone, insert your idea here) or getting involved with a philanthropic cause like TOMS Shoes (i applied for their internship, but didn't get it. i'll be applying again this year though).

However, I hate to say it, money is important to me too. Not for materialistic reasons as much, more for experiences. I want to travel, things like that. Since the only internships that come through my university are corporate ones I absolutely loathe, it's always a very limited choice. I'm glad I'm atleast getting my foot in the door, but I'd like to feel good about something than showing up everyday to work in chains.

There has to be millions of other people out there that aren't happy with their jobs. How do you guys get through it? I just lose motivation knowing I'm settling for something that adds no value or meaning to my life.