-----My journey to achieving a better life----- More inside!

[MC Kejml]

Hey.

Let me introduce myself first. My name is Kamil B, I am 19 years old and I come from Czech Republic, Europe.

I guess that one day, every person living a non-functional or a staggering life comes to the conclusion that it is time to shift gears, to perform a cleanup, to throw all the garbage out and bring in some useful, beautiful new furniture .

After some decision making, that's what I decided to do today. Yesterday I've been on a page dedicated to Morty Lefkoe and he said in a message that if we conquer one of our bad beliefs, it might not help at all, since there are other beliefs or conditions that are keeping us down.

So, I finally decided to carefully look on my life and eliminate all negative influences I've been holding onto, even those I didn't noticed before, thinking they were only a small nuisance.
But as they say, a hundred times nothing killed the donkey.

I believe I am on the right track. With a year or so of personal development behind and with a healthy personality to start with, I am ready to take the challenge! I'm doing it also since I am still a young man and would like to achieve some results while I'm still young!

I'd like to announce it here, on a forum full of like-minded people and I'd also appreciate your support. A lot. I will post the challenges I'm facing and if you decide to post some advice, opinions or tips, it'll be much appreciated! I'll definitely keep you informed how it goes!

Make a change you want to see in the world...

[MC Kejml]

Summing up the challenges...

1. People that do not bring any value into our relationship. People from the past, that are being only an emotional burden or ones that drag me down.

2. Raising self-esteem. For example, being an enterpreneur that offers services (albeit very good), I'm afraid of talking to my friends (that could use it or someone they know would) about it! Wow!

3. Relationship renewal. I feel that my ship has sunk in relation to the other gender, because of the past. And there is no way I am going to let it that way.

4. Healthy diet. What amount of alcohol is still healthy, same with smoking or having a joint. Now I know this one might seem funny at first, but compare an average smoker with someone that has a cigarette about once a month.

5. How to live with my negative parents in one room to the good of all involved. I think that explains a lot by itself.

6. What is the best way? I sometimes feel I'm using too much LOA techniques, like affirmation, visualisation... sometimes it's a mess!

I'll be addressing and concentrating on one issue at a time and I'm already excited about how it will turn out!

[MC Kejml]

Issue 1:

1. People that do not bring any value into our relationship. People from the past, that are being only an emotional burden or ones that drag me down.

From the top of my head, I can think of two people on my facebook page. One of them is a failed employee of the company I work in, always telling me it is a bad company. There are objective results that the company is one of the best in our country and in Europe. Still, I get a bit nervous whenever I post something about our company, that he'd reply. He had been a good friend to me for a long time, but in the last years, our relationship dwindled. He made his comeback when I mentioned the company for the first time. I am hesitating to delete him from my facebook in case he'd find out. But even if he had done it, so what?

Another person is a schoolmate that posts controversial things a lot of the time. For example in the Hockey Championship 2010, when there were Czech - Russia finals and everybody cheered for the Czech team, only he cheered for Russia, just to get attention.
Whenever an opportunity arises, he doesn't think twice about posting something discouraging. Same thing works for me.
I don't want to delete him, since we went out for nights in the past. Still, I'm not sure he is a friend I'd need to have or whether he's just a remainder of the past.

Another person is a girl my age that I had wonderful times with. It seemed as if she spoke like the emotional side of me. However, since her boyfriend (who left her before ) came back, she doesn't communicate with me that often anymore. Then suddenly she comes back, all happy, and talks about a meeting or that we'll spend a week in my cottage on the countryside.
I keep telling myself I should forget about her, but I'm just too much of a... that I can't delete her sms messages or her itself on my IM and facebook. She is both a memory on high school and someone with whom I had an experience I never had before.

I guess that I'll have to delete the first two people from my FB and the girl.. I have actually no idea. I'll see what I can come up with.

[MC Kejml]

Update...

I deleted the failed employee from facebook and IM. I doubt his brother will speak to me about it, since they are both very different people.
I still hesitate to delete the second one and noticed his profile text "I'm not the jackass as I seem to be... life is meant to be funny!".

[SarahJaynee]

Sounds like you are on a very large clear out of your life!

Just a word of caution about clearing people from the past or those whom you have judged in some way or another. From my personal experience it's enriching to have a variety of friends, (my own circle includes academics, porn stars, cleaners, office workers, retirees, entreprenuers, benefit spongers, multi-millionaires, bankers and prostitutes!). Yes their whole life and their opinions do not have to match yours on every level, but you may be surprised to see that your similarities are much greater than your differences.

We each have something to learn from EVERYONE we meet from the guy who cleans the public toilets to the toddler who smiles at you in the supermarket.

All change occurs from within, and whilst a good sweep across your Life to make the outside better, the only lasting change can happen from sitting alone with yourself and changing your thoughts and emotions to the exterior world.

Keep posting tho! Very interesting to see how your journey is going and where it will lead you.

Love, Light and Laughter.xx

[MC Kejml]

Thanks for your reply SarahJaynee,

I also have a variety of friends, for example I have two friends that are homosexual but they're great guys to be around with.

What I actually meant were people that do not bring anything to the relationship and even I can't imagine what could I do for them. Their only appearance may be or is downright negative and that's just what I believe is consuming a part of mine and their life, like the first guy.

Thank you for your encouragment, I'm pretty curious too :-D

[MC Kejml]

I just figured out what I'll do with the second guy. If he makes another post that seems abusive on my facebook page or distrupt me on my IM, I'll politely tell him to stop and if he doesn't, I'll simply delete him. I believe everybody can behave to another person in a polite, decent manner.

As for the girl, I guess I'll just continue the relationship, it doesn't really detract from my life anything at all. What I'll however need to do, is emotionally detach from it. How to do it I have no idea, I'll try and check some of Steve's blog which I recently began to read. It seems well written and thought. I know he had been a PUA in the past, which I despise, but now he really seems like a smart guy that has a point and I'm starting to like him.

[MC Kejml]

After checking my social circle, I am surrounded by great people. I recently acknowledged that and I'm really happy for that.

That concludes the first issue, which was just about renewing and cleaning my social surroundings.

2. Raising self-esteem. For example, being an enterpreneur that offers services (albeit very good), I'm afraid of talking to my friends (that could use it or someone they know would) about it! Wow!

Yeah, I've made about three threads about separate troubles that are connected to this.
I often feel that I am inferior to my friends or people I know that would be interested in my services and that could provide me with referrals (so I wouldn't have to do business with them again). The thing here is I don't hesitate to offer them the services, but that I feel I have nothing to offer, which is just plain bs. It's most probably an old belief.

The way I decided to go with this is contacting them with a friend from the company I work at. Contacting them by phone is even more painful to me, I have no idea why, so we'll contact them by IM.

[MC Kejml]

Oh my god, I had the most amazing experience ever.

This is from a note I written on the ride home.

"Dear forum members,

I just returned from the meeting with my colleague.. been to a water park for the first time with another friend... And again I felt without a care in the world, like a young man, not like a burdened aging man(19).. I felt like in the times I was very young, with no bad beliefs to held me back. Nothing but the sky limiting me... And I asked myself - why not stay this way...? It is possible...
It was the first time after a long, long time, all the responsibility, debt, shyness, infinitely small...
The way my colleague communicated with my friends.. the way I couldn't, because I was full of fear.. and they liked the way a lot, because that was just the natural, normal way... I forgot the way the same way I forgot my confidence... And I thought I was confident. It was like in a dream. I nearly cried when I saw their dialogue.

It's just... I don't want to return home, where my negative mom and granny humiliate me and make me wrong. I'm writing this note in the subway. I have 2 months of recreation in my cottage without any civilisation in front of me. Ideal for meditation or ... fixing myself
I just need to get onvvvv the confidence level like my friend had. It is of no coincidence that my low self esteem caused me to remain without a girlfriend for a long time.
And I know I can be that confident again. I felt it like a young boy; that's where todays' experience came from.

I guess it's something about the summer and my friend's behavior that made me feel this way. I just can't stand the fact that I see a gorgeous guy in the mirror and he can't even look into anybody's eyes.

As I get close to my home, I feel the subconscious kicking in and dragging me back below ground; where I felt like on top. What I'm feeling can not be described by words."

What now...?

What now...?

[MC Kejml]

Hmm. Today I began reading Louise L. Hay's You can heal your life and found an amazing quote about point 5.

"Do not complain about your parents, because you chose them as an embodiment of the challenge you chose to overcome."

And that's awesome.

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by MC Kejml

Oh my god, I had the most amazing experience ever.

This is from a note I written on the ride home.

"Dear forum members,

I just returned from the meeting with my colleague.. been to a water park for the first time with another friend... And again I felt without a care in the world, like a young man, not like a burdened aging man(19).. I felt like in the times I was very young, with no bad beliefs to held me back. Nothing but the sky limiting me... And I asked myself - why not stay this way...? It is possible...
It was the first time after a long, long time, all the responsibility, debt, shyness, infinitely small...
The way my colleague communicated with my friends.. the way I couldn't, because I was full of fear.. and they liked the way a lot, because that was just the natural, normal way... I forgot the way the same way I forgot my confidence... And I thought I was confident. It was like in a dream. I nearly cried when I saw their dialogue.

It's just... I don't want to return home, where my negative mom and granny humiliate me and make me wrong. I'm writing this note in the subway. I have 2 months of recreation in my cottage without any civilisation in front of me. Ideal for meditation or ... fixing myself
I just need to get onvvvv the confidence level like my friend had. It is of no coincidence that my low self esteem caused me to remain without a girlfriend for a long time.
And I know I can be that confident again. I felt it like a young boy; that's where todays' experience came from.

I guess it's something about the summer and my friend's behavior that made me feel this way. I just can't stand the fact that I see a gorgeous guy in the mirror and he can't even look into anybody's eyes.

As I get close to my home, I feel the subconscious kicking in and dragging me back below ground; where I felt like on top. What I'm feeling can not be described by words."

What now...?

What now...?

Before I write what I was going to say, I just wanted to say that I have the UTMOST respect for you and what you're doing.

Whenever I look at our generation, it seems that they just want to get "****ed up" and **** all the time. Not that I have much against the latter, but the former seems to put alot of people into what I call "spiritual debt" - they just forget to look inside themselves and seek to change from the inside out. It's sad that I haven't found too many people that are actually focused on growing, but it seems like you actually want to make a change for yourself.

I dropped out of college a month ago to persue blogging (I've always wanted to be a writer of some sort), but I'm realizing that in order to do what I really want to do in life, I'm going to have to get some type of working income.

Today, I just passed my health insurance exam for Life and Health, so I'm excited about that. I'm going to be spending my time doing that. That all goes to say that you'll find the proper answers to whatever you're looking for as long as you continue.

As for what you wrote in this above post,

I totally relate to you on all counts.

There are sometimes whenever I look at what I've done and I say to myself, "Where did all that charisma and charm that I once had go?"

But then I usually realize that it's never really "gone"; just dormant right now. Since I'm focusing on certain things, I don't have as much time to develop that part of my personality right now to the fullest extent, but just know this: that AWESOME guy is somewhere inside you. The best way that I've been able to pull it out of myself is through going out to clubs, approaching women on the street, etc.

I got my basic foundation for social skills from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and RSD - Real Social Dynamics. Check em out: Real Social Dynamics Nation

As for everything else, I'd love to keep in touch because it's cool to have people who are older and everything giving advice, but I love to learn from my peers and those who are in my age group.

I've already subscribed to this, so I'll be getting notifications.

Dueces,

-AR

[MC Kejml]

Thanks for your subscription AR,

I actually read the first few paragraphs and was like "what the hell". It's a nobrainer to mention it gave me tiny goosebumps. I basically don't mind if I'm making a diary here, but every reply is welcome, one as big as yours moreso.

The thing that I like is that even I don't have anything against doing those things. That's actually the reason I'd like to change while I'm still young; I realise I'm getting older and that these are the best years of my life, at least from what I know. Everyone has tolerance and a certain degree of acceptment for young people going batshit crazy, but when older people do it, it's just... cheesy, corny, I don't know.
I don't want to be that sleazy guy that goes into youngsters' clubs to pick up chicks that are 10 years younger than him, cause the older ones are out of his league.

Anyway I have to agree that peers have little respect for themselves. Having "Hit lists" or saying things like "27 guys haven't made me come" (and I actually heard both) out loud is just... no. On the other hand, I pity them in a way and (those I've met)are ok people to hang out with.
However, when you discover a peer that studies personal development and is cool in a way (like my colleague), you're pleasantly surprised.

But I digress. I admire your choice of business; I, too, provide people with things like Life insurance, Investments, Building savings business etc. in the best company in Europe, OVB. Yay! Congratulations on your success!

About my experience. I actually can't believe what happened yesterday, it was totally from a different world! I actually catched myself saying to me: "Yes, you could do it this way" without any hesitation or doubts. Can't describe it very well.
Yeah haha, I remember that when I came from the recreation a year ago, I actually talked to some girls on the subway lol. That's why I believe that this two month shift can help me to build some good traits.
Then again, I imagine myself like this serial killer or molester (or T-Bag) when I talk to a girl that I don't know. You see, what the hell.
Clubs and socializing also helped me a lot before. I was actively young

Ok, as for the books, I really like Carnegie's book and already adopted some of his advice. It's simply great. As for the other book, I'll check it out.

Thanks for the subby.

[MC Kejml]

Anyway, this thing.

I might have discovered something amazing about point 6.

I visualised and hoponoponed the night before my experience and I also visualised and hoponoponed straight before I got the interesting reply from AR and Michael S on the other thread. I'm starting to like visualisation and Ho'ponopono

[MC Kejml]

Some news.

Today, our relatives came to visit us and they brought two dogs with them. I have no idea why, but I was the only one they were totally batshit crazy about and barked on me for no apparent reason. I know it's pretty random, but being for a while in spirituality, it sort of got me thinking. Not for long tho.

I visualised again and immediately after it I started recommending a good movie for my friend, along with the girl in the first issue. To my choice of romantic movies (that the friend asked about) she replied with that "I have feelings of a chair". While I admit that's funny, we got into an argument a while later, when she commented on my optimistic status. Basically it ended in a "non-friendly" manner, so I guess that's also taken care of.

And a great experience. Few small things got me sad, so I went to our balcony, thought about habit 1... being proactive, and realised my errors make me a better person in a way, and that we're responsible for what we manifest... I know I smiled and went back in happily. What a shift.

[jameskinkade]

Originally Posted by MC Kejml

thought about habit 1... being proactive

You are bang on MC Kejml- just focus on that first habit. Forget about everything else to a certain point like all this visualisation and so forth. Work on strengthening that pro-activeness within you each day. Make a commitment to focus only on increasing your proactivity for the first 30 days. Learning how to get started and take actions on not only work related tasks, but also eating well, exercising, having fun and staying organised.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by MC Kejml

And a great experience. Few small things got me sad, so I went to our balcony, thought about habit 1... being proactive, and realised my errors make me a better person in a way, and that we're responsible for what we manifest... I know I smiled and went back in happily. What a shift.

there is that responsibility word

good for you

[MC Kejml]

Thanks for your replies. From what I can imagine, practicing proactivness and responsibility for what comes into my life seems like a soldier finally bravely charging into battle with no plan or weapons. I don't know, maybe I see it the wrong way.

Anyway, some news.

Today, I figured an interesting thing. I was exploring the levels of my confidence and self-esteem and much to my surprise, I was emanating great confidence and self-esteem while I was at home to my parents. While it may seem nothing out of the ordinary, it could be great to develop such confidence in relation to my clients, for example.

As for Issue 2, today at work I was asking my colleagues about a certain special situation that happened in our family (our car has broken down, so we needed a lift to the cottage I'm going to). I was very fearful and disheartened at times for no apparent reason ... and I just NEED that two months that will somehow cleanse me, for I couldn't continue.

I also read a lot of Louise Hay's You can heal your life and I'm starting to like the affirmation system mentioned there. I guess I'll use that for a while.

I guess the core of the problem lies at high school, where I wasn't very counted upon and mocked by others for the development level I was at. That's why when I returned back from my cottage last year, I was confident, but slowly lost it in school. Now, when I passed HS, I can continue properly.

I guess point 2 is for a long run, so I would like to address the other issues. I believe 3 has something to do with 2. My theory here is that I do not want to PUA or something like that. I do not like that style and I never will. However I believe that when 2 develops, 3 automatically comes along.

But most importantly, what could I concentrate on for the two months... Any ideas?

[MC Kejml]

As for point 3, I've been thinking about it and it suddenly came to my head that the main reason why I lost a girl that I was interested in or that was interested in me was since, aside from physical meetings, I actually seldomly or never contacted her. Weird, but again, there goes point 2. I can only figure I learned that stupid behavior from some half-assed PUA instruction of "not being available" and took it the wrong way.

[MC Kejml]

I've been pondering about this thing for a while... and uncovered an unbelievable fact.

Willard Barth in one of his videos mentioned that life is a series of PD tests. And my work is one of them.
I figured out this thing... I have a tremendous chance to succeed, if I can work on myself. And the state in which I was before I found my new work was a very sad one indeed. If I'd have to bail on the work, I would basically admit to myself "You wanted to stay a wimp."

And there is no way I'm going to do that. I finally understand it and it's do or die for me.

Some more news...

Just found Paul McKenna's programme "Instant confidence" and I was really happy with the recording. Funny thing, I sort of fell asleep :-D
I wonder if when I listen to a tape in what is not my native language, whether I get the message. This have been happening for a while, even with other audio books.

This cool thread

28 & never had a girlfriend - Advice/Thoughts

sort of hinted me where I was at. Same as the OP, I have all the knowledge, all the props... and I'm just afraid to use them.

Another major hint on it was that when I got into a conversation by accident or on purpose, I found myself as a really cool speaker. Weird ****.

[jameskinkade]

Good stuff MC,
IMHO, it seems like you are starting to de-cloud some issues / answer some questions inside your head, and once you do that you'll be able to motor forward. Keep it up

[MC Kejml]

Thanks for your reply James,

the way I see it, even writing the thoughts off helps and makes the message clear for me.

Anyway...

I'm going to the two months vacation tomorrow! What I see for myself in it is progress and gaining what I lack.

Today, I discovered this thread of Johnny Soporno. Most of the advice I found was sound, but the rule of BEING POLYGAMIC WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP is a NO.
Maybe I'm too much of a romantic or old-school person but this is so not going in my book. And I sort of believed the guy, he really tells some interesting things.

Anyway, off to new adventures! See you all again in September!

[MC Kejml]

Ok, back from the summer holidays!

Gotta tell you that I already miss the cottage. No internet, no television, just had my PC to play some games and write a screenplay I was working on for some time. Did that and a lot of other things, but I believe I cleared some of the mind clutter.

I discovered Anthony Robbins and he helped me a lot. I strongly believe he is the writer I just needed to learn from and that his books have it all. I basically don't need any other books on PD anymore.
I just so resonate with the guy. He is sympathetic to me even by his looks, he had lived a Rocky story and guess what, I am fan of rocky for about 2 years + making a similar movie. He walks a good talk.

A lot of the time, I was thinking about high school and how I will miss it. Suddenly, I could see the big picture. The learning system, the people there and so on really took its toll on me. I thought about things like "there goes my youth" and "I'm not young anymore". Somehow, I defeated it by telling myself that college still awaits me and that the best times of my youth are still yet to come. I also used some "leverage" (see below). So I really hope I got into this. I'm sad a bit, I don't know.
Read a article on yahoo today, a guy asked "Do you miss high school" and a reply was "Yes, since I regret x, y and z." And so I thought "man, I must do my best not to have regrets..."

The problems with people scoffing at the company I work in were easily resolved by "associating pain". I also developed a good work plan I will use, which helped me with confidence.

As for my self-esteem and self-confidence, I believe that it has risen - not the level I wanted, but it has and that definitely counts. So number 2 is being resolved and goes on.

As number 3 goes on, I definitely erased all PUA material from my computer, even the David DeAngelo stuff I got from my friend. I do not want to be involved in PUA in any way.

So how am I gonna do it? I guess I'll see what opportunity comes about.

Number 4. I started excercising during the summer. I begun with 20 situps and 10 pushups, now it's every morning with 40 and 30 plus the neccessary warmup. I'm sort of proud of the two months, hehe.

As for problem 5, I'm getting less and less angry and when I do, I try not to react in any way. Still need some tweaking though.

As far asi 6 goes, the PD techniques of my choice became the ones Anthony Robbins talks about. And as for spiritual knowledge, I somehow really like ND Walsh.

I... overall feel better. And that's just cool. I felt the old "depression demons" creeping at me, but I defeated some of them and that's just great.

[AlmostGodess]

You see full of energy, MC! Nice to know you are doing so great

[MC Kejml]

Thank you for your reply, AlmostGoddess.

You're right, I do feel really energized. Today, I had a bit of a hard day at work, however, I read some of Robbins work, I think chapter 4 of his "AAGW" book and when I came home, I suddenly began writing all the people on my facebook, friends who I have seen or not seen, people who I wouldn't really write because of my beliefs I had.

I had some really good chats, made some good new friends and really feel well. I never did such a thing before summer holidays, thinking they'd insult me (why? lol) I'm happy

[Jaxi]

Great for you! I support ya!
1. Getting rid of toxic people in your life who have drained you for years without you realizing is very energizing and empowering. You have no idea!
2. Forget affirmations - just think positively and take action on the things you want in your life - do something to get them more into your world daily - even if it's the smallest thing. You can say affirmations all day long -nothing will change. Decision and action will change things thinking positively comes from within - it's a belief in yourself. I am not saying don't read a motivational quote - I am saying just use your time better

let me know if I can help with this any more. I don't have time right now to read all your posts on this - perhaps later I will. If there is something specific you are working on right now or having trouble moving ahead with (having a stuck moment), let me know.

Remember, no matter what you end up changing - the experience you will gain from this is all truly remarkable - and shouldn't be forgotten or chalked up to nothing. That in itself is very life changing too - b/c you grow as a person

Jaxi

[MC Kejml]

Thanks for your reply Jaxi. Thank you for your words and your offer, too, I'll remember it.

[MC Kejml]

Long time no reply.

Some nice news first. Yesterday, I made one of the greatest business deals I've ever made. I was incredibly happy, it was so cool. I took some advice from a friend who works at the same place as I do and what I did yesterday can be called a "Clean job". Dang!

Ok, anyway, this might be a bit funny, but who cares.
I've been reading some Robbins articles and videos, and right now, I remember his "associating with pain" and "interrupting patterns". I don't know how could I have ever made this up, but whenever I think about a bad thing that happened to me, (and that happens to be recurring), I'd sting my neck with my finger and both interrupt a pattern and associate physical pain. Yeah, it's psycho stuff but the insane thing was it worked during the summer holidays.

Feeling happy now, however. Only 30 pages of the movie script are remaining to be translated and then it's happy street for me.

However, I've discovered a weird thing I might need some help from you guys. As I mentioned in one of my last posts, I started meeting some of my old friends, which I definitely succeeded at. It's awesome, we're going to a concert today with buddies I haven't met for a year.
But, this thing. I have no problem talking to a man and going for a cold one with him, but I CAN'T write the SAME THING to a girl!
Maybe it has something to do with my assumption that they'd assume I mean a date, not a simple friendly meeting. Any ideas? Thanks.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by MC Kejml

Long time no reply.

However, I've discovered a weird thing I might need some help from you guys. As I mentioned in one of my last posts, I started meeting some of my old friends, which I definitely succeeded at. It's awesome, we're going to a concert today with buddies I haven't met for a year.
But, this thing. I have no problem talking to a man and going for a cold one with him, but I CAN'T write the SAME THING to a girl!
Maybe it has something to do with my assumption that they'd assume I mean a date, not a simple friendly meeting. Any ideas? Thanks.

Sure, tell them it's just to have fun and unwind with dinner and some good conversation without making a big deal about it.

[MC Kejml]

Thanks Gene.

My god, the weirdest of all things just happened.

I got into a violent argument with my mother about my enterpreneurship that lasted about 20 minutes (wow). Scary stuff, bad things happened, she even intrused into my CLIENTS!!! personal documents and I acted WAY arrogant.

And then, I say let's have some fun and go into Nostalgia Critic page ( a movie critic ) and there, he criticizes my favorite movie of all time, Rocky IV. I don't know, but I feel totally offended and sad. I don't know what to say.

I feel extremely sad since Rocky IV inspired me to do a great movie I am making the script to from december. And just when I deleted the last trace of friends that wished me no good, this happens. As if something stampeded over both my fav movie and my own movie and my last 2 years life.

[MC Kejml]

I'm sticking to anthony robbins interpretation that it's just one interpretation of many and that I have to choose the most empowering meaning to me.