trusting God trusting people

[keepitreal]

I came on this website on accident, but it was after a long walk which was due to hating most of the world. I got accused of forcing my self on a woman who had been a patient. I never got charged or arrested, and found out the woman had done this kind of thing before and brought it to the attention of the board, she also had BPD which the previous Dr. had not noted on her chart. I even took a lie detector test which verified what I told them.
I have never seen such corruption, the board kept information from me, wrote me up as guilty and required me to see a psychologist as part of the agreed order. He wrote them a 9 page report in which he specifically said I should return to practice immediately and did not believe the story the woman told.
Had I lied and made them prove things, I would still be practicing. I see people lie and cheat and get ahead. I see that the reason you yourself got ahead was you let the truth not be told and took advantage of that, it seems the only way to attract anything good is to lie and cheat. I am so frustrated that I spent years to work at doing something to help people and it was ripped away from me by people who had power and would not give me a fair trial. I have spent over 30 k on legal fees and am told that I am at their mercy. I trust no one now, and am miserable. Is there anyone who can make sense of this or had something similar happen?

[elucidate]

I feel you here. I've had the same conflict for years. It seems society encourages lies and cheating and anyone who doesn't play along gets royally screwed.

Most small business owners cannot get buy without cutting corners or cheating in some way. Liars and cheats get ahead while honest people get left behind or aren't trusted BECAUSE they dont lie and cheat like the rest of the world. That's why I turned my back on the world pretty much.

[elucidate]

I've had many scenarios of people lying to me and have felt the same as you are now. I can understand why you want to hear other peoples stories to help you feel like you aren't the only one, and to maybe put your situation into perspective.

At the moment though, I don't wish to recall any of my stories. Hopefully lots of others here will be willing to.

[slumberland]

dear keepitreal,

I wrote you a long response last night, then right before pressing send it got erased.

I wanted to say I'm so sorry, this truly sounds like a nightmare. If you are checking these messages I will try to recreate my message from last night.
But I started saying no, I can't make sense of it.

Also, that there are environments where people are really good and lying and cheating does not get anyone ahead, however I don't know what a person can do when their dream involves having to deal with an environment that attracts and encourages despicable behavior. I am not writing this very well right now, but I will also mention a book i recently saw called Snakes In Suits - about how immoral people/sociopaths operate in the corporate/business world.

I didn't read the book, just parts of it online and also people's amazon reviews. Even if this didn't happen in a corporate environment, maybe this book will give you some validation, and support.

One recommendation is that if possible you surround yourself with good people, and good environments... at least as much as you can.

This message is really inadequate, I wrote better last night but if you are still checking here I will try again. Also as far as God that is very difficult, one reason things happen is that it is maybe the price of free will, which includes the freedom for people to do extremely harmful things that hurt innocent people.

[keepitreal]

thanks,
I know that I have been disgusted with hearing all the manifestation and God garbage that completly fell apart when this happened to me. I see people like bernie madoff destroy peoples lives and get away with it. I trusted that by telling the truth things would turn out ok. I had lies printed in the newspaper about me, and get tired of hearing that things happen for a reason. Try telling that to ALL the people that died in 9-11. Did they all manifest that plane killing them? I see a common thread that so many people were real manipulators and didn't get punished for things they did. Steve pavila for example. They got away with things they shouldn't have. My case is the exact opposite. I told the truth and got destroyed because of it. And I have reached out for support from others in my field and get told "good luck", but no one wants to help. No one. Any ideas on that?

[ellie]

Sounds like a horrible experience...maybe this will help?

I know for myself I went through a terrible time when someone mistreated me, and at the time, I could not for the life of me understand why it was happening, and why life seemed to be throwing me lemons.

The thing is, looking back it was the best experience in my life. It was what instigated me, to go forward in my life, and start taking action.

So at the time, I could not see the purpose, but now I clearly see it's purpose.

[Desir15]

dear keepitreal,

Honestly you should look back on that experience and be proud of yourself in this world everything goes away there is only one thing that stays with you forever is you integrity.

to keep it real your circumstances might be unjust and negative but the person you are is the only thing that matters there is a movie and a book that you can relate to that you would most definitely enjoy. The movie is called Hurricane: story of Rubin Carter. Rent it. and the book is Man search for Meaning. Buy it.

Don't mean to be harsh but don't be a victim. You can waste your time feeling sorry for yourself but it won't change anything. I'm saying this cause I care. If anything be hard on yourself. The harder you are on yourself the easier the world will be on you.

Tough times don't last tough people do.

[slumberland]

dear keepitreal,

I'm glad you are still checking this thread.

It looks like there are major segments of this society caught in corruption and deception. And yes, they get away with it. It is hard to believe.

I think that when somebody decides to do something evil it is possible to be plunged into a realm where things are no longer fair or make sense in any way. I don't think everything is for the best, happens for a reason, or all works out in the end...

Though sometimes things can, and DO.

Just this week my mother told me about a doctor who had told her she needed surgery last year, but she refused because after researching it we found out it was a very risky procedure - well, another person went to this doctor, some friend of my uncle's, and is now in a wheelchair because the doctor injured his spinal cord doing this exact same procedure. It is in another country, but this doctor is considered renowned and has received no consequences and has done this to people before.

You need support right now. You need to experience human kindness. There are support groups (anonymous) and spiritual centers/churches, temples, etc. that might be worth looking into... even if it is not your same exact belief system, being around people who at least believe in truth and justice could be healing. As much as people can be evil, people can be heroic, people can be good.

I don't know how or where, but my wish for you would be that truly heroic people will show up in your world to counteract this evil.

slumberland

p.s. Btw, what do you mean, "Steve Pavila??" - do you mean Steve Pavlina? He's a good guy of course!

[keepitreal]

Thanks for your input,
I won't hope people will show up and help. They won't. People show up for free beer. As I said before, what I have gotten from people is " well good luck". I know that I got my degree not by luck but by hard work. I also know individuals I went to school with who cheated on their exams and received scholarships because of their GPA.
What possible reason would there be for me to work for 10 years at getting my lisence, going over 100k in debt, and having a licensing board use their corruption and power to destroy my life? And the woman who did this get off scott free?
I understand you feel my pain, but the reality of this is that I trusted things would work out and they have not. I cannot believe that me losing everything I worked for because I spoke truthfully and had I lied, I would still have my practice and not be stressing on how I am going to pay off my student loan. It seems the message I am to get from all of this is that being honest is not what it is cracked up to be. As far as my comment about Steve, his situation was that he should have been punished and it fell through the cracks. So the message from him is to lie and you will be rewarded. Unless someone out there is willing to actually step up to the plate and take action and offer some concrete help, I do not need any sympathy. My actions put me in my situation. My anger is from hearing about laws of attraction and I want to show my situation to others so you don't fall in the same trap I did. Thanks

[Daniel Birdick]

Originally Posted by keepitreal

I understand you feel my pain, but the reality of this is that I trusted things would work out and they have not… It seems the message I am to get from all of this is that being honest is not what it is cracked up to be.

Welcome to reality!

You are bitter. Do the bitterness thing for as long as you think you need to, then use some mental tricks to move on.

My actions put me in my situation.

Excellent. Seeing that is the first step toward empowerment.

To continue “keeping it real”, at some point you are going to move past blame and towards clarity, if you want to. No one made you believe all that stuff about the law of attraction or that the “good guys” will win in the end or that telling the truth is always the best policy. You were naïve, that's all. Now you’re not. Use this as an opportunity to adapt to life as it really works for you rather than wallow in disillusionment.

If someone plays hardball with you, be willing to play hardball right back.

[slumberland]

Keepitreal,

Is there any way to get strategic help? Everyone knows that attorneys can be corrupt, but if you can find a way to select good ones... maybe talk to several and get their strategic advice (a lot of them will meet you for a half hour initial consult for free - and they all say different things).

You can look at Superlawyers or AV-rated attorneys. Be careful who you talk to.

Honesty can backfire very badly, and it has nothing to do with the law of attraction. You're right.

But now what? Don't do anything quickly. Take things very very slow, keep a low profile. research intelligently.

Maybe somebody will help you pro bono. Also: you say that people aren't helping you. But what if you ask those people just for advice, what would they do in your situation? Where would they turn? Maybe they'll have ideas, and it won't be at any cost to them.

Now don't automatically trust or act on their advice, just take it in and give yourself time to weigh it. Don't take any action other than gather information, try to get a sense of your options. Any move could make things worse so take time to get smart about this kind of thing.

If the psychiatrist is on your side and this person has a history... maybe this isn't permanent. Are you sure that nothing can be done and your career is completely destroyed... there might be options you aren't aware of... Daniel is right, if there is a way to play hardball back try to find it, it may take time.

[keepitreal]

I appreciate that you read this and are trying to help. I have always listened to and practiced being motivated, self improvement etc. I quit drugs smoking and drinking years ago because they controlled me. I bring this up because there is something that I have been able to tap into to get me through tough situations.
I feel like all the things I read and hear about which depict life becoming wonderful and you just have to have faith and things happen in God's time not mine blah blah blah are garbage. The frustration comes from being treated like a criminal after I was honest with them. If I wanted to invest 100 K in this, I would get the ball rolling at least. I have talked and worked with 4 lawyers in the last month on this. They all say it was obvious that i was not treated fairly, but to bring it to court was going to cost me. The board knows this. They have virtually unlimited time, money and resources. They will never say they were wrong, and will fight tooth and nail. They have already shown they will do whatever they want to to keep their power. If I were wealthy, this would all be taken care of. So I feel demolished because no matter what i show them they still want to depict me as a criminal.
Checking with lawyers from other states and asking about getting licensed elsewhere comes up with the same result. No other state will go against another boards judgement. So even if I apply, they will uphold that judgement.
No lawyer wants to do pro bono on this. They don't want to ruin their own careers by taking on the state board and making an enemy of them. I just see that trusting God doesn't work, I should have just used common sense.

[slumberland]

I have thoughts about what you posted but I have to get something done so it may take me a day or so to respond in a real way.

For now I will just throw this out there, though it might be totally useless:

What about getting a license somewhere else, like in Canada, would that be possible? I don't know if it's a medical license you're talking about but here is an old thread from some other forum discussing that option. Different posters have different opinions about what is possible for a US citizen:

Is it easier for American FP to get license in Canada | Canada | Student Doctor Network

This might not work at all, but maybe there are other solutions - maybe other people will have ideas too. I'll post again later.

[keepitreal]

I have checked into several states, and have gotten the same response, the ruling of the previous board would be observed. I am told I can apply and the board will review my application. Since the board had written things up to project me as a criminal, I would have to convince any other board that the original board is lying and I am telling the truth. It would be like going to a police department and trying to say an officer shook me down. All of this takes time and alot of money to do. The only other option I see is to make this story public. I have contacted several pubications regarding the issue, and have not gotten any interest.
So if there is such a thing as law of attraction it has not shown any evidence in my case. I see many people who purport it does, one cheats on her husband frequently, another lies to insurance companies and employees along with not claiming all of his income to keep his family wealthy. They both talk about attracting like minded people blah blah blah. They are both dishonest.

And if there is karma and we attract things to us, then a child who is molested must therefore have wanted to be abused. Even though he/she had no idea about sex even existing. Or they must have done something terrible for Karma to have brought that back to them. What's your thoughts on that?

[MidasGirl]

Well, what part of this do you own? What responsibility do you take in all this?

[Daniel Birdick]

Originally Posted by keepitreal

What's your thoughts on that?

Instead of focusing on solutions you are here hoping someone will argue with you about the magical worldview. You want it all to be real, don't you? You're hovering between anger and bargaining. Perhaps, despite your bitterness, you're hoping someone can convince that your former worldview is still viable? Hows that working out for ya?

[keepitreal]

Here is a better and more result oriented question to ask..
What did I not take responsibility for?
Answer.... I took full responsibility for my actions.100%. That's the challenge. Had I not taken responsibility and instead denied everything, I would still be practicing. All the physical evidence went against her story, it was her word against mine. I told the truth to the board. They took the parts they wanted and used them, and the staff attorney made sure I could not bring in character witnesses against her or the lie detector which backed up my story. You seem to take the attitude that they must be punishing me for something because they are here to protect the public. I get the repeated assumption from people that the board is being fair.
I grew up on the South side of Chicago, and moved because of the prejudice I saw against people because of their color or sexual preference. If you tried to walk or drive through my old neighborhood and you were black, you got beaten at the least. So I am well aquainted with being treated unfairly. I remember when Harold Washington ran for Mayor and won because 90+% of the black voters got out and voted for him. Highest voting turnout in Chicago history. I heard stories of the police locking up anyone who was black for any reason they could to keep them from voting. Friends of mine told me about it.
So if you have not been exposed to corruption it may be difficult to think it happens to anyone in this country.
I did alot of research on their judgements after this happened and found a pattern of harsh treatment from the board. There was a doctor who had a patient for 12 years, after 12 years they dated for 3, and got married. After 5 years of marriage they(the board) charged him with sexual misconduct, fined him 5k, required him to get a psychosexual evaluation and report to them every 3 months for the next 3 years. He was guilty of violating the statutes, and admitted it, but the penalty he recieved from them was excessive and undeserved in my opinion. What do you think?
If you are looking for the normal reflexive blind faith questioning of " well what is your part in it?' , you should accept that I am being responsible for my actions but got penalized by an unfair system. I am not looking for handouts, I worked extremely hard to attain my degree and it was ripped from me. So what can you offer as far as concrete, result oriented, strategy or refer this case to someone who would take an interest to helping someone out? I can back up everything I say with documentation.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If there is a force in the universe that will attract things to me that i need , I am putting it to the test. So universe....either put up or shut up.

[keepitreal]

I'm not sure what outcome you are trying to attain here. Hard work gets you results, and I do keep on working at it. My observation is that most people just talk the talk. I actually walked what I talked and got demolished. I don't want to be like like the ones I described. What is your objective here?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by keepitreal

My anger is from hearing about laws of attraction and I want to show my situation to others so you don't fall in the same trap I did. Thanks

Are you saying that the reason you are experiencing this "destruction" is that you heard about the law of attraction, and you're here to save others from your fate?

[Daniel Birdick]

Originally Posted by keepitreal

What is your objective here?

Talking to you is like talking to my former self. I was a believer a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Reality disabused me of my naive notions about life though. I have found that I feel better having released any lingering anger I felt about life not being what other people told me it would be.

Oh and there is the amusement factor.

[MidasGirl]

You seem to take the attitude that they must be punishing me for something because they are here to protect the public.

Me?? Way to ASSume.

I didn't see the part where you said, "I slept with a patient, a former patient, who was mentally not OK, I knew that could land me in trouble, but I did it anyway". Nowhere have you mentioned if you slept with this patient while she was still under your care. Or just simply saying, "wow, I made a dumb mistake, and now I'm paying for it". Look I've made many dumb mistakes that I'm paying for right now.

All you're doing is whining. And I understand you feel wronged. And without knowing the facts we don't know what exactly happened. We only have one side of the story here. But it really doesn't matter. What matters is that NOW you are here. Is bitching and moaning what's gonna get you the outcome you want? How are you ever going to get past this and powerfully overcome your adversity if you just see yourself as a victim?

Don't even talk to me about corruption or discrimination. If I told you storied of what I've been through you'd probably go, "ok, please, keep your problems I'll keep mine."

I do think there are unfair laws or actually dumb laws. I think the abuse of power one is taken too far sometimes. If you wanted to date your patient do you not have to excuse yourself completely from being their doctor?

I'm not reading the responses you've gotten cuz I'm probably not into offering the conventional molly coddling responses. There are so many other people available to do that around here, believe me. Feel free to ignore my response if it doesn't sit well with you. But your problems will begin to end when you start to take responsibility for situations you create.

[slumberland]

I don't find this amusing at all. This is a person's whole life.

Perhaps your disillusionment wasn't nearly as severe? Or maybe it was, I don't know...

And yes, people do need to be warned about the bad stuff that is out there.

As I said in another post, I will write more later.

[keepitreal]

you find amusement in anothers' demise? Do you even have a soul? What kind of a creature are you to read about someone who was destroyed because of my own misguided idealisms of honesty and fairness and to poke fun at them?

[keepitreal]

Dear Midasgirl,
You seem interested in this so I will give you some. The previous Dr. had seen this woman for several years, and there was NO mention of any psyche issues. NONE. She seemed normal. If you are not familiar with a person with BDP, the movie "fatal attraction" is an example of someone with it. I reviewed her chart thoroughly.
I told her that if we were to date, I was ending the professional relationship.
This was done before we dated. I also knew her as a patient for a very short time.
If you want to help someone, then do it. As I have said, being honest is what got me into this mess, what I am seeing is people who are responding trying to point the finger at me and that I tried to take advantage of someone. Let me reiterate, all I had to do was lie and none of this would have happened.
I know there are good people out there and I want to find them. I am extremely non-trusting of most however.

[mikethedrummer44]

So are you just looking for someone to tell you how you created that situation? I'm confused as to what you actually want out of this.

At any rate, isn't it over? What do you have to gain from demanding answers from Steve or the forum?

[Daniel Birdick]

Oh bother! Did I say I find your predicament amusing? Nope. Did I at any time explicitly poke fun of your story? Nope. I do however find self righteous anger amusing. You haven’t gotten past that yet. You can and will with time and effort. Your anger, while necessary, will only cloud your judgment.

Look, I’m not sugarcoating anything for you. I’m not telling you it’s all going to be alright or to just have faith or to put a smile on your face, etc. I gave you solid advice about getting past your anger and your surface need to prove LOA thinkers wrong so that you can either fight for what you want or choose to want something else. My questions were designed to spur your own thinking and nothing more. I am assuming that you neither want nor need my pity. I also assumed that straight talk is what you wanted given your chosen moniker of "keep it real". Then again you know what they say about assuming. If I was wrong, my bad.

Originally Posted by keepitreal

you find amusement in anothers' demise? Do you even have a soul? What kind of a creature are you to read about someone who was destroyed because of my own misguided idealisms of honesty and fairness and to poke fun at them?

[Daniel Birdick]

Oh and one more thing. If you want to challenge the LOA thinkers with your tale, you might consider posting it in the Intention Manifestation forum. If the eminent LOA sage Acting Like Godot is in the mood, he'll take up your challenge.

[keepitreal]

Yes i am trying to make sense of it all. I see the message of attracting what you want in life contrary to life. People get abused and killed for what reason. All this talk of love and being honest and feeling the feelings of happiness are void of me now. I loved helping people, I was able to contribute, it was ripped from me because I thought telling the truth would keep me honest. You are sworn in on a bible to tell the truth in a court, but it seems like you are screwed if you do and screwed if you don't.
So I am looking for a way get rid of this anger and be happy, but it seems that the idea of telling the truth is just lip service. I am financially stressed about paying a student loan debt that I can't use my degree to pay for and putting out a resume with this suspension closes doors. So I am forced to lie about my past.
So posting this brings me in contact with some people who are really just parrots and repeat the same drivel and garbage that I have heard before... the ones that try to get me to look at myself, and not reading the truth of what I am saying. And I will find others who may offer me an idea that i have not thought of. And maybe this Steve guy will respond to give me thoughts on it and I can see if he is on the level.
I cannot put it past me, it will always follow me. Try getting any kind of a job with this to explain. Look at the way I have been questioned on this forum
regarding this situation. Does that make things a bit clearer?

[keepitreal]

Oh and there is the amusement factor. [/QUOTE]

How is this not making fun of my demise? Thank you very little.

[MidasGirl]

keepitreal, this Steve guy will probably respond by sending you a link to one of his articles

Seriously though, I do have compassion for you and your situation. But I think the reason you're seeing the responses you are is that here most people are pulling for you to take your power back and rise up from the ashes like the Phoenix.

I only responded cuz I thought you were interested in learning from this and moving on, as opposed to coming here to create a pity party. I don't even respond to posts that I perceive as being for pity party purposes, the partyers are many.

So you feel that you stuck to the truth and you still got bit in the ass? Maybe this journey aint over. I do believe "The truth sets you free", but I think most people misunderstand this to mean it literally sets you free from a tough situation. Maybe it liberated you from your own shackles of whatever it is you were seeking to liberate yourself from. And btw, why is your ego so tied to the fact that you can no longer be a traditional doctor? Maybe this situation is here to teach you that this wasn't your path? And that maybe you can help a lot more people by letting go of this illusion that something was taken away from you?