Flaws

[Fireblade]

Hi I decided to join here to help me get a number of problems that I have been experiencing lately. First of all I am a university student. I have a number of problems that I have been experiencing lately. First of all I am doing a course in which I thought would be good, however after expericing the course I am really not interested in persuing this area of work it's not what I thought it would be. Problem is with the money spent I may as well finish and to that end I am having real problem motivating myself. In lectures this year I constantly am dosing and not paying much attention so like last year when it comes to exams I do bad. I feel I'm not as clever as I was before I went to Uni.

My sleeping patterns are not too good either I can wake up early for a few days but after that I get tired and revert to my old patterns. I seem to spend and inaudible amount of time of the net just surfing and wasting time. I'm usually either on forums or just Reading. Personally I think my overuse had resulted in my Lack of mental sharpness shall we say. I exercise alot in fact I have alot of physical hobbies which I would like to do more and when I try to create training routines for them this never hold true. I really want to find my self discipline. I have to pay for university and am raking up a sizeable amount of debt but don't really feel scared about my impending doom I miss alot of lectures etc. Usually spending time sleeping or on the net instead.

I would like to knock all these bad habbits on the head. I also feel I'm a very negative person when it comes to work or other things. Perfectionism is my game and If I felt I haven't done better than my peers at something I feel I did rubbish. For instance I was running with my friend became angry that I wasn't as fit as him, even though I'm I'm good shape because it what I enjoy doing, but I really felt rubbish and I didn't want to go out again because I didn't want to lose as it were. It makes me really angry when someone tells me I'm wrong as well and I find it really hard to admit for instance if we are doing a calculation and I'm wrong and someone I'm working with is right it really really annoys me I can't stand it makes me feel as if I'm rubbish.

My organisation is terrible and I would have failed already but not for my intellectual ability which by itself with no work is wasted. The good thing is that I know what I want to do but I may ad well finish uni as I need money to do what I want.

Sorry for rambling I'm sure there were more things which I have realised need to be sorted but i can't remember. Also sorry for typos as I'm typing on my phone.

Thanks to all that reply