The Adventure of a Lifetime - a 19 Year Old's Quest

[Ceoarob]

I'm excited that this is the first of the month, and now, I'm going to be writing the most important document that I have EVER written so far.

This is going to be a letter and also a forum entry.

The Master Blueprint of Alexander The Great

So I've been out of college for the past 20 days or so. I've made a moderate amount of progress, but it has been EXTREMELY slow as compared to what I know that I'm capable of. The following note is a description of the promises that I'm making to myself and everything that I plan on doing in the next 90 days. I'm ready to kick everything into high gear and I'm starting to demand the MOST out of myself.

So now, I have to ask myself, what is it that I'm trying to say here?

Why am I writing this in the first place?

So whenever I left college, I thought that I was going to be in the most productive state of my life. Meaning that, I'd be able from all the distractions and things that would take away focus from me doing the things I wanted to do. Needless to say, when I arrived back home, I forgot the Basic Principle of State Transference. It goes along the lines of Newton's Laws of Motion that state, "An object at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. And an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force." The Basic Principle of State Transference state, "Although an individual may change location, his emotional state and focus will remain the same unless consciously changed through thought and feeling."

So whenever I came home, I was expecting to work hard on blogging, but because I had been in a semi-passive state for a while, my Mental Muscles hadn't been activated at all. Only after I started to use my imagination did things start coming alive in my mind.

I am writing this because this is my pledge for MASSIVE ACTION. I haven't been living up to my potential, and I've crossed the tipping point in my life and I realize that NOW is the time to grow. I've been "waiting" until I'm up for the task, but I know that *ACTION always comes before the State*

Because I'm at a critical point in my life, I've realized a couple things. One, I need to grow up, take responsibility, and become a man. While the habits that have served me for the past 19 years might have carried me through childhood, during that time, I was relying on other people to take care of me. Now, I have to slowly start switching my reliance on others to reliance on myself. This comes through taking responsibility for my life, my choices, my actions, and whatever results I have in my life.

It's time to grow up.

What am I doing? What are the plans that I have laid out for myself?

In the next 90 days, I have laid out the most intense schedule for growth in every possible aspect. Even thinking about it gets me nervous in a way because it is a gargantuan plan that I have set in motion, but it will be worthwhile every step of the way. In the next 90 days, I am going to undergo more personal growth than I ever have in my life, but it is all based on a burning desire that I have inside myself to really TRANSFORM my life.

It feels like I've been playing level 2 all this time, but now it's time to kick it up to level 3, so here it is.

On Tuesday, June 1, 2010, I'm going to get a job at Staples to provide me with an income that I can work for and funnel into my business and personal growth endeavors. This is not going to be permanent, but this is going to get the ball rolling so that I can make enough money to pay for my basic expenses.

On Monday, June 7, 2010, I'm going to take and pass my Property and Casualty Licensing Exam for Insurance. I'm going to pass with flying colors through diligence and studying both hard smart for this exam. I NEED this License so that I can start selling insurance for Auto, Home, and Others. After I take the test, I will be applying the same day to get my license and I should have it in a very short amount of time. I've already gone through the pre-licensing course, so everything I'm doing is dependent upon when I can take this test.

Through Friday, June 11 to Monday, June 14, I'm going to be attending a Life and Health Insurance Course taught by JW Richardson. This course will be 40 hours and is mandatory for me to get my Life and Health Insurance License. I will have already studied in advance, so I plan on this simply being a "review" session for me.

On Tuesday, June 15th, I'm going to take my Life, Accident, and Sickness Exam and pass with flying colors. Since I will have already have been studying since the end of my Property and Casualty exam and already gone through the 40 hour Course, I plan on taking this as soon as possible simply because the information will already have been on my mind and I'll be ready to just "get it over with". I'll be applying the same day for my license, so I will get my official license very shortly afterwards.

On Wednesday, June 23 through Thursday, June 24, I will be attending the Insurance Pro Shop Bootcamp in Atlanta, Georgia which will give me the basics on how to be successful in the Insurance Industry and will give me the tools and techniques for both Marketing and Sales that I'll need in order to get started successfully in this industry. This is "specialized" knowledge in the field of insurance. Since I will already have gone through the courses to get my licenses, this will be the next step that I will have to take. Even though this is NOT mandatory by the State of Georgia, I know that if I plan on becoming the best, then I have got to learn from the best. This course will serve as a full immersion into the entire marketing system for Insurance and is NECESSARY if I even plan on being successful in this field. Although I could learn all of these things on my own, it would take a lot longer, be MUCH more frustrating, and would not be efficient in my time, energy, and money. I plan on sitting in the front row of this Seminar Bootcamp, taking the best notes that I can, drawing up a plan for how to successfully implement these into my Insurance sales, and implementing them into action the DAY that I leave the Seminar Bootcamp. I know the value of education, and I KNOW that this course will payoff both professionally and financially VERY quickly. This is essentially an investment in technology, marketing, and my understanding of how the world works in the field of insurance.

On Friday, July 16 through Sunday, July 18, I will be attending Steve Pavlina's Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, Nevada. This workshop will not only help me grow as a person, but also as an entrepreneur, and will help me refine the type of contribution that I want to give to the world. I have already read his book, "Personal Development for Smart People", so I know that he delivers valuable content. It would behoove me to attend this as I would not only be able to network with like minded individuals with a similar interest in personal growth, but I know I would make some lifelong connections simply from attending and meeting some new people.

[Ceoarob]

By Sunday, August 1, 2010, I will have, in my possession, 25,000 dollars of my own money which will come to me through various means and throughout the interim. In return for this money, I will render the most efficient service through which I am capable of, produce the fullest possible quantity, and deliver the highest quality possible in the capacity of salesmanship Insurance services. This is simply not 25,000 dollars falling from the sky into my lap. Rather, I will work and EARN this money. I will devise plans that lead me to my desired amount of money and I will follow through on them and take action. Along with the specialized knowledge that I have gained through the Insurance Pro Shop Bootcamp that I have taken earlier, I will continue my education to increase both my quality and quantity of Insurance salesmanship.

By Monday, August 2, 2010, I will have moved out of my house and signed the lease on my apartment located at 17th Street Loft Apartments. Ever since moving to college, I have had the chance to experience "true freedom" where I have been completely responsible for my actions. Moving back home for the summer has REALLY stifled me as a person. It is the same feeling as Freedom Lost. I feel like I've lost my freedom by moving back, and I know that staying at my house is not something I intend on doing forever. The sooner I can move out, the better. It's great, but it's time for me to grow as a person.

On Wednesday, August 18, 2010, I will be in Austin, Texas for my Real Social Dynamics bootcamp. Since I have experienced first hand the valuable content and experience that this company provides, it is my highest priority to attend. I am going here in order to learn social skills, about relationships, dating, expressing my authentic self, and living in abundance with women. I know that there are a lot of men in this world that live in scarcity when it comes to women, but I want to choose a different life for myself. Since I've experienced RSD firsthand, I know that this is the BEST possible learning experience that I could ever have for myself and I'm wanting to get this area of my life HANDLED. Not only will this bootcamp influence the way that I interact with women, but it breaks down the basic principles for any and every social interaction. Therefore, not only my dating life will be improved, but also my sales career, and my personal relationships with people.

When am I doing it? What is the timeframe?

The specified time plan occurs between the dates of June 1st, 2010 and August 21st, 2010. While the major events have been listed out, there will also have to be dates included for travel and extra events that I intend on doing but have not specified as "main events".

The month of June is going to be me kicking things into high gear and setting up the basic structures of how I want things to work out. June will be considered my Personal Education month as I'll be exposed to new ideas and new concepts. The month of July is going to be me implementing those structures and refining them and really increasing my ability to earn financially in the future. This will be a month of massive personal and professional growth as I'll be spending most of my time tweaking and optimizing my income stream with Insurance. The month of August will continue the growth that has occurred during June and July, but will be the month where I begin to branch off into my own. I'll be making many of my own decisions autonomously, but will be geared towards professional and emotional growth.

Included is a calendar that gives a visual representation of what I plan on doing.

June -



July -

August -


Why? Why am I am going to follow through 100% with these?

I am going to follow through 100% with these plans because they are my destiny, really. It's up to me to take my passion and make it happen. I feel as if though I've never been truly tested for my strength and I want to give the ABSOLUTE BEST towards a project that I know is a stretch beyond my current capabilities. I've never done the things that I plan on doing before, and I want to truly test the waters on the quote, "Whatever the human mind can conceive, and believe, then it can achieve".

In my life, I have READ of great feats accomplished by men with little or no resources. When I read these stories, there is a deep soul conviction that I, too, can achieve the great things that I have read about. I KNOW that if I put myself to a task, I would be able to accomplish what others would be consider "impossible".

In addition, I think of my piano skill set. Since I've been playing for 3 or 4 years, mainly without a teacher, I've taught myself a variety of pieces. I've learned pieces that others have considered to be "impossible" to learn on one's own. However, when I perform these pieces in front of people, they are not only amazed by the fact that I've learned such difficult pieces, but they are doubly amazed at the fact that I was able to teach me these things.

I consider myself to have a very unique learning style. Everyone has their own, but here's mine: I am usually able to get started on my own, but I might need some initial help when starting on a massive project or a new endeavor. I don't need constant supervision, but just help whenever I come to a sticking point and I have tried everything that I can to overcome the obstacle that I'm facing. Most of the time, I am creative enough to come up with a solution by myself, but since I don't have the answers, I turn to people who have EXPERIENCE in whatever I'm dealing with. Although everyone who has their own contributions that they can give, I tend not to get advice from people who are (what I call) skeptics/critics. They tend to dissuade others to their way of thinking even though it might not work. Sometimes, asking for or getting advice from these people is like asking a homeless beggar of the street, "What is the best way to make money?" They might give you a decent answer, "Go to school, get your education", however, for me that isn't enough.

I'm on a quest for specific knowledge.

From experience, I've learned that when people have already had the success that I'm looking for, I can learn a WEALTH of information from them because it is first hand experience. I value learning from others when they have experienced something first hand and can teach it to me without bias and allow me to take from it what would help me most. But I digress...

With this specialized knowledge, although I am already doing well, it will only take ONE sound idea for me to get extreme success in my endeavors. I've seen what learning through immersion has to offer and I KNOW that it is the QUICKEST way to grow and gain experience in a field. The ideas that I'll learn will EASILY pay off in the short term, but will pay off EVEN MORE in the long term. Therefore, I think that I should invest my time where it will pay off for me most in the future.

The cost might be significant at first, but the returns will be immeasurable. Like a farmer, we must spend money on our seeds, but a full grown crop will yield 100 times the cost of the seed. Educating myself in this way is me planting seeds that will yield crops of abundance.

Am I going to go back to college?

From an intuitive, rational, and entrepreneurial standpoint, it wouldn't. Simply put, going back would mean a delay in "harvesting the crops" that are available to me. When opportunity knocks, it is our job to answer. Sometimes, we've got to go against the grain to achieve what we really want. Generally, whenever we do what no one expects us to do, we achieve a result that is far greater than anything expected.

We aim for the impossible to achieve the incredible.

What are the commitments that I'm going to follow through on?

Since I realize the need for massive change in myself, here is what I plan on implementing in my life habit-wise.

I am going to wake up at 5 AM every single morning. Basically put, I know that this is a habit that will make me successful. I'll get more done before Noon than most people do in a day.

I'm going to spend around an hour a day outside. I know that being outdoors, especially in natural sunlight effects me very positively, so I'll do this both for health and mental reasons.

I'm going to keep my bed made whenever I'm not in it and maintain a general sense of organization in my room. In addition, I'm going to clean the *ENTIRE* house since it has been something we've been meaning to do since the day that we moved in here. I know from personal experience that whenever there is physical cleanliness and "clutter" is completely removed, then a great sense of flow comes about in ways that we could never expect.

Everyday, I'm going to either call somebody or write them a letter (No email or facebook; doing this the old fashioned way) saying how much I appreciate them and everything they've done for me. This is just to increase my own gratitude for others, but also to make somebody else's day. I know that there have been many times in my life where my spirits have been uplifted by the kind words of others. I hope to have the same impact on others.

[Ceoarob]

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Everything that I'm doing here is a transformation. I feel like internally, I've always needed to undergo a massive transformation that would essentially rock my world in everyway imaginable, but I've always told myself that I'd do it "later". I always said that I would take action "later" and that I "don't need to change right now". But for me to keep saying that now would be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Everytime I get down, I realize that if I would have started a week/month/year/decade ago that things wouldn't be as bad. I'm not claiming any victim mentality, but I'm just saying this, by starting now and really sticking to what I say I'm going to do, in a year, things will be so much more different than they would have been if I never took action in the first place.

"Our choices are made in a moment, while their consequences can transcend a lifetime"

[TheOptimist]

awesome man - i'm in a similar postition - i will follow your journey and will wirte a few lines later when i have time - by now - i really appreciate your idea and think it's awesome

you'll do it

cheers tom

[Lucidism]

Sounds like quite a detailed plan! Keep us updated.

[Tanja]

I'm sure this will be an excellent experience for you....very inspiring!

Wishing you strength and persistence in your quest!!

[Ceoarob]

Jesus Christ, I've done so much today. Last night, I kept saying to myself that I was going to do "whatever it takes" to follow through on my goals and I did it. I can say with true conviction that I did EVERYTHING in my power today. I didn't have the "perfect" day where everything went my way from sun-up to sundown, but I DID keep going at all costs, I stayed persistent, and I took MASSIVE ACTION.

Today wasn't easy, and it wasn't all that exciting in terms of everything that I did. But I had fun, and I know that I took some steps today that are going to shape the next couple months.

Today, I:

-Woke up at 5 AM
-Visualized from 5-6 AM perhaps the most intense that I ever have in my life, but it the MAIN thing that gave me the fuel today to carry on whenever I felt like giving up
-I ate my breakfast and started on my Master Blueprint for the next 3 months.
-I created a calendar which serves as a visual representation for everything that is going to happen.
-I watered the plants today.
-I stayed outside for about an hour or so
-I read Napoleon Hill's chapter about "Autosuggestion" and kept it in mind all day today.
-I visualized EXTREMELY vividly the amount of money that I desire to have and literally saw it in my possession.
-I took a nap today and woke up the FIRST time that my alarm went off which is honestly the first time in about 6 months or so that I've ever done that. Waking up in the morning is one thing, but waking up after a nap is a lot harder for me usually, but I MADE IT HAPPEN today.
-I rode my bike and enjoyed the outdoors for a bit.
-I wrote a note to my Father explaining everything that has to happen.
-I studied an entire Chapter in Property and Casualty about Homeowners Policy amidst my mental faculties shutting down.
-I had the choice to "have fun" (procrastinate) or do what I KNOW needed to be done, and I chose the latter. It was a subtle choice, but growth is already occurring. My choices make up my destiny and by choosing to do something different that I knew would help me out in the future, that was truly acting through my own intentions on the deepest possible. Subtle, but a very powerful piece of evidence that shows I want this.
-While Playing Moonlight Sonata 1st Movement, I had the most emotional experience ever where I just realized HOW MUCH I want all of this.
-Stayed up ALL the time after my nap
-Got a call from my Dad that said, "This is hapenning"
-Wrote this.

Today really wasn't an "easy" day, but I know that this is essentially me being in the gym. The first day is typically the hardest because all of the muscles are getting worked out. I know that I DEFINITELY stretched my mental muscles today, but I REALLY stretched my emotional muscle for taking action. There were about 20 different times when I just felt like giving up because I had so much to do. I was so ****ing tired, and it just felt as if though I wasn't making any progress, but I KEPT GOING. I persisted till the very end and for that, I am a true warrior.

I KNOW that I will achieve my goals. I don't give a **** anymore about what anyone thinks about the "possibility" of all this happening. All I know is that this IS going to happen. THIS IS HAPPENING. It's just that I get to tell the story about it at the very end.

This is no longer a matter of "if" and no longer a matter of "when" - both of those have already been established - this is simply a matter of "how many ****ing awesome stories am I going to have to tell about how the Universe conspired for my success" or "all the times that I carried on amidst pain and glaring obstacles."

I'm just one step closer to my end goal, and I only know one thing....

This is happening.

[Lucidism]

Sweet! Keep it up.

[luckyJTF7s]

omg! you have got me all fired up, just reading about your day. great start!! RAHH

[ascetic]

Good luck man! This looks good.

[Ceoarob]

Day 2 - Notebook and Analysis.

So today has been a great day overall. Alot done, and I'm definitely looking forward to everything. There has been a MASSIVE internal shift that has occurred in the past two days. Back then, I was extremely passive and not really taking any action towards my goals at all. I was "wishing" that things would be different, not really desiring - and I mean REALLY DESIRING - for them to change.

Whenever I wake up, the first thing on my mind is Bootcamp, but mainly everything that has to do with my personal Legend. I feel as if though I'm being propelled by a force that is greater than me, but it is also me at the same time. I'm pushing past old habits at a quantum rate. While not much change has happened externally (as in things that other people could see), there has been this GREAT internal shift where I'm ON.

Normally, the only time that I feel this "on" is whenever I'm out socializing with friends. I call this State.

So I'm in State for working and getting things done. It's a much different state than the one I was in two days ago...mainly tempermental and pissed of that nothing was happening, but I couldn't look at a list and get things done. Today was like I was in the "Life Gym" and I was building up my emotional muscle for taking action and seeing a list of things that need to get done and getting them done.

I'll say that my nice little Yellow Notebook that I carry with me at all times really helps me for whatever I want to write down at the time. I'm getting ideas all the time and it serves as a wonderful place to put all the ideas down and ACTUALLY look at them at a later point in the day.

This is how ON and in State I feel....I tried to settle down and watch a movie, but that just seemed COMPLETELY too passive, I couldn't get myself to focus on the movie and I just wanted to do something that was related to my path. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I'm not used to it. It's like I just want to get things done MOST of the time. I still have the ability to stop, focus on my breathing, and dilate my focus, but this action muscle is getting stronger.

I improved ALOT since yesterday. I was able to focus on everything ALOT better. I cut out masturbation for the day after I realized that it probably wasn't helping me achieve my goals and was probably just making me even more tired.

I was able to focus today for longer period of times. I COMPLETELY PLOWED through about 4.5 hours of Insurance studying for Property and Casualty which was the longest that I've EVER been able to study it. Normally, I can only do about one chapter a day and I get REALLY disinterested REALLY quickly, but today, I was pretty engaged with the material and I had PHENOMENAL recall when it came time for the practice exams. I especially excelled at Personal Auto Policy today. BEASTED.

I think that ALOT of that might have to do that I pictured myself selling an Auto Policy to a guy that had a Lamborghini and I made a FATTTTT commision off of it. Perhaps that might be why that was my favorite section? I'll play around with that tomorrow J

Everything that follows is STRAIGHT from the Notebook:

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MASSIVE BREAKTHROUGHS ON VISUALIZATION

"Money comes in great abundance"

- I started repeating this to myself and the idea of making websites come to mind. I had always considered this as a possibility, but I had never acted upon it...until now.

"A sound idea rarely comes into awareness unless it is to be acted upon" - quote by me from personal experience. Whenever you're focused, you don't really get non-sense pity party thoughts. For me, the more focused I am, the more my consciousness focuses on making the object of my focus real. Today, since I was pretty much focusing on getting things done and making my dreams real, SOLUTIONS came to me...rock hard, solid solutions to be acted upon.

Website Action Plan

-Talk to dad AFTER I call up the people I needed to talk to

-Find a place for insurance premium templates

- Call up the list oy people, but also write the email to them

- Setup services that I can provide, plans, rates' ect.

- Check cost of doing the things like hosting/domains/ect.

- Google looking at building websites for insurance

- See if any other local businesses want a website built (Ivy Smith?)

- Write down all the benefits of having a website and why every business NEEDS a website (When I did this, this was when I REALLY realized that I could make some serious money by doing this)

- Write down new breakthrough on technology, websites, and the insurance business and my web building business

@ Later in the day.

- This is happening....(I got a call from Dad which basically dissuaded me from waking up at 5 AM even though it has been the MOST productive time of my life everytime that I wake up at 5 AM or even early in the morning for that matter)

- While meditating and relaxing, I asked the negative voice in my head to stop. There felt as if though there was a void and the voice had been scrambled out. Then, immediately afterwards, a positive voice started speaking in my head. This wasn't just a "okay, I'm going to succeed" type positive. But it was a DEEP, RESONANT voice in my head that said all these positive thoughts that not only affected my mind and emotional state, but I could LITERALLY feel everything in my body shift.

Money comes to me in great abundance all the time. I just smile and Thank God for it.

This opportunity comes once in a lifetim, why am I going to do the things that scare me to grow? I KNOW that fear is only in my mind. Most of the things I fear will NEVER happen. I will NOT take "no" for an answer. Fear is nothing but a Paper Tiger, but I don't know that until I face it directly. Therefore, I step up. I succeed.

- I should Reading Genius the Insurance Book. The Faster I read, the better I do...TRUST (And damnnn, this came true today)

- Breakfast at 7 AM

- BLASTED through Personal Auto Policy. Absolutely owned. VERY high recall with Reading Genius.

-Covered some of the Misc Property Also.

@ 10.55 AM

- Getting 70's or so on the teste. Doing VERY well, I just need to read the whole question. Recalling everything superbly.

-Taking nap till 11.45. Getting hungry around this time...
-Literally high whenever I woke up from my nap.
-Not as much time outside as I liked.

-Probably about 4.5 hours today done studying ( A RECORD...considering that a week ago, I was barely even opening the book and I could only study for about 15 mintutes a MAX a day)

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That's just straight from my Written Notebook.

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[Ceoarob]

My Reflection on the Day.

WOW, this has been another crazy day. It doesn't matter which action is taken just that ACTION IS TAKEN. I'm really glad that I was able to do so much today. I think that in the past, I might have been expecting myself to do EVERYTHING at once....achieve ALL my goals, make millions of dollars, ect. all in one day, but I really am seeing that taking a step by step process to doing things is the way to get something as HUGE and MONUMENTAL as what I'm doing right now.

Yesterday, I had a lot of excitement and ideas bursting and that was expected, I usually start all my projects off that way. However, what I DIDN'T expect for me to do today was to actually follow through on day 2. I wouldn't say that my "motivation" increased per se, rather, my persistence increased probably about ten-fold and I just REALLY stepped up. I can say that I truly did. Even though the day isn't over yet, I'm not AS worried as I'd normally be because I know that I have the discipline to do what needs to be done. A couple of days ago, I didn't have this. I could barely get my lazy ass to get up and do something.

I was just living a passive life and HOPING in a wishy-washy way that things would be different. Honestly, back then, I didn't care if everything fell apart. I saw myself slowly pissing away my life - my time, my dreams, my ambitions, and I just didn't care about it. I was letting myself piss away destiny but still unsatisfied at everything.

I know that this sounds like I've "completely changed", but I wouldn't say that ALL my habits have changed, rather, I've just had a self-induced paradigm shift.

I've realize that *Action REALLY is the antidote to despair*.

Every task that I'm doing, it gets me more dead set on accomplishing my goals. Every "no" that I hear just gets me more obstinate that I WILL succeed in what I'm doing.

In life and from personal experience, whenever I hear the "No you *can't* do that" or "No, Alex don't* do that" - I SWEAR that there is a filter that separates everything into two different categories. Whenever I hear someone tell me "No" I either 1) Assess the situation for myself and ask myself "Is there a legitimate threat to my well being? or 2) Is this person just (unintentionally) trying to limit me?

Whenever I get 1, I usually (lol) cease and desist. But whenever I get 2, I literally want to prove the person wrong. It's not in an ego way to PROVE to others that I can, but rather so I can see for myself whether it can be done and IF it is a better way of living, even if slightly.

Today, my Dad called my goals a little "misguided", and I understand his reasoning for that and I completely respect him for it. I know that if he could see what I see and also feel into how strong my heart is, then he would understand a little bit why I'm doing what I'm doing. Yesterday, by setting the plan for myself, I literally did 90% of the work. All the guesswork is out of the picture, it's just me actually doing it.

I already know Who, What, When, Where, and Why. But the How keeps displaying itself WHEN and ONLY when I need it.

**"Whenever I need an answer, it will appear right when I need it. Not a Second later, not a second earlier.**

This is the type of trust that I have in the Universe, others, and myself which is why I'm not too worried about the "How". In my mind, I have a nice How planned out, but I'm open to whatever the Universe has. It probably has a MUCH better plan than mine! haha!

I discover the "How" by taking action and getting things done. I don't think I'll ever be done with my "tasks", but I'm always willing to keep going. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'm willing to go the extra mile, because I know that everything that I'm doing right now is for my purpose. It's something that I truly want to do.

I remember that I woke up last night around 3.30 AM and I was pretty alert and awake, but I was just COMPLETELY marveled at my ability to persist even if I didn't "want" to do something. If I KNEW that I had to do something, at this point in my life since everything is tied to my purpose, I DO it. I realize that not doing it means pain (usually very subtle), but it is pain because it is procrastination.

**Procrastination is the silent killer of success**

But I'm going to write just one more section, and it's about something I'm reluctant to openly acknowledge.

I have a fear that I'll stall out. Not necessarily get burned out, just Stall out. As in all of a sudden, I'm going, I'm going I'm going, and then I stop. It has happened because in the past, I feel that I have "Domino Habits" - meaning that when one falls, they ALL fall, it's only a matter of time. I'm afraid that one day I won't get up at 5 AM and that all will be lost or that all of a sudden I'll view the thing that I want the most in life right now with contempt and scorn.

What do I really have to say about it?

As long as I keep taking action, I'll be in good company. I've been cultivating the characteristic of self-discipline and Persistence. As long as I keep taking action, EVEN WHEN IT GETS HARD, I'll get to where I want to go.

"If you're going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill. Makes me smile, ha!

Domino Habits - Since 80% of success is just showing up, just make sure that I'm keeping my habits in check. Give my best, everyday, everytime. Don't hold back. I KNOW that there is more pain whenever you hold back on something. Whenever I've held back in my life, I've secretly lost. Personally, I would rather die doing something that I believe in (this), than I would living a life that I would consider to be a lie (I'll describe that more tomorrow). I've found something that means something to me. It's not just the destination...I'll get there sometime, I know....but it's the journey. It's the fun that I'm having learning. It's the people that I see in the SuperMarket. It's the friends that I have and get to see. It is the Family that I have that loves me to death. It's all the blessings that I've been given so far - a warm house, a soft bed, FOOD to eat. God, I'm so thankful for everything. You've granted me so much and I feel as if though I haven't even lived my life as much as I should.

Just the gift of being alive and getting to feel alive, being able to do something that I love, being able to work to a higher calling, being able to learn from life itself, being able to have the crazy experiences that I do....this ALONE is worth the price of admission. I thank you God.

Failure - if I don't get something done. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to GET THE **** UP AND KEEP GOING. It doesn't matter how many times I stumble and fall, it matters about how many times I can get up. Fall down 7 times, get up 8.

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I realized that I DO have choice over my actions. I have choice over my attitude and my focus. I might not be able to always control the world around me, but I AM able to control my inner world. I'm willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES. And I promise myself right now....right here, right now, that I'm going to keep going no matter what.

That's all I have to say.

This is happening...

[Matt Willard]

Keep it up, man. I'm rooting for you.

[180]

Curious,

Will you be posting "Blueprint of Alexander the great"?

I'm very interested in this mainly because there are a lot of theories behind his psychological makeup and his almost god like narcissistic pathology that doesn't have too much literature, but plenty of theories. Most of the books I read about Alexander only outline the common themes about his mother and father but never really delve too deeply about the roots of his success.

If you're paper were to cover those areas I'd love to take a look!

[MaryT]

Maan!!
There's not enough people posting to tell you how awesome this is!!!
I'm very happy for you!
The way you write I can tell how you're overflowing with enthusiasm
This is how I write when I talk about dogs so I can totally relate to your "drive" and the passion behind it!
Good luck and keep it up, although you probably won't need that
Much love

[Ceoarob]

I just wanted to say that I greatly appreciate all the love that I'm getting.

Thank to all of you. I hope that each and everyone of you are on your path too doing what makes you turn on the most.

I'll be posting day 3 soon.

Have any of you guys ever felt a burning desire to do something in your life?

If you have, tell me about it because I'm sure that every person has something that they care about as much as life itself.

180: This weekend, I'll check up on Alexander the Great, ha! I can definitely relate to alot of those characteristics

MaryT: I see that you just joined the forum, awesome. Dogs? Interesting, sounds lovely, what do you like so much about them?

[Tanja]

Keep it up!!
I enjoyed reading your posts!

[Iceman]

This is great, keep it up!

[Ceoarob]

Day 3

Interesting day. More lessons learned, as always. More action taken on a Massive Level. I'm typing this on the screened porch and I'm just having the wonderful opportunity to see nature at it's peak. Right now, it's just the perfect temperature, the sun is in my eyes - it's 7.49, so it's a soft sun, the moisture is lovely, there are sounds all around. I'm grateful to be living where I am today.

Last night, the Visualization got even more intense, but today, I was more relaxed than ever. I'm still getting used to "taking action" on such a massive scale right naw that it just thoroughly freaked me out. I could tell that even though it was only Day 3, I was hitting a plateau. Normally, if this were any normal "achievement cycle" that I'd have during the year, I would have hit this plateau somewhere around Day 7 or the middle of Week two or Day 15.

However I pushed through some Massive resistance today just by taking Right Action. I forgot about the concept from Tolle's work, but I can say that this is the FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE in the way I feel now as compared to 4 days ago or maybe even a week or so.

(If you're reading this, you might be wondering why there's such a great difference...it's only been three days....but I feel as if though I've just cut the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and I'm on a fast track right now. I feel COMPLETELY and Radically different than the person that I was two days ago. Why? Because I know what I want in my life, and I'm making EVERY SINGLE EFFORT that I can to make it happen)

There's not much that I have to say in this pre-reflection, so I'm just going to write from my journal here....

Side Note: Waking up at 5 AM has done WONDERS for my productivity.

--------------------------------------------

-Typically, a Viz (visualization) lasts about one hour. There are ALWAYS new details whenever I close my eyes and imagine and it is MUCH more effective than a viz tape. There are ALWAYS new, more in depth details and new insights that come every day. Honestly, if I were to cut this out, it would only be a matter of time before I regressed back into my old habits - this is really what sets the day strong. By vizzing, I REALLY just summon whatever power and courage I have inside myself and bring it to the forefront of whatever I'm doing. Whenever I doubt my capabilities or whether or not I feel as if though I have the strength, I just close my eyes and the strength comes. I'm so thankful for this.

@ After Viz

-REALLY impactful. MUCH more clarity from doing this and I have a MUCH higher increased viz power.

- Whenever I see something WORKING for me, there is much more emotion. For example, whenever I was visualizing holding my licencse for Property and Casualty, I felt some emotion, but I felt ten times GREATER whenever I visualized myself writing some Rich Millionaire a Blanket policy for his mansion, Lamborghini, Ferrarri, 60 foot yacht, etc. The bigger, more exciting, and more creative it is, the greater I feel.

- I've got to see the FULL RESULT and how I'll actually APPLY whatever it is that I'm learning. This is the best way to feel emotion.

(Below are some of the most important lessons that I've learned up to this point.)

- During viz, I realized that EVERYTHING that I do or don't do comes from my desire to do something or my lack of desire to do something. From what I've felt, there's a MAJOR difference between motivation and desire.

- For me, motivation is more fleeting, more temporal, more whimsical. It usually comes at the time for quick action when I have to make a decision that could REALLY change destiny. However, Motivation is just like a rocket boost on the Space Shuttle, you can't fuel it forever. If you don't "break through the Earth's gravitational pull" (aka build momentum for yourself), you just fall back twice as hard.

- Desire, on the other hand is a MUCH more consuming things. It's a lot like Love, but of a thing, idea, or an object. I know that the concept and connotations that come from using that word might be strong, but I'm talking about whenever we find things that resonate with our own hearts, REALLY turns us on, REALLY arouse us, and REALLY make us come alive.

- Desire becomes a physical thing at first. Solely a physical impulse, then it works its way up to the emotional, mental, and spiritual level.

***It literally becomes a part of who you are. It becomes who we are and a part of our identity***

- In my mind, there is a big conflict with Tolle. We shouldn't identify, but desire (love, passion, enthusiasm) feels more natural than apathy, laziness, and not feeling anything.

****The BEST description for what I'm trying to say would be PURPOSE****

- All choices come from two frames: connected to my purpose or not.

- Present vs Not Present would be a Tolle Description of it.

- I'm starting to realize that you can literally live life with your purpose.

- I don't know if we're supposed to be connected to our purposes 24/7, or if we ever should step away and stop thinking about it. But for me, it just grows like a fire everyday. It grows the more that we feed it.

- ** I can't feed my purpose with images alone. I MUST take action - that is the ultimate fuel **

- Like trying to walk through a path without actually doing it!

- Imagination is one thing, but action stimulates the true possibilities that are there for us (For a while, I got caught up in the entire idea that you could just WISH for whatever you wanted and that the Law of Attraction would bring everything there for you.)

- *If you want to succeed, decide what you want, write it down, commit to it 100% (this happens over time), Make a plan. Make it happen *

- I think that commitment build over time. The farther you go, the less likely you are to give up and turn back.

- Like me running a mile, When I start, I'm the MOST likely to turn back. However, every stride I take is one more stride invested. Each stride decreases the chance that I'll turn back and give up.

- Right now, I might be 3% of the way, But I'm ALOT further than 1% and a hell of a lot farther than 0%

- I'm anticipating that by Day 21, certain habits are REALLY going to be on lockdown.

- Even thought it's flowing right now, each day that I continue, that flow, that purpose, and drive are only going to get stronger - it's just like going to the gym.

Website Action Plan

- *Call up list of people to see if they want to buy a website* (I didn't do this just because I stopped early)
- Develop some rates, pump some numbers, see what I need\to da and how much I can charge
- Create a "script"
- Run through it a couple of times in my head
- Call some friends up to chat and get socially warmed up for a bit
- *Create that email that I could use as an "email sales letter" - pump it out and GO!

-Return Damon Dallah
- Cancel Hosting
- Buy Rapidshare Account
- Get David Deangelo

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Above was simply my Journal entry, straight verbatim.

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My EFT List

- Afraid that I'm taking TOO much action
- Fear to Call and "ask for the sale"
- Allowing my sexual desires to take me over
- Feeling like I won't make it
- Feeling "too" focused
- Afraid to invest fully
- Not taking action in subtle ways
- ANY self doubt that I have in my abilities
- NOT feeling my intuition as much as I want
- Fear that by telling my dreams to others, they won't come true.
- **Anticipating a negative response whenever I tell my dreams**
- Afraid that I'm doing too much
- Whatever invisible resistance I have
- Any limiting belief I may or may not be aware of
- Any self-defeating behaviours I may/may not be aware of.
- Not THIKING that it's possible that I can do what I'm going to do
- Getting complacent
- Growing too quickly
- Not being able to rest

"The past does not equal the future"

I tapped on all these issues and it helped. I'm going to calm down with my entire schedule on Saturday, but hopefully some rest will help me out here. Cheers.

I've never worked this hard towards something in my life, and I'm going to keep it up. Going to bed.

[SydneyDave]

This is the most comprehensive plan for personal change I have ever seen. I really hope you succeed because the thought and planning behind this is really amazing. What's EFT? A lot of the items in that list sound like things that go through my mind

[180]

lol sorry I misunderstood your post.

I thought you were writing a thesis on ALexander the Great.

My bad

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by 180

lol sorry I misunderstood your post.

I thought you were writing a thesis on ALexander the Great.

My bad

Hahahahahah, not yet, but I do intend on reading his books and biographies sometime.

[wolfgang]

go dog go!

[Ceoarob]

So it's 1.41 PM, and I desparately tried to take a nap today that was more than one hour just for the sake of my mental health and to calm my mind down and actually relax....

It didn't exactly work, BUT, I did happen to lay in bed, just basically stare at the ceiling and completely let everything free.

Good times. I finally got that "edge" out of me.

I can say that there's definitely a time when Passion turns to Obsession, then maybe turns to paranoia and a little bit of just crankiness, but sleeping helps....it helped me out cause I got to stop thinking for a little bit.

Cheers.

About 4 hours of studying ahead. Finishing the entire book.

UPDATE: Taking my test on Tuesday and on Wednesday. I'll be readjusting the schedules later tonight for my own good. I found that whenever I was visualizing this morning, I REALLY got held on track with the schedules and it reminded me what all I had to do.

Side Note: Speed Reading really comes in handy - Thank you Reading Genius and Ed Strachar

[ahazaq2]

This is REALLY really inspiring. I'm sure it's all gonna work out. =)

Have fun with RSD, my friend

[Obtuse Bruce]

Best of luck on the test...you're going to kill it.

If you stall, just re-read your own words:

"But for me to keep saying that now would be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Everytime I get down, I realize that if I would have started a week/month/year/decade ago that things wouldn't be as bad. I'm not claiming any victim mentality, but I'm just saying this, by starting now and really sticking to what I say I'm going to do, in a year, things will be so much more different than they would have been if I never took action in the first place."

Maximum Effort = Maximum Result.....The End.

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by LovinItAll

Best of luck on the test...you're going to kill it.

If you stall, just re-read your own words:

"But for me to keep saying that now would be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Everytime I get down, I realize that if I would have started a week/month/year/decade ago that things wouldn't be as bad. I'm not claiming any victim mentality, but I'm just saying this, by starting now and really sticking to what I say I'm going to do, in a year, things will be so much more different than they would have been if I never took action in the first place."

Maximum Effort = Maximum Result.....The End.

Thank you so much for putting this up here....

It reminds me why I'm doing this in the first place.

Like, really...from the bottom of my heart.

It's one thing to hear a quote, but it's completely different to hear your own words and promises.

Thanks Sincerely,

-Alexander Robinson.

[Ceoarob]

So I've got some great news.

I've got Repetitive Stress Injury, so I'm out typing for the next two days.

Repetitive strain injury - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Trust and believe that massive action is still being taken.

-AR

PS: All field reports will be typed once I get back.

[Ceoarob]

Since I'm going to be out for a little while, I'm going to give some value to whoever is reading this and this is something I wrote a while back whenever I decided to leave college, I hope that it helps for anything and anyone.

I wrote this on Facebook and most of it still stands strong today.

---------------------

April 2, 2010

--------------------

Before I start really getting into the depth of what I'm writing, I have to ask myself, "What is the purpose of me writing this and what am I trying to convey?" Well, there have been a series of events in my life that have REALLY forced me to step into a new way of thinking and a new way of looking at the world. This completely new mindset about life has forced me to really take a hardcore look at myself and focus on what it is that I *TRULY* want out of my life as opposed to what I *think* that I want.

I'm gonna start this from the beginning.

It all started Friday, January 1st, 2010.

I stepped into the house of Bettye Patton where I was greeted with a warm smile. My assignment for the day was to drive Bettye and 4 other people down to Lanette, Alabama. Intuitively, I felt that today would be a day that I never forget. The night before, I was in a deep meditation about where my life was headed after writing my "New Year's Note" which was a total, comprehensive, in-depth reflection about my life and everything that I've learned in 2009. While deep in my meditation, something said either through words or feeling, "Tomorrow, you shall find what you're looking for".

Now, at the time, I had some short-sighted goals, I just wanted to get some money so that I could go travel and attend some self-development workshops, however, an entire car ride would change my life forever.

As we headed out, Bettye and I started talking about small stuff, location, jobs, etc. and long story short: we struck a STRONG emotional connection with one another after we began sharing our worldviews on life. Through both of the books we've read and our personal experiences, I began to adore this woman and felt a connection to her like no other.

Now about Bettye, she dropped out of high school at the age of 16, worked multiple jobs, and started her own tax-business which files tax returns for a wide range of clients in the Atlanta Area. She was a prime example of how you could get started without a "proper education" (as other people define it) and build a business. The lessons I learned from her are invaluable and I still keep some of them to this day.

On January 2nd, she offered me to come into business with her - once this year was over in college, I could just come with her and start a tax franchise that they wanted to always create. I had the skills they needed, and I was was highly interested in the offer. All my life, I've had a fascination with business. I found the entire concept of taking an idea and turning it into a service that generates value as intriguing and just awesome. I believe that entrepreneurship is the lifeblood of the economy. Without it, people don't have jobs. With it, value is created on the highest social level.

She basically expanded my mind and taught me the important of accepting what your "duty" in life is even though it might not be what others expect from you. She also taught me that any thought, feeling, or impulse you get inside yourself should be considered a "gift" as opposed to anything else - a gift that it pointing you to the real self.

Consequently, I always knew that I'd eventually drop out of college to start my own business. It's something I always wanted to do. However, I just never knew that I'd be doing it so quickly and so soon. Therefore, I replied to her offer saying, "maybe..but most likely not, I want to finish college", even though deep down in my heart it was just screaming "YES!"

Whenever I went back to college that week, although I had a number of significant goals for myself this semester - academically, socially, mentally, etc. - everything changed when started to admit to myself that there was unhappiness under all of the smiles, hugs, and laughter with everyone. Not necessarily depression, just an unfulfillment as if though I felt that I was putting up a false persona at the core. Even though I was a good person and others were telling me that I was a good person too, I just didn't feel as if though I was giving back to the world in the fullest capacity that I felt available. I kept going to classes, meeting new people, enjoying myself at night with friends, etc. but there was an internal incongruency between who I was acting to be and who I really felt myself being.

Everyday, every conversation about how much I "love" college, every time I told someone my plans for the future, and everytime I nodded my head in agreement to something I didn't truly believe it, I felt as if though these two different Alex's were ripping apart internally. I felt like I had this void fighting inside myself of who I was at the moment vs. who I wanted to become. Even though it felt like the world wanted me to be one way, I knew on the absolute deepest level that change would have to occur and that I'd either have to 1) Keep living the life of a lie and pretend to myself that it will get better one day or 2) Accept myself deeply and completely, realize that "it is what it is", listen to what my heart is saying, take my passion, and make it happen.

For the first two months of the year, I chose choice number 1 - keep living the lie and place up a facade.

But here's where the tipping point occurred: One February night, I woke up in a cold sweat and I was just freaking out in my mind. I had one of those nightmares you have as a kid. Except, this was more like a nightmare times 100 + Cocaine and Crystal Meth on the side. I had these dreams of my whole life being a lie. Basically, since the day I stepped into college, I knew I didn't want to be here. On a REALLY deep level, I never really wanted the corporate job, I never wanted those internships, I never wanted to make millions of dollars, I never really wanted to become President of the USA. However, if you would've asked me "Alex, do you want to do XYZ-High Status Occupation?" I would've replied, "Oh hell yeah!" with enthusiasm and ebullience. However, every night that I went to my room and closed my eyes, questions kept popping in my head like, "Am I really living my life like I'm supposed to?" and "Even though I *should* be happy because of everything around me, why do I feel just so down about the future?" and "Am I really being who I'm meant to be?" and even more importantly, "Even though I know that I should do *THIS*, why do I keep doing *THAT*?"

These questions tormented me every single night from January 1st to mid February. Before this time, these questions were always on my mind but they were SO REPRESSED that I would've never admitted them to myself. If someone asked me, "Alex, are you happy?" I'd usually reply "Oh yes J!" with a big smile - however, just things weren't "clicking" inside myself. It was like all my life, I knew I would have to eventually come out to be the person I'm meant to be - I thought that I could find that through getting a college degree, being popular, getting girls, and different vices - some creative outlets of self-expression, others not so much - but I found out that nothing I ever did could "fill me up". When people would say, "Become religious" I never felt internally good about religion. I respect it and those who seek to better others through it, but it just never clicked for me. I do believe that there's something that holds us together that we can't describe in words, but it is not necessarily any special deity, any religion, or any specific belief system. - PAUSE.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: I just wanted to state that this letter is definitely going to raise some hell, flare up some tempers, possibly offend some people, but here's my perspective on writing this. I'm not doing so for your approval or anyone else's, I'm just writing this for self-expression and to gain some clarity in my own life. How you read this is COMPLETELY up to you - some people may view it as an attack on their entire belief structure in "The System".

But some may, and this is what I hope, view it as a recorded experience of how I found some truth in myself, acknowledged it was there, stopped running from my fears, gained awareness of myself and life, and decided to follow my heart as opposed to making a "stupid decision that will ruin my life". I hope by reading this you take the opportunity to step back in your own life, realize parts of yourself that you might have been running from, and take the time to look at them.

You don't necessarily have to take action on them and seek to change your life in a day, but I believe that unless we're living in full truth with ourselves in everything that we do, we have things that we're hiding from and continually running from on a daily basis. By just acknowledging that you have this inside yourself, whether it be a falsehood that you're living, a false image you're portraying in your daily socializing, a belief that you don't fully agree with, a decision that you want to make in your life, or something you've always been wanting to do, then I say that you bring the issue to light and just bring awareness. Awareness alone can create a powerful internal shift that allows us to go from living in fear to living closer to our life's purpose and being who we're meant to be.

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-----------------------------------

[Ceoarob]

As I was saying, I tried everything but it never really satisfied me. The conventional means that others suggested to me just never really clicked with me. People would say, "Do this" and I'd do it, give it everything that I could muster with enthusiasm, but it would maybe have a temporary "glow" which created a burst of happiness, but after the glow started to wear off, I would usually end up just more frustrated than where I was before.

This is the same way in which we seek externally through for happiness. We look for a special person, an object, a number of objects, an event, a college degree, a relationship, a substance, a certain status - whether financial, social, educational, physical, etc. in order to make us happy. However, I always had to ask myself, "Why am I doing all these things if I know they aren't going to lead me to the road I want in the end?"

It was only after I came to the realization from "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. It said the following:

"Most people make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.
They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or,
"One day my partner will understand something and then she will
stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can
do what I really want with my life." The common error is to think
that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They
won't. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to
tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift."

Specifically, it was this statement, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.", that really affected me most. Every night when I closed my eyes, I always imagined myself doing something OTHER than what I was already doing at the time. Most of it would either revolve either around visions of me starting a business, teaching others, playing the piano, being in a band, or doing whatever activity. However, the activity themselves are not what are most important - it is what I thought each activity could DO for me and for others. When I analyzed what was the deeper picture behind everything, I realized that I always wanted to make a change in other people's lives. I wanted to help others break free from their fears and become who they're meant to be.

I always had this vision for myself:

I imagined myself graduating high school, going through college, getting my degree, working for some massive corporation while earning a lot of money, eventually quitting that job, starting my own successful business from scratch, turning it into a Fortune 500 company, becoming a multi-billionaire and ultimately the richest man on the planet, and then giving away all my money to help make the world a better place to live and grow in.

Here's my error: I would've spent years of my life "building up" and ultimately procrastinating to what I felt would be my life purpose - to help others live consciously and grow. While I'm sure that would've been a good thing to do, I could've helped others on a REALLY large international scale (In the way that Bill and Melinda Gates help the world), I realized that ultimately I'd be procrastinating on the most important thing: living my life in the present.

When we look to the future as a means for escape, we allow misery and negative emotions to creep into our lives and ultimately ruin living life in the present. In addition, when we stop viewing life as a Journey and start viewing it as always "trying to arrive at a destination", we start doing things that we intuitively know aren't helping us and are incongruent with the person we're truly trying to be.

Honestly, I thought that I one day, maybe with enough money or with the right girlfriend or enough friends, I would be able to be who I'm meant to be. Basically, I thought that when the circumstances were right, THEN I could start being who I'm meant to be.

** I thought that I could have everything line up, THEN I could do what I wanted, THEN I be who I'm meant to be **

Rather, the cause and effect was just COMPLETELY skewed.

The process is actually "Be --> Do --> Have", not, "Have-- > Do --> Be"

By waiting for the proper circumstances to line up in my life, I was hoping to Have first, then I was going to Do, then I was going to "Be who I'm meant to be."

Now, if you've ever "waited" for the perfect opportunity to come to you, then you know, you'll usually "wait" forever to have the "perfect" circumstances in your life.

However, if you've ever hung out with me, you know that I 1) Like to be adventurous 2) TRUST that things will take care of themselves, and 3) Simply take things one step at a time.

I had to reach a point in my life where I could step out on a leap of faith, accept what was truly in my heart, and just go with it regardless of the circumstances. I could write all the details about what I believe, but I think that would take a REALLY long time. So I'll just give the basics.

What am I going to do with my life?

Instead of finishing college for all my four years, I'm actually going to start a Blog. If you aren't familiar with a blog, it's short for a Web Log which is basically just an Online Journal of thoughts, ideas, etc. You make money from having them and it's pretty easy when you've found the right information and niche. I'm not going to go into details about this, but ask me in person if you want the specifics.

It's going to mainly be focused on self-development, personal growth, and helping people really come into their own. If you've gotten to know me this year, you know that every night, I journal my thought and reflections about the day - some of them have been kinda purely for self-entertainment like "Barcode tonight...Guido...Jersey Shore...buddy and dude" (inside joke to though who get it - BY) but most of them have really been a search for self, me figuring out what is my role not only in my current location, but also in this WORLD.

I hope to really help raise awareness for those who are consciously ready to make changes in their lives and bring their lives "to the next level". I agree that not everyone should follow the path I've taken, but rather, they should find their own internal path and follow what it is their heart tells them. I want to help people find this path and serve as a guide for those on that journey.

Why am I doing this?

I have to really ask myself this on a regular basis. "Why am I going to change my life even though it is so perfect right now? I've got everything that I could ever ask for, why am I going to risk it when I could just play it safe?" I'm sure that on the outside, if someone who firmly believes in college is looking at the decisions that I've made in my life they tend to look in shock and awe and ask questions like, "Oh God...how could you do something like this? Do you know what you're missing out on? How are you going to be successful without a college education? Do you know what you're doing?"

I'm really doing all of this to grow as a person. I know what I'm "missing out" on if I don't continue on the college path, but I know what I'm missing out on if I don't take my life path. In the broad scheme of things - because it is so very aligned with what I've realized about myself, it's the path that I MUST take. The more I explore it, the more I realize that it would have been "inevitable" that I took this path.

People tend to view "bad" events in their lives as disasters, tragedies, and calamities. However, it is through these events in out lives that we grow MOST as human beings. Without challenge and without struggle, we become complacent, we stagnate, and we actually start dying. If we aren't actively growing, then we're dying. But to answer the question, "Why am I doing this?" - it's really all for freedom, self-expression, and growth.

Sometimes you gotta do something that most disagree with. However, I firmly believe that if you're doing something that you believe in with all your heart and you're convicted on all levels, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, then the only person that can stop you is yourself. This goes with ANYTHING in life - and by anything, I truly mean ANYTHING.