The Matrix and The Real World

[rabbitfur]

I am picturing the bleary eyed, fried looking, disenchanted "Neo" character, played by Keanu Reeves, staring lifelessly at his computer monitor in the opening scenes of the fictional film "The Matrix."

Does our use of the internet and use of our computer contribute to our aliveness as a person and enhance our interactions with others and self expression in the real world or take away from it?

Where might you say that your time spent on a computer leaves you as a human being, in your participation in the world off the computer?

[James81]

My participation in social forums (such as this) gives me a litmus by which I can gauge my authenticity. Online I become the truest version of myself and I find that my goal, then, is to sync my real world personality to that authentic personality. In other words, if you meet me offline, you'll find a semi-different persona that you see here. And one of the biggest goals of mine has been to change that...to be as real as I am here in all facets of my life.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

And one of the biggest goals of mine has been to change that...to be as real as I am here in all facets of my life.

James81, in your experience so far, has time spent on-line contributed to closing that gap? and actually measurably contributed to that great goal showing up on the playing field?

It is like a huddle with a coach is only useful and valuable if it shows up later in the playing of the actual game/the real world.

[rei]

i don't consider the people i talk to online to be any less "real" than the people i talk to in person.

internet socializing is a nice option for more introverted people. granted, since i get most of my social needs met online i don't have as much drive to socialize with other people in my afk life, but i don't see that as a problem. and i do still socialize away from the keyboard, but it's nice to be able to get those needs/wants met without going to some location where there are many more people than the ones i'm truly interested in chatting with. it is less that i'm closed to new connections and more that i have fairly high standards about who i let into my circle, in terms of personality as well as energy and consciousness levels. i prefer to socialize with conscious, connected, open-minded, purpose-filled people who own their emotions as well. i would rather socialize online if i had to choose between that and hanging out with unconscious, disconnected, close-minded, purposeless individuals as that wouldn't really fit with my values.

also, being an empath, i like to be able to socialize without picking up the extra vibes that are often floating around in a social hot spot.

i don't personally feel any less connected to life by my internet activities. it's not like i don't know how to talk to people because i type to them. i may be a nerd but i'm not that type of nerd...

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by rei

i don't consider the people i talk to online to be any less "real" than the people i talk to in person....

I think many people see it the way that you do rei.

I was talking to a woman (on line) who was telling me about her three last boyfreinds and problems she had had with them. It was until many more exchanges that she revealed that they were all on line relationships and that she had never met any of them off the computer. Lke yourself, she considered them to be as real as anything in the real world.

In that situation, I take the case that the computer is detrimental and not enhancing her real off-line out in the park, at the movies, on the street, in the bed, on a train, on a plane, in an automoble, in the real world, life.

I told her that she was hiding and living in fantacy land.

[James81]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

James81, in your experience so far, has time spent on-line contributed to closing that gap? and actually measurably contributed to that great goal showing up on the playing field?

It is like a huddle with a coach is only useful and valuable if it shows up later in the playing of the actual game/the real world.

The time online hasn't closed that gap. But my time out in the "field" has closed that gap. The motivation to go to the field comes from my interactions online.

[rei]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

I think many people see it the way that you do rei.

I was talking to a woman (on line) who was telling me about her three last boyfreinds and problems she had had with them. It was until many more exchanges that she revealed that they were all on line relationships and that she had never met any of them off the computer. Lke yourself, she considered them to be as real as anything in the real world.

In that situation, I take the case that the computer is detrimental and not enhancing her real off-line out in the park, at the movies, on the street, in the bed, on a train, on a plane, in an automoble, in the real world, life.

i think it's a matter of degree and a matter of satisfaction. i do leave my house regularly (almost daily), i do connect with people in the non-virtual world (then again, that world is fairly virtual too ). i see my boyfriend regularly and i met him in person.

but if that woman did not see this as a problem, did not see it as detrimental, found it satisfying as an arrangement, then it would be difficult for me to accept the notion that it is detrimental or not 'really satisfying' because it may not fit my own notions of how it is to lead a satisfying life. maybe she has significant social anxiety and at this point, the thought of working through it by interacting in person paralyzes her with fear. otherwise, we could suggest those baby steps, but if such a person's anxiety is that extreme then they are already finding ways to cope. and if they don't feel like they are missing out, or don't feel like they are missing out enough to let that motivate them to go out, then they are less likely to view it as missing out and may even have a positive attitude.

it is about a balance i suppose. and it is about your reasons and motivations for meeting any of your needs online. are your reasons coming from a place of fear (and does that fear feel, subjectively and experientially, too strong to face it with small steps)? or do you have other reasons? will any of those reasons change if you get judged for your existing preferences?

obviously the extremes won't necessarily look very healthy. but not everyone who plugs into life online part of the time is in such an extreme place.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

The motivation to go to the field comes from my interactions online.

James81, has the resulting motivation to go to the field that came from your interactions online, led to more actual "on the field" time?

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by rei

maybe she has significant social anxiety and at this point, the thought of working through it by interacting in person paralyzes her with fear.

For that one person I think it is more a matter of just being born into a cuture that uses computers more and having how she is going about dating occuring as normal for her.

I think kids are more pulled to be in the basement layng on a matress playing Halo or a war game or being on Yahoo Answers then being out in the park having a fight or making out or volunteering or climbing trees with other live people.

[James81]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

James81, has the resulting motivation to go to the field that came from your interactions online, led to more actual "on the field" time?

What?

I'm not sure I understand the question.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

What?

I'm not sure I understand the question.

I was asking, sorry it was unclear (and maybe it still is because I am uncreatively using the exact same words as before)... does your being motivated to be on the field more than you have been before = you actually being on the field more then you have been before?

I am thinking that a person could be "motivated" and stll not have 'on the ground', 'in the world', real, practical, measurable results. Motivation sometimes remains in the realm of feelings and internal states and does not always translate into something "out there".

[James81]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

I was asking, sorry it was unclear (and maybe it still is because I am uncreatively using the exact same words as before)... does your being motivated to be on the field more than you have been before = you actually being on the field more then you have been before?

Oh yeah, absolutely. If it didn't, I would consider it to be a failed method and try something else.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

Oh yeah, absolutely. If it didn't, I would consider it to be a failed method and try something else.

Awesome. That really speaks to the original question, for me. Thank-you.

[Dreamborn]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

Where might you say that your time spent on a computer leaves you as a human being, in your participation in the world off the computer?

I question this quite a bit myself as I am at a computer for 9+hrs a day.

Though it's given me so much freedom to learn, to discover other worlds/cultures, read into things that before were 'hidden' or at least very much out of our reach, get answers to anything and everything fast etc

But, it has desensitized me as well.

To me computers use only 2 of our senses. Sight and hearing. Unless I'm missing out in the lastest scratch n' sniff monitors. We miss out on so much by just living by the machine. Though we can see a beautiful flower captured by an award winning photographer, we cannot smell nor truly feel the flower as we would in real life.

Computers aren't the only culprits of limiting living too. Television, gaming consoles - which now are very much like computers of their own, attached to the world wide web where you talk to real people, but yet you are shielded by the on/off button if things become too much.

It's a love/hate relationship for me with computers. I love the freedom it has given to explore and learn, but it's removed an aspect of 'life' itself from me. I'm working on getting away from it so much, but it's the field I choose to work in, so I've not the answers on how to do that just yet.

[James81]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

Awesome. That really speaks to the original question, for me. Thank-you.

No problemo.

One of the biggest fuels for motivation and dealing with emotion at the moment, for me, is to write.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

No problemo.

One of the biggest fuels for motivation and dealing with emotion at the moment, for me, is to write.

Yeah? Write what?

[James81]

Originally Posted by rabbitfur

Yeah? Write what?

About whatever it is that's bothering, whatever it is that I want to do, etc.

Blogging is immensely satisfying. Forum posts are helpful as well.

[rabbitfur]

Originally Posted by James81

About whatever it is that's bothering, whatever it is that I want to do, etc.

Blogging is immensely satisfying. Forum posts are helpful as well.

Thank-you.

[rabbitfur]

Ain't no sunshine in opinions
It's not warm when I yap away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know

Hey, I ought to leave the www alone,
coz ain't no sunshine in opinions
only darkness everyday.
coz ain't no sunshine in opinions
and this life got no joy
anytime I post away.
anytime I post away
anytime I post away
anytime I post away
anytime I post away


sooooooooo.......

having said that............

my reign of insuferable self-importance is done.

:-)

ta ta you giants

[elucidate]

I have only owned a computer for about 2 years now all up. I deliberately didn't want one because I think that the internet is basically evil in that it can draw people in and they lose themselves in a fantasy land, which can help people who are shy and with social anxiety , depression etc., no doubt...I just think it gives them less incentive to get out and actually learn to interact with real people since they can get so comfortable being online and not having the same pressure on them.

Nothing can replace human interaction though, and I think most people crave this, the more time they spend on a computer.

For me, I have questioned whether I am just another lonely person who is hiding by coming to this forum, but I honestly think I just really love coming here, and socializing with conscious, healthy, motivated people who are interested in living their potential, and I feel like I've made some genuine friendships that I hope last beyond this forum...so, if it's an addiction, I think it's probably the pick of the bunch! This place has helped me re-discover that I can be playful and have fun and not be so serious, that I still have that in me...which is comforting. It's helped me come out of my shell alot and I have grown so much...so that can only be a good thing.

There are far worse things to be addicted to, and I suddenly realised that I am actually much more balanced in the amount of time I spend on the computer with rolling around on the earth after work training in MA and volunteering for an organisation that I believe in which allows me to meet some really great people and provides a wonderful environment which has a certain wholesomeness to it. So, I feel like I have a healthier balance than I had previously given myself credit for...which is nice

Great to just have these epiphanies when I'm actually typing! I need to give myself way more credit than what I have been giving myself prior to this post I think.