Anyone else keep their PD a secret?

[Ebinesos]

I think part of personal development isn't just changing yourself, but changing that which is outside yourself that you feel needs some form of corretion. The political system is a great place to start, but its not where we finish.

Personal development can also come in the form of:
Changing our measurement system to reflect the standards of the rest of the world.

Changing our measure of time to reflect that of nature. The same system of growth and change that the births of all animals takes. Life, like music, makes progression in rhythmic harmony, with steps forward and back.

[Karlil]

I used to keep it to myself because i see people who read self help surely have some problems need solving. it never occur to me at the time that all i was doing was to look for ways to improve myself. I never have problem telling people now.

[C33]

I get amazing results when I keep my P.D actions secret, when I talk about my intentions or try to share my good fortune and positive expectations, I tend to attract the low vibrations of resentment, jealousy, doubt.

I am of the sort of person who is like a sponge and terribly sensitive to other people's vibrations. If I tell my positive intentions to someone, and they have doubts, even if they put a smile on their faces and tell me something positive, I always know that they hold doubts in their hearts.

I choose to carry myself in a self confident and personable manner, knowing that acting self confident brings more self confidence and intending to act like the kind of person I want to be( in a fake it before you make it kinda way). Some people think they ought to make me fall off my positive "pedestal" to their "realistic" ( doubt and fear-filled) level. It's usually people with good intentions who give me advice "for my own good".

Also, I get a lot of energy out being the good listener with positive feedback while the favor is rarely reciprocated on a genuine level.
For example, people might say they wish you well, but their energies and the way they affect your emotions can tell something different.

They can be emotional vampires sucking the life and enjoyment out of the magnificence of your dreams.
Not all of these people intend on having a negative effect but they actually do.If you're into effective truth you go into avoidance mode or refuse to confide in or interact with that sort of people.

I used to spend a lot of energy wondering why some people would be doubting so agressively the success of my goals.Now I use that energy to make them happen.

As a general rule,I don't share anything personal with others until they have proven, through actions and good vibrations, to be positive and supportive.

I think the more proficient you are at being the person who is successful in manifesting her dreams, the easier it might become to have a vibration that actually repels doubts and attracts faith and trust and people who generate such positive feelings.

Personally, I haven't yet reached that level and feel the need to protect my eagle dreams from bear claws.

I do not want to open the door to the parasites that are other people's doubts and fears.

[ladee]

I have been on my PD quest since I was 17, I will be 59 this month. In my case, I have been at it so long that I have become "hyper-aware" as to who I can speak to about these things. I have encountered many that have participated in my growth by thier negativity, name calling, ect. I say they participated in my growth because I had to learn to deal with these things if I was going to continue on this path.
I agree that it is about "reading" who you can say things to, using language that they will understand and relate to, and timing. That to me is part of the rewards of PD. The process has helped me to be kinder to those not interested, to avoid those that simply want to argue, and to be present for those that are interested.
Sometimes we simply need to be who we are, doing what we do, and others will be attracted to what they see and hear. I have learned to use different terms for things that may put some people off. The more I have practiced what I am learning, it helps me to communicate on another level. Because that is after all, some of what we are doing, is it not? Learning how to be present in the world we live in. And sometimes is is simply listening and really hearing. I have learned how to hear what people "aren't saying". Many people have what I call a "word wall". They use so many words to protect their fears, insecurities, ect. that if I only listened to that I would get bogged down in the meaninless of it all. I may not be explaining myself very well, as I have lived this for so long, that putting it into words is sometimes difficult.
But all of you keep on doing what you are doing. We tend to travel unpaved roads at times and those are the most fascinating and wonder filled experiances. And we always seem to find(or be found!) by others just like us.
This is a great thread......

[padawan in training]

Well, my recently-started blog (check mi sig!) is partly a way to deal with this, so I could say I hide my PD interests. Actually, "not talk about it" would be more accurate. I have bounced a few ideas off my brother, but he is one of the smartest, most open-minded people I've ever met (and only 18 years old...odd).

I haven't really given it much thought. I do know I do not like the way "self-help" sounds, and "personal development" is not used in spanish (I'm from Argentina BTW). I guess it's a matter of prejudice.

I do recommend my favorite PD blogs on occasions, but they are usually the "cooler" ones (Raptitude, Zen Habits, etc). I don't think I have linked anyone so Steve's site yet , even though it is probably the single most useful source of PD material I've found to date. He is on top of my link list on my blog, however .

[jeebus]

Originally Posted by C33

I get amazing results when I keep my P.D actions secret, when I talk about my intentions or try to share my good fortune and positive expectations, I tend to attract the low vibrations of resentment, jealousy, doubt.

I am of the sort of person who is like a sponge and terribly sensitive to other people's vibrations. If I tell my positive intentions to someone, and they have doubts, even if they put a smile on their faces and tell me something positive, I always know that they hold doubts in their hearts.

I choose to carry myself in a self confident and personable manner, knowing that acting self confident brings more self confidence and intending to act like the kind of person I want to be( in a fake it before you make it kinda way). Some people think they ought to make me fall off my positive "pedestal" to their "realistic" ( doubt and fear-filled) level. It's usually people with good intentions who give me advice "for my own good".

Also, I get a lot of energy out being the good listener with positive feedback while the favor is rarely reciprocated on a genuine level.
For example, people might say they wish you well, but their energies and the way they affect your emotions can tell something different.

They can be emotional vampires sucking the life and enjoyment out of the magnificence of your dreams.
Not all of these people intend on having a negative effect but they actually do.If you're into effective truth you go into avoidance mode or refuse to confide in or interact with that sort of people.

I used to spend a lot of energy wondering why some people would be doubting so agressively the success of my goals.Now I use that energy to make them happen.

As a general rule,I don't share anything personal with others until they have proven, through actions and good vibrations, to be positive and supportive.

I think the more proficient you are at being the person who is successful in manifesting her dreams, the easier it might become to have a vibration that actually repels doubts and attracts faith and trust and people who generate such positive feelings.

Personally, I haven't yet reached that level and feel the need to protect my eagle dreams from bear claws.

I do not want to open the door to the parasites that are other people's doubts and fears.

wow, I think exactly the same as you

[chipdouglas]

Ok, I know I shouldn't say this in the open, but I'm not from around here I'm from K-Pax.....obviously this is an attempt at a joke

Seriously, though I've only being into PD for a few months....about 5 now. You bet I keep this secret, and why you might ask ? Cause most people when they've had an edge over me, could careless about genuinely helping me, so NOW, looks like the shoe's on the other foot. It's a lot of mental work for anyone to get decent outcomes in the PD department, so I'm not to give away what took me months to learn and integrate to some free loader in college, who will send me packing once he got from my knowledge what it is he wanted in the first place.

I'm sure many here have noticed how often people will come crawling to you when they're experiencing rough times in their lives, but how careless they can be when they're on top of their game--how frustrating !

So now, though I enjoy helping others who genuinely need help, I MAKE SURE they're not the type to turn their back at me once they've gotten out of me what they needed, OR if you will, that they're not going to forget how vulnerable they once were when they sought my help. Many people tend to forget ever so rapidly that they once were in need of help, which you provided them with.

It may sound bitter, but I'm sure many in here can relate.

I'm not a bitter man though. What I related above is experience.

[VIPFaktor]

Originally Posted by chipdouglas

Ok, I know I shouldn't say this in the open, but I'm not from around here I'm from K-Pax.....obviously this is an attempt at a joke

Seriously, though I've only being into PD for a few months....about 5 now. You bet I keep this secret, and why you might ask ? Cause most people when they've had an edge over me, could careless about genuinely helping me, so NOW, looks like the shoe's on the other foot. It's a lot of mental work for anyone to get decent outcomes in the PD department, so I'm not to give away what took me months to learn and integrate to some free loader in college, who will send me packing once he got from my knowledge what it is he wanted in the first place.

I'm sure many here have noticed how often people will come crawling to you when they're experiencing rough times in their lives, but how careless they can be when they're on top of their game--how frustrating !

So now, though I enjoy helping others who genuinely need help, I MAKE SURE they're not the type to turn their back at me once they've gotten out of me what they needed, OR if you will, that they're not going to forget how vulnerable they once were when they sought my help. Many people tend to forget ever so rapidly that they once were in need of help, which you provided them with.

It may sound bitter, but I'm sure many in here can relate.

I'm not a bitter man though. What I related above is experience.

I couldn't agree more with this. I hate such people too, and always try to detect them early and erase them from my life.

--

And, yes, I keep my PD a secret.

[hawkal]

I don't talk much about personal development, although I have shown people some of Steve's articles just to prove a point about a conversation, but a lot of the time people are lazy and can't be bothered to take it in.

Also sometimes I don't like to talk about personal development because there seems to be a stigma around it, like because you're into personal development there must be something wrong with you.

[chipdouglas]

Originally Posted by hawkal

I don't talk much about personal development, although I have shown people some of Steve's articles just to prove a point about a conversation, but a lot of the time people are lazy and can't be bothered to take it in.

Also sometimes I don't like to talk about personal development because there seems to be a stigma around it, like because you're into personal development there must be something wrong with you.

It's my turn to say I couldn't agree more ! You're right on.

[diggyisking]

That is crazy, it is great to improve yourself

Im proud about this, ill read lots of self help books, I even have my own blog that I started, I hope one day to have it turn out as big as StevePavlina: )

[Lohengrin]

I use to do it, but now i dont. I am in a diffrent envoirment, diffrent friends who has respect for constant growth and achievement. If people get stuck up about other people wanting to improve, i personally finds that quite a waste. People can be so stuck up with the cause of determinsm that the reason behind true sucsess is just a myth.

I think improveing yourself should be prioritised as one of the biggest pleasures in life.

[martn]

I think each day brings new opportunities to expand, and the be-discerning-about -who-you-share-important-things concept should not turn into'never'.
Doesn't everyone have topics that set them off and cause a mental shut -down?
Diet talk with my 440lb older brother ? Nah.But, he's mr social and I can learn that from him
Boozy weekend stories with co-workers? They know I quit drinkin' 3 years ago.
All the stories of a 'cute-stuff-my baby/kid/bfriend/gfriend does -I use as listening skill practice with pleasure(I'm single and alone)...

Discussing PD only really works with other PD-oriented people ,in my experience...

[ginkgo]

The more concerned you are about what people think of you, the less happy you will be in this life.

[Charly]

Originally Posted by Yynatago

Also, there is a lot of people out there who are pursuing personal development in one way or another. Any one that diets, starts exercising, watch their spending, pursuing their interests or even seeking advice are all pursuing personal development activities. You're just pursuing it to a greater degree.


Now, I know this post has little to do with hiding the fact that you've become an eagle, but do you really want to keep hiding inside that heavy bear wrap?

Regards,
From Shannan

That is the first thought that crossed my mind. What do you mean by PD?

I don't hide the fact that I've been in karate for 20 years, mostly because at some time or other you have to explain where the occasional black eye comes from, and unless you want to actively lie about it all your life, you might as well say things as they are right away.

And karate is definitely a form of PD, as any sport one gets into on th long term. But unlike most sports, it is one of those that get the kind of reactions you have in mind.

Then there is quitting your job to start a business. I am currently in the process of keeping that an ABSOLUTE secret from friends and family. Now that is worth a post or three all by itself. A very uncomfortable situation when your padre calls and matter-of-factly asks how work is going, and I think to myself I'll just tell them the truth when it has become "safe" enough not to have to take the heat.

Then there's the reading... I read the entire Tuesday Lobsang Rampa when I was 16 or so, and I remember having a night long conversation about that with my roommates in college when I was 20. It wasn't a secret, but it did require special circumstances to come out.

We were all stoned

[Nyx]

I don't discuss my goals and aspirations out of the blue to anyone, although sometimes I am tempted to blurt it out of excitement.

I will share my goals only with people with whom I know I will receive encouragement.

Its a pity, my husband is not the greatest person to encourage me. I have to argue my way to explain why I believe in something. And he will argue with me until sometimes I just give up on what I want to pursue. I guess I am also a bit on the weak side to just give up

So, sometimes I will just journal my ideas down or post it somewhere where I can discuss with like minded people.

I believe that sharing your PD and goals is better when you are confident about it that people will not talk you out of it lol.


Cheers. This is a great read.

[bluedragon]

Anyone else keep their PD a secret?

How can you keep a secret that you want to learn, that you don't want to remain as inexperienced as you are (and we all are, compared to what we can be)? Does anyone keep a secret the fact that they want to be better at their job? Or that they want to learn how to park their car better? Or that they want to become richer? I mean, everything is personal development. Except for laziness and self-pity maybe.

[pjhaggerty]

Not only have I kept it secret, but I believe at some times it is prudent to do so.

Most people aren't ready for personal development. I don't want to upset their reality too much. This is one area where i have to be asked about it first. If somebody else asks me about it or has a clear interest in personal development, I'll discuss these things, otherwise I don't bring it up.

After awhile, however, I hope to find friends who are on a similiar path and start moving towards like minded people. Just for now, my friends help me on my path by solidifying my beliefs and actions if they challenge them.

Remember the old saying 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears?' well, the teacher was there all along giving advice, and the student just rejected him all the time, so the teacher gave up and waited for the student to come around and be ready. In this area, I act like the teacher.

[Chap]

Originally Posted by Henry

I read and listen to things on personal development but I don't tell any of my friends because I don't want to be known as "that guy" who "reads self-help books."

Anyone else keep their personal development under wraps?

You perceive it as being looked down upon, and also it is very personal - as implied in the title. It, like politics, is something that everyone has an opinion on yet few actually study it.

Don't feel bad, and you don't have to let others know, it's about you.

[Iggy K]

I think thats wrong,to keep such important part of yourself a secret,its denying yourself basicly. The point of PD is to expand,not shrink,right? I tell everybody I know all the stuff I m into so they all learn something new and its interesting that I attract kind of people that are into it or just need advice on something

[Beuford]

I don't openly tell people but I do mention some of the topics in it. I am only young, so people my age find it funny that I don't eat white bread. One time I was asked a question and I announced that I was in to personal development in front of a group of people and they all laughed. It's not my secret that I keep to myself and practice only in private, but I don't converse about it regularly because people just don't understand, especially 15-16 year olds who as I said find it weird that I eat wholemeal bread.

[Iggy K]

well ofcourse you cant talk about it with 15year olds,I was still playing with lego`s when I was 15
But I think its really great that you are into it that young!! You will achieve much more by the time you are 20 than most

[mrsmith]

Originally Posted by Henry

I read and listen to things on personal development but I don't tell any of my friends because I don't want to be known as "that guy" who "reads self-help books."

Anyone else keep their personal development under wraps?

I'm proud to be "that guy" who is always looking to make his life better. I don't see the harm in it.

[bluedragon]

Originally Posted by Beuford

I am only young, so people my age find it funny that I don't eat white bread.

That's one of the most ridiculous things I ever heard. Why would they have a problem with that? I understand when someone finds it funny that you are vegan or a raw foodist, but just because you don't eat a certain thing...?

Maybe one day they'll tell you they find it funny you don't torture frogs, or that you don't throw stones in public buses' windows, cause that's what 99% of people should do, in their opinion? Would not throwing stones mean that you are into personal development, which is weird?

[YourHumbleNarrator]

Originally Posted by bluedragon

Maybe one day they'll tell you they find it funny you don't torture frogs, or that you don't throw stones in public buses' windows, cause that's what 99% of people should do, in their opinion? Would not throwing stones mean that you are into personal development, which is weird?

Psh, no. It would mean you were gay. Not, like, homosexual, but... gay! Don't you know anything? God.

[Beuford]

Originally Posted by bluedragon

Maybe one day they'll tell you they find it funny you don't torture frogs, or that you don't throw stones in public buses' windows, cause that's what 99% of people should do, in their opinion? Would not throwing stones mean that you are into personal development, which is weird?

Well I didn't join them when they threw rocks on the roof of people's houses. Sure, waking people up in the middle of the night is one thing, but unconsciously smashing their solar panels is another.

[Kaybee]

Reading this thread sort of reminds me of the smart kids in school who cover up their intelligence for fear of being ridiculed or humiliated.

It's encouraging that so many of you in your early to late twenties have taken to personal development. You are definitely ahead of the pack, because the way you get anywhere in life is to grow personally. Here is something I read my John Maxwell that sticks with me:

Unsuccessful people focus their thinking on survival.
Average people focus their thinking on maintenance.
Successful people focus their thinking on progress.

While I've never hidden my interest in personal growth nor my personal development activities, I do not preach to others about it. I just go with the flow. For me - I'm not happy unless I'm growing so the hell with those who are not growing. They've made their choice and I've made mine.

Lastly, I think it's a shame that anyone feels the need to hide something so positive and favorable. It really says alot about our society.

Kim
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