My decision or parents' ?

[improver]

Hi, I'm 19 and male. I have recently been setting goals, such as Losing 20+ pounds, and when I set that kind of goal, I know I'm consistent and strive to achieve it. The problem here is, when I told my father of that goal, he said that's a non-sense goal, and I must only focus on school-work. He said he never sees me going for something education related, and that I'm only doing things are of no use, or nonsense things. He's talking about wanting to lose weight. I don't know what to do, I probably don't have his support to lose weight since he thinks it's a nonsense goal. What should I do? Should I just abandon trying to achieve the goal just because of parents, or should I do what I think is best for me? Basically my parents think whatever I want to accomplish is of no use and nonsense things, because they want me to only accomplish in college.

[SatvikBeri]

Abandoning self-motivated goals, for goals that you don't care about but are motivated by others, is one of the worst things you can ever do. It is the key to losing passion, becoming miserable, and sinking into deep procrastination. DON'T DO IT!

In the long run, you will probably be much more successful with education if you follow your goals first.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by improver

Hi, I'm 19 and male. I have recently been setting goals, such as Losing 20+ pounds, and when I set that kind of goal, I know I'm consistent and strive to achieve it. The problem here is, when I told my father of that goal, he said that's a non-sense goal, and I must only focus on school-work. He said he never sees me going for something education related, and that I'm only doing things are of no use, or nonsense things. He's talking about wanting to lose weight. I don't know what to do, I probably don't have his support to lose weight since he thinks it's a nonsense goal. What should I do? Should I just abandon trying to achieve the goal just because of parents, or should I do what I think is best for me? Basically my parents think whatever I want to accomplish is of no use and nonsense things, because they want me to only accomplish in college.

Lol!

Imo, it's his goal of you finishing college that is nearly worthless, whereas your personal goal is what you know is important to you.


Do what you want. You may have to take criticism/shouting/hatred from your parents, but in the end, they can't stop you if you don't let yourself be stopped.

(Example from my life: My parents tried to keep a 10pm curfew for me every time I came home from college, even though I was 19 freakin years old. Eventually I just stopped coming home in time for curfew, and every day the next morning they would yell and me and criticize me.

Well, after doing that about 5 times, they just stopped caring. They stopped yelling at me and now any time I am out late they just plain don't really care. They might ask "oh where were you" instead of criticizing and shouting at me.

My advice: If your parents don't give you independence, you have to take it yourself, or you will never get any at all)

[aelle]

Why would you need your father's approval to lose weight? Is he force-feeding you? You are certainly old enough to set your own goals.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by improver

I don't know what to do, I probably don't have his support to lose weight since he thinks it's a nonsense goal.

Well...he may think it is a nonsense goal but if it is important to you, you'll find a way to do it without his support. Do you expect your father's support in everything you plan to do?
I assume you don't have your own money so the only way I see he might have some influence over this goal is if you plan to change your diet significantly and you'd need to buy different types of food.
If he's so interested in educational part ..you can say that losing weight will require some discipline and determination which will also benefit you in other aspects of your life..like education

[ValerieM]

It's hard to just ignore your parents advice since they're the ones who raised you. But as you grow older and you develop your own personality and own deisres, their advice isn't always the best, even if they have good intentions. In your father's case, he just seems to think you're a little kid and just wants to be in control. I'd say this is practice to use your best judgement and follow through on your plans regardless. There will be plenty of unsolicitated and unhelpful advice to contend with, might as well get used to it.

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

(Example from my life: My parents tried to keep a 10pm curfew for me every time I came home from college, even though I was 19 freakin years old. Eventually I just stopped coming home in time for curfew, and every day the next morning they would yell and me and criticize me.

Well, after doing that about 5 times, they just stopped caring. They stopped yelling at me and now any time I am out late they just plain don't really care. They might ask "oh where were you" instead of criticizing and shouting at me.

My advice: If your parents don't give you independence, you have to take it yourself, or you will never get any at all)

I laughed at this example. I've used this tactic plenty of times before without realizing it. It does work! LOL.

[nziller]

You are 19 years old. Don't worry about it. It's your life. I think that losing weight is a great goal. I am 18 and lost around 25 pounds when i was 14 and have kept it off.

Losing weight is really not that time consuming. In an hour a day you can get all the exercise that you need. And you eat anyway. It is your decision. You are an adult now.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by improver

Hi, I'm 19 and male. I have recently been setting goals, such as Losing 20+ pounds, and when I set that kind of goal, I know I'm consistent and strive to achieve it. The problem here is, when I told my father of that goal, he said that's a non-sense goal, and I must only focus on school-work. He said he never sees me going for something education related, and that I'm only doing things are of no use, or nonsense things. He's talking about wanting to lose weight. I don't know what to do, I probably don't have his support to lose weight since he thinks it's a nonsense goal. What should I do? Should I just abandon trying to achieve the goal just because of parents, or should I do what I think is best for me? Basically my parents think whatever I want to accomplish is of no use and nonsense things, because they want me to only accomplish in college.

Hmm,.. Let me ask you this. You said you have been setting goals.
Which is more important? Is it losing your weight or any other goals?If it is losing weight, just google what you need and get to know more about losing weight. Go to nearest gym and tell the trainer about your losing weight and exercise for 1 hour each day.
If your father is against your wish, then convince him by telling that you are going to improve your overall health.Or tell him the consequences of being overweight and how it might affect your college life or life in general. If this is not possible, then buy any books on weight reduction and use it secertly without telling to anyone.

The point is that it is your body. You have to deal with what you want with your life.If you feel that it is important to reduce your weight then just focus on doing it until you achieve it.

[Acting Like Godot]

Losing excess weight and doing well in schoolwork are both worthy goals. Nor are they mutually exclusive. You could pursue both goals.

By the way, you don't need your father's support for a goal like losing weight. And conceptually, the goal is not very complicated either. You already know what you need to do, right? Exercise; eat less; and eat properly.

The rest of it is details and execution.