time management help

[kyup]

Hi, I think I have a problem with time management. I have 2 kids aged 3 and 6, work part time, study and keep actively fit. When I'm doing the things I really love I seem to be able to do them for ever, but I notice that loads of time has passed and the other things such as clean the house etc are still there waiting. I'd love to have a clean house but enjoy my time doing other things too much. They are important things that keep me well and content.

[Cron]

Realize that time management is not about getting everything done. You can't. In 5 minutes you can plan more things.....good things....than you can possibly do.

Time Management is about getting the most important stuff ( to you ) done.

The trick is to make about 10 min for planning every day. Make a list of all you would like to do, but prioritize the list. Things that have the most value to you get a higher priority rating. Try to do all of your higher priority, higher value tasks first.

Then let go, knowing you did the best you could and that you spent your time on the things most important to you.

I would get a copy of HOW TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR TIME AND YOUR LIFE by Alan Lakein. It is one of the first time management books ever written and it is still better than many of the contemporayr ones. It is shorter, you can read it in a weekend. It also has more content despite being shorter and the system is simple.

You can probably get it for about $3 online or for free from your library.

[rene_stpierre]

I agree 100% with Cron.

Did you look at the possibility to delegate the tasks you know need to get done but which are not part of your priorities.

For example, you could hire a house keeper or ask your 6-year old (and your spouse) to help out.

That would free-up even more time for doing the things you love.

René

[nvictor]

++Rene St.Pierre and ++Cron,
that's what is refers as intelligent or smart procastination. As for the kids, can you get any help someone?

[Cron]

I wouldn't call it procrastination. Procrastination is making a decision that something should be done and then delaying doing it.

Setting priorities and doing the most important tasks ( to you ) first is making a decision not to do things of lower value to you.

[kyup]

thankyou for the advice, I guess my problem is I've got the priorities wrong, or at least fun things higher on the list. We can't afford a cleaner. What would be really great would be to wake up in the morning before the kids, that way I'd feel like I'd have that moment to centre myself and maybe do some yoga or something. The problem is the kids always wake up before me and drag me out of bed!

[Isabelle]

You should join FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home

She is my good fairy. She told me to go to bed at decent hour, now, I'm always up before the kids.

She told me to declutter 15 minutes a day. We are not living in chaos anymore.

I learned the power of small routines and babysteps.

I work at home and have 3 wonderful kids. I don't feel overwhelmed anymore.

My house is clean, I know what's for dinner for the whole week, I drink my water, I move everyday even if it's just for a walk, I eat good food, my car is clean, my finances are under control, I don't forget anything (thanks to my calendar and my control journal), the laundry is done everyday (one load a day keeps Mount Washmore away), my sink is shining, I have time and peace, I enjoy Special Date Nights with my husband, I enjoy Family Fun day with my kids, I take care of myself and it is easy then to take care of my sweet darling and babies.

Sometimes, routine seems dull, but I never enjoyed life as much as I do now. When you feel good with yourself, with your family and with your home, life becomes a celebration everyday. No more whining, no more culpability about undone chores. I let go my perfectionnism and now I really agree that housework done incorrectly still blesses the family. I set my timer for 15 minutes and I work in one of my Zones.

From a girl who was not even able to make her bed 2 years ago. Why would I make my bed ? I will have to start over again tomorrow ! (Then, why do laundry, why clean dishes, why dust...) My 3 kids make their bed while they are still in it ! Power of habits !

So, join Flylady and shine your kitchen sink ! This is the beginning of a new life

[kyup]

You sound like a saint, I wish I get my life in order like yours. I will check out the fly lady, thanks. I've decided to drop back on some of my work which is not the best decission financially but better to have less money and be content I feel.

[Isabelle]

A saint ? It may be how I sound, but not how I am. I would not be a member of this forum if I were that perfect !

I quit my job 3 years ago. My husband is working very hard, we have all that we need but just enough. And I don't want more. The peace I have now taking care of my babies and husband, doing my little routines, worth all the money I lost by not working.

Before I found FlyLady, I was feeling depressed, I was always whining, even yelling, getting up late, staying in my pyjama till my husband came back from work, frustrated about having no help from my husband, but doing nothing in the house myself. I was about to divorce ! One morning, I read an article in the newspaper about FlyLady. I went on the website and it woke me up.

I had to change MY own attitude.

Well, maybe it is the Law of attraction, but changing my attitude made my family change its attitude too ! If mom is happy, everyone is !

I had a hard time learning and understanding the Flylady's method. It's simple, but my perfectionism was my problem. I wanted everything to be perfect NOW. My house didn't get dirty in one day, how is it possible to clean it in one day ? It took me a year to declutter, one drawer at the time, one room at the time. I built my routines, one habit at the time. First, just keeping my kitchen sink shiny. Then, making my bed, laying my clothes for tomorrow, etc.

It is a work in progress. Today, I feel like I'm flying. I am proud of myself. It is not perfect and will never be, but it is great, hey, this is life !

But the most important think is that I learned to LOVE myself. And it did not cost me a single dime.

My best friend is working and has 4 kids, she says she will never thank me enough for telling her about my "FlySecret". Same thing with my sisters. It works for anybody, women, men, parents, workers, singles and even kids !

There is only one advice I have to tell you about Flylady's system. Do EVERYTHING she says in the way SHE wants.

Good luck !

[Liara Covert]

Another thing you might consider is to offer a room in your home to a university student who could also help with the kids. For two years, while I finished school, I lived in the basement of a Montreal family home. In exchange for room and board, I assisted with 6 month old twins and a 1+1/2 yr old girl a few hours per day and also babysat some nights and on weekends. For some extra work, I was compensated. It worked out quite well. You can write up a contract or have a word-of-mouth arrangement. The mother of the kids I looked after was a stay-at-home mom and she appreciated that I was able to relieve her periodically. Her husband came home at night, bathed the kids and sometimes put them to bed. We were flexible and worked together. This kind of situation wouldn't work for everyone, but its an option which can be mutually-beneficial. With different colleges in Montreal, you can put up signs on bulleting boards in student unions or contact an off campus job office.

[kyup]

Thanks anyway, it's a good idea but our house isn't big enough to accomodate someone else.