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11-23-2009, 09:22 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 118
 |  Is this belief irrational?
In social situations, I tend not to initiate conversation with people because I believe that it lowers my value. Unless the person shows signs of interests in getting to know me first, then it's easier for me to introduce myself. In a way it levels the playing field when the other person express interests in me first. I just hate being the persuer. This belief doesn't help me in anyway but I can't seem to let go of it. I'm just a normal guy with nothing special so people don't really make an effort to get to know me. I don't have model looks and I'm not popular. I feel like in order for me to make friends and get dates, I have to be the one putting my ego on the line. With the belief that I have above, it's hard for me to put my ego on the line and approach somebody because I don't want to feel like I'm "lower" than the person that I want to get to know. |
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11-23-2009, 09:47 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,044
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WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How would any conversation EVER get started if everyone had that belief!!!!! Where on earth did the belief that to initiate conversation makes you 'lower' come from? Ask yourself this: Who told you that? Who's voice do you hear saying that in your head? What is the evidence for that? Imagine an encounter between yourself and, I dunno, Barak Obama. Who has the 'right' to initiate the conversation - who is the 'higher' status (given your belief that any one human can ever be 'higher' or 'lower' than another - not one I share I have to tell you). As you noticed, it is not something that serves you well. What do you gain from this position of yours? What do you lose from this position of yours? If someone starts a conversation with you, do you think you are better/higher than them? really? |
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11-23-2009, 10:15 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 8,749
| Quote:
The people who approach a lot of people are seen as "high value" in our society. | |
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