Perfection: the death of personal development

[Andrew Gubb]

aelle wrote on the health forums:

I see around me too often that worrying too much about the minutiae of what we eat is likely to create an unhealthy relationship with food. I believe that a toxic relationship with your food, even if the food itself is perfectly healthy, is more damaging than a good relationship with food that may not always be the best choice on a purely nutritional standpoint. Pleasure, happiness and social interaction are serious contributors to your health, too, and overly strict or obsessive food choices may very well hamper these.

I don't think I could have said it better, which is why I wanted to quote her lovely French wisdom to start off this post

Perfectionism: stop it.

I think we often get into a narrow-mindedness when we're looking to improve ourselves where we focus on details (the minutiae of an unimportant task, for instance) and miss the big picture (looking for the right market in which to focus your business efforts). If you want to stress yourself, it's perfectly possible to use every last drop of your energy in running in circles, and suffer while you're at it.

Don't WORRY about being imperfect. I find a better perspective is to aim to be highly effective and imperfect. You'll never control every last detail. But if you find out the most important things to do right now to get the results you most care about, you can take it relatively easy, enjoy the work, and get somewhere. Remember the 80/20 (Pareto) principle: look for the 20% of the work you can do right now that will get you 80% of the results. Until you've done that 20%, you don't need to sweat the rest for the moment. And in fact, you may never need to do more than 20%.

I'm working on earning income right now. I have many ideas and I don't want to limit myself much. Yet I found that one idea was consistently working out for me best, so I decided for the moment to focus on that 20% of the effort that was bringing me the results.

I'm working on marketing my blog. There are many things I can do to increase readership, but I finally decided not to sweat it and just aim to comment on three blogs a day minimum.

I'm trying to improve my health. I tried to go raw, but found it too complicated and difficult. I felt like I'd need to do loads of trials and experiments to get it to work. Seeing as health isn't my priority right now, I decided to focus on eating a lot of sprouts, vegetables and as much raw fruit as I feel comfortable eating. Then the energy I've saved by relaxing my diet I've spent on doing half an hour of exercise and 10 minutes of meditation every day. I was getting perfectionist in my health and missing the 20% that would win me the 80% of results. Right now I feel good in my body and clear in my mind: it was definitely more effective.

Remember being busy isn't the same as being EFFECTIVE. Relax, and focus on what you need to do to make things work!

Love and best wishes for your growth,

Andrew

[CoolBee]

Nice post

There are very few instances where the effort required to attain perfection is justified by the impact - exceptions are probably precision engineering (think O-seals on space shuttles) and brain surgery.

I wrote on here before - as my old PhD supervisor used to say "better 92% right and in than 100% right and never submitted"

20% of effort giving 80% of results is the same as 1% of effort giving 50% of results by the way

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by CoolBee

20% of effort giving 80% of results is the same as 1% of effort giving 50% of results by the way

Go use those math skills somewhere where they will create a better impact!

[CoolBee]

well it wasn't that skilled because if it was I would have written 0.8% of the effort gets 51.2% of the results

[Daffy Duck]

Yep yep. Very good points, Andrew.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

Yep yep. Very good points, Andrew.

Thanks Daffy - or should I say "quack"?

(Bumping the thread! )

[marinik]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Thanks Daffy - or should I say "quack"?

(Bumping the thread! )

Daffy went for a net fast.

As for the thread LLL (LiveLoveLaugh) are my key words. I am a recovering workaholic, an ex perfectionist. Former control well... not freak but almost... so I agree 100% with your OP. And no pics of beautiful women here. Sorry.

[Tanja]

I've also learned to let go of this need for perfection in some areas, I'd be focusing and fussing over details too much, and when I'd finally achieve my goals I just felt a sense of relief that it was over, but not a sense of happiness or contentment. Now I do my best when working on something, however I'm not so strict about the 'how' everything is going to work out! I have my end destination in mind, but I allow myself to get off course sometimes, as long as I get there! (Someone used this analogy before, can't remember who)

Another thing I've noticed is that for some people behind this need for perfection, there's a belief that only if you're perfect you'll get respect/love.

Originally Posted by marinik

And no pics of beautiful women here.

*offtopic* It's enough that we posted here *offtopic*

[marinik]

Originally Posted by Tanja

when I'd finally achieve my goals I just felt a sense of relief that it was over, but not a sense of happiness or contentment.

Need to read the book Happier from Tal Ben-Shaha Amazon.com: Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment (9780071492393): Tal Ben-Shahar: Books, I loved it!

Another thing I've noticed is that for some people behind this need for perfection, there's a belief that only if you're perfect you'll get respect/love.

And control, because if they are not in control it freaks them out!

*offtopic* It's enough that we posted here *offtopic*

Agree again. OMG how many times have I written this???

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by marinik

Need to read the book Happier from Tal Ben-Shaha Amazon.com: Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment (9780071492393): Tal Ben-Shahar: Books, I loved it!

Thanks, I'll check it out!!!