High School - what should I be doing?

[harmonysr]

Hi everyone,

I'm in my junior year of high school right now, but the problem is, I'm not happy. And I don't know how to get there. I'm willing to approach suggestions with a completely open mind, so I'd greatly appreciate any advice.

Why do I feel unhappy right now? I don't have a sense of my purpose, or what I should be doing. I feel like I am trudging through every day with no intention. I don't have a clear sense of what I want, because I don't know what I should want and what I should be working towards.

I'm really good at math. I've placed at the top on many regional and statewide math competitions. But I think intuitively/emotionally so I have a disinclination to applied math, so I can't imagine myself being happy pursuing physics or engineering, etc in college. I'm pretty strong academically. I work really hard in all of my classes so I get good grades, but certain areas such as history simply don't make sense to me, so I have to struggle with it for hours to attain the same level of comprehension my classmates have.

I don't know what I should be focusing on right now. Should I focus more on my math studies because I'm so good at it even though I don't like it? Also, I'm really strong at making personal connections through writing because connecting emotionally with people whom I trust comes very naturally to me and I can express myself very well through written communication (I write very strong personal emails, especially they are deeply emotional.) I have developed a lot of insight through struggling through something in the past year, so I have strong perspective about topics like morality, trust, hard work, forgiveness, etc.

Or should I focus more on social interaction? I'm naturally an introvert and being very outgoing is not something that comes naturally to me. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I have a few good friends -- I'm the kind of person who has a few people that I can tell anything to, rather than a huge group of people I talk about surface stuff with. I'm just really shy. The thing is that I realize that it's very important to be socially capable, so I consciously try to make connections with people, though it's a slow process because small talk doesn't come naturally to me.

I just get so frustrated when I feel like I don't have a clue about what I should be focusing on. I feel like everyday is the same routine: school, athletic practice, homework, chat with one or two friends online, sleep. I don't do anything on the weekends, because I don't have a huge circle of friends. I work really hard academically, but I don't see where that gets me right now. I guess I'm just afraid that I won't know what to do a few years down the road and end up being a complete failure. (As in, not being able to find a job that suits my strengths/that I like, not having any connections and friends who can help me...etc). I know what my strengths are (intuitive thinking/emotional connection on a deep level) but I don't know how to best use them right now, and I don't know what I should be focusing on right now - working really hard on the things that don't come naturally to me, or trying to make the most out of what I'm good at even though I don't see how my strengths help me right now?

I feel like I need to look ahead, and have some idea of what I should do in the immediate and distant future, but I don't know what I should be thinking/ how I should approach my situation/ how to come up with goals or things to focus on. I'd really appreciate any suggestions or experiences.

Thanks for reading, and any ideas/perspective would be greatly appreciated.

[SatvikBeri]

Harmony,

I've totally been there. I was a Math person who had a very hard time with History and hated numerical calculations. I hated high school so much that I planned to drop out. But there's a lot of hope.

One thing you might seriously consider is going to college early. I went to (Bard College at Simon's Rock - The Early College) after sophomore year, they typically accept people after their sophomore or junior years, instead of their senior year.

Another thing you should know is that Math changes a lot after calculus. I don't know if you've studied any Number Theory, but basically Pure Math turns conceptual and logic-based, rather than application and calculation based. It's a very, very different world, and I'd recommend making your decision after you've taken a course like Linear Algebra or Analysis.

Best of luck,
Satvik

[ken nubo]

Don't worry everyone experience teen angst.

Relax. Smoke green stuff if you haven't yet. Drink alcohol. Then expand your mind with good literature -- classic philosophy. Zen Buddhism.

[Kedar]

I'm a freshman in college and here are some things I wish I did...

- Take AP classes or college-level classes that will count as college credit in your college.
- Do NOT take IB classes (international baccalaureate) unless you plan on doing much more work and have harder exams without a lot of them counting as college credit (this is what I did).
- Make more relationships. I sat around with the same friends I always had... Now that I'm in college I have a completely different outlook, but a little practice earlier would have helped. To be honest the more social confidence you have, the better.
- Make it a routine to learn new hobbies. I remember my senior year I had the random urge to learn random things. I learned how to juggle, whistle really well, and I started to breakdance, etc... It can be anything random and fun. It got me going.

I think you should set yourself up well for the future.
And I personally don't recommend smoking "green stuff" or drinking alcohol. It's not my place to say, but I am very satisfied as a freshman in college not doing anything like that. Seeing other people do it was/is enough to convince me not to do that.

[TheEnthusiast]

you just need to get laid


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[harmonysr]

Originally Posted by SatvikBeri

Harmony,

I've totally been there. I was a Math person who had a very hard time with History and hated numerical calculations. I hated high school so much that I planned to drop out. But there's a lot of hope.

One thing you might seriously consider is going to college early. I went to (Bard College at Simon's Rock - The Early College) after sophomore year, they typically accept people after their sophomore or junior years, instead of their senior year.

Another thing you should know is that Math changes a lot after calculus. I don't know if you've studied any Number Theory, but basically Pure Math turns conceptual and logic-based, rather than application and calculation based. It's a very, very different world, and I'd recommend making your decision after you've taken a course like Linear Algebra or Analysis.

Best of luck,
Satvik

Thanks. I'm not going to college early as the preparatory high school I am attending right now is sufficiently academically vigorous, with a wide selection of courses and opportunities.

It's interesting that you mention pure math, because an introduction to various areas of pure math is what got me interested in math in the first place. I took some introductory number theory and combinatorics classes a few years ago - they were a completely different way of thinking about math (not just rote school calculation) and I really liked how they were really intuitive. I'm not sure if I'd want to go into pure math as a career, though -- I'm a very intuitive person and I connect well emotionally so a possibility might be a mental or physical health field, psychology, ayurveda, etc. I'm not sure yet, though!

[minervana]

Why not take an hour out of every day and just think about what you want to do with your life? Don't read, don't surf the web, don't watch tv, don't study, don't shop, just think. Go for a walk if you want. But take that hour and try to imagine what you want your life to be like.

[rosalyvera]

thanks for sharing.

[BrettAshlee]

It's okay to be good (or great) at things like math that you don't necessarily like or want to do for a living. In the long run you will be happier if you pursue a career doing things you enjoy. Since you mention you enjoy connecting with others emotionally and more in a one-on-one environment (introvert), you might look into social work, human services, or counseling. Your ability to communicate well is a plus for these fields.

What you "should" be doing is whatever is right for you. Our schools often teach us to follow socially acceptable plans for success. The problem is, these are other people's visions of success, not your own. Follow your own bliss. If you don't know what that is yet, try a few things along the lines you enjoy.

Even though your high school is "academically vigorous" it may be beneficial to enroll in college courses early. College will challenge you to think in different ways than high school and expose you to new people and ideas that will likely influence your decisions about which direction you want to follow in life.

Learning to become socially adept comes with experience. Keep in mind there are many extroverts who are not socially adept. Once again, though the road may be slow, you communication skills are a great advantage. As you move out into the adult world, study those who do it well.

Above all, remember that life is a process. Very few people know what they want to do for the rest of their life when they are teenagers or young adults. Also, the 21st century world of work leans more toward having several short careers in a lifetime rather than a single career. This is great news because it allows us to continue to grow and learn and refine our careers throughout our lives.