I'm 27. Messed up terribly. Where to now?

[spc802]

Hi guys. I'm pretty much feeling like a failure up until now. I'm just not sure, if I can still pursue my dream of becoming a family practictioner.

Background. I was an average student. 3.5 GPA with honors & AP classes. I know pursuing med. school requires a higher GPA than that. At the time, I was just going through the motions. Go to school, go to college, work, etc. I was the Natl. Honor Society President. In college, same GPA. I withdrew the first semester due to parental separation and eventual divorce back home. That's when I started to just not care about anything.

I was still going to school but didn't care. Went to work. Didn't really care. I was a lifeless zombie. I had no passion. I was just trying to get by. Be there for my brother and my mom. My GPA slipped to around a 2.0 and finally I just stopped going mid semester. I have about 20K of debt in default. Most are way pass the statute of limitations by now. I have about a 2k student loan.

I live with my mom and younger brother. I work in retail. I make about less than 20k/year. My mom has been laid off since last year. Her unemployment will end by the end of November. The responsibility of paying for the mortgage, utilities, food, etc... will be mine. I will need to make about $20,400/yr before taxes. before tax to pay for everything.

Crunching the numbers, I may need to get another job. I also want to go back to school. I've switched schools 3 times. Paying for transcripts from all of them to apply for schools will be expensive. Would any schools even accept me at this point? Is there a way to start over?

Based on the information so far, would anyone be able to offer some insight into the situation? I would like to be able to handle the family's financial responsibilities as well as go back to school. Pursue med. school. What's needed of me? I'm just hoping it's not all too late.

[srujacobs]

Okay, well, I really sympathize with you, it sounds like you are getting pulled in all directions. However, I think each member of your family needs to step up to the plate. This might mean that your younger brother should get a job or your mother should ramp up her job search. Also your mother should consider all of her options--she might even be better off selling the home or somehow negotiating with her mortgage holder.

You are going to have some difficulty going back to school with your loan defaults. I would like to see you on the phone with a loan representative, asking for the chance to either defer those loans because of your low income or to settle on a lower payment plan. Otherwise you are going to have a lot of trouble taking out more loans for undergrad much less medical school.

If you want to be in the medical field, it is important for you to finish your BA. I would suggest you start going to a community college and try hard to get top grades there, then transfer to a four year school after a year or two. You could try applying first thing to a couple community colleges and some four year schools, but with your fall in grades and the cost of four year colleges it might be more realistic to start off at community college. Another thing you could try is to negotiate with your old college to return or to have that last semester stricken from the record. When applying to a new school you're going to have to be careful in your explanation of your fall in grades. It might be best to pass it off as a family emergency (such as your mother losing her job and you needing to earn more money very quickly, thus distracting from your schoolwork).

Will you go to med school? It's not impossible but it will take 110%. You cannot shoulder your family's burdens and expect to make it. You may ultimately decide to pursue a medical career that is not general pract. Time will tell.

You cannot get too mired down. You need to shake yourself out of hibernation, look at your situation realistically, and come up with a plan. The sooner you decide where to apply and look at their requirements the better.

[alekseykravtsun]

you really need to accept situation as it is, your situation is not so bad as thousands other situation around the world. Stick more to the numbers, find your motivator, in my part of world you probably shortly end up with jail with all your property confiscation, hope it's different in yours, but if it's same or close, staying away of jail is a good motivator, then count numbers, you need to make 40k/year before tax, ok, what job can offer that? May be two jobs same time? May be three? I am myself in serious financial situation, so I found my second job and I work from 6am till 21pm, because getting out of troubles is my target. Write your goal to be free of all debts with in a certain period of time on peace of paper and post it in your kitchen, so all your family memebers see that, get them in to work, start with what ever job you can find with in a week, even send your brother working in McDonalds and mom making envelops at home, then push them to grow, and if not find another job and so on. Not sure that you need to get your degree, you are not sound very enthusiastic on your study.

[Writertype]

I am a second year medical student (allopathic, MD) in the United States. I can tell you for sure that medical admissions committees take tough circumstances into account and are willing to forgive some past mistakes if you can prove to them you have moved beyond those mistakes.

A 3.5 GPA would be adequate to get into medical school-- not stellar, but with a solid MCAT score (30-33) and an otherwise good application you would stand very good odds of getting in. Unfortunately you mentioned a 2.0 somewhere. If that is your cumulative GPA, it just has to come up. If you apply with a 2.0 to US MD schools I guarantee you will not receive a single interview. It's just way too low.

Luckily you will have plenty of opportunities to pull that up at a four year college. Medical schools tend to look down on community college credit, so try to get yourself into a four-year school if at all possible and focus totally on doing well with that and enjoying the college experience. I know you might have to work to help pay for it, but remember that if you want to be a doctor school comes first. I agree with the above poster, your family needs to step in to solve some of their own problems. If you spend all your time dealing with their issues you will not be able to handle your own.

As for getting a college to drop grades from a semester, don't bother. You will be applying through the American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS) and they will require all your grades. Check with your premed advisor, but that probably will not fly.

Also look into osteopathic (DO) schools. They tend to be more forgiving of GPA troubles, and if you pull stuff together and do very well in the rest of your college career they might be the way to a family practice career. DOs are legally equivalent to MDs in the United States, and realistically we learn the exact same things. DOs just learn OMM (tissue manipulation) and supposedly more of a focus on holistic medicine in addition to the traditional subjects.

[Hatred4Scammers]

I know you haven't talked about your father in the post. I was just wondering if it was possible you can seek some help from him. Your mum, your younger brother and yourself are in a financial pinch. Perhaps, you can temporarily ask relatives for some help as well?

My family had trouble with finances before and I really despised how my mother would ask her relatives for help. And when I was younger, I really hated whenever other relatives always asked my mother or father for money and they would readily agree. So I understand that it might be something you wish not to do.

Would your mother or younger brother be able to help out with the family finances? The financial problems should not be entirely on your shoulders. It is part of the family after all- especially the house mortgage, utilities and food bills. (You are all sharing and living under one roof together.) Perhaps, your mother can find a job? Your younger brother as well? And you should definitely get a second job as you have suggested. Does your home have extra rooms? Perhaps, you can rent out a room?

Is there anything your family can cut back on? Cable- if no one watches TV? Or use less of? Like electricity? Or if anyone in your family eats out, perhaps you can all try to save money by buying groceries and cooking stuff at home instead? And packing lunches instead of buying them? And if anyone in your family smokes cigarettes or likes buying coffee- perhaps you can cut back on that? Do you have things in your home that are in good condition that you don't need? Perhaps you can sell them? Garage sell? Or sell stuff over the internet?

Maybe you can even try counselling? The divorce of your parents seem to have affected you. It was one of the reasons you stated which caused you to stop caring and lose your passion. And it can help you feel less stressful by talking to someone. Also, I suggest trying either yoga or meditation. It might help.

Best of luck on your life dream.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by spc802

Crunching the numbers, I may need to get another job. I also want to go back to school. I've switched schools 3 times. Paying for transcripts from all of them to apply for schools will be expensive. Would any schools even accept me at this point? Is there a way to start over?

Based on the information so far, would anyone be able to offer some insight into the situation? I would like to be able to handle the family's financial responsibilities as well as go back to school. Pursue med. school. What's needed of me? I'm just hoping it's not all too late.

Wholly cow what a plate your taking on?

I've been there, done that

Umm.. first off you are acknowledging right?? That your trying to do for others here above yourself.. yes?

Because it's really, really hard to do for others.. if you're not getting something for yourself.. most people seem to fail because they take themselves down by allowing there vibration/their self to be less important.. and it ends up crashing.. that's just what I've seen.. and in a way what happened to me.. (in a way)

Alright, here's the most important thing.. if you're going to do this unselfish thing.. make sure that you do it SELFISH.. if you don't take time "out for you".. you have no hope of doing what you just talked about above.. (I know you asked for practical advice.. but spiritual comes first.. k? )

As for practical advice.. I highly suggest.. you look at fixing your problems through LOA (easy one) but more than that.. you need to create a business/enterprise/money by opening up your awareness to new possibilities.. that is the easiest way for you to do the following and be happy.. anything less and your misery is just transformed from "hey, I'm miserable" too.. "hey, I'm miserable for others"

If you really want to be a "Family practitioner" and that is in alignment with your highest excitement.. then there's nothing stopping you.. you can get it done.. anything is possible.. but make sure it is in alignment with your highest excitement.. as you maybe just selling yourself a "ego" sell.. ohh I want to make lots of money as a "family practitioner" but doing the job I think I'd hate it..

[aegis]

spc802,

I assume 3.5 is your HS GPA and your college GPA is 2.0? How many credits do you have?

Obviously, the more credits you have, the more difficult it will be to raise your GPA. Even if you have 60 credits, it's going to take an additional 60 credits at a 4.0 just to raise your GPA to 3.0, which will still not be high enough for medical school. I'd hate to ruin your dreams, but medical school is extremely competitive.

Have you considered switching to nursing instead?

Most community colleges have an AS to RN program. You can transfer your credits in to meet the prerequisites. You may already have the prerequisites anyway as I'm sure you took some science courses. Once you meet the prerequisites, you're put on a one-year waiting list before you're eligible for entry to the program.

During that time, you should get a job as a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant). Check local nursing homes. They're always looking to hire people, and the pay usually ranges from $10-14/hr. There's always plenty of over-time as well.

Once you have the AS and become an RN, you should be have earned enough money to have your debts paid off. Check your local universities and enroll in an RN to BS program. Pursuing a BS while working full-time as an RN is entirely possible given that most nurses work 3-4 days/week. After you finish the BS, you can start looking into graduate school.

Some nurses earn more than MD's, and you can still pursue a Ph.D. in Nursing if you really wanted to.

[songindarkness]

Just thinking: maybe your best course of action would be using all your skills to find a job that you could maybe do that you enjoy now, or makes you more money now? It's never too late for college, but it's also never too late to try and find something in your situation that will be better.

[ProbableReality]

Hello,

You can get to a good place from where you are at. Check out some more positive threads about success and abundance. Don't believe that you are stuck.

You are above average. A parental divorce stopped you in your tracks. I would encourage you to look for a state of being where that cannot happen.

Expect a spiritual enlightenment. Take some time to allow it. Then your career aspirations will fall into place more easily.

Best wishes!