How to get over yourself (advice needed)

[ssandra]

Short backstory:

I got a new client that wants me to prospect some clients for her and make appointments.

It is something that I have done before, I am capable of doing and I actually can be successful at.

Problem here is that I DO NOT want to do it. I really really feel so much resistance for it.

Which leads to prognastination, to general feeling of unhappiness etc.

I cannot just skip this assignment. We need the money. I mean, of course I could not do it. The sky will not fall down and we would survive of course. But we could really really use the money.

I did do some calls yesterday, unfortunately it is not that once I get in the ritm it goes ok. I have to overcome myself for every single call...

I try and talk myself into enthousiasm, which works great. Until I get in front of the computer and do other things instead of what I should do.

I am not scared of calling, I just really really do not want to do it.

My question is: How do I get over myself and just do it??
Or is there another solution (i would like nothing better than to hear that I should not do this, but on the other hand... can I keep running away from everything I do not want to do??)

Any input very very very welcome...

[brendannz]

The only answer I can think of is "just do it' as unhelpful as it sounds.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by ssandra

We need the money.
can I keep running away from everything I do not want to do??)

If I really felt so much resistance and could survive without it I'd drop it.

However, if you need the money and/or want to make it a sort of 'test'' for yourself, eventually you'll have to do it.

Possible solutions: reward yourself after every set of calls
Set aside 30 minutes each day for the calls and do something else for the rest of the day.
Open a thread here, like a 30-day trial, where you'll write each day how many calls you've made.
Focus on something that could benefit you in this process (apart from money of course), something like:how can you improve your phone skills more, how quickly you can end a phone call, etc.

[spirit4711]

How come you don't want to do it?

[Michelle]

Forcing one's self is ugly business indeed.

You said yourself that you could survive without the money. You will be fine. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

Start visualizing the kind of work you actually would like to attract into your life.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

How come you don't want to do it?

Good question... I don´t know really. I generally already don´t like talking on the phone, but I can get over that.

I don´t like selling something. I enjoy the entire process behind sales, I think it is extremely interesting, but I don´t like doing it myself.

The service that I would be selling (recruitment) is something that I am not convinced about.

I don´t like cold calling (which is what I would be doing) because you never know in advance what people are going to say, or are likely to say... I don´t really care about the outcome, or what they will think of me.

When I did this before it didn´t matter if it was a successful call or unsuccessfull... I felt the same afterwards. Happy it was over and wanting to never do it again.

I am guessing, now that I am typing this here... it is a matter of control. I don´t know what is going on on the other side.. I am not in control (or I feel not in control) and that is what is holding me back.

hmmm still the same old control issue... i have to work on that...

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Michelle

You said yourself that you could survive without the money. You will be fine. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

Start visualizing the kind of work you actually would like to attract into your life.

I just had a long conversation with my husband about it and I have decided to let it go and not do it.

A weight has lifted from my shoulders.

I have some interesting prospects lined up for me in Mexico (among other things training in software, which is something I greatly enjoy) and now I feel like I have the mental space to actually go for it.

I feel still sort of bad because I keep running away from things that I don´t want to do. At some point I know this is going to bite me in the ***.

[Michelle]

Another thing to consider is humility.

There is something exceedingly arrogant about a person willing to ignore all their inner warning bells and signals because they insist they know better. I am not necessarily referring to you, by the way - just people in general who insist their heads have it all figured out and that emotions and feelings are really just annoyances which would do good to get out of the way.

The humble, integrous person does what is right even when it is difficult.

It sounds like you are being asked to take a leap of faith.

This is an opportunity for you to develop greater trust in your own intuition.

It is not easy (believe me, I know). Good luck to you.

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I just had a long conversation with my husband about it and I have decided to let it go and not do it.

A weight has lifted from my shoulders.

I have some interesting prospects lined up for me in Mexico (among other things training in software, which is something I greatly enjoy) and now I feel like I have the mental space to actually go for it.

I feel still sort of bad because I keep running away from things that I don´t want to do. At some point I know this is going to bite me in the ***.

I feel better for you too!

Why do you believe this will bite you in the arse?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Michelle

The humble, integrous person does what is right even when it is difficult.

It sounds like you are being asked to take a leap of faith.

This is an opportunity for you to develop greater trust in your own intuition.

It is not easy (believe me, I know). Good luck to you.

The difficulty is knowing when your intuition says something is not right or when your ego is saying it...

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Michelle

I feel better for you too!

Why do you believe this will bite you in the arse?

Because I cannot keep running away from everything difficult. At some point things just have to get done.. I cannot rely on my husband to provide for us forever and ever.. that would not be fair.

In everybodies life there is something that they don´t want to do, but have to do in order to make what they do want to do a success...

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by ssandra

The difficulty is knowing when your intuition says something is not right or when your ego is saying it...

Your ego always wants to lead you toward separation, isolation, lack and fear. It says you aren't good enough, loveable, or worthy.

Your intuition is love-based and seeks to positively connect you with yourself and others. It is joy, abundance, peace and well-being.

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Because I cannot keep running away from everything difficult. At some point things just have to get done.. I cannot rely on my husband to provide for us forever and ever.. that would not be fair.

In everybodies life there is something that they don´t want to do, but have to do in order to make what they do want to do a success...

These are beliefs I would rather not have, to be honest .

Louise Hay has some fabulous affirmations concerning work. Perhaps you should check them out and start forming more positive beliefs surrounding work and success.

Here are a few:

It is my birthright to express myself creatively in ways that are deeply fulfilling to me.

I have fun today.

I look forward with enthusiasm to the adventures of the day.

I learn to love and support myself and others, and my way is made easy.

I love my work. My creativity is joyously fulfilled as I love what I do and the money follows.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Because I cannot keep running away from everything difficult. At some point things just have to get done..

I think when you really find yourself in a situation where there's no other way but for you to get something done, you'll do it.
And I agree with Michelle, trust your intuition more.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by ssandra

...
I feel still sort of bad because I keep running away from things that I don´t want to do. At some point I know this is going to bite me in the ***.

It probably will. Don't worry about it though. Next time you can decide to learn what's to learn about it and then it won't come back.

On a side note: what made you accept the assignment in the first place? If you look at that it may support you to make a better choice (for you) next time.

Now, go and have some fun. NOW!!!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

It probably will. Don't worry about it though. Next time you can decide to learn what's to learn about it and then it won't come back.

yeah... next time... that is what I keep telling myself all the time

It will be ok though... somehow everything will work itself out. And if it doesn´t it will not matter anymore anyway

Originally Posted by spirit4711

On a side note: what made you accept the assignment in the first place? If you look at that it may support you to make a better choice (for you) next time.

The need of money... or my perceived need of money. Every fiber of my being was screaming NOOOOO!!! when in the interview for this assignment.

I will learn to listen next time and safe myself a whole lot of trouble.

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Now, go and have some fun. NOW!!!

Yes sir!!

[Angela]

ssandra, I think there's a big message for you in your resistance. I'd investigate it, if I were you, because I think you're right - it's going to come back again, maybe with more dire consequences, until you get the lesson.

...it is a matter of control. I don´t know what is going on on the other side.. I am not in control (or I feel not in control) and that is what is holding me back.

That's the first place I'd look. (".....and that means that I am ______.")

[The Cloud]

How were you trying to solve the problem of not wanting to do the prospecting? What were you doing to try to convince yourself that it was alright? I ask because it's probably the same response you have to most undesirable tasks, and it doesn't work. Maybe your problem (not wanting to do your work) isn't the problem. Maybe it's how you're trying to solve it that's the problem.