Am I making any real progress?

[The Truth Seeker]

I have borrowed Ben Franklin's plan of self-improvement. In his late teens, Mr. Franklin made a list of 13 qualities he would like to improve on. He then devoted one week to one quality, leaving everything else to chance. He did 4 cycles of 13 weeks in one year (52 weeks=1 year 52/13=4) doing the same 13 qualities. I adopted his plan. However, I have made my own list of 13 qualities. I will describe the ones I have worded on so far and the progress I have made on them.

1) Enthusiasm (8/23-829)-I was supposed to be enthusiastic about school and work for about one week. So, I tried my best to be that way. During the week, a relative said I looked more normal than I usually did. Now, however, after a couple of weeks maybe the enthusiasm has dissappeared.

2) Eating Habits (8-23-8-29)-I was supposed to eat fruits and vegis for breakfast, vegitables for lunch, and eat dinner. I was supposed to eat all 3 everyday. But I didn't eat breakfast at all or eat vegis before lunch. Also, I was supposed to stay away from fast food restaurants. However, I only accomplished the fast food part.

3) Honesty (9/6-9/12)-I was supposed be lie-free for one week. However, this was impossible for me. In 5 days I told 6 lies. However, I stopped lying about my work times. Now, I don't even lie about my work times.

4) Study Discipline (9/12-9/19)-The goal was to study for 8 hours everyday. That resolve did not last very long. However, I did learn something that could help my concentration: study for 15 minutes and take a break for 5 minutes, and then repeat that process over and over again. I learned this on the very last day of the week (9/19).

5) Bible Study (9/20-9/26)-I experienced tremendous improvement this week. Before this week, my relationship with Jesus had been dead for a very long time. However, during this week I had a change in perception about him. Instead of thinking about him as a authoritarian ruler, I thought of him as my friend. This changed my relationship with him for the better. Even though I'm not sure what being a friend to Jesus means yet and I don't study my Bible anymore since this week, this shift has changed my life greatly.
Additionally, during the last 3 years in high school, I was very depressed and lonely. During this week I thought "If I felt this lonely during high school, this must be how God feels about humanity? God must long for human companionship." This is how I experienced my paradigm shift of God. However, this also caused a desire to help others with disabilities who might also be experiencing loneliness. I have acted on this desire by joining a club at my college dedicated to helping people. However, this club only meets monthly. I would like to help people on a weekly basis by volunteering at a local food shelter or something.

6) Exercise (9/27-9-19)- After the Bible Study week my willpower began to go down. I could never get my self to exercise for 30 minutes everyday. However, at my work place there was a presentation about ergonimics. Ergonomics is the science of fitting the job to the worker. Basically, this means establishing guidelines for the job so the job is more safe and efficent for the worker to do. The biggest tip I got from this meeting is that if I can somehow increase the walking in my day to day life (For example, taking the stairs instead of the elevator.), that also can count as exercise. Also, I researched exercise online and have found a couple of tips from an article. I have combined all the tips from the meeting and the article into a program that is designed to be impliminted for 6 days a week for 30 minutes each day. However, I have not done this program at all after this week. But, at college I now take the stairs instead of the elevator. I have just made this change along with other very small changes. Am I making any progress on the exercise part?

7) Courage (10/4-10/10)- This week I was supposed to study downstairs with my aunt and to eat breakfast with my aunt. This may not sound like it needs a lot of courage but for me it does. I don't like to be around her when she criticizes me. I just want to be able to ignore her when I am with her. However, I could not bring myself to go down to be with her. But, during the week after (10/11-10/17) I felt an increase in courage in myself (this was not sufficent to make myself go down and be with her, however).

8) Empathy (10/11-10/17)- The goal for this week is to find a charity I can help out with on a weekly basis and to see my bad relationships from the other person's perspective. Its only been 2 days. I do not expect results to be obtained immediately.

So, from what you have read, am I making any improvements in myself? After the Bible Study week (9/20-9/26) I my will power has been drastically reduced. Also, my aunt has started to complain about me again. This influenced me to further question my improvements. I hope you guys give me feedback on whether I'm making any progress or not.

Thanks,
The Truth Seeker

P.S. Here's a link to the Ben Franklin 13 week plan if anyone wants to learn more about this:
» Father of self-help


You can also use a search engine to find out more information about this plan.

[The Truth Seeker]

How come no one is replying to my post?

[TiffyLove]

I will reply!

Many can answer according to our own percpectives, however that is only OUR perspective.

Do you feel you are making progress?

How will you know this "experiment" you are trying was successful?

You obviously do not stick to what you intend to do 100% but is that truly the goal, its to as you stated "make progress". But only you can decide whether you have made progress.

Do you feel like you have?

Is it a good start? Are you learning from it?

[SimonKincaid]

Hi TruthSeeker

This sounds like a great idea

In my opinion, by carrying out your first cycle of improvement shows that progress in itself.

That's all the feedback you've asked for - there are many other suggestions I (and many others on here) can give - but for the moment well done for attempting to follow in Franklin's footsteps!

[The Truth Seeker]

Thanks to the two posters. I am now facing a new problem: Starting at around week 6 (exercise week), I have experienced a drastic decrease in motivation. Now here's the kicker: I have just been diagnosed with two mental illnesses: schizoid personality disorder and major depressive disorder. Major depressive disorder is a disorder so severe that depression lasts for months or longer. In fact, it is so severe that you do not want to do anything except lie in bed all day long.

People with schizoid personality disorder tend to be unmotivated. So, I'm getting a double dose of unmotivation from both disorders.

Furthermore, I am a major procrastinatior. However, I have discovered a couple of weeks ago that procrastination is also rooted in perfectionism. People with personality disorders have very rigid beliefs about themselves. So, maybe because I have a personality disorder, I am ultra-perfectionistic.

How do I conquer my unmotivation and my perfectionism? Please help!

Schizoid personality disorder - MayoClinic.com
Schizoid personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also, how do I reach out to others to help me? Reaching out is going to be a key component in my recovery.

[The Truth Seeker]

Hello!

[Daffy Duck]

It sounds like you're making some progress, Truth, but probably not at the speed you would like to.

Pump yourself up, man! Post your goals all over the place. Keep them in front of your face. Don't let them slip from your mind. You'll achieve them.

[Ed from PA]

I highly recommend the book The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. It's about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and learning to recognize unhealthy thought patterns.

After 10 years of dealing with depression, this is the only therapy style that has ever helped me. Two years later, I'm off my meds (in a good way) and learning to live life the way it was meant to be lived!

[Jaiysun4]

Hi, I would like to ask if you self-diagnosed, or saw a Doctor and/or Psychoanalyst?

Also, with trying to improve yourself, it can take a lifetime or years or months! So remember that any effort is positive, to make sure you don't unnecessarily condemn yourself (can happen with perfectionism), and to realise that any progress is a stepping stone for future development. And reward yourself.

[The Truth Seeker]

A doctor offically diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by The Truth Seeker

Thanks to the two posters. I am now facing a new problem: Starting at around week 6 (exercise week), I have experienced a drastic decrease in motivation. Now here's the kicker: I have just been diagnosed with two mental illnesses: schizoid personality disorder and major depressive disorder. Major depressive disorder is a disorder so severe that depression lasts for months or longer. In fact, it is so severe that you do not want to do anything except lie in bed all day long.

People with schizoid personality disorder tend to be unmotivated. So, I'm getting a double dose of unmotivation from both disorders.

Furthermore, I am a major procrastinatior. However, I have discovered a couple of weeks ago that procrastination is also rooted in perfectionism. People with personality disorders have very rigid beliefs about themselves. So, maybe because I have a personality disorder, I am ultra-perfectionistic.

How do I conquer my unmotivation and my perfectionism? Please help!

Schizoid personality disorder - MayoClinic.com
Schizoid personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also, how do I reach out to others to help me? Reaching out is going to be a key component in my recovery.

Hi Truth Seeker,

Nice to meet you!

Well my perspective on these diseases is this -

You may well have the symptoms of these diseases. But I don't think the fact that a psychologist has "diagnosed" you with this changes anything. It can be positive to hear that you have a mental disease if you and others have misunderstood you and it stops you being attacked, perhaps, for what is seen as laziness, or something else. But to begin with I don't think it makes sense to be attacked for having such symptoms. Now you can say to others "I'm not just moping around, I have major depressive disorder". Fine, if they'll cut you some flack then. But what does it mean?

I think major depressive disorder is just a fancy way of saying "I get seriously depressed".

I really don't believe in the whole mental disease thing. It's like saying "you're broken; you can now only be fixed by external help". WRONG. You may be very sick, but the responsibility to fix you lays on your shoulders. That includes the responsibility for choosing the best healthcare professional (if any) to advise you, and the responsibility for choosing how much to listen to them (if at all). You need to work out by yourself what works best to make you feel good - whether it's exercise, potatoes, meditation, or absorbing yourself in work - and this will change and evolve. You'll start off feeling pretty much helpless maybe, but bit by bit you'll learn - the more dedication you put into it, the more you'll progress, but maybe they'll be times you seem like you're going nowhere, and maybe there'll be times where you make a massive quantum leap seemingly by no effort of your own............. but the rule is, the more dedication you put into it, in the long run, the more you progress.

Another reason I don't believe in mental diseases is that this whole world is sick. It ****ing is. Just because you're sicker than others doesn't mean that you'll "cure" yourself and suddenly everything will be OK. If you get up to the level of a normal person you still won't be happy or healthy. But normal people don't evolve, because they're too scared to break out of their patterns and prefer their consistent suffering for the risk of going out into the unknown. Maybe you are more sick than a normal person because you'll be forced to take that risk. Once you reach the level of a normal person you'll continue growing, and you'll have learnt how to grow, and you'll have the courage to do it, and you'll know why you need to. That's precious.

I was sick for years, it hurt like torture, and what was worse was the solitude as I rotted away in hospital, I nearly died -- and I wouldn't change my past, you know. We're here to grow and change this god-damn world. Suffering is a small price if we break out of mediocrity.

So you can do this - but only if you have the god-damn courage to say, OK, I have to TAKE THIS INTO MY OWN FU-ING HANDS AND WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I AM PART OF HEAVEN ON EARTH.

Are you interested in doing that, mate?

Tell me! It'll be more powerful if you say it aloud.

Do you want to heal?


Love,

Andrew

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

It sounds like you're making some progress, Truth, but probably not at the speed you would like to.

Pump yourself up, man! Post your goals all over the place. Keep them in front of your face. Don't let them slip from your mind. You'll achieve them.

I like this - get a cork board and post up your goals - I have a board in my new room and I'm going to do it

Andrew

[The Truth Seeker]

I've reciently learned about the power of teamwork. I want to find others like me who want to improve themselves using this 13 week method. However, I doubt anyone has heard about the plan. How do I find someone who's interested in this plan like I am? My purpose for finding a friend like this is to encourage each other, offer each other advice, etc.