Motivating yourself - Stop Worrying - Panicking

[adztheman]

Hi all,

Thank you for taking the time in reading my thread.

The reason I am writing this is because I am very stuck at making big decisions in my life, I am 19 years of age and seem to worry and procrastinate a hell of a lot, I never just go with the flow.

I in the process of deciding to goto University, however bit nervous and worried about the work load and coping with it. I recently left my old job because I too also panicked and stressed out as I couldnt organise myself and tended to get in a worry. This started having a downward spiral effect on my life and started to become unhappy.

I just don't want to carry on this way, I want to find something I enjoy and loose myself in it, and become successful at a job and move up and be able to afford the things we all would love.

I am just fed up of feeling like this having to continously fight myself with my thoughts and somehow go through each day undecided.

I was wondering if anybody could help me or give me some advise on where to go or what to do to improve my situation.

Thanks again.

adztheman

[Remiel]

What do you love?

[Rich H]

You say you want to be able to 'loose yourself in something' which reads to me as you think you need some escapism - total immersion that would mean you didn't worry or get anxious.

I'd say that this was avoiding the core of the problem. If you can start to cope with your feelings then you will be better able to make the right decision with regard to Uni and a career.

It sounds like these feeling haven't been around all that long - can you identfy when they started? It is often hard to pin point an actual event, but roughly when? What was happening in your life around this time? Has there been any changes in your life - even at the periphery? Have other people you know headed off to Uni recently?

Rich

[adztheman]

Hi Rich,

Thanks for your time in writing back. The problem started back in December last year actually just as I was starting a new career in Estate Agency, all my friends were heading off to Uni where I was staying back and trying to make money and maybe work may way up in the industry. During this time pressure got the best of me even if it was nothing particular or big I would tend to panic and get myself in a state, I couldnt control my mind it was like I couldnt deal with anything. After trying to cope with that I left my job because it wasnt healthy for me to carry on like that, I then took a few weeks off and found a temporary job, i seem to love something at first and become really motivated about it, then after a couple of weeks or even months the motivation dies off and i become bored which is very frustrating if I want to find something to stick at for a while.

I then went away for a month travelling this was truly a great experience however finances couldnt support me for very long.

I then came back to Estate agency and the same thing happend it was like deja vu all the problems in the first job came back, I just became really upset couldnt deal with the issues and panicked and therefore couldnt deal with the job anymore, this has really upset me because I am quite ambitious and would love to go far but this is definately pulling me back and something I would want to solve in my life.

Preety much most of my friends are at Uni - this isnt the reason why I have decided why I want to go but I just want to maybe learn more about me and maybe find out what I enjoy as I cant really seem to get that right at the moment. Really frustrating.

Thanks again hope you can help me out on this...

Adz

[adztheman]

Hi Remiel,

I wish I knew, I just can't figure out what I enjoy like I havent done enough to come to that conclusion. Really difficult.

Thanks for the interest of my post.

Regards

Adz

[Rich H]

Adz,

Uni is a fantastic place to learn more about yourself and forumlate ideas about where you want to take your life - I know it had that effect on me. However, whilst it gives you time to conclude, it only defers the thought process you are going through now - hopefully to a time when you are better placed to make that conclusion.

I think regrets are one of the biggest things that hold people back emotionally. You have a decision to make over whether you go to Uni or not. If I were you I would write down all the concequences of going to Uni (good and bad), then do the same for not going. By having it in black and white you can then assess a little more clinically which you will regret the least - will you spend the rest of your life wishing you had gone to Uni, or would the financial cost mean that it just wouldn't work for you? Etc.

Two final points - decisions don't get any easier, you can only make yourself happier with the concequences. And only you can make this decision.

Good look and all the best.

Rich