How can I stop fidgeting?

[harmonysr]

I have this really bad habit: I can't keep still. This doesn't happen if I am preoccupied with something such as washing dishes or doing homework... but if I am sitting in class listening to lecture... I'll start twirling my pen or something... Recently because the weather is really nice my bf and I have been spending lots of time outside talking, but I have a lot of trouble keeping my hands still... like I'll pick at grass or break twigs into small pieces... I can't stop...

It's a nervous habit... I have a lot of anxiety, and there are just times when I can't seem to stop fidgeting, it's almost like a sense of security, that my hands are doing something... I don't know, really.

I really want to stop fidgeting... perhaps my external inability to keep still reflects on a troubled mind? I don't know. I really do want to fidget less... Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

[pschriel]

Hi Harmonysr,

Why do you think fidgeting is a bad thing? If you are not hurting someone, or it is not getting in the way of your social life, why is it a problem?

Lots of people do it. You are not alone. Some people use it for concentration, others just to have something in their hands, something to do. I do it too, sometimes.

If it is really bothering you, and you want to control your anxiety, one way to do this is thru meditation. Meditation is very good at reducing stress. I included a link to my Meditation Article if you want further info.

[ssandra]

I would suggest instead of trying to stop the external sign.. why not try and get a handle on the internal cause (anxiety)?

[brendannz]

I have the same problem, I don't think I can stop it, but I try and channel my energies into art and exercise..

Personally I wouldn't worry about the fidgeting, but worry about the anxiety if you need to.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by harmonysr

I really want to stop fidgeting... perhaps my external inability to keep still reflects on a troubled mind?

I have the same issue, and I think it does reflect a troubled mind. However, I also think that ridding yourself of the harmless habit of fidgeting will not in any way ameliorate your troubled mind. However, if you calm your troubled mind, I bet the fidgeting will go away on its own.

[aggie]

i also fidget...the thing i do most is feet wiggling....someone told me once that a part of my body is moving at all times

i never considered it a problem....got in trouble once in school for "pen clicking" though...

i suppose some of it is from "nervous energy"...but i also have a high metabolism...they say people that fidget, pace, etc. keep their weight down easier too!

[Angela]

I don't see anything inherently wrong with fidgeting, but if it's uncomfortable, try hakalau. It activates a nice receptive alpha state, calms the mind and body and feels really good (with no drugs! )

[harmonysr]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I appreciate the point made that "if fidgeting isn't getting the way, why are you so determined to stop?" I guess I was just so determined to stop because people have commented and it makes me feel self-conscious. I agree it is nervous energy/anxiety. I will focus on trying to better understand where my anxiety comes from and try to reduce it. And thanks for the link, Angela. I tried it, it really does work!

[Shane]

I'm also a bit of a fidgeter. It's not extreme and I've always looked at it as part of my personality. I'm an impatient type and I like to take action, do things myself, etc. Not good at sitting still and doing nothing.

Do you do some sort of regular exercise? You could try exercising very intensely and then see if you still feel "fidgety" afterwards. If not, then perhaps you need some sort of outlet for all your energy. Plus, exercise is good for you anyway.

Another option for class: Instead of randomly fidgeting, practice pen twirling (that's something I used to do). You can learn many ways of twirling a pen through your fingers and it improves your manual dexterity.

Of course, trying to meditate and other methods to calm yourself internally are very good options you should definitely try. I think the commenters above me have already pointed out the most important possibilities there, so I'm not going to get into that as well.

[harmonysr]

Originally Posted by Shane

I'm also a bit of a fidgeter. It's not extreme and I've always looked at it as part of my personality. I'm an impatient type and I like to take action, do things myself, etc. Not good at sitting still and doing nothing.

Do you do some sort of regular exercise? You could try exercising very intensely and then see if you still feel "fidgety" afterwards. If not, then perhaps you need some sort of outlet for all your energy. Plus, exercise is good for you anyway.

Another option for class: Instead of randomly fidgeting, practice pen twirling (that's something I used to do). You can learn many ways of twirling a pen through your fingers and it improves your manual dexterity.

Of course, trying to meditate and other methods to calm yourself internally are very good options you should definitely try. I think the commenters above me have already pointed out the most important possibilities there, so I'm not going to get into that as well.

I used to exercise very intensely for a good 2 hours a day, at the very least. Now that I think about it, I never was very fidgety back then. Right now my life and my emotional state are in a very rough patch and I have not been able to exercise as regularly as I used to, nor am I as upbeat as I used to be. Maybe my excessive fidgeting signals that I need to get back into running and strength training, my most favorite activities...

Oh and as for pen twirling, that is exactly what I do in class. I just get the feeling it is distracting sometimes for others though, because none of my classmates are as restless as I am, so I've tried to do it less. But I agree it's a better option than other types of fidgeting.

[FazK]

My advice would be to learn how to meditate properly and to read the power of now. If you meditate on a regular basis you will find it very easy to become "still" and to enter the now.

BY doing this will will become very relaxed and calm and will find that you fidget far less

[bparry]

I used to fidget all the time in classes, I learnt a lot of fun pen tricks that way but then I found the alexander technique and now my fidgetting has been channeled into postural corrections, its strange but when i'm just sitting there i'll notice if i'm in a comfortable position or not then i'll just kind of correct it until i'm in a position so comfortable i could sit for hours without moving. If you would like to give up fidgetting I guess I could recommend trying something similar but then again its just another way of avoiding the reality and not dealing honestly with the situation which i believe fidgetting is - I'd say the best way to deal with it is to confront that awkward feeling you feel if you arent doing anything in these situations and deal with the emotional stuff that comes up

[alekseykravtsun]

Some time I have similar problem, my hands can't find it's place like during presentation, or I start playing with pen in etc. then I was thinking when and why it happens, as it happen not all the time, my discover was that it occures when I doing smth. uninterested or smth bothering me. In other words, when I am 100% involved in smth. even talking to my wife I am getting above it and no fidgeting occurs. What I would
suggest:
1. Get an idea on puprose of what you doing, like having good win-win conversation with
a lot of fun with your bf and relax and let it happen
2. As Steve Pavlina advise, decide what is the best you can do at this moment, like you sitting in classroom and this is extremely boring, and here it is, your best point to do
is to solve math tasks for tommorow, as a result you have more time in evening for
personal non fidgeting goals and so on.
Believe you have same experience as I did, once you fully involved no fidgeting happen,
no hands looking for smth. to play with