that's it!!(masturbation)

[Aleksander Krstic]

I've had it. No masturbation hereforth even if it kills me.

It is really hurting my hands and I don't want to be like my mom, who damaged her spine because of her work(not hard physical work, just because it's the same moves over and over) and now can't work in the flat without having lots of pain.

I am posting this thread to hold myself accountable or because I'm pissed who knows.

Oh, and btw, jobs are bad for your health.

[FazK]

Hey man you should relax masturbation is as normal as breathing and their is nothing bad about it. If you don't do it more than once a week you should have nothing to feel ashamed about.

[TheColonel]

It's hurting your hands?? What?! Not sure I wanna know..

[aelle]

Originally Posted by TheColonel

It's hurting your hands?? What?! Not sure I wanna know..

Ya know, repetitive strain injuries...

I don't get the point of these "no masturbation" challenges, but if that's what you feel you have to do, good luck!

Erm, FazK, even if he does it more than once a week, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Even if he does it more than once a day, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If he does it more than once an hour, well... if he can afford spending that much time not working he should be really proud!

But really, masturbation and sexual expressions in all their (mutually consensual) forms are to be celebrated, not shamed. Ever.

[straysweeper]

Well, either way I wish him luck. 100% is Impossible for me.

I don't think we are talking a mere few times per week here, or at least short periods of time.

That said, being in a relationship curbs and helps me transform my energy. I've heard Ghandi was said to lay with virgins to raise his energy and transmute it.

If I could transmute my sexual energy, it'd transform reality!

I too feel like current sexual expression through maturation is hurting than helping. It serves no purpose.

[Trezker]

If it's hurting your hands you should really improve your technique.

Stopping masturbation because of hurting hands is like stopping squats and running because of hurting knees. It's not the exercise that's wrong, it's how you do it.

Of course, when something hurts you should take a break for a week or so. But then it is safe to resume training, just remember to change your technique! Masturbation is not as trivial a task as you may think. You can't just brutally jerk until you're finished.

I don't have any tutorials for you though.

[Aleksander Krstic]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

Well, either way I wish him luck. 100% is Impossible for me.

I don't think we are talking a mere few times per week here, or at least short periods of time.

That said, being in a relationship curbs and helps me transform my energy. I've heard Ghandi was said to lay with virgins to raise his energy and transmute it.

If I could transmute my sexual energy, it'd transform reality!

I too feel like current sexual expression through maturation is hurting than helping. It serves no purpose.

You can find ways to transmute your sexual energy in here, I'll do exactly the same exercise. However be warned that it comes with other exercises which have to be done first.

[rocksupreme]

Originally Posted by Aleksander Krstic

It is really hurting my hands...

You could invest in some sort of assistance device.

[Iggy K]

I recomend you find someone to have sex with

[Aleksander Krstic]

It's also one of the reasons my LDs don't last longer than a min.

[rawxstasy]

I don't understand this either. It's like some people want to go back to the 18th century. Are you losing your eyesight to? (it was claimed to that people would go blind from masturbation)

I think this is really about fear of sexuality. Sexual feelings are normal. It is there so we would want to procreate. If you are concerned about how strong your sexuality is - just realize when you get older, like 40's. It will be alot less. Then when you get into your 60's (or later depending on how well you took care of your body) you will probably actually miss the sexual feelings.

Transmuting would be good depending on how you are doing it. ( I didn't look at your link) You might try exercising to release some tension.

[munish]

Taking the evolutionary frame: For most of human history, we lived in small groups, with a maximum size of about 150-200 people (and most groups much smaller than that).

In those groups, the ONLY guys who got any sex with a real-live woman were the alpha-male & his gang. All the other males (80% of the males in the tribe) would typically go without.

Their only form of release would be voyeuristic.

Prehistoric porn basically involved peeking at women from behind the bushes, or watching the alpha-guys have sex with their women.

Bear in mind that if a beta-male tried to get it on with one of the alpha's women, he risked ridicule, death or banishment (a fate worse than death for most of human history). So...

Voyeuristic masturbation served an important function in not only a) relieving the beta's urges but b) keeping him safe by stopping him from making a dangerous move on one of the Alpha's women.

The upshot (ahem) of this?

Every voyeuristic wank REINFORCED HIS BETA STATUS TO HIMSELF.

The habitual use of pornography by guys who aren't "getting any" is an extreme example of this. It reinforces the user's Beta-status in his own perception, then his outward behaviour reflects this.

The long term effect? Habitual porn users may just be selecting themselves out of the gene pool!

To your success!


Source= Natural game by Zan Perrion

[gigij]

Originally Posted by rawxstasy

just realize when you get older, like 40's. It will be alot less.

hahaha - who told you that - they are lying

[cylon]

"Keeping it in" for a guy is a great way to harness energy. It feels really good when you hold it in, your focus becomes sharper, you have natural feel good chemicals coursing through your body, you can achieve lots of your goals because it's like you're on overdrive.

The human mind becomes addicted to orgasm, that's why people rationalize that it's so good for you and that you're weird if you abstain.

Don't listen to these people saying you're weird or abnormal if you choose to abstain. That's their own addiction talking.

Once you detox from orgasm (which takes a couple weeks) you'll feel great, peaceful, on top of the world. It feels fantastic IF you can keep to it and abstain. And this means no porn. And if you have a girlfriend, she may have issues with this.

There are a few catches though: during the period that you are detoxing, you will be thinking about sex ALL THE TIME for long extended periods. This is because your mind is feeling the lack of "high" from the orgasm and wants a fix. Just like a smoker who gets a nicotine fix. So during this period, you just have to be serious about not slipping, otherwise you'll have to start all over. Give it three weeks and see if you feel the difference in the way you think and feel.

The other catch is, you were designed to be with women, and if you aren't taking care of business on your own, your mind and body will conspire against you to put you in the presence of women... it wants that release from a real life, breathing woman. So you may find yourself being much more brave and outgoing around women and not understanding what's going on.

The other catch is, once you orgasm again, you have to start from scratch to get those good feelings back again. This includes orgasm from sex with a girl. Very unlike what you were raised to believe.

And don't feel bad if you can't do it at first... it's an addiction. Sometimes it takes a few times to kick the habit.

This link may be of interest: The Passion Cycle | Reuniting

[Cochonette]

I agree with cylon. Personally, I dislike masturbation. There is really no point in it. It's a waste of time. I have an addictive personality, too, so it's not good if I do it at all. Being addicted to something is awful... you feel intellectually, spiritually like "Let me quit! Let me do something better with my life!" yet you simply cannot do it, cannot control yourself. It's definitely not a mere matter of prudery, if it's that at all. I have in the past been addicted to: video/computer games, food, and girls. I avoid games now like the plague, and I'd do the same for food if I could and I also had a period of avoiding girls (kind of)! I won't say I was ever addicted to masturbation, but I have felt like I couldn't control myself with regard to that. (I also can't stand being around alcohol given what I've seen it do to others.)

So one day I just decided to write it down and reaffirm it each day that I won't do it. I wrote it on my calendar for 30 days that I wouldn't, and it's been going on three weeks now. It DOES feel good not to be doing it. I also went a long period after staying at a monastery free of it and any desire to! Same thing again when I found a girl I was mutually interested in. When I am really happy, I feel totally disinterested in masturbation - all I can do is think about that thing that inspires me.

[JSB]

Originally Posted by munish

In those groups, the ONLY guys who got any sex with a real-live woman were the alpha-male & his gang. All the other males (80% of the males in the tribe) would typically go without.

While this may be accurate for gorillas and chimpanzees (though not bonobos) I don't believe this is accurate for humans. Tribal leaders certainly had more access to women, and first choice of the most desirable women, but most human societies tend to have humans forming long-term pair bonds. Although the lowest-status members may have gone without, the majority would pair up at some point.

[andrew112]

Yes, I say, that IS it! HAHAHAAA!

[Ekb]

anyone heard of the study that frequent masturbation dramatically decreases the likelihood of prostrate cancer?

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Ekb

anyone heard of the study that frequent masturbation dramatically decreases the likelihood of prostrate cancer?

prostate/masturbation facts (at that site, the term karezza means sex without orgasm).

[rawxstasy]

hahaha - who told you that - they are lying

From my own experience and what patients have told me that I have cared for in the hospital. Alot of the nurses I work with that are in their 40's/50's have said their husband's can't get it up anymore. So maybe the OP will be looking forward to that.

I am NOT saying that people can't/shouldn't have sex as they get older. I am saying that sexual sensation decreases as you age. Same as eyesight, hearing etc. It does depend on how well you take care of your body though, how much or how fast the decrease happens.

[supremum]

Originally Posted by munish

Voyeuristic masturbation served an important function in not only a) relieving the beta's urges but b) keeping him safe by stopping him from making a dangerous move on one of the Alpha's women.

The upshot (ahem) of this?

Every voyeuristic wank REINFORCED HIS BETA STATUS TO HIMSELF.

...

The long term effect? Habitual porn users may just be selecting themselves out of the gene pool!

i arrive at the exact same conclusion. it's not about shame, or even guilt, as previous posters accused alek of feeling. i can assure you that as a male this isn't about guilt.

this is about not getting enough. it's about standing in front of a bottomless well and pissing your sexual urges away -- uncontrollably, leaving you less motivated and more capricious in the dating realm. for a shy guy, this is detrimental. they need focus. they need determination.

but with the internet, it's hard to repossess that lost energy. it's just so easy to open a new tab and pull it out nowadays. that's why i recommend NOT going cold turkey. be mindful of your fapping frequency and just slowly decrease it. but don't feel hopeless if you give in every now and then. unlike we like to believe, we hardly have much control over ourselves. but there's always room for improvement.

anyway, yeah, what cochonette and cylon said. i agree with them 100% as well. cochonette's was particularly inspiring to me.

[blossom]

I don't think the poster is quitting due to shame or latent guilt about sexuality. It just sounds like he does it too much and wants to take a break...though I think the fear of ending up like his mother is probably a bit irrational!
It's o.k to take a break if that's what you are feeling, though I don't personally see the point in telling all of us about it...but, thanks for sharing I guess!
I think the comment made by the person who said that if he does it more than once a week then it's a worry... is a worry! That's just the biggest load of dogmatic crap I've ever heard!
The great thing about sexuality is that we can do it as much as we like, with whomever we like, whenever we like...or not! There are no boundaries, and it's unhealthy, IMO, to place restrictions on something as natural as masturbation...unless it is something of an obsession that you compulsively do and cannot stop...then it needs to be looked at, but that's the only scenario I can think of where it needs to be curbed.

[supremum]

Originally Posted by blossom

The great thing about sexuality is that we can do it as much as we like, with whomever we like, whenever we like...or not! There are no boundaries, and it's unhealthy, IMO, to place restrictions on something as natural as masturbation...unless it is something of an obsession that you compulsively do and cannot stop...then it needs to be looked at, but that's the only scenario I can think of where it needs to be curbed.

So there shouldn't be any restrictions on masturbation ... unless you exceed the restrictions. Ok.

Look, masturbation, like cylon said, IS pointless. Think about this transcendentally... you have two possibilities to curb your sexual urge. Without going into much detail, I think you know what they are. Now, is one worth pursuing more than the other, EVEN WITH the extra effort involved? If you answer yes to this, then congratulations you aren't a hopelessly chronic masturbator. Then let's use Kant's categorical imperative to find out which action you are duty-bound to do. Consider that as of now a physical law was created that literally FORCED everyone to cease masturbating and go pursue a sexual partner. It this a world you would rather live in? Other than having a few very desperate souls out there, I say all-in-all yes. If you also concede, then by Kantian ethics you are duty-bound to cease masturbating immediately and completely and go find yourself a girlfriend.

[blossom]

It's only your OPPINION that it's pointless! Since when did your oppinion become an absolute law for the rest of us?
And by the way, if you are going to pick apart what I say in my comments AND put words into my mouth, at least read them correctly. I was simply stating that if someone is chronically and compulsively masturbating then it probably isn't healthy...but that has nothing to do with the restriction that ANOTHER poster placed on the original poster, claiming that a person SHOULD only do it once a week!

[Aleksander Krstic]

Nah, I don't believe in moral laws, especially not in strict as Kant's.

[aelle]

Okay, are any of the posters in this thread female? From this discussion, I am lead to believe there is this huge divide between male and female sexuality, especially when it comes to masturbation. To me it sounds like you guys are speaking a foreign language.

There is nothing about my sexuality that feels like an addiction and nothing about orgasms that feel like a waste of unfocussed energy.
If anything, acknowledging my fluctuations of desire and of masturbation frequency with my cycle and with the seasons is another way of reconnecting with my body, with my natural needs and my health. In my experience, it's another way of paying attention to and respecting my body, and these always lead to more harmony and health.
Does any of this ring a bell with you guys? What do you think?

[Aleksander Krstic]

Passed day one! I'm much more motivated than usually and it's a lot easier as well. Btw, my record is 7 days, aiming for 30 this time.

However, my motivation comes from my hands hurting(which is a little, btw) so I'll have to skip your advice, guys(and girls ).

[cylon]

Originally Posted by aelle

From this discussion, I am lead to believe there is this huge divide between male and female sexuality

That's (usually) how it works. If our sexuality was the same there would be less sex in the world, and less babies.

[jubbins]

Originally Posted by cylon

That's (usually) how it works. If our sexuality was the same there would be less sex in the world, and less babies.

Are you saying that women have less desire or motivation for sexual encounters? Is that perhaps something that is shaped in part by society's views on appropriate behavior for men and women? Men in general, it seems, are expected to need/want sex all the time and women are expected to have a lesser need/want. Women who have a greater sexual appetite are many times perceived in negative terms where as it is just the opposite for men. I think in reality there isn't as huge a divide as it may seem. We are all sexual beings.

[cylon]

No, what I said was pretty clear. Men and women have different sexual impulses because we are different sexes. Doesn't mean one has more or less, just that they are different.