Overcoming extreme laziness

[seeker5]

For the past week, I've been staying in a state of extreme laziness. I had a lot of bad association with being lazy such as feeling that if I was being lazy,I would feel very gloom and doomy. But after overcoming this association, I've been extremely lazy without feeling correspondingly bad. I've just been emotionally "ok". So, I've been playing a lot of computer games, watching star trek episodes, etc. At the same time I've been almost completely neglecting my school work, household maintenance, paying my bills, important project, personal development, etc.

I need a serious kick in the butt. Any advice?

[Remiel]

Don't kick yourself too hard? All I know is that for myself I usually hit periods of extreme burnout the week or two after I do too much and deprive myself of too much fun. Probably not your problem though, is it?

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Remiel

Don't kick yourself too hard? All I know is that for myself I usually hit periods of extreme burnout the week or two after I do too much and deprive myself of too much fun. Probably not your problem though, is it?

Nope, I've had nothing to be burn-out about. I haven't really done much the last few months.

[Cochonette]

I'm in a similar situation, seeker. I don't know the answer... I have been reading lots of articles on self-discipline and whatever else there is, but I am kind of in a pickle right now...

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

I'm in a similar situation, seeker. I don't know the answer... I have been reading lots of articles on self-discipline and whatever else there is, but I am kind of in a pickle right now...

Actually that is the answer - self-discipline. You can't allow yourself to get into a rut.

If what you think is laziness is not actually fatigue, vitamin deficiency or the like, then it's question of getting yourself into gear and doing what has to be done. It's being accountable and responsible for doing what you have to do. We all get a little slack every now and then, but that should be the exception, not an ongoing trend.

Here's a recent article I wrote about self-discipline: Self-Discipline The Foundation For Success.

I hope it helps!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

Actually that is the answer - self-discipline. You can't allow yourself to get into a rut.

Well, I'm already in a rut right now.

I disagree with the first line of your article: "No personal success, achievement or goal can be realized without self-discipline." Self-discipline isn't required for every single personal success, achievement, or goal.

I think I saw somewhere about how when someone is in apathy, the way to get them out of it is to stir up some pain. So, if extreme laziness is similar to apathy, maybe I need to stir up some pain in me?

[Angela]

Fear is the next step up -- do something that scares you.

[straysweeper]

I haven't solved this myself but perhaps I know somethings that apply?

AR's material comes to mind first. Is it just me or does laziness reminds you of complacency? As well as impotent goals? I mean, your not doing the things that have given you the results you now enjoy. Does that sound intelligent? Remember what forums we are on!

Perhaps its time to take a look at your visions and see if they are still moving you, and then tweak them. My notes show that the ways to break through it are to look at not at what your getting but whom your becoming. Also, to judge yourself via achieve your goals. Again with associating with your vision, and your outcomes. Though, this only works if your mostly motivated by pain. Then motivating yourself by pain of not doing these things, rather than the pain of being lazy, might just work. Trick here seems to be internalizing it rather than merely intellectualizing it.

That being my first thoughts, if that doesn't work for you perhaps your hitting some wall in your consciousness. I wonder if this might be part of a cycle with you? I notice the first thing you mentioned in neglecting is your school work.

I've one more AR tidbit, about Masters find ways to love the fundamentals because its based on them that everything else is built.

Hope this helps seeker!

[FazK]

Laziness is just a bad habit all i can say is BREAK THE HABIT it really is that easy just don't be lazy after a while you will have changed yourself. This may sound simplistic but it really is the only way to do it. When i look back at how lazy i was five years ago i really am disgusted at myself, but it shows that you can get better if you put your mind to it. Laziness is just lack of self discipline i really recommend that you read steve's series on self discipline

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

Fear is the next step up -- do something that scares you.

Really?

I did something that really scared me almost a week ago. I overcame the fear, had a really great and wonderful time and then I went straight to being lazy for the whole week.

Originally Posted by straysweeper

AR's material comes to mind first. Is it just me or does laziness reminds you of complacency? As well as impotent goals? I mean, your not doing the things that have given you the results you now enjoy.

Well, I have some goals that really excite me (when I'm not being lazy), that I'd really love to achieve. But when I'm in this state, it's like, bleh, I don't feel like working on them, I'll put it off.

Perhaps its time to take a look at your visions and see if they are still moving you, and then tweak them. My notes show that the ways to break through it are to look at not at what your getting but whom your becoming. Also, to judge yourself via achieve your goals. Again with associating with your vision, and your outcomewhes. Though, this only works if your mostly motivated by pain. Then motivating yourself by pain of not doing these things, rather than the pain of being lazy, might just work. Trick here seems to be internalizing it rather than merely intellectualizing it.

Thanks for the reminder. It probably would help a lot to reconnect with my goals and vision deeper. That's what I was suggested actually a few days ago by a friend. I meant to do it. I've just have been procrastinating on doing that too.

That being my first thoughts, if that doesn't work for you perhaps your hitting some wall in your consciousness. I wonder if this might be part of a cycle with you? I notice the first thing you mentioned in neglecting is your school work.

I dunno. I've spent a lot of time in my past feeling impotently lazy like this. The difference is that I used to feel pain, so I'd be driven to get out of it and I'd keep having cycles going back and forth between being lazy and making progress. I took the pain out of being lazy though a week ago, so this is kinda new, being lazy without feeling doomed (yet).

Originally Posted by FazK

Laziness is just a bad habit all i can say is BREAK THE HABIT it really is that easy just don't be lazy after a while you will have changed yourself. This may sound simplistic but it really is the only way to do it. When i look back at how lazy i was five years ago i really am disgusted at myself, but it shows that you can get better if you put your mind to it. Laziness is just lack of self discipline i really recommend that you read steve's series on self discipline

I have read Steve's series in the past, and right now, forcing myself to do things out of self-discipline doesn't seem enticing or appealing at all.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Really?

I did something that really scared me almost a week ago. I overcame the fear, had a really great and wonderful time and then I went straight to being lazy for the whole week..

Well, fear is the next step up from apathy*, but of course you can step back down again if you don't be at cause in continuing to step up the ladder. Fear does seem to be something of a motivator for you, since you notice that you felt really great for awhile afterwards. Maybe you could try that again, do something that makes your heart beat faster (maybe something in the social arena?) and then while you are basking in the great feelings, immediately move up the ladder. For instance, if that "great feeling" is optimism/positive expectation, deliberately ramp it up to enthusiasm, by thinking thoughts that have you feeling enthusiastic. (or passion, or empowerment, or freedom, or joy). Just wherever you are, deliberately keep moving up the ladder, or down the stream, whichever metaphor you prefer.

You might want to make a plan for that now, and build something physical into your environment, that will remind you to keep your momentum going -- like a big colorful list of good feeling thoughts, or an audio meditation that you listen to every night as you fall asleep; like that.



*according to some emotional guidance hierarchies

[cacheborn]

I have been there quite a few times, so I know how it feels. Even now, I am putting off certain things that I should be doing. One of the things I found useful was to do it without much deliberation. So if I have been putting off cleaning the house for weeks, I would just get up and start doing it, without discussing it with myself. And every time, before I was even halfway through, the motivation would return. And you feel great after you are finished!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, fear is the next step up from apathy*, but of course you can step back down again if you don't be at cause in continuing to step up the ladder. Fear does seem to be something of a motivator for you, since you notice that you felt really great for awhile afterwards.

Well, that was the joy and happiness of transcending the fear. It wasn't that I was motivated by fear to do what I did, it's more that I was motivated to transcend the fear and do it, not to mention I really enjoyed what it was that I did.

However, it's true for most of my life I've been motivated by fear (doing something because of the fear of what may happen if I don't). Maybe I should really try to be a darkworker instead of a lightworker. I don't like manipulating people so I don't really have the heart to be a darkworker.

Maybe you could try that again, do something that makes your heart beat faster (maybe something in the social arena?) and then while you are basking in the great feelings, immediately move up the ladder.

Maybe I could, that'd get me moving a little bit. But then, after an experience where I transcend my fear, I tend to want to focus on it and I tend to need to relax and calm down afterward, not go and do things.

You might want to make a plan for that now, and build something physical into your environment, that will remind you to keep your momentum going -- like a big colorful list of good feeling thoughts, or an audio meditation that you listen to every night as you fall asleep; like that.

Good idea, I could add positive affirmations around my place. I started doing that a little while ago, but need to set some back up as I took down a bunch to put new ones up (which I'm not done with)

[Angela]

Fear is a great motivator -- I mean, it can be a really GOOD motivator -- a positive force in your life. If you deliberately CHOOSE to use it as a motivating tool in your life, you're a step ahead of the crowd. Using fear to appropriately motivate yourself doesn't make you a darkworker -- using fear to manipulate others to unconsciously do your bidding -- now, that would make you a darkworker.

Like this: If you have been feeling stuck in an unloved job, and you are reluctant to leave because you rely on the salary and benefits and security, but you know deep down you want out, you can use a conscious application of fear: "What will my life likely be like 5 years from now, 10 years, or 20? How will I feel if I look back on my life spent worked at this crappy job?" And really be present to the awfulness of what you've been sentencing yourself to. Being afraid of that possible future is a wonderful away-from motivation -- it may be just the temporary PUSH you need to blast yourself off. You wouldn't want to STAY in away-from motivation, because it will keep pulling you back to what you want to move away from, but it can be great rocket fuel to blast you off into the next level of feeling really good, and taking action towards a life you're head over heels in love with.

Originally Posted by seeker5

Maybe I could, that'd get me moving a little bit. But then, after an experience where I transcend my fear, I tend to want to focus on it and I tend to need to relax and calm down afterward, not go and do things.

Well, that's the past. You used to tend to want to focus on the fear. Now you have a choice: do you want to CONTINUE to tend to want to focus on it, or is there something you could tend to want to to focus on as a solution, something that deliberately feels great? It's only a matter of building yourself a new habit.

[seeker5]

Just a quick note for now before I respond to the rest:

Originally Posted by Angela

You used to tend to want to focus on the fear.

I meant in my paragraph, that I'd focus on the how great it was to transcend it. When I do something really cool and nice, I like to replay the scene in my head and bask in the nice feeling of it.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by seeker5

I meant in my paragraph, that I'd focus on the how great it was to transcend it. When I do something really cool and nice, I like to replay the scene in my head and bask in the nice feeling of it.

Oh, I see. That feeling of relaxing and calming down is a step up from fear, and it's a great platform from which to choose deliberate thought that consistently improves your state.

[Mr Blak]

Mr. Seeker5,

I was just about to seek advice for the exact same problem as you, (I guess you got out of bed before I did

I have been struggling with laziness and/or procrastination for quite sometime. I not even sure how to describe my behavior ... laziness, lack of discipline, commitment, desire or integrity. There would be a certain period of time (weeks sometime), where my effectiveness would plummet to a dangerously low level. I usually can turn it around with my logic and rational or maybe just out of frustration, however I get down on my self on how much useful time I wasted needlessly. My time usage has now risen into an imperative part of my success, and I have no more time to waste ... my consistency in the pursuit of my goals has to be addressed IMMEDIATELY.

'Doing what you know you should do, when you should do it ... whether you feel like it or not, is the key to success."

What will constitute a behavioral change in your daily existence ?? ... a change that will LAST, until you have reached your goal ??

I have had many discussions with my friends and peers about this issue and many ideas have surfaced.

Desire:

'All change starts with desire' - Brian Tracy. Desire seems to be a key factor in all levels of achievement. You need to want something bad enough in order to make a shift in your behavior. I heard a great analogy for this shift: Find the most lazy and apathetic person ... take him 50ft off shore and put his head under water. You will suddenly find him to be the most motivated person ever - because he finally has something to fight for. People who have acquired outstanding levels of achievement seem to have this quality: A burning desire that supersedes ALL obstacles. A fire .. an inspiration .. a need that overtakes there being; their existence. The desire to work tirelessly, to overcome emotional states, to get up early and stay up late, to press on when everyone and everything is telling them to stop ... in essence to do what they KNOW they should do, and NEVER give up.

Purpose:

Purpose has been a central theme in personal achievement. A foundation for you and who you want to become ... your creed of personal success and personal transformation. I feel that most, if not all of our actions and decisions should be in alignment with our purpose.
'It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us. It is purpose that defines us.' - from the matrix (couldn't help it . When I researched this topic, I found this site (very happy about that), and performed the 'find your purpose in 20 minutes' exercise. It took me about 25 minutes ... and I was EXTREMELY happy with what I came up with. It is below:
To revel in the dance of life.
To reveal the truth and beauty in my spirit and in others.
To live my potential with passion, with integrity.
To be EPIC.

This was a profound revelation in many ways .. and I see the value. But is it enough ??

Belief and Faith:

After a discussion with my good friend, he suggested that this might be an issue that I need to address. Belief in my goals ... belief in my plan ... belief in my mission; I have to believe that I can be this person I want to become. Due to my analytical nature, I am an obsessive planner. I do this in my profession, and I can amalgamate a effective plan for the achievement of my goals, so I don't think there are any issues here. How do you create this belief? Is in innate? or do I have to take a leap of faith and just trust in god or nature that it will happen. 'Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.' ... or another quote: 'Faith is to believe what I do not see; and the reward of this faith is to see what I believe.' I don't think there is any ambiguity here, I do have a profound belief in my goal. I have identified my strengths and talents, and know what my contribution in this life should be .. I know where I can add value.

Habits:

As FasZ mentioned in an earlier post, a lot of our daily actions can be attributed to habits. We are slaves to our habits ... and we can change them. One period of high effectiveness that I had recently is when I made a 30 day commitment to myself. A period in which I would spend at least 15 - 30 minutes every morning planning out my day, re-write my goals, and re-read my affirmations. It was a good month! I tried to elongate the period to 90 days and I slipped at around day 45 .. and fell right back into another rut. 'Bad habits are easy to form and hard to break ... good habits are hard to form but easy to keep.'
My friend also suggested in our discussion that maybe I should not focus on behaviors that move me forward, but create and absence of habits that hold me back ... an interesting perspective.
What would we have to do to ensure the creation and consistency of an effective habit ? A habit that we know that would bring us success ?

As I am sure you are well aware Mr Seeker5, there are many topics and ideas that create a formula for personal achievement. I am looking for an answer to this particular issue ... whether its loosing focus, laziness, lack of self discipline, etc. I believe that I am at another apex in my life ... and sometimes I feel my dreams are slipping away.

Any other person who has ideas or insights into this issue ... please advise. I will be eternally grateful ... fully and truly!

I leave you with my favorite quote ... and I will see you on the other side (hopefully in the morning


'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.'

[LOVE4LIFE]

Try marijuana!

[ar81]

Marijuana will add the problem of addiction to your problem of laziness...
Companies do not like to hire addicts.
So if your dream life is to be poor, prisoner of a druglord and unemployed, go for Marijuana!!

Lazy people are efficient.

Lazy people do not like to spend too much time, and they like to achieve a good result. Instead, those who are not lazy are bediocre and very often they need to spend extra time correcting mistakes or doing the whole job again. Those who do not achieve results or procrastinate are not lazy, on the contrary, they are hardworkers who like to work under pressure.

[lasti]

Why don't you want to be lazy? What do you miss?
What do you want to do instead?

Do you realise you're free to do anything that you want to do?

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Self-discipline isn't required for every single personal success, achievement, or goal.

Well I guess if your goal is to do nothing, accomplish nothing and seek nothing, then you're right!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

Well I guess if your goal is to do nothing, accomplish nothing and seek nothing, then you're right!

No. There are some goals we've all accomplished that didn't require us forcing to do things as required by self-discipline. I was taking issue with your statement that self-discipline is required for 100% of goals and achievement. Perhaps a lot of goals and achievement require self-discipline, but not 100%

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by seeker5

No. There are some goals we've all accomplished that didn't require us forcing to do things as required by self-discipline.

Self-discipline doesn't necessarily require force as much as it does focus and the desire to do what it takes to accomplish certain goals.

It is definitely required to "achieve any type of personal excellence, athletic excellence, virtuosity in the arts or otherwise outstanding performance."

If none of the above are anything you're interested in, then you definitely don't require self-discipline - which is fine. If you prefer to be lazy you certainly have the prerogative.

[Robou]

Id have to agree with self discipline being the key......because if you had it you could make yourself get up off the couch and get some momentum going....maybe after doing this consistently for awhile it wouldnt take so much self discipline to get moving....I agree 100% with ZHereford.

[Cochonette]

I think laziness comes from avoidance behavior. Not facing our fears. A mind trick that we think we'll get out of something when we won't.

I tend to find I actually feel better when I just get something done. Lazy me, I tend to wait for others to take the initiative to put away mats and such after Aikido practice. But I am President, and I wanted to get out of there without appearing irresponsible (even though everyone there was senior to me in rank), so I grabbed the mat cover and started quickly pulling it over by myself... I was feeling good, but before I got far my instructor called everyone over and told me, "Stop that. You're being too productive." (joke) :P I never heard such a joke made at me before, but it felt good. lol

I wonder how much it helps to think of necessary tasks as collective ones. If I fail, our shared happiness fails. I have started thinking of myself as more connected to others, but I'm not sure how far I'm capable of going with that right now.

[Miia]

I also agree that it`s the matter of self-dicipline. Just force yourself to do something that you have to do, it`s not supposed to be pleasant. It doesn`t matter that you don`t want to do it, or how low you`re feeling or what time it is or any of that. JUST DO IT. Just like someone said, once you`re half way through the task, you`ll feel a lot better and the resistance will dissapear. It will feel awful at the beginning but I guarantee, it will get much much better and by the time you`ve finished doing the task you`ll have much more energy and the lazyness is gone.

Of course there`s a lot more than that to the problem, actually I believe there is no such thing as lazyness. You probably just feel unmotivated and not passionate about the things you have to do... but the only key out of the situation is actually doing those things... we have to do a lot of things we don`t like and hate at the beginning but that`s called life...and in the end we will actually feel good when we have done those unpleasant tasks, even if your conscious mind is giving you the speech of "do what you want and you`ll be happy", our subconscious mind (and or ego) needs us also to do things we don`t like for the sake of feeling good, proud and effective. The next level would be performing the previously unpleasant tasks with joy (or at least without complaining).

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Robou

Id have to agree with self discipline being the key......because if you had it you could make yourself get up off the couch and get some momentum going....maybe after doing this consistently for awhile it wouldnt take so much self discipline to get moving....I agree 100% with ZHereford.

Thanks Robou!

[Robou]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

Thanks Robou!

Your very welcome!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ar81

Marijuana will add the problem of addiction to your problem of laziness...
Companies do not like to hire addicts.
So if your dream life is to be poor, prisoner of a druglord and unemployed, go for Marijuana!!

This is a flat out lie. Marijuana is not a drug and it is not addicting. I have known several smokers in my life and NONE of them have ever been addicted, including myself. I have done it on and off for 20 years whenever it was offered to me (never bought it for my own personal use) though) and I recently quit again a month ago, in case I need to take a drug test for a job. Notice i'm not shaking, throwing up, or freaking out in any way. And my laziness has nothing to do with that, it has everything to do with the fact that I got laid off from my job and I've become addicted to the internet. I never used to be lazy until I got laid off and started spending 99% of my alone time on the computer. No amount of motivation in the world can do anything for you if you are sitting back on the couch with your feet up and your laptop on your lap and hundreds of websites calling your attention, forums with hundreds of posts to catch up on, messengers with friends all chatting with you, YouTube with hundreds of videos that are catching your eye, it's really a miracle if anyone ever gets up off their computer and does something productive.

Seeker, do you find that you spend most of your alone time on the internet? I say "alone" and not "spare" time because it's easy to go out with friends and family if you have plans, but if you're sitting home, by yourself, do you gravitate towards your computer more often than not? I'm just trying to see if you have the same problem I do. If there was no such thing as computers, I would be one of the most productive people out there because I have a list of like 15 jobs I want to dabble in, and my list of interests/hobbies is growing by the day. Do you feel like if you got up one day and your couch and your computer were gone that you would just go out and DO something instead?

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is a flat out lie. Marijuana is not a drug and it is not addicting. I have known several smokers in my life and NONE of them have ever been addicted, including myself.

I know some people who got addicted to Marijuana, but it's an addiction like people would get addicted to sodas, specific foods, etc. They've been able to break the addiction, but it took some force and concentration to break the addiction like it would be to the a specific food, or to coca-cola, etc. Anyway, I don't smoke it so it's not an issue in my case .

Seeker, do you find that you spend most of your alone time on the internet? I say "alone" and not "spare" time because it's easy to go out with friends and family if you have plans, but if you're sitting home, by yourself, do you gravitate towards your computer more often than not?

Yes, I spend almost all my time on the computer. While I have a few friends in town that I hang out with once in a while, I am alone most of my time, and pretty much alone during the week except for when I go to classes or to meetings.

Do you feel like if you got up one day and your couch and your computer were gone that you would just go out and DO something instead?

I don't sit on a couch . I don't know what I'd do without the computer and internet, I'd be lost actually.

Edit: I think maybe I'm being lazy like this now because I've gotten used to it over the summer. I started school three weeks ago after a summer off, and I haven't really kicked into school-mode, reading for school, doing my papers, etc. Whenever I set myself some time to even organize my schoolwork as I traditionally do at the beginning of the semester, I find a bunch of reasons to do other things, or to procrastinate. I keep having some blocks when I think about doing any kind of schoolwork. I think I would be wise to start facing what it is I'm resisting about schoolwork so I can work through it.

BTW, Friday, I actually snapped out of this laziness mode. I had a long listening talk with myself, and did some things that I connected with, and worked on creating value for others, took care of some things. I felt like I was back to being productive, but I feel I've fallen back into it now though.