Overcoming extreme laziness

[Robou]

Straysweeper I think you are exactly right and I see that I need to clarify myself a bit.... Self discipline is is what I use when I need to to get started with things that maybe I'd rather not do or partake in but my goal isn't to always have to feel that I have to discipline myself to do these things my goal is to actually , like you stated... find a way to enjoy doing these things and get to a point where there is no self discipline involved and I will see these tasks as something that I WANT to do rather than feel and view them as something that I have to MAKE myself do.... I try to reframe these tasks in my mind as something that I GET to do... just like you stated... That is a much more beneficial mindset to have for the long term continuation of a desired behavior, habit or trait. Continual day in day out non stop use of hardcore self discipline would no doubt get a person to a position of hating life pretty quick. NLP is great for helping to reframe experiences by the way and I'm not an NLP pro but I have figured out how to use reframing to my advantage...( I'd actually like to delve a little deeper into NLP practice).
As I have said before.. Self discipline is a tool I use but not my only one!...I wouldn't try to work on my car with only a screwdriver!
Thanks straysweeper for helping me to see where I needed to clarify myself.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by seeker5

@ZHereford: your definition of self-discipline is very different than the definition used by others. It seems so different that in fact, it probably doesn't even accurately describe the word "self-discipline" that everyone else uses.

Hey Seeker,

For purposes of consistency and clarity I use the definitions put out by the Webster and Random House people.

I don't make them up, nor do I expect others to. After all how can we discuss a topic if we don't agree on the terms.

Here are the definitions and where I got them from:

Random House Definition

–noun
"discipline and training of oneself, usually for improvement"

Self-discipline Definition | Definition of Self-discipline at Dictionary.com


Webster Definition

"Correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement"


self-discipline - Definition from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Encarta

"Ability to motivate self: the ability to do what is necessary or sensible without needing to be urged by somebody else"

self-discipline definition - Dictionary - MSN Encarta


I don't know which definitions you think we should use, but these are the ones I subscribe to.

[Kaybee]

I've been where you are and I felt as if I were "stuck." I didn't like it one bit.

You need to find one small spark to help you move into action, because action is the only thing that will help you over the hump. Unfortunately, it's contradictory to how you feel at the moment.

You can do it -- siimply exert a little willpower of think of the time you are losing by not taking the action you need to perform.

Good Luck.

Kim
Self Improvement and Motivation

[seeker5]

I had my second really good day today. A few times today I briefly started feeling that resistance of not wanting to do much, followed by that familiar ugh feel of "I'm gonna have to force myself to do so and so". I immediately responded with the affirmation "I accept and embrace fully my laziness". Immediately after the affirmation, I completely relaxed and then the fun of life returned and I went back to being active and making progress on projects and things. I ended having fun doing a good amount of things today.

ZHereford: That's interesting the definitions you found about self-discipline. In the personal development books that I've read, self-discipline seems to lead to forcing yourself to take actions that you don't currently feel like doing at the time. Steve's definition is: "Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state." That implies that when your emotional state doesn't feel like doing something, you go ahead and force yourself to do it regardless of that emotional state. No?

Regardless of the definitions, I've been tired of forcing myself to do things I don't connect with. I've done it so much and I've got ways to force myself to do things that I don't connect with. I've kind of been rebelling against that. So whether that's your definition or not, I'm moving away from it.

I really resonate with trying out Rose and Michelle's method for now. I like their results.

Originally Posted by vMike

Michelle, that sounds nice and cute, but what if you have ambitions, goals, desires. What if you want to be rich, good looking and learn to speak Japanese?

I don't know how rich Michelle is, but she's good looking, so her way of being isn't a problem in that area

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by seeker5

I immediately responded with the affirmation "I accept and embrace fully my laziness". Immediately after the affirmation, I completely relaxed and then the fun of life returned and I went back to being active and making progress on projects and things. I ended having fun doing a good amount of things today.

This sounds so great. The path of least resistance, accepting what is and moving on. Wonderful! Louise Hay says if you innerly repeat the affirmation: "I love and approve of myself and all that I am" a few hundred times a day for a while you cannot help but reap the results. I haven't come across anyone who teaches more masterly lessons concerning positive thinking, loving one's self, pure joy, and deliberate thinking (except maybe Abraham Hicks).

I don't know how rich Michelle is, but she's good looking, so her way of being isn't a problem in that area

Woo! Thank you, Seeker5! You wouldn't be forum flirting with me now, would you?

[straysweeper]

Glad I could be of help Robou!

I feel a division of sorts in the styles that resonate with people. These styles reflect which type of journey or purpose that person has.

I am reminded of a person who gives consultations or seminars, though their name eludes me. They said for a presentation of an hour or so, can take up to 10 times that in preparations. We may not all connect with everything in our lives, but finding that 10% that you really connect with, makes the other 90, not so bad, if not joyful.

I can remember a time when I was in love with someone, things like cooking and cleaning, that I hate to do regularly were joyful. Now that I'm out of love, I have learned to appreciate these things more, though there are times I still put them off.

Another personal example. My sister has extreme self discipline. She worked at a fast food job, making less than she needs for many years, while being with a man who doesn't fully support her, and help her raise her kids, which she has 4 kids, 3 with her full time, and he has 2 from prior relationship, that visits frequently. All doing this, yet not being happy and able to pull herself out of it.

I say this as an example that self discipline can erode who you are, as it has done her.

Now a question. How many here feel fully connected to something in your life, mission, and/or purpose?

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by seeker5

ZHereford: That's interesting the definitions you found about self-discipline. In the personal development books that I've read, self-discipline seems to lead to forcing yourself to take actions that you don't currently feel like doing at the time. Steve's definition is: "Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state." That implies that when your emotional state doesn't feel like doing something, you go ahead and force yourself to do it regardless of that emotional state. No?

I suppose you can use whatever definition you want. I prefer to use the traditional meanings. After all Webster and Random House are considered the authorities on word meanings and usage.

If you see self-discipline as something you have to force yourself to do, then of course you'd resist it. I would!

I see it as a tool to achieve my goals and to maintain focus. If that doesn't work for you, by all means use what does!

I think what seems to be more important is the 'mindset' with which you approach something that needs to be done. If you attach 'force' or 'shoulds' to doing it, you automatically resist it. So the fact that you choose not to call it self-discipline doesn't really matter as long as you're accomplishing what you need to.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by seeker5

"Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state." That implies that when your emotional state doesn't feel like doing something, you go ahead and force yourself to do it regardless of that emotional state. No?

I would say that "Self-discipline is the willingness and ability to change your state to one in which taking action is easy and effortless."

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Angela

I would say that "Self-discipline is the willingness and ability to change your state to one in which taking action is easy and effortless."

Is it always possible to change your state at will?

What if you're tired because you got 2 hours of sleep the night before. On the one hand, you can attempt to change your tired state into one of alertness, where going to work is easy and effortless. This doesn't always work, and you may get fired for not showing up to work because you 'failed to change your state.'

On the other hand, you can force yourself to go to work, despite how you feel at the time. When it comes to situations where performance is required now, which form of self-discipline would yield better results?

[Michelle]

I always thought the words discipline and disciple were related.

When you are a disciple of something you are devoted, loving, dedicated, committed, an attentive student...

[Angela]

Originally Posted by AuspiciousEight

Is it always possible to change your state at will?

Yes.

What if you're tired because you got 2 hours of sleep the night before. On the one hand, you can attempt to change your tired state into one of alertness, where going to work is easy and effortless. This doesn't always work, and you may get fired for not showing up to work because you 'failed to change your state.'

You're talking about a physiological state here, and I was talking about emotional state change, but even so, a new mom who has had 2 hours of sleep the night before can instantly transform her state to alertness if her baby has a problem. The baby doesn't *make* her change her state; it's the mom's own unconscious choice.

If you are in a physiological state that doesn't work well for your job, your best next right action might very well be to call in and let the boss know that you need to take care of yourself in order to give him the best possible results -- like getting a few hours sleep before you come in. And of course you'd probably want to take care of physiological and emotional root causes of your insomnia, if that's a recurring problem. That might not be an instant change; it might take some time to resolve.

But emotional states can be changed instantly, on a dime, as a matter of choice, to one in which inspired action can be taken easily and effortlessly. (Including getting yourself into an emotional state where it would be easy and effortless to call your boss and tell him you'll be in later than normal because you need to take care of yourself. )

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Angela

But emotional states can be changed instantly, on a dime, as a matter of choice, to one in which inspired action can be taken easily and effortlessly.

That seems like a powerful belief to have. In my experience my emotional states are greatly influenced by my thoughts, beliefs, and attitude that I have. But at the same time, they are also influenced by other things, such as the diet that I have, the environment that I'm in, the people I'm around, and even little things, like the weather.

But changing them completely, on a dime, to the emotional state of my choosing, to the degree of my choosing. That sounds powerful. Perhaps you can show me how to do that sometime.

[Robou]

Originally Posted by Angela

Yes.



You're talking about a physiological state here, and I was talking about emotional state change, but even so, a new mom who has had 2 hours of sleep the night before can instantly transform her state to alertness if her baby has a problem. The baby doesn't *make* her change her state; it's the mom's own unconscious choice.

If you are in a physiological state that doesn't work well for your job, your best next right action might very well be to call in and let the boss know that you need to take care of yourself in order to give him the best possible results -- like getting a few hours sleep before you come in. And of course you'd probably want to take care of physiological and emotional root causes of your insomnia, if that's a recurring problem. That might not be an instant change; it might take some time to resolve.

But emotional states can be changed instantly, on a dime, as a matter of choice, to one in which inspired action can be taken easily and effortlessly. (Including getting yourself into an emotional state where it would be easy and effortless to call your boss and tell him you'll be in later than normal because you need to take care of yourself. )

I personally don't have a Job that it would be acceptable to call in late even if it's just going to be an hour, while I stay home to take care of myself.. I think a lot of people probably don't especially if they are in management and their actions are supposed to set the standards for others. I do agree though that you can change states in an instant... if your experienced and practiced at doing so and have already been through the trials of getting to the point of being able to do so..myself I'm not to the point that I can change my states instantly on a consistent basis.. Yet!... For the example that Auspiciouseight made.. And a great example by the way!..I would say this is where good old fashioned self discipline is going to be the route to take for the majority.. And most will find as I do that if you can just get yourself to work that's most of the battle.. You will usually find a renewed energy once your there and doing your thing and your going to feel great when the day is over!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by AuspiciousEight

That seems like a powerful belief to have. In my experience my emotional states are greatly influenced by my thoughts, beliefs, and attitude that I have. But at the same time, they are also influenced by other things, such as the diet that I have, the environment that I'm in, the people I'm around, and even little things, like the weather.

But changing them completely, on a dime, to the emotional state of my choosing, to the degree of my choosing. That sounds powerful. Perhaps you can show me how to do that sometime.

I'd be delighted. There are several tools, and if one doesn't work, another will -- a few of them are listed on my blog: anchoring, spinning, and hakalau. More to come! Or start a new thread or PM me if you've got a specific concern.

[vMike]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'd be delighted. There are several tools, and if one doesn't work, another will -- a few of them are listed on my blog: anchoring, spinning, and hakalau. More to come! Or start a new thread or PM me if you've got a specific concern.

I second that! Would love to see you post a thread with a bit of into on these tools and your insight on how to learn to change states instantly.

[ar81]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is a flat out lie. Marijuana is not a drug and it is not addicting. I have known several smokers in my life and NONE of them have ever been addicted, including myself.

In my company, drug consumers were just fired.
Drugs are not allowed.

If marijuana is not a drug, how about going to FBI and tell them where you buy it.

[seeker5]

Just thought I'd report that the last two days have also been so fantastic. Consciously reminding me of the affirmation "I accept and embrace fully my laziness" has allowed allowed me to get so much done (so paradoxial isn't it).

So far, I've felt so incredibly happy the last 4 days since I took Angela's advice to accept and embrace my laziness. This seems like a natural happiness unlike the happiness that results from an exterior event. I feel much more happy inside of me when I let go of all my "I should be doing this and I should be doing that". Life has seemed like so much fun and I'm getting a good bit done.

Will be interesting to see how this goes on. I'm so glad I bought this topic up on this forum. Having that episode of being lazy is something I naturally felt very bad about and something I don't reveal to people. So it took a good bit for me to bring this topic up here. Even while the topic was up for a while I was somewhat embarrassed by having this issue. However, now I'm very glad to have bought it up.

Originally Posted by ZHereford

I think what seems to be more important is the 'mindset' with which you approach something that needs to be done. If you attach 'force' or 'shoulds' to doing it, you automatically resist it.

I think you're right. I have shoulded myself so much that it's being very counter-productive. Letting go of these shoulds has being incredibly helpful. This is something that I will need to stay conscious of as it's so natural for me to have all of these should. (was that a should? "I should make sure not to let my shoulds try to take over" )

Originally Posted by Michelle

This sounds so great. The path of least resistance, accepting what is and moving on. Wonderful! Louise Hay says if you innerly repeat the affirmation: "I love and approve of myself and all that I am" a few hundred times a day for a while you cannot help but reap the results. I haven't come across anyone who teaches more masterly lessons concerning positive thinking, loving one's self, pure joy, and deliberate thinking (except maybe Abraham Hicks).

I like that affirmation, thanks! I've added it to my wall .