Easily discouraged

[ABdude]

One thing I have found in my goal of personal development, is that its easy to give advice and encouragement when life is going good. But what if life threw you a few curveballs? How does one, keep fighting the good fight and persevering in the face of rejection or disappointment?

I am of course speaking from a personal standpoint. One of my bigger character flaws is that I have a habit of throwing up my hands and giving up when I am met with some outside resistance. Its like I start to forget why I even pursue my goals and start to lose the point in my self improvement. Right now I am going through such a phase where I am faced a few setbacks in my health, career, and personal relationships so it will be interesting to see how I can handle these setbacks.

[brendannz]

"A winner never quits and a quitter never wins"- Napolean Hill

I think it's mainly a matter of perspective, maybe you make the set backs out to mean more than they really are..

One thing you can do, is not announce to everyone what you're trying to do, so you won't have to embarassingly admit it to them.
For example, if you fail your drivers test, then next time you take it, don't tell your friends you are taking the drivers test, so you won't have to be embarassed to tell them about it..

Another thing, is to recognise, when you set a goal, that you're going to have setbacks along the way, and they are on the path to achieving the goal.. and so realise if you discover something that doesn't work, you're one step closer to the goal, because you've found the way that doesn't work..

Life's a challenge, but once you're doing the right thing, it feels right and natural, lifes not supposed to be a struggle.. (I think)

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by ABdude

One thing I have found in my goal of personal development, is that its easy to give advice and encouragement when life is going good. But what if life threw you a few curveballs? How does one, keep fighting the good fight and persevering in the face of rejection or disappointment?

Find the lesson in it. What might the experience have to teach you?

Maybe you have old patterns of thinking and behavior that aren't serving you and need to be replaced. Maybe you have assumptions about how things are supposed to work that need to be let go of or revised. Maybe your goals need to be adjusted or broken into smaller chunks--not abandoned.

Stuff happens. There will be disappointments, well-laid plans that go awry, missed opportunities, and outright crises and catastrophes. It's how you respond to it that makes all the difference. Is the "bad" thing that happens a lesson in disguise? Does it teach you something important about yourself? Does it force you to discover and use strengths you never knew you had? Does it push you down a different road that turns out to be far better and more rewarding than the one you originally chose?

I am of course speaking from a personal standpoint. One of my bigger character flaws is that I have a habit of throwing up my hands and giving up when I am met with some outside resistance.

Why? When did you start doing that? Was there one key event that taught you to give up, rather than face disappointment? Was there someone important in your life early on who told you you'd just be a failure at whatever you tried to do, or who had failed themselves?

And keep in mind that I'm not asking all these questions because I expect an answer--I don't. I'm throwing them out there as questions you might want to ask yourself. Because somehow, giving up has become your default response to obstacles, and that's not getting you where you want to be.

Its like I start to forget why I even pursue my goals and start to lose the point in my self improvement.

Telling yourself you didn't really want something after experiencing a setback or being disappointed is a common defense mechanism. I think "forgetting" serves a similar purpose.

Maybe it would help you to write a formal "mission statement" when you create new goals. If you're making goals, and are interested in personal development, clearly there is something in your life and about yourself you want to change--what is it? There is some better future you envision for yourself--what does that look like to you? Write it down. Go back and read it often, to remind yourself of what you're doing and why.

Another possibility is that the goals you're choosing aren't really your goals--they're the ones you think you're supposed to choose. They're the ones other people, society, entertainment media, and even PD authors have told you you're supposed to want. Maybe what you want, deep-down, is something else entirely, so of course you lose interest, because how can anybody else's goals hold it?

[FazK]

There is nothing that you can really do to build persistence other than PERSISTING. The basic truth is that this is a skill you have to build over time it's like weight training. Every time you get thrown a "curve-ball" you should see it as an opportunity for GROWTH every time you have a problem or crisis you need to "step up to the plate" and "charge the wave" if you do this time and time again you will soon find find yourself becoming a far stronger and better person who can easily deal with anything life throws at him.