How to make myself clean the flat?

[Julia.Ru]

Hi all!
I've been living along in a flat that belongs to my parents for half a year. I lived there 9 years ago, but for several years my parents have been giving it for rent and it's in an awful condition now.
I've tried to clean it little by little (and in a couple of weeks our acquaintance is going to make a redecoration of it), but still I'm too lazy and hasn't done much.
I'm a bit depressed most of the time, because of the people around me and because of something else, I don't know why. Of course, it's no excuse. But every time I think of tiding up, I ask myself 'for what?'. Even when I do start making something about the house, it usually occurs to me 'for what?' and I can simply leave the things undone. I only do the washing up and washing of the clothes regularly.
I need to clean up this flat at last to respect myself (however, it doesn't look like a question to my answer 'for what?'). I read Steve's 99 productivity rules, but couldn't apply any of them (I only liked the rule 'to make everything slowly', but didn't apply it, either).

So, what do you usually do to force yourselves to clean your apartments?

[kedzer]

There's a really annoying but supposedly extremely effective website run by a couple of women: flylady.com

Sign up (I believe it's free), endure an endless # of emails, and voila, you've suddenly developed neatness habits (at which point you unsubscribe). It's a mixture of support and nagging; people swear by it.

[kedzer]

(Of course, figuring out your dysthymia is ultimately more important... but sometimes, successfully tackling a minor problem such as this will give you the courage & energy to deal with bigger things. Such as the meaning of it all.)

[CoolBee]

Definitely check out flylady.net!

Try and ignore the sentimental bits and take the good bits - like small routines, doing it for YOURSELF etc! Choose YOUR 'shiny sink' - she has this thing about shining the sink - for me - without a dishwasher - doing the washing up every single day was what I chose as my "do this 1 chore without fail every single day no matter how crap I feel" task.

Fly Lady "saved my life" when I was working 84 hours a week and in chaos - really helping me get to grips with everything and decluttering all the crap and ultimately leading me to be able to completely change my life!

[liamona]

I second recommendations for Flylady.

[moonrambler]

Invite some company to stay for a weekend or have a dinner get-together at your place, and make sure these are people you wouldn't ask unless your flat was clean.

[Michelle]

If you don't see any good reason for cleaning the place, why bother? It sounds like you are wondering how to force yourself into doing something which makes you miserable. There is no real good, loving way to do that. Maybe you need some help if the mess is so big and you feel overwhelmed. Why not throw a cleaning party or bring in a cleaning person for a few hours?

If you decide to do it all yourself you will need to cultivate beliefs which make you want to care for the place you live in. For example, "I deserve to live in a beautiful, healthy and clean home". "I am worthy of a beautiful home". "A clean home makes my physical experience on this planet more pleasurable and enjoyable". "I love caring for my possesions and my home thereby showing gratitude for them". "I show love, care and appreciation for all I have"... and so on.

I feel like cleaning now after writing this!

[Lauxa]

You have to answer your own 'for what' I came across once that "messies" usually want to have their place clean for reasons of improved efficiency while "cleanies" are more motivated by just wanting things to look nice. This source claimed that beauty is generally a more powerful motivator than efficiency.

[Julia.Ru]

Thank you all very much for your suggestions!
Yesterday I subscribed for Flylady. After hearing such positive responses, I think it's definitely worth trying!
Lauxa, interesting thought, made me ponder on it.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Julia.Ru

Thank you all very much for your suggestions!
Yesterday I subscribed for Flylady. After hearing such positive responses, I think it's definitely worth trying!
Lauxa, interesting thought, made me ponder on it.

When I find myself in a situation which appears complex and requires a lot of time like cleaning my office I promise to pick up just one thing per day. Soon I find myself really doing significant work on the chosen task.

[CoolBee]

Originally Posted by Julia.Ru

Thank you all very much for your suggestions!
Yesterday I subscribed for Flylady. After hearing such positive responses, I think it's definitely worth trying!
Lauxa, interesting thought, made me ponder on it.

Don't be put off by all the emails! YOu are NOT SUPPOSED to take action on every single one, they're just there to start seeping in to your brain!

Be sure to read the website - build a very simple routine, one step at a time!

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Julia.Ru

I'm a bit depressed most of the time, because of the people around me and because of something else, I don't know why. Of course, it's no excuse. But every time I think of tiding up, I ask myself 'for what?'.

I used to be a slob (well, okay, I still am, but I'm much better at cleaning than I used to be). And during periods when I was severely depressed, I would have neither the energy nor the motivation to clean or make repairs around the house.

Living in a dirty, run-down house, however, only kept me depressed. It's hard to feel like you have control over your life when you can't even keep your home environment under control. It's hard to feel hopeful when the mess keeps getting worse and it feels like you'll never be able to get it cleaned up. It's hard to bring new friends into your life when your house is too embarrassingly dirty to have anyone over.

The state of my house was a reflection of my inner state of being. After I moved out of that house, into one that was clean and without clutter, I felt so much more hopeful. I felt like I'd had an immense weight lifted from my shoulders, and that I had a new start in life. But I've always been a terrible housekeeper; while I know how to do laundry and clean individual messes, keeping an entire house clean was a set of habits I'd never acquired.

So when I realized I was having trouble keeping the new house clean, I knew I needed to develop those habits. Flylady starts with the kitchen sink; for me it started with the toilet bowl, because to me a filthy toilet is the worst. The brush in its container is next to the toilet; there was no reason for me not to swish it around if the bowl looked even a little bit dirty. Always having a clean toilet bowl made me feel better, even when I still struggled with the rest of the house. And once I realized that I was now doing it automatically, without having to talk myself into it or think about it, I finally began to feel like I was turning things around.

Once keeping the toilet bowl clean was habit, I added another chore (keeping the bathroom sink clean). Then sweeping the stairs. Then keeping the kitchen sink clean. Then cleaning the bathtub. Then keeping the corner between the sink and the stove clean. And on and on; I added tasks as I felt ready to.

I'm still not the best housekeeper, but I can have unexpected visitors without being embarrassed, and they don't look the least bit nervous when I offer them food. And if I need a reason for cleaning, and an answer to "for what?" it's that I feel so much better when my environment looks and smells nice. I feel lighter--I never realized how unbearably heavy I felt because of my old dirty house until I started keeping a clean one.

[CoolBee]

My experience was pretty similar to Magical Realist's.

If I felt ill or down, a messy house just made it worse. Having a clean (not obsessively so) place that I felt able to invite people in to (check out CHAOS - can't have anyone over syndrome - an area I have done a fair amount of coaching in having achieved peace with it myself!). For me, after I got my routines down - leaving home every morning with an 'unexpected company ready' bathroom meant I never had to worry about random visits straight after work with friends I may bump in to on the way home or whatever.
I actually find having routines for domestic chores is very freeing - often people assume that having a daily routine for this kind of 'anti-feminist slave labour' is a jail sentence, but actually its not! Keeping the home reasonably clean and tidy for just 30 minutes effort a day is like a weight off my mind.