Having trouble sticking to my goals..

[merveilles]

So I'm trying to lose a few pounds. My problem is, I keep messing my diet up. Today was one of my very close friends birthday, so we went out and got breakfast. I know I'm on a diet, but I just ended up eating whatever I wanted, I figured it's his birthday! I only celebrate three birthdays a year.
It seems like something always pops up that throws me off my diet. I haven't lost any weight and it's been months. I'm starting to feel very hopeless about this. Like I'm doomed to be stuck here no matter how hard I try and what I do. How can I consistently stick to my goals?

[Angela]

Maybe you need a more inspiring goal than "lose a few pounds."

If I were you, I'd ditch that one, start with my most deeply held values, my heart's desire, and then build a brand-new goal that expresses that heart's desire in each moment, and has you easily and effortlessly walking in to your new, values-based life.

For instance, when I think about that area of my life, my most deeply held values are Vitality, Joy, and Gratitude. An outcome that inspires me that expresses all three of these is: Growing superpower-packs. Building and nurturing little pockets of superpower into my muscles so that I can access and use superpower all over my life! There's loads of vitality in doing so, all kinds of joy (I feel like Wonder Woman when I do this), and I'm so grateful that I have this superpower and the ability to use it responsibly.

So, when I approach my food choices, I'm not thinking about my weight, I'm evaluating whether this food will contribute to the superpower-pack, or be detrimental to it. Sometimes I make a choice that might not be the most superpower packing food, and then I'll balance that with extra superpower packing later.

And my exercise is a whole lot different, packing superpower into my muscles, than it was when I was just trying to lose some weight.

As it happens, Superpower burns fat and builds muscle! You don't see too many fat, sluggish superheroes, now, do you?

What are your heart's desires in this area of your life, and what would be a goal that would express those heart's desires?

[Andyee]

I want you to understand this: you may here a lot of suggestions here, some even good, but unless you do not feel (and I mean really feel) that you need to change for yourself, you will stay with your problems.

I had this problem too and one day I stopped whining and started to developing exercises for myself, so that I will become better in speaking.

[Sam kovacs]

Try this. Take a moment and think: If you don't mess up you're diet, and keep eating well how are you gonna be in 2 weeks? 2months?6months? a year? 5years?10years?20years? And don't just think about it, feel it, each of these times, and the pleasure you will get by keeping a good diet.

Next think: If you keep messing up you're diet how are you gonna be in 2weeks? 2months? 6months? a year? 5years? 10 years? 20 years? And feel the pain of you not going anywhere, of being stuck,even putting on weight feel that pain! Allthough it's not nice, if you're gonna apply this method, feel the pain!

After this each time you see a piece of chocalate rather than thinking" yumeeeee" you will thin "ahhhhhhhhhh makes me fat".


And before stuffing your face with food, think to yourself, what will i gain be eating this? And what will i lose?
If its an apple you'll probably eat it.
If its a big mac, you'll probably give it to some poor begger.


And when the method wears off. Repeat. And if you really have discipline problems, repeat the method once a day during ten minutes.


Worked for me =D

[Charly]

I lost about 60 lbs myself, and will power is not my forte.

When you have a goal, I would say just about any goal, start by educating yourself on how it works. Your problem is probably that your diet is not adapted. Why do I say this?

Because I have found that a proper diet includes breaks during which you are not only allowed, but obliged to "binge". Plan those days to fall on party dates, family reunions, etc.

I posted my weight loss plan on my blog, as well as a good deal of the theory behind it (I'm adding bits and pieces now and then). I hope I'm not spamming by saying this, it is not my intention as I really hope to stay on this board and contribute as best as I can

[Sami]

If you have the cash, you could try a personal trainer. A good one will help with the food side of things as well as the exercise. The fact that you're paying money to have someone train you is often motivation alone to keep on track with eating.

On top of that, they'll help you set goals, keep track of your progress, show you the intensity you need to exercise at to lose weight, give you guideance on food and keep you motivated.

I've always had a pretty good motivation level when it comes to exercise but got to a point about 6 months ago when I felt I'll lost my mojo re exercise and wasn't seeing the results I wanted (my goals had been to get fitter so I could play better touch football and to lose some weight).

I decided to hire a personal trainer and have been working with him for nearly 6 months (I also played a game of touch football a week and attended a weekly boot camp session). The results have been awsome; I'm playing the best touch football I ever have (because I'm far fitter than I've ever been) and have lost about 23 cms (around 9 inches) from various parts of my body (mostly stomach area).

I also developed a health and fitness lifestyle that suits me. I now have motivation around being fit, a way of eating that suits me, I don't feel deprived or hungry and have flexibility in the way I eat while still making healthy choices most of the time. I can attribute most of this to starting with a personal trainer.

Hope this helps and good luck with it.

[gerkhan2000]

hi,

I think it's not about doing a thing once even if you're commited to a goal. eating a lot of stuff once doesnt make you fat. it's more about figuring out why you have no healthy diet in general.

I know from my own conscious expierience and psychology readings that eating too much stuff comes from an internal feeling. for example, I do try to feed myself whenever there is a feeling of emptiness or nervousness coming up within myself. so in my experince you have to fix those things first before your symptoms a.k.a. "messing up your diet" go away.

try to find out the following things: what do you feel in the moment you get that flash of eating? what is the central feeling behind this? being lonely? being nervous? being anxious to do another task?

i recommend you "soul without shame" by byron brown to get a deeper idea of what I mean.

good luck!