How do you Focus?

[Muzzinho]

How do you keep yourself focused when there are many doubting what you are doing? I seem compelled to take everyone's advice to heart and let it influence me, usually for the worse.

What's funny is that I consider all opinions and end overwhelmed and do nothing.

Thank you.

[coffegirl]

Do it even more.
Most people are tied up with their own problems anyway,so they may give you well-meant advices,but in the end the decision is yours.
You alone are responsible for your actions-not the others.
I agree that it´s quite interesting to hear other people opinions abour your personal concerns,but I also think that fear of taking responsibility for your own actions plays an important role.
You fear doing the "wrong" actions,so you try to gain more confidence by asking your friends for help and then you weight one advice against another.
That´s a pretty secure way to fail,because either you use the consideration in order to procrastinate and end up doing nothing or you get angry,because the choice is not really in your own interest.
Noone is really hindering you to do the things you like and noone can really tell,what is working for you or not,until you didn´t try it out by yourself,right?

[st33med]

If you stop to ask someone what you believe is the right action but you want to make sure, that shows lack of confidence. Don't feel alone in feeling this; I have had to question what I am doing is the right choice. If you are REALLY unsure, ask; otherwise, if you know you are doing something right but you are not told whether it is right or wrong, just do it. This action shows you have the power and courage to do something.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

How do you keep yourself focused when there are many doubting what you are doing? I seem compelled to take everyone's advice to heart and let it influence me, usually for the worse.

What's funny is that I consider all opinions and end overwhelmed and do nothing.

Thank you.

First, I don't tell people what I'm doing unless they have some sort of contribution to make (money, expertise, skills), or else I already know they will be supportive and encouraging.

Sometimes, that means I don't tell anyone about my plans until very late in the game. I do my research, I come up with my strategy, I get everything lined up and ready to go, and only when it is set in motion do I announce what I'm doing to people not directly involved. Friends and family think I'm a bit rash and that I do everything on impulse, but it's not true--they just don't see the weeks, months, or years of research, planning, and preparation.

I don't ask other people for advice or opinions unless they have the right kinds of experience and expertise, and understand the true risks and rewards involved. There's just no point in doing otherwise. Were I starting another business, for example, I wouldn't discuss it with my mother because all she sees is "risk, potential failure, money lost, gambling, bad economy, bankruptcy!" She's not stupid by any means, but she's never started or run a business and doesn't know how, and all of her opinions and advice will be colored by her fears. In fact, I prefer to seek advice from people outside my family and social circle, even if I have to pay for it, because those people don't have any emotional tie to me and thus can discuss it dispassionately.

Not telling everyone about my plans also gives me plenty of breathing room--I don't have relatives asking, "So, how's Project X coming along?" If there are delays, or long periods where I can't move forward, or my plans hit a temporary snag, I can work through it quietly without some know-nothing jumping to the conclusion that things are going badly. I can also proceed at my own pace, without having to deal with others' ideas of how long it should take or where I should be.

It's much easier for me to stay focused when I'm not dealing with distractions. And justifying or explaining myself to anyone else, or responding to their fears, are major distractions.

[Talkofthatown919]

When i have people doubting me that only adds more fuel to my fire. It keeps me going. Because i know when i do succeed they will wish they believed in me. Also i learned that there is always going to be someone who doubts you whether they say they do or not. Getting focused is more so finding out what you want and going after it until you get it.

[Charly]

It seems you answered your question yourself, by writing this thread!

You are talking to others for reassurance and support, which suggests that what you intend to do scares you.

The people you are talking to aren't supportive, which either means that what you are planning on is too dangerous or not well thought through, or that they are too meek.

I don't think you should stop talking. You never know what comes out of a conversation. Sometimes a good idea comes from talking to someone that you never suspect might have a contribution to make. Only avoid talking to those whose reaction can become a constant burden (usually parents ).

The others might help you work things out, even if at first it seems thay are tugging you in opposite directions. Give yourself time to set your course (you work things out subconsciously, but you also need to do some active thinking, planning, research).

Fear and indecision never completely disappear though. At some point you'll have to take the plunge, and you will still feel unprepared.