How to become better at controlling your thoughts?

[vMike]

Any suggestions how to become better at controlling your thoughts and focusing on your goals and plans?

Is this discipline, is it a habit?

Any mind exercises or similar things you can do to improve this ability?

[AlwaysLearning]

There are two opposing schools, call them the mystics and the mentalists (the names aren't totally accurate, but it rolls off the tongue).

Mystic approach: Learn to live in a state of "presence". This is achieved by doing meditation in which you allow your thoughts to spring up as they will, you don't try to control them or silence them or even analyze them, just passively observe them. Passive observation deprives the thoughts of energy; it's common to refer to this process as "dismantling patterns". In this school, thoughts are often considered "the enemy". For more on this, read Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".

Mentalist approach: Decide how you want to think, and bend your mind that way by using an assortment of mental tricks. Examples are written positive affirmations, NLP, self-hypnotism. I've had great success with positive affirmations, personally. Just write things, like, "I love my strong body", "I accept all the best things in life", etc. Seems silly at first but it gradually reprograms your brain.

So don't the two approaches contradict each other somewhat? I wrote about how they can be reconciled: The Power of Now vs. Positive Affirmations

[Inspirations]

Originally Posted by AlwaysLearning

There are two opposing schools, call them the mystics and the mentalists (the names aren't totally accurate, but it rolls off the tongue).

The third school of thought:

Why control your thoughts?

They are trying to tell you something, but like an ignored child, each time you ignore them they get louder and more persistent.

You can quite easily follow your thoughts to their cause, which creates them.

Say you hear "you can't do this right" or some other complaint, that suggests that you hold a core belief that you cant do things right. As a core belief, you continually live what you believe, so of course sabotage your success in order to physically live your belief.

And will continue to do so until you resolve it. You want you to know and believe good things about you!! So keep pushing yourself to finally get there.

Do you want to believe that you aren't good enough to do things, or resolve it and go on to live its exact opposite. I am great!!

Its easy to locate the core belief, its story, inception and how it impacts your life, then instantly and permanently delete it - with Greene's Release

[iamthebest]

Focussing on your goals without getting distracted definetely reqiures descipline.
I wouldn't really distuingiush it from the habit as discipline in itself is a habit.

Whenever we have a thought, it may be in alignment with your intention (your goals or plans) or it may not. The ones that are in alignment are okay to have because they are helping you towards your goal. But when it comes to the ones that ain't really supporting your cause, discipline plays the important role.

And discipline is simply the ability to act towards your goal regardless of your emotional feelings or more accurately your desires and whims.

A simple way to build descipline or a habit is to BEGIN SAYING "NO" TO SMALL INSIGNIFICANT THINGS THAT ARE NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH YOUR GOAL BUT YOU FEEL TEMPTED TO HAVE THEM IN YOUR EXPERIENCE, AND THEN SLOWLY AND PROGRESSIVELY YOU MOVE ON TO REMOVE BIGGER DISTRACTIONS IN YOUR LIFE THAT DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION FROM YOUR GOAL.

For example,
let's say you're a high school student and your goal to excel in your grade/class. Assuming that there are other super-geniuses in the grade/class it may reqiure you to make massive efforts to pull this off, especially if you haven't done any such sort of this thing before.
So how do you begin to get into the phase of "toppers".
Of course, this reqiures a lot of input. You may have to give up various distractions to reclaim time for study. This may involve minimizing time in watching TV, listening to music, playing computer games.
You may begin the "NO" process from you favourite song (anything that's slightly outsife ypur comfort zone).Say, you're trying to study and suddenly you hear your favourite song on TV in the next room. Of Course you'll be tempted to go and listen to it, but you do have the choice to say "no". It'll feel pretty strange but it'll definitely improve your descipline.
This simple act when repeated in various other non-aligned activities will help you to build descipline.The key idea is that YOU BEGIN FROM WHERE YOU ARE AND YOU PROGRESSIVELY MOVE TOWARDS YOU GOAL even if the step seems small.

BECAUSE EVERY NON-ZERO DISTANCE COVERED TOWARDS YOUR GOAL IS A PROGRESS.


Hope this bit of suggestion helped you.

[vMike]

Thanks everyone! That's quite helpful. Thinking how to apply it now..

[Chap]

Originally Posted by vMike

Any suggestions how to become better at controlling your thoughts and focusing on your goals and plans?

Is this discipline, is it a habit?

Any mind exercises or similar things you can do to improve this ability?

The two are the same, it is a habit hence a discipline. Know what to encourage, what to ignore. Not all our thoughts mean anything, in fact most of it is garbage. So learn to overcome your thoughts and heading towards a goal, and learn through experience.

If you have negative self-talk and are too afraid to approach ladies then you can easily become a slave. If you just get in there and focus on it, then the thoughts, if negative, lose gravitas, and you might indeed have more conducive thoughts.

So in short take action!

[Talkofthatown919]

The way that you can become better at controlling your thoughts is to practice meditation. Clear your mind and began to focus on what you truly want. Simple exercises like that practiced daily can yield big results.

[Dogs]

Following an epiphany, initiate a conceptualizing meme based on the epiphany.

This is programming, afterall.

in fact most of it is garbage.

I seriously seriously seriously seriously disagree with this statement.

Nothing in my head is garbage!

[vMike]

Originally Posted by Dogs

initiate a conceptualizing meme based on the epiphany.

English please

[The Cloud]

In order to control something, you have to know it. In order to know your thoughts you have to think them, or think about them, which is the same thing. You can't think "yes I love myself" without denying "no I hate myself," because if you really loved yourself then you wouldn't have to think about it. And once you've denied the negative, it's already too late.

[YourHumbleNarrator]

Something else you'll want to keep in mind is your diet. Stimulants and sweets can upset the balance of your body and make parts of your brain work overtime. That makes it really hard to concentrate. At its worst, you'd either have an overactive mind or you'll feel very "bleh" and wouldn't be able to put any energy behind your thoughts at all. I don't know if that applies to you, just keep in mind that what you do physically will impact you mentally.

And also be mindful not to get -too- much control over your thoughts. You don't want to squelch all spontaneity. You really don't need to; as another poster said, most random thoughts are pure garbage. They'll come and go without doing any damage so long as you let them. The ideal is to be able to focus when you want to focus without getting distracted by whatever floats through your mind. If you're mystically inclined, this is also how you tune into your intuition. When you can identify junk for what it is, spontaneous intuition is much easier to recognize.

[Dogs]

Originally Posted by vMike

English please

=)

con⋅cep⋅tu⋅al⋅ize
  [kuhn-sep-choo-uh-lahyz] Show IPA verb, -ized, -iz⋅ing.
Use conceptualize in a Sentence
–verb (used with object)
1. to form into a concept; make a concept of.

meme
  [meem] Show IPA
–noun
a cultural item that is transmitted by repetition in a manner analogous to the biological transmission of genes.



e·piph·a·ny (ĭ-pĭf'ə-nē)
n. pl. e·piph·a·nies
A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization: "I experienced an epiphany, a spiritual flash that would change the way I viewed myself" (Frank Maier).

[padawan in training]

Originally Posted by AlwaysLearning

There are two opposing schools, call them the mystics and the mentalists (the names aren't totally accurate, but it rolls off the tongue).

Mystic approach: Learn to live in a state of "presence". This is achieved by doing meditation in which you allow your thoughts to spring up as they will, you don't try to control them or silence them or even analyze them, just passively observe them. Passive observation deprives the thoughts of energy; it's common to refer to this process as "dismantling patterns". In this school, thoughts are often considered "the enemy". For more on this, read Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".

Mentalist approach: Decide how you want to think, and bend your mind that way by using an assortment of mental tricks. Examples are written positive affirmations, NLP, self-hypnotism. I've had great success with positive affirmations, personally. Just write things, like, "I love my strong body", "I accept all the best things in life", etc. Seems silly at first but it gradually reprograms your brain.[/url]

Nice way to look at it. I had never thought of that dicotomy. I too have an over-active mind on ocasions.

I've been trying the Mystic approach and I've had some good experiences. My first try was doing one of Steve's "Presence Walks". I try to do this often and it's a huge relief, although terribly hard to attain fully.

Leo Babauta's "The Power of Less" (I think it was in that book) has some interesting ideas regarding daily routine and how to turn it into a ritual by granting it your full, undivided attention. This has the double effect of making these tasks significant and filtering unwarranted thoughts. A difficult exercise, but one worth trying.

Finally, this article at Raptitude might be interesting. Again, this is all coming from the Mystic POV.

[Dogs]

Originally Posted by YourHumbleNarrator

Something else you'll want to keep in mind is your diet. Stimulants and sweets can upset the balance of your body and make parts of your brain work overtime. That makes it really hard to concentrate. At its worst, you'd either have an overactive mind or you'll feel very "bleh" and wouldn't be able to put any energy behind your thoughts at all. I don't know if that applies to you, just keep in mind that what you do physically will impact you mentally.

And also be mindful not to get -too- much control over your thoughts. You don't want to squelch all spontaneity. You really don't need to; as another poster said, most random thoughts are pure garbage. They'll come and go without doing any damage so long as you let them. The ideal is to be able to focus when you want to focus without getting distracted by whatever floats through your mind. If you're mystically inclined, this is also how you tune into your intuition. When you can identify junk for what it is, spontaneous intuition is much easier to recognize.

I disagree with most of this, as well. There is no such thing as "too much control" and "absolute control" is no more dangerous to spontaneity than taking a bunch of acid and hanging out in the local ghetto would.

Instead, spontaneous events become TRULY spontaneous, because they are unintended consequences, and random events well outside your realm of control.

[LaylaStar]

Just skimmed through this.. I see diet was addressed before: nutrition & exercise really have a HUGE part to play with our mind & thoughts too!!

If you eat right, it can be quite overwhelming how different it feels!

Of course I am just learning too.. It really does make a HUGE difference!!
especially if you might have a food sensitivity or such..

Lots of people eg lack magnesium & this can cause anxiety, depression, worried thoughts or other health problems etc. Vegetarians or others may lack zinc, B12 or other nutrients, so it's even more important to pay attention to what one eats.. it all shows on the mental sphere too..

I also believe in the power of the journal: to write down the unruly thoughts & then address them & make sense of them.. eg write down worries & then come up with steps you can take etc.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by vMike

Any suggestions how to become better at controlling your thoughts and focusing on your goals and plans?

What makes you think controlling your thoughts will make you focus on your goals?

Is this discipline, is it a habit?

Is what a habit? Controlling thoughts? Thoughts are habits. The one you latch onto are the ones that repeat.

Any mind exercises or similar things you can do to improve this ability?

anything that requires focus for that activity. then thoughts are not idle but focused on what you are doing. like skiing. or playing music. or doing taichi or martial arts. or anything you really like doing to the point that you don't have to think about controlling anything - you just are so into it that there's no effort in having to figure out how to act about it and be disciplined to make it happen.

[FazK]

Have you read the power of now

Do you remember the part where he says to watch your mind like a mouse hole. Basically think of your mind being the hole and your thoughts as being the mouse.

Ok right now watch your mind closely to see how many "mice" come out. Chances are the more closely you watch the how the harder it is for the mice to come out. Do you understand?

Make it a habit to do this all day and you will soon find that controlling your thoughts is very easy

[brendannz]

Do you have your goals written down of where you are going with your life? and you're constantly looking at your goals?

Another thing as well, it's good to have really basic goals written down, which will focus your actions for the day. Even if your goals are as basic as "shop for groceries" and "email bob"

If you've got more of a purpose with your life, then your thoughts and actions will be less like Alice and Wonderland

Does that make sense?