Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

loveandfear · 08-14-2009, 08:22 PM

Hi everyone,

ive realised im sitting at home on a friday evening, im bored, i wish i was out with my friends doing something, but i dont think any of my friends are up to much tonight (i havent bothered to ask- i always wait for them to approach me), so ive decided to sit and watch the television tonight, by myself. and its just so boring basically, and ive realised i dont really feel that content when im on my own, i dont really know what i should be doing, but i get frustrated im not doing anything....

i dont really have any striking passions or things i do when im on my own, im not someone who sits down and reads a lot, i dont play video games, i like being around people but clearly on a night like tonight i feel left lost and stranded. i think the reason is i never take the initiative and ask other people out, i always wait to be invited, but that's to do with my own insecurity about people rejecting me, so i rarely ask.....

i also have stopped drinking alcohol since 1 month 1/2 ago (which has been great for my mind and body) but i feel concious of the fact that people are less inclined to go out when there isnt alcohol involved......or im at least scared of asking anyone if they just want to go out for a non-alcoholic drink- especially on a friday night...

does anyone have any suggestions/advice/ reflections for what i should do...

...how do i find something i can enjoy by myself to fill these bored hours...or how do i find people i want to spend time with so i dont feel bored and alone.....

or should i be dealing with the issue of 'aloneness' and start to appreciate and enjoy my alone time....because at the moment i hate it and i feel bored and annoyed at myself.

loveandfear

VIPFaktor · 08-14-2009, 08:40 PM

Meditate.

ssandra · 08-14-2009, 08:45 PM

Well, first of all I would work on starting to be ok with yourself... You are the person you spend the most time with, so why not spend it with somebody you actually like?

Secondly... just because you don´t drink alcohol, doesn´t mean that others cannot either.

Thirdly... if you don´t take a chance and reach out, ask somebody out, nothing will ever happen. Just try... the worst thing that can happen is that they say no, and than you are at home doing nothing... exactly what you are doing now..

I once almost lost a friend like that. I never dared to reach out and ask them, I always waited. At one point they told me that they were getting tired of it. It always felt as if it came only from one side. I changed my behaviour to them and now we are still good friends...

So my being afraid to reach out almost lost me a friend. Don´t let that happen to you!

Ekb · 08-18-2009, 03:13 AM

Hey at least you aren't killing you body and brain!
Ideas for things to do...
join dance or yoga class, or martial arts
start a hobby like drawing, or hone woodworking skills
revamp your house
use your time to help others
start singing
be comfortable going out and enjoying conversation with other non-drinkers
call your mother
stretch
cartwheel
go to bed early and get up early

any of those seem appealing?

CJAnyasor · 08-18-2009, 06:14 AM

Um, I have a blog post that might help. Hope it works out,

How to Kiss Your Boredom Goodbye | HiLife2B

Good luck my bored friend.

LifeFirst · 08-18-2009, 08:21 PM

Read books. It's what I do...

hell if you don't like books read comics....Batman, Superman, Wolverine...trust me, you will be ADDICTED.

08-14-2009, 08:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
loveandfear Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	Help! frustration at boredom and having nothing to do... Hi everyone, ive realised im sitting at home on a friday evening, im bored, i wish i was out with my friends doing something, but i dont think any of my friends are up to much tonight (i havent bothered to ask- i always wait for them to approach me), so ive decided to sit and watch the television tonight, by myself. and its just so boring basically, and ive realised i dont really feel that content when im on my own, i dont really know what i should be doing, but i get frustrated im not doing anything.... i dont really have any striking passions or things i do when im on my own, im not someone who sits down and reads a lot, i dont play video games, i like being around people but clearly on a night like tonight i feel left lost and stranded. i think the reason is i never take the initiative and ask other people out, i always wait to be invited, but that's to do with my own insecurity about people rejecting me, so i rarely ask..... i also have stopped drinking alcohol since 1 month 1/2 ago (which has been great for my mind and body) but i feel concious of the fact that people are less inclined to go out when there isnt alcohol involved......or im at least scared of asking anyone if they just want to go out for a non-alcoholic drink- especially on a friday night... does anyone have any suggestions/advice/ reflections for what i should do... ...how do i find something i can enjoy by myself to fill these bored hours...or how do i find people i want to spend time with so i dont feel bored and alone..... or should i be dealing with the issue of 'aloneness' and start to appreciate and enjoy my alone time....because at the moment i hate it and i feel bored and annoyed at myself. loveandfear

08-14-2009, 08:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
ssandra Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Mexico City Posts: 11,168	3 pieces of advice Well, first of all I would work on starting to be ok with yourself... You are the person you spend the most time with, so why not spend it with somebody you actually like? Secondly... just because you don´t drink alcohol, doesn´t mean that others cannot either. Thirdly... if you don´t take a chance and reach out, ask somebody out, nothing will ever happen. Just try... the worst thing that can happen is that they say no, and than you are at home doing nothing... exactly what you are doing now.. I once almost lost a friend like that. I never dared to reach out and ask them, I always waited. At one point they told me that they were getting tired of it. It always felt as if it came only from one side. I changed my behaviour to them and now we are still good friends... So my being afraid to reach out almost lost me a friend. Don´t let that happen to you!

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08-14-2009, 08:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
VIPFaktor Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Ca$hLand Posts: 57	Meditate.

08-18-2009, 03:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ekb Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 99	Hey at least you aren't killing you body and brain! Ideas for things to do... join dance or yoga class, or martial arts start a hobby like drawing, or hone woodworking skills revamp your house use your time to help others start singing be comfortable going out and enjoying conversation with other non-drinkers call your mother stretch cartwheel go to bed early and get up early any of those seem appealing?

08-18-2009, 06:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
CJAnyasor Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 50	Um, I have a blog post that might help. Hope it works out, How to Kiss Your Boredom Goodbye \| HiLife2B Good luck my bored friend.

08-18-2009, 08:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
LifeFirst Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 391	Read books. It's what I do... hell if you don't like books read comics....Batman, Superman, Wolverine...trust me, you will be ADDICTED.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums