Can maturity be cultivated externally?

[kf4qhk]

Hey guys,

I have a guy from church that I am trying to help out. He's 21 or so, but, operates out of an 8-12 year old mindset. I am not sure what part of this operation is background, and what, if any, comes from mental defeciencies. He does have one health issue that may make me believe that he may have a slight learning disability, but, not sure.

Anyway, I am trying to help him get established. He is 21, and has extremely little to show for it. I don't think he can even grasp that there is a quality of life beyond what he has now. As far as he knows, he'll be working minimal wage jobs his whole life.

I don't think he'll ever be successful in the corporate work environment, so, I am trying to come up with a unique niche that he can be successful in on his own. He has one passion, namely, sports, specifically, golf. I had thought of trying to position him as a child/teen golf coach (he's only 3-4 feet tall or so,) but, the area that I live in would not support that.

A big part of his issue is a lack of maturity. Because of his height, people have treated him as a disabled person his whole life, so, he has very little maturity developed. One strength of that is that he overruns with joy and enthusiasm, but, it comes "bubbling out" at the most inopportune times.

To not know any better, you'd think that he was an 8-12 year old, because of the depth of the responsibility he takes, and the depth of the conversations he has.

Thanks for ideas.

Jeremy

[Time]

Originally Posted by kf4qhk

Hey guys,

I have a guy from church that I am trying to help out. He's 21 or so, but, operates out of an 8-12 year old mindset. I am not sure what part of this operation is background, and what, if any, comes from mental defeciencies. He does have one health issue that may make me believe that he may have a slight learning disability, but, not sure.

Anyway, I am trying to help him get established. He is 21, and has extremely little to show for it. I don't think he can even grasp that there is a quality of life beyond what he has now. As far as he knows, he'll be working minimal wage jobs his whole life.

I don't think he'll ever be successful in the corporate work environment, so, I am trying to come up with a unique niche that he can be successful in on his own. He has one passion, namely, sports, specifically, golf. I had thought of trying to position him as a child/teen golf coach (he's only 3-4 feet tall or so,) but, the area that I live in would not support that.

A big part of his issue is a lack of maturity. Because of his height, people have treated him as a disabled person his whole life, so, he has very little maturity developed. One strength of that is that he overruns with joy and enthusiasm, but, it comes "bubbling out" at the most inopportune times.

To not know any better, you'd think that he was an 8-12 year old, because of the depth of the responsibility he takes, and the depth of the conversations he has.

Thanks for ideas.

Jeremy

He sounds like just the kind of guy the television business is full of!

Seriously, though, maybe his "bubbley" personality would fit him for some kind of career in the media. Film, television, live theatre, they are all perfect environments for people whose personality tends to the "youthful".

And being among other people who display the same characteristics would probably be more comfortable for him.

Of course, television, film, and theatre demand all of the typical qualities of maturity, namely, Responsibility, Reliability, Tenacity, Team skills, and many more.

[this is fun]

Originally Posted by kf4qhk

A big part of his issue is a lack of maturity. Because of his height, people have treated him as a disabled person his whole life, so, he has very little maturity developed.
To not know any better, you'd think that he was an 8-12 year old, because of the depth of the responsibility he takes, and the depth of the conversations he has.

I've seen a similar situation, it takes a lot of effort and work.
Maybe you could introduce/create for him situations where he could slowly learn to accept more responsibility and gain experience on which to build on later.

[Remiel]

How would you describe his behavior? Is it pretty fun loving, flexible and carefree?

[kf4qhk]

I'd say that he is very fun loving, very care free. He doesn't have a very strong sense of responsibility, or, in some matters, what is appropriate, when. For instance, as I mentioned, I go to church with him. If any joke gets cracked from the pulpit, in a church of 400+, you can hear him laughing above all others. He cracks up at the smallest joke. He really likes to be the center of attention.

In some degrees, I believe he has a child like mind, but, again, not sure. For instance, last evening, I took him home from church, and on the way home, I stopped by a friend's house. This friend was going to go out to eat, and this little guy was just begging to go along (knowing that this friend would have to pay,) and, that this friend had some a lot for him on this particular day, and would do a lot tomorrow. In a non selfish way, he thinks that he is the only one to be considered.

Another thing, if he wanders up on a coversation, no matter what is being discussed, he immediately, if he is given a chance, will try to change the subject. He automatically assumes that everyone is interested in what he is interested in, namely football (a particular college team.) It doesn't matter the conversation before.

Jeremy