|07-20-2009, 01:17 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Fort lauderdale, florida
Do you accept yourself as you are, or are you always "trying" to change?
You know, a work in progress? I've always wondered how to balance a life of liking who you are, yet still always striving to change your self for the better. Almost seems counter intuitive. It seems like a very strong belief to achieve. If you are perfect the way you are, then what's there to change? I've had that argument with my self many of times ( yes I talk to my self, you got a problem with it? ), and I haven't figured out a way to resolve the two opposing thought patterns.
I do want people ( girls especially) to like me for who I am, but I know that there are things that I wanna change. Does that mean I don't like my self for who I am? I like changing things, and making things change for the better. I get enjoyment out of it. If I want to change things, then how do I project to other people that I'm perfect the way I am?
|07-20-2009, 01:34 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
When you become content with who you are, you won't feel a need to show people that you are content. You'll realize that they will see it automatically by the way you assert yourself.
Also, keep in mind that the definitions of introvert/extrovert are as follow:
Introvert: Energy is drained by social interaction, being alone recharges you.
Extrovert: Energy is gained by social interaction, being alone drains you.
There is NOTHING within each of those definitions that says anything about social skills. Introverts and extroverts both crave social interaction, they just crave a DIFFERENT version of social interaction. Introverts like quiet get togethers between a few people. Extroverts like more active interactions, with lots of people.
So, first of all, I would stop using introversion as an excuse to hide away in a cave and not meet people. Check your beliefs, because if you feel like you can't/don't want to meet new people because of introversion, then it's not the introversion that is holding you back, it's a negative belief buried somewhere either in your conscious or subsconscious.
Secondly, you need to really discover who your are and first you must fall in love with yourself before you can expect others to love you for who you are. Do you really want to put up a facade because you are ashamed of who you are? Or do you want to assert yourself with confidence and attract those who are authentically like you or who are attracted to your natural self?
Finally, contentment has nothing to do with inaction. Being content with who you are does not mean you can't also strive for improvement. If you think that being content does that, then it's time to redefine contentment! Contentment is merely knowing who you are and loving your authentic self. You can still recognize that there are things about you that need to improve without beating yourself up because those things aren't perfect. And that's just it...you don't have to be in a particular "state" to realize that you are great just how you are.
|07-20-2009, 11:29 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2008
You need to be more secure. Stop focusing so much on yourself. Look outwards and lose yourself for a while.
You can never be anything other than yourself, although this 'self' is always and inevitably changing.
Getting a balance between not being self conscious (ie secure) and improving yourself - that's the trick!
|07-20-2009, 12:39 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Netherlands
You can accept who you are + like to change at the same time. It's like you said: YOU like to change, so changing is just another part of staying the same you. Get it? Ah well just enjoy life man don't think so much lol
|07-20-2009, 12:51 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
I'm a constant changing individual. I love learning, gaining abilities and discovering new things. Even if it's trying something out to find out it's not for me. Sometimes I can't change though, my teeth for example are a bit bent out of shape. I'd give anything for better teeth
|07-20-2009, 12:58 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Look at this, Steve already made a post about this very thing Self-Acceptance vs. Personal Growth .
What I've come to see is that they aren't mutually exclusive. You must 1. be satisfied with who you are as a human being, and 2. be ever desiring to grow.
They aren't mutually exclusive and I find great joy and satisfaction in what I am today, and what I'm doing to grow. People sense that contentment in you when it is genuine. You can't fake contentment and fool healthy people. Not for long anyhow.
I personnally find myself alot like you. I like to improve things and change things so that they are better. And there is always something better out there. But if I were to be trapped and remain unchanged for the rest of my life I would be content.
|07-20-2009, 03:37 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC
I love this quote from Anne Lamott:
God loves you right where you are, and loves you too much to let you stay that way.
I can love myself for all my neuroses and self doubt and stuckness - AND work to change those. I don't have to be some perceived-perfect version of a human to love myself.
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