What would be the right action?

[sniperlat]

Hey!

I have a problem.
I had always been the smartest, prettiest, most talented, etc. kid in the class.
Spirit of the party, awesome social skills, natural talent for most of the things I do. Rich, loving parents, great trustworthy friends. I started reading self-help books when I was 14. Now I am 24.

But there is a problem. My father went broke when I was 18 and he died a year ago. I became depressed and when I was not getting any money from my parents I wanted to earn some myself but I have failed to do it for 6 continuous years. I tried to apply for a job but I quit after 6 months (although I even got promoted and was one of the best salesman) because I was always taught to think big and I don't see a way to become rich in a paid job (in our country that is not possible actualy cause 2k/month salary is superb an you need 10 years of experience to earn that).
So i tried business, but failed, I even tried stealing but got caught. I settled on music production since I have some talents and I invested 10k hours into developing my skill. I got contaced by a local record agency to make a soundtrack project, but because of the economical crisis it got cancelled 2 months before release. Needles to say I didn't get paid anything. I am now trying to establish my own studio, but I can't seem to get any clients.
In those rare times I manage to make even at least money to eat outside my home I feel like I am flying but those times are so rare...
I hope I managed to describe the situation. I am ready to work on my personality, but I can't seem to find what is wrong other than my utter disgust for working in a paid job... Although I understand it is my absolute responsibility I feel like god hates me...

I would appreciate very much if someone, who understands the situation or people like me or has been in a similar situation (rich childhood, but then money goes away and you just cant get back there) could give me an advice about which qualities or issues should I work on.

A big thanks for these forums and Steve Pavlina. I recommended your site to all my friends and you turn lives around!

Edgars

[sniperlat]

Sorry, I forgot to mention that during my depression I used a lot of marihuana and I have found out that although I understand my capabilities, I do not love myself because I can not reach goals.

[CoolBee]

[quote]I hope I managed to describe the situation. I am ready to work on my personality, but I can't seem to find what is wrong other than my utter disgust for working in a paid job... Although I understand it is my absolute responsibility I feel like god hates me..." [/unquote]

How about working in an unpaid job?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by sniperlat

Hey!

I have a problem.
I had always been the smartest, prettiest, most talented, etc. kid in the class.
Spirit of the party, awesome social skills, natural talent for most of the things I do. Rich, loving parents, great trustworthy friends. I started reading self-help books when I was 14. Now I am 24.

But there is a problem. My father went broke when I was 18 and he died a year ago. I became depressed and when I was not getting any money from my parents I wanted to earn some myself but I have failed to do it for 6 continuous years. I tried to apply for a job but I quit after 6 months (although I even got promoted and was one of the best salesman) because I was always taught to think big and I don't see a way to become rich in a paid job (in our country that is not possible actualy cause 2k/month salary is superb an you need 10 years of experience to earn that).
So i tried business, but failed, I even tried stealing but got caught. I settled on music production since I have some talents and I invested 10k hours into developing my skill. I got contaced by a local record agency to make a soundtrack project, but because of the economical crisis it got cancelled 2 months before release. Needles to say I didn't get paid anything. I am now trying to establish my own studio, but I can't seem to get any clients.
In those rare times I manage to make even at least money to eat outside my home I feel like I am flying but those times are so rare...
I hope I managed to describe the situation. I am ready to work on my personality, but I can't seem to find what is wrong other than my utter disgust for working in a paid job... Although I understand it is my absolute responsibility I feel like god hates me...

I would appreciate very much if someone, who understands the situation or people like me or has been in a similar situation (rich childhood, but then money goes away and you just cant get back there) could give me an advice about which qualities or issues should I work on.

A big thanks for these forums and Steve Pavlina. I recommended your site to all my friends and you turn lives around!

Edgars

Jeez, now that's a lot of ego in several paragraphs

Okay.. I'll take a shot..

Questionnaire first...

1. Do you accept responsibility for the reality your creating.. or you think it's all coincidence?
2. If you’re going 55 mph in a 35 mph zone should you stop at the crosswalk?

Well, let's see it's obvious you have quite a few beliefs going here.. let me help indentify some..
1. "was always taught to think big" - the idea that you have to over perform = belief
2. "my utter disgust for working in a paid job" - the idea that a job is beneath = belief and bad LOA.. (pushing against something makes it stronger)

Here is my suggestions..
- Embrace that which you claim to fear/hate go get a job.. just for a week to prove you don't hate it.. and when you’re doing it looking for positive/neutral perspectives throughout..
- As for manifesting abundance aka.. money/work you need to work on understanding that the entire world is you.. that which you want is already created.. you need to work on YOU getting out of your own way..

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by sniperlat

...
Although I understand it is my absolute responsibility I feel like god hates me...

Have you considered forgiving yourself?

I recognize your desperation. Usually it means you are just in front of a breakthrough. I wish you courage to take the next step.

[sniperlat]

Thanks for the advice.
The belief thing is pretty powerful imho, but I can't seem to find a way to change such deep beliefs even when I understand they are faulty. They still keep affecting my life and setting me back. Is there any method (except hypnosis) to make myself believe in whatever I counciously decide to?

[sniperlat]

I tried to keep repeating that I forgive myself and love myself for half an hour every day for a month... nothing much has changed, i still have a desperate need for acceptance by others.

[CoolBee]

Instead of 'affirmations' that you don't really believe, try 'afformations' where you ask yourself questions.
So, instead of saying "I forgive myself and love myself" (to which something deep inside you is going 'yes right course you do - ha') you say instead "why have I forgiven myself and why do I love myself" (other ways of framing questions are possible).

An article about it:

Afformations: The Key That Unlocks “The Secret” (Part 1 of 2)

[jamesbiz]

I gotta ask one thing. 10k hours?

This situation is also one of the main reasons that I tell people they should not spoil their kids. Giving your kids everything they ever wanted might sound great, but it doesn't help them at all. You just make them dependent on you, even to the point where doing anything but being dependent on your parents almost seems disgusting for you ( ie. working for your money).


Also, you are using your ego to go towards goals that are beyond your means. Tone it down a little. Almost everyone has to start from some place small. Only some people are capable of jumping right to the top, but you have shown your self that you need to slow down.

Also " god" doesn't hate you. While I don't believe in a god my self, nothing that I have read of any religion would even suggest that your god would hate you or do something because of hate. YOU are in control of everything that happens in your life, or at least what you choose to do with those happenings. Sure you can't control your dad dying, but you can control how you react to it. Take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Don't blame anyone else, let alone god.