30 Day Trial--No Internet Forum Posting

[cylon]

Recently I find myself saying lots of hurtful things to people here that don't really deserve it, and I know that it's probably the shame I feel that I can't stop posting on these damned internets. I'm taking it out on my fellow posters when it's really my problem, not theirs. Which means, it's time for a change.

In the last several months I've been struggling to make positive, healthy decisions for my life, from quitting smoking, to getting regular exercise, to going out more and meeting new people, to not watching the negative media and the doom and gloom "news", and seems like this is the natural progression.

I just want to say a word to the people who approach this place in the way I did, (if you are a healthy, well rounded, socially active person who is living your dreams, this isn't directed at you)

The internet can be one big life substitute. Instead of going out and making friends, lonely people make "internet friends" instead as a way of avoiding the unknown dangers of the outside world.

There is no substitute for looking in someone's eyes, and being in their physical presence. We are social creatures who need to be close to others. If online forums were a good substitute, you wouldn't have so many threads by people on how lonely they are.

And if you are a perfectionist like me, posting on the internet is a marvelous way to distract yourself from taking action on the projects in life that give life real meaning. For me, those projects are writing music and creating graphic art, and improving my skills in those areas. It is not uncommon for me to "intend" to write a song, then magically get lost in some pointless forum debate, wasting several hours in one go.

And if you are trying to get to the point where your ego is not calling all the shots, compulsively feeling the need to "express your opinion" on every topic under the sun, probably doesn't help.

So those are some of the lessons I've learned being a professional forum poster for several years: it's a waste of time,

UNLESS: a) the advice you get online you take to heart and actually follow through with, or
b) you have all your ducks in a row and are giving advice out from the kindness of your own heart, but it's not from a place of need or lack.

The reason I'm not just quitting forum posting (not to mention regular wasteful web surfing) is if I do "slip" I will end up hating myself and feeling like a failure, like when you have a cigarette after two months clean. You feel bad, and I'm not going to put myself through that. So I'll do the 30 Day Trial method.

Ideally, it will be longer, and this could very likely be my last post. If it isn't, I hope that when I DO come back, it's more from a place of literally living my dreams, and not theorizing or speculating on what that must be like.

Take it easy.

[aggie]

not a total loss...seems like you learned a lot about yourself, and a lot insight to offer others.

everyone has their reasons for being here...i personally like the volley of opinions and interaction at least verbally with a myriad of individuals.

everyone gets their buttons pushed occasionally and i guess you need good sense of humor sometimes.

i was very impressed with what is for now your last post.

i wish you well.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by cylon

...it's a waste of time, UNLESS: ...

Well, yes, or unless one has an entirely different, and not-time-wasting, purpose for posting here, one that you, cylon, aren't aware of. Everybody does what they do out of a positive purpose, even if you can't see what that is (and even if you don't think it's all that positive ).

But if it's a compulsion, or if you're projecting your shame or hurt onto others, I agree that it's probably a good time to take a step back. I think it would be even more valuable to you if you use this experience to learn how to express yourself fully on any or every topic under the sun without having there be shame or hurt present, not making the opinions or beliefs of others mean anything about yourself, feeling free of having your buttons pushed, so that you're powerful and effective in getting the results you want in "real life" -- socializing, finding a mate, promoting your creative efforts -- which would all benefit, I think, from your feeling good regardless of the thoughts, words, or actions of others. But just interrupting the pattern is great, too.

So those are some of the lessons I've learned being a professional forum poster for several years:

You've been making money all this time from forum posting?

I've enjoyed having conversations with you, and wish you the very best in your future.

[Remiel]

So you'll be posting here every day to let us know how it goes, right? Oh wait....


In all seriousness good for you for taking a look at yourself and choosing to grow. I wish you success in your journey.