In a mess, failed uni.

[almost]

Hi guys/girls

I really dont know how to say it, I am in such a mess right now, I just got my results from uni, im in second year first semester and I failed, nothing went right this year, im just so stuck, need some advice.

Firstly, I failed my uni in second year, I honestly really dont know what to do now, I got the retakes, but at such short time (its in july), and in the mess im in right now, I doubt I will have a chance to pass it, this is not because im giving up, but its because I am somewhat ill right now, to a degree it affects my studies, partially why I failed.

I am really in a situation where I dont know what to do, I honestly could jump off a cliff if I didn’t know its wrong, but I need a solution, just mind is so messed right now ill explain everything because im having problems in every part of my life right now, could you lot please advice me, id really appreciate it.

I know the exact reasons I failed, I just got diagnosed with an illness, nothing serious, just on some medication and all. Towards my exam times and end of semester, I dont know why, but my stupid body decides to trigger then, which makes me go in and out of hospital, actually I was in hospital for two weeks just two weeks ago, that is one thing know effected my studies, but I cant use that as a reason because the university does not accept “long term illnesses” as a reason for failure, which I understand to some extent.

When I was in uni, I had to work, most of the time, more than 16 hours, I had to do this, im not well off in the financial sense, and I dont want to ask anyone for money, never will, thats why I worked my ass off, I knew it was messing up my studies to some extent, but I could not take out another loan, I needed to do this, I dont regret it because I had to, but I still have no money because I had to help mom with bills and give her some money, so im 0 for 0 right now.

I know some of you might think this is another reason, but I dont think so because she really helped me a lot the first year, helped me pass and get through things. But I want to marry my partner, been together for 2 years, shes traditional girl, so she wants everything serious or nothing If you know what I mean. But for me to be able to marry her, I need to learn her language (to be accepted by her parents), save up money, get a good job and get a good degree (again to be accepted), but all seems to be down the drain now.

My parents and siblings, im the oldest in the family, been a lab mice really, my parents keep pressuring me to do well, and I want to so there happy, plus I want to set a good example for the younger ones, but man, ive never been able to do anything I want! I dont know how am going to break it to them, or anyone else really.

Im sorry I am I sound like a little boy right now, but im just having a moments of indecisiveness, I hope you lot can help. I just dont want to screw up anyones life.

Im worried more about the education/financial side of things at the moment, the problem is, the longer education is, the more money I spend, im willing that investment, but considering everything in its context I dont know what to do.

Im considering dropping out for my uni and going to another one, I dont know, I really need to do something.

I forgot the question I was going to ask now, well considering everything I said, can u lot please give me some words of wisdom because im going to need it, tomorrow might be getting my ass kicked or brain will be getting waves of negative energy from people around me.

I am in a mess I know, but I know there is a solution, just finding it hard to come up with some at the moment, i cant even sleep anymore these days, but i just need to do something!!!!

Your advices would be much appreciated, esp regarding the education/work part.

Thank you in advance again.

[Beuford]

Well I think you need to decide what it is you are going to do in the future, where you want to be and what you want for a living. It's no good going through uni for something you don't really want, just because you think it's going to be good for money. So you really need to decide, then work out how it is going to work out. As you've said, you are getting treated for the illness so hopefully you can keep that out of the way. Perhaps you can get a good job without going to university? Just remember, you are in the control of your life, so don't let other people make bad decisions for you.

[CoolBee]

I don't know what country you are in, but have you got something like a School Counsellor you can talk to?

I know nowadays in the UK, universities bend over backwards to help people who are having problems of one sort or another - health, relationships, finance whatever - but you need to tell them, they don't instantly know.

While I was doing my PhD, one of my jobs was invigilating the 'special needs' exams - these were where people with, say, dyslexia had an extra 10 minutes per hour of exam time, or people with particular medical conditions (or severe stress conditions) were allowed to have 'time out' for exercise or relief, so a 2 hour exam would still be 2 hours, but they might have a (supervised) exercise session if they needed physical therapy of some sort so I used a stopwatch to ensure they had exactly the 2 hours in front of the paper.

People with particular stress conditions (like panic attacks) were allowed to take their exams on their own with just me in the room and if they had an attack, again, I would stop the watch until they felt able to resume.

I can understand the uni not accepting a long-term medical condition (because if you have had it for years, then you will have learnt to function with it) but it sounds like you had an 'acute onset' just at exam time so they may accept that?

Maybe you can redo the whole year instead of taking resits in July? That would take a bit of stress off you.

[CLKFTW]

Agree with CoolBee. Talk to your student counsellor. I would be surprised if they don't accomodate you if you give them a valid doctor's note.

You seem to have a lot on your plate. I don't know if marriage is such a good idea right now (I'm assuming that you are really young). JMO of course.

[seeker5]

Can't really help you there, but I have a comment to make.

I know the exact reasons I failed, I just got diagnosed with an illness, nothing serious, just on some medication and all. Towards my exam times and end of semester, I dont know why, but my stupid body decides to trigger then, which makes me go in and out of hospital, actually I was in hospital for two weeks just two weeks ago

Maybe the stress was getting to your body? Workng 16 hour days, going to school, and the pressure you're under to make everything right to marry your girlfriend and get approval from her parents?

Best wishes.

[Aleksander Krstic]

Originally Posted by almost

I know some of you might think this is another reason, but I dont think so because she really helped me a lot the first year, helped me pass and get through things. But I want to marry my partner, been together for 2 years, shes traditional girl, so she wants everything serious or nothing If you know what I mean. But for me to be able to marry her, I need to learn her language (to be accepted by her parents), save up money, get a good job and get a good degree (again to be accepted), but all seems to be down the drain now.

You don't need to be accepted by any1 else than yourself.

My parents and siblings, im the oldest in the family, been a lab mice really, my parents keep pressuring me to do well, and I want to so there happy, plus I want to set a good example for the younger ones, but man, ive never been able to do anything I want! I dont know how am going to break it to them, or anyone else really.

Again, stop trying to prove yourself to others.

Im sorry I am I sound like a little boy right now, but im just having a moments of indecisiveness, I hope you lot can help. I just dont want to screw up anyones life.

You are not a little boy. And you are not going to screw any1's life.

Im worried more about the education/financial side of things at the moment, the problem is, the longer education is, the more money I spend, im willing that investment, but considering everything in its context I dont know what to do.

Im considering dropping out for my uni and going to another one, I dont know, I really need to do something.

I forgot the question I was going to ask now, well considering everything I said, can u lot please give me some words of wisdom because im going to need it, tomorrow might be getting my ass kicked or brain will be getting waves of negative energy from people around me.

I am in a mess I know, but I know there is a solution, just finding it hard to come up with some at the moment, i cant even sleep anymore these days, but i just need to do something!!!!

Your advices would be much appreciated, esp regarding the education/work part.

Thank you in advance again.

You might think you are going through hell, but this experience will only make you stronger.

Also, I've been through the same situation as you twice, only I'm in senior highschool, but I kept thinking positively and they let me forward because of my poor mental health and my disciplinary record(behavior).

I'm not saying they'll let you forward at an uni, but keep thinking positively and everything will turn out fine!

[ZHereford]

It definitely sounds like you have too much going on and are therefore feeling pressure and stress.

Maybe it's time to prioritize and break things down into smaller more manageable chunks. Few could do everything you're trying to do and pass uni at the same time. If your schooling is a priority right now, then concentrate on that. Everything else can wait.

All the best to you!