30 days without masturbation or pornography

[JaredR]

I hate the fact that these are compulsive behaviors, so for the next 30 days I am going to go without masturbating or looking at pornography. My goal is to weaken these habits and hopefully set myself up for giving them up totally. I originally intended on starting today, but I already ruined it. Let that tell you how little control I exercise over these behaviors.

I understand that there are benefits to masturbation. I am giving it up for spiritual reasons only. I don't mean to start a debate about whether masturbation is appropriate or healthy.

Wish me luck. I have a feeling this fight is going to take everything out of me (well, almost everything ).

[MiBeloved]

MiBeloved’s Response:
Will power and self-pledging may not be enough to terminate these habits. After all sexual exposure is naturally attractive and the urge to expel semen from the body is impulsive. These things are more than just choice. It is also environment. Pornography is a visual environment which triggers mental and emotional energies in our bodies. Thus, if we look at pornography it leads to sexual needs. But if we do not look at it, if decide not to see it any more, the question arises as to why we viewed it in the first place, because unless we figure that out we are likely to be drawn back into it against our will.
Why is pornography attractive in the first place? And why does our initial attraction to it lead to addiction? Right now worldwide there are literally millions of males who are hooked on pornography? Were we always like this or is this just because of Internet availability?
Masturbation is a separate issue but it is related. First of all thinking about sex, day dreaming about it, is all a subtle form of pornography. It is not a well-developed form like videos, but it is perhaps the most primitive creative form of it, where the mind itself creates the pornographic script and plays it out to our intuition. After such thinking, we are induced by the body itself, to have sex or to masturbate. So unless we can unlock the secrets of these primitive processes, there is no hope that we can actually terminate these habits.

[aggie]

i am a woman...but not unknown to the issue of pornography and maturabation....from partners i have been with....i think it is something that is always going to be there...i think there can be an expected, natural, healthy amount of it...but imo...men are almost doomed...some at least...and i think it is directly related to the internet...before at least it was a bit more private and discreet...but the pop ups are numerous and tempting i am sure and all it takes is one look...how many men, even at work are diddling at their computers....

[themaster]

Masturbation = Judged dirty once again..

I don't think on a inclusive, holistic level that masturbation is dirty.. therefore I think in this limited universe.. your 30 day goal is to be "limiting"

I don't think long/short term that, that kind of goal will necessarily help you focus or change in a good way.. but good luck anyway.. even limitation can be seen in a positive way if you look for it..

[Dot]

JaredR, I'd suggest you explore this more. Write more of your thoughts and process here. Because, I suspect, you understand very little about what you're wanting to accomplish here, and even less about how to actually go about it.

What are your "spiritual reasons" for not masturbating? Do you have any background or understanding of any maps/systems on physical/emotional/mental/spiritual energies - and how they interact?

Do you understand compulsive behavior, and the mechanisms behind them?

[MetaFitX]

Good luck. I just began my own "30 Day Challenge" with respect to this issue as well today! I'll check in to support ya bro.

[GuideMySpirit]

I don't think it's naturally, we have an article up on our site on that exact issue from previous research that we did, relating it both to the physical background and spiritual background.

There is no information I can find to date of any place that says masturbation is a natural process and is fine to do.

In general what I think is it's not the masturbation that is wrong to do but the lusting of the human body, which isn't what we actually are. You become very attached to the body itself and forget who you are in spirit.

It can be related to weed, many say that they can quit at any time but do they ever? Most don't, although some who truly remember their true selfs do.

This also ties in with pornography, and how it attaches and creates lust in your mind with all that you watch. Many even become addicted to it, but people think its normal as well because it was being done for so many years.

Eventually people will take smoking as 'natural' too? It's in the same concept because your mind craves it, much like your mind craves and lusts for masturbation and pornography.

[aggie]

i suppose to those of us who do not associate masturbation with pornography and don't have a real strong need or want for it, it could be considered not natural....but it is kind of a difficult thing to fight...within reason...some of it we just have to rise above and not have it affect us personally. if it becomes between people and having a halfway normal sex life in relationship to the point of obsession or even addiction...that is another story that all parties involved have to examine...

[alainplus]

JaredR, MetaFitx, and now me!

We need one more person to join to form the Seinfield tetrad. I wish we could make this more interesting.

Like first one to quit donates within a week
$20 dollars to a charity of your choosing

2 weeks
$30

3 weeks
$40

4 weeks
$40

Whoever makes it
$10

I'll personally abide by this and post a screenshot of my receipt. Anyone who wants to join feel free!

I've been master of my domain since 3:30am this morning! Act first, analyze later. Whenever I feel like it, I guess I do pullups or some pushups. Let's hope I'm not in New York City anytime soon!

[Angela]

As you practice letting go of the compulsive behavior, is there a new, positive behavior or state that you are willing to take on -- one that would work better in living a life you love, one that would inspire you to go towards?

I find it's a lot easier and more powerful to go towards what I want, as I move away from what I don't want.

[aggie]

i like that philosophy

[alainplus]

As you practice letting go of the compulsive behavior, is there a new, positive behavior or state that you are willing to take on -- one that would work better in living a life you love, one that would inspire you to go towards?

Like?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by alainplus

Like?

Are you asking me, or the OP? It would have to be something that inspires and motivates the OP, and I don't really know enough about him to speculate what that might be.

If I were to have a compulsion I wanted to be free of, I would ask myself, what would I be enjoying (DOING) in that space of freedom? What would not-doing that compulsive behavior provide for me? And keep asking that question until I find a really inspiring behavior that I could try on for 30 days -- something that might work really well as a habit going forward.

[ballhit2]

I hope you have your handcuffs handy and have scrambled the characters in your wireless router password!

Also abandon all tight-fitting pants for this month.

[alainplus]

Are you asking me, or the OP? It would have to be something that inspires and motivates the OP, and I don't really know enough about him to speculate what that might be.

Well, I joined the OP and another poster in the challenge. I think I'll just exercise more than I do now and see what happens.

[Dot]

Originally Posted by alainplus

Well, I joined the OP and another poster in the challenge. I think I'll just exercise more than I do now and see what happens.

Ha! You'll just build up more energy, feel even sexier and more alive - and shoot bigger loads. hahaha! Enjoy : )

[MetaFitX]

Alainplus, now how we would monitor something like that?

I think it would be better if we just supported each other. My own 30 Day Challenge with respect to this also extends to not just masturbation but even looking at pornography.

I have tried this once before (IIRC I lasted around 10 days) and my mood and energy level went through the absolute roof!

BTW, whenever I get the urge I do the same thing as you, pushups, pullups or dips.

[JaredR]

I should have explained my motives more openly. It's just that my reasons for doing this are unorthodox in the PD community (then again, we're all unorthodox in the PD community ). Hopefully after this post it will be a little more clear why I'm doing this.

Originally Posted by Dot

JaredR, I'd suggest you explore this more. Write more of your thoughts and process here. Because, I suspect, you understand very little about what you're wanting to accomplish here, and even less about how to actually go about it.

What are your "spiritual reasons" for not masturbating? Do you have any background or understanding of any maps/systems on physical/emotional/mental/spiritual energies - and how they interact?

I became a Christian a month ago, and these activities are holding me back from a deeper relationship with God. They also violate the moral teachings of my faith. Basically, when I masturbate or look at pornography I feel like I am putting myself before God.

Do you understand compulsive behavior, and the mechanisms behind them?

I'm sure I'm not using the term correctly, but for me maturbation and pornography are things that I don't want to participate in, yet I can't seem to say no.

Originally Posted by Angela

As you practice letting go of the compulsive behavior, is there a new, positive behavior or state that you are willing to take on -- one that would work better in living a life you love, one that would inspire you to go towards?

I find it's a lot easier and more powerful to go towards what I want, as I move away from what I don't want.

Thank you, that is a valuable insight. I think in a way I am hoping to replace the pleasure of lust with the pleasure of God. It feels weird speaking "Christianese" here, but what I mean is that I will dedicate more time to devotion and prayer to have the strength to do this, and in the end I want happiness that comes from God, not my body.

Originally Posted by MetaFitX

Good luck. I just began my own "30 Day Challenge" with respect to this issue as well today! I'll check in to support ya bro.

Thanks! I will be keeping a daily log here (I start tomorrow). Good luck to you too.

[Kanzeon]

Personally, I would think that giving up masturbation is about as productive and important as masturbation itself: that is, not at all.

You might try limiting yourself to less than whatever it is you do currently (no, I don't want to know the details), rather than cold turkey.

But, it sounds like your goal is to give it up permanently. That's fine, but then why fool yourself that it's only 30 days?

[JaredR]

Originally Posted by Kanzeon

But, it sounds like your goal is to give it up permanently. That's fine, but then why fool yourself that it's only 30 days?

Mentally, 30 days seems a lot easier to chew than a lifetime. On day 31, I hope I will have built up enough momentum to stay with it.

[dulaney0330]

I am also a Christian and I find it admirable that you are embarking on this new challenge.

Here is a great verse to ponder on:

1 Corinthians 6:12 – “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ – but I will not be mastered by anything.

Blessings to you!

[Dot]

Originally Posted by JaredR

I became a Christian a month ago, and these activities are holding me back from a deeper relationship with God. They also violate the moral teachings of my faith. Basically, when I masturbate or look at pornography I feel like I am putting myself before God.

Ah, OK, so now we're getting somewhere. This really has nothing to with having a wank or looking at nakey things.

What you're really saying, and thinking, and wanting is - a deeper relationship with God. So, why are you putting anything in the way of God? Because God will accept you just as you are, where you are. And as you draw closer and nearer to God, God will draw nearer to you. And God will begin to work in your mind, and heart, and body.

So, in the meantime, don't try to be perfect. And stop trying to tell yourself what you think God wants and what God doesn't want. And allow God to come into your heart and do God's work on you.

Who's "moral teachings" are you interested in? Man's? Has God spoken to you and told you you couldn't have a wank sometimes? God gave you a beautiful healthy body - and it serves as the temple of your soul. Your body is there for you to use as an instrument - to work, to play, to enjoy. Enjoy your body. Be thankful for your body.

And while we're at it - as a Christian, the deeper relationship you could focus on - would be with Christ. In fact, this topic could more accurately be titled, "30 days in my deepening relationship with Christ." Work on that. Talk about that. Focus on that.

My 2¢.

[JaredR]

Originally Posted by Dot

Who's "moral teachings" are you interested in? Man's? Has God spoken to you and told you you couldn't have a wank sometimes? God gave you a beautiful healthy body - and it serves as the temple of your soul. Your body is there for you to use as an instrument - to work, to play, to enjoy. Enjoy your body. Be thankful for your body.

This is something I can't continue to let slide. I am converting to Catholicism, and I believe its moral teachings come from God. This is an issue of learning to obey God.

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

I am also a Christian and I find it admirable that you are embarking on this new challenge.

Here is a great verse to ponder on:

1 Corinthians 6:12 – “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ – but I will not be mastered by anything.

Blessings to you!

Thank you! That is a cool verse. I'll have to remember that.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by JaredR

I think in a way I am hoping to replace the pleasure of lust with the pleasure of God. ... I will dedicate more time to devotion and prayer to have the strength to do this, and in the end I want happiness that comes from God, not my body.

Don't forget, your body comes from God!

Are you interested in digging a little further, to get deeper into your heart's desire here, your focus? If you are, ask yourself, "the pleasure of God, devotion and prayer, and the happiness that comes from God, all of that, for what purpose? What will that give me?"

What I'm suggesting you would get from that question is your core value -- the laser-focus -- that will give you tremendous power and strength in getting where you want to go. Whatever that core value is, I'm quite confident that God wants it for you, too. Does that interest you?

[rocketman]

i have been trying this for a while now to no avail. i have 10 day streaks where i dont do it and then i give in and then go on binges where i do it like 3X a day for a week.

my purpose for this is in trying to see some correlation between energy levels and masturbation and i have not yet been able to discern anything definitive. i am in the middle of a binge right now and feel overall exhausted but at the same time, i have been drinking alot of coke and just recently gave up coffee so there are too many variables to make any conclusions.

[Daffy Duck]

If your goal is a closer relationship with Christ, then it would be helpful to have many things to focus on to achieve that. Giving up masturbation can be one of your mini-goals, but to achieve your ultimate goal, I'm sure there are many other things you can be focusing on as well, such as:

1. Daily prayer, maybe 15 minutes a day or so.
2. Daily Bible reading. Try one chapter a day at first.
3. Daily devotional.

And so on. You can surely think of the best list for yourself, but I'm just throwing out some general ideas. If you keep your mind focused on things to do, you may find that you stop doing things you don't want to do (like masturbation) automatically.

[JaredR]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

If your goal is a closer relationship with Christ, then it would be helpful to have many things to focus on to achieve that. Giving up masturbation can be one of your mini-goals, but to achieve your ultimate goal, I'm sure there are many other things you can be focusing on as well, such as:

1. Daily prayer, maybe 15 minutes a day or so.
2. Daily Bible reading. Try one chapter a day at first.
3. Daily devotional.

And so on. You can surely think of the best list for yourself, but I'm just throwing out some general ideas. If you keep your mind focused on things to do, you may find that you stop doing things you don't want to do (like masturbation) automatically.

Yes, these are things I have already incorporated into my life (except the devotional). Thank you for the reminder. I can use these things to my advantage.

[aggie]

yes God made our bodies...but not to abuse them....i am not saying that masturbation is necessarily abuse...or if someone believes it is ok on any level, that is fine for them...no judging or stone throwing. nor do i feel one will be condemnened for masturbating...and yes i am sure God is tolerant and understanding of someone trying to deal with it and maybe even overcome it. going for a spell of success, than falling off the wagon so to speak is not something to berate yourself about...it is part of the growing process...whatever that speed and outcome will be for you personally based on what you feel your relationship with God or Jesus is...asking for guidance and doing your part..you will be helped with the rest....some people may need to do it by just stopping completely...but it may need to be a more gradual process for others...you will find your way.

[GuideMySpirit]

I agree as long as there is a start, there doesn't have to be a finish, one who keeps it up for 30 days can keep it up for a lot longer because that aspect within your mind simply fades away.

[JaredR]

Day 1: Success

Effortless (let's see how long that lasts ). Early morning saw some light temptation, but I was able to direct my thoughts to prayer. I've noticed I often have sexual dreams, which could be a challenge down the road.