Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Will Edwards · 06-23-2009, 06:58 AM

The good news Jared is that you are in touch with your higher self. It is your higher-self that is speaking in this post: it is the part of you that wants to give-up; and it is your lower-self that continues to want to indulge in gratification.

So continue to have the dialogue with your higher-self. You want more of your higher-self - and less of your lower-self - to occupy your thoughts. Then, ultimately, the behaviours you don't want will discontinue naturally.

Will

JaredR · 06-24-2009, 03:11 AM

Day 4: Success

Day 5: Success

There were several times today where I thought it would be nice to give up. Not a serious desire, just a wistful remembrance of how fun these things were.

I am becoming more of aware of the use of sex in TV shows, commercials, and movies. Ha!

JaredR · 06-24-2009, 12:09 PM

Day 6: Failed

Wow. It is excruciating to post this because I was doing so well. I'm still kind of in denial. Last night I got up in the middle of the night and found myself masturbating (the Devil made me do it?

). I am humiliated and discouraged, but I am trying to be kind to myself because "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1.

Masturbation has always been more than physical pleasure for me. I connect highly with the fantasies involved, and I have always imagined up stories with specific people that are as much about emotional intimacy as pleasure. It feels so weird talking about this, but I'm trying to explore this more. I speculated from the beginning that my need for intimacy could be filled by an intimacy with Christ. I guess I'm not doing so well with that because at the end of the day I still feel the desire for connection that I'm not getting through my faith. I know that my desire is not strictly sexual, but that is the only way I know how to try to meet it. I feel like part of my sexual "need" is just a perversion of my emotional need.

I have to go, I might post more later tonight. I am going to start over at day 1. I really want to have an uninterrupted 30 days under my belt (no pun intended

).

Daffy Duck · 06-24-2009, 02:08 PM

Examine your thoughts to see why you could have failed and then try again. When you fall off the whores, get back on! Good luck next time.

findinginspiration · 06-24-2009, 02:37 PM

I am one who could use some improvement in self-discipline and a couple weeks ago I took on the exact same challenge. 30 days, one month, zero porn or masterbating. I was laid off not to long ago and will not be starting my new job for a few weeks. Lots of idol time = too much temptation to waste time watching porn.

It was harder than I thought - And I caved after 2 weeks. To me, it's more a waste of time than anything else.

Dot · 06-24-2009, 05:59 PM

JaredR, what has changed in you is that you are beginning to wake up. Your journey and discovery are beginning to become conscious. And consciousness is nothing other than light. By allowing the light of God to shine on what was once dark and unexamined places within you - you are going through the process towards a much deeper relationship with God - which, on further examination, is the true original reason for your 30-day challenge here.

Continue working on that. Continue talking about that. Continue focusing on that.

Talkofthatown919 · 06-26-2009, 12:53 AM

I have done this before..it was hard at first every time i would masturbate i would start over it truly let me gain more control over my mind and etc. Just make sure you stay busy doing things so you will not have time to.

brendannz · 06-26-2009, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaredR

Day 6: Failed
Masturbation has always been more than physical pleasure for me. I connect highly with the fantasies involved, and I have always imagined up stories with specific people that are as much about emotional intimacy as pleasure. It feels so weird talking about this, but I'm trying to explore this more. I speculated from the beginning that my need for intimacy could be filled by an intimacy with Christ. I guess I'm not doing so well with that because at the end of the day I still feel the desire for connection that I'm not getting through my faith. I know that my desire is not strictly sexual, but that is the only way I know how to try to meet it. I feel like part of my sexual "need" is just a perversion of my emotional need.

You might find that lots of people are masterbating over you without you being aware :P

donzx6 · 06-27-2009, 12:31 AM

For a 17 year old, you have plenty of time to master (no pun!) this

Kaybee · 06-27-2009, 01:53 AM

Jared,

I commend you. When I decided to deepen my relationship with God, there were things I vowed to give up. God is forgiving and accepts us with our flaws, but he does want us to obey. I suggest you add prayer and ask him to provide you the strength and willpower to succeed.

Kim
Self Improvement and Motivation
Fuel My Motivation.com

JaredR · 06-27-2009, 04:18 AM

Second try

Day 1: Success

ultimate · 06-30-2009, 12:11 AM

i have to do this too - at the moment i do it way too often/too much

garentee · 06-30-2009, 11:58 AM

Biology can be a tough thing to overcome...Its ok if you fail too... you have to fail sometimes in order to succeed..Best of luck to ya...

Virtue121 · 07-01-2009, 10:57 PM

Hi JaredR,

I refrained from masturbation starting a few months ago and it is not a problem. It will be for the whole of this lifetime. (I class it as ok if there is a woman present/participating though) I recommend a vegetarian diet and meditate on virtues such as dignity, patience and sobriety etc. Remember all virtues are within you.

Also visualize any false personal/cultural beliefs falling away from you etc.

I believe that people who end up so indulging end up feeding lower/negative entities with their lifeforce. It is better to respect and conserve your energies. Anyway good luck.

Nex · 07-01-2009, 11:52 PM

What's this? Seinfeld reruns?

MetaFitX · 07-02-2009, 03:10 AM

Are you still going strong bro?

I'll admit it is pretty tough. I lasted until Day 12. Hopefully, that will be my only slip-up for the rest of my 18 (now 16) days.

I have noticed a tangible, positive effect on my energy level and mood however. I think that after these 30 days I will be very much inclined to continue being celibate (being single and likewise, a Christian like yourself). Simultaneously, I have also been omitting pornography from my life, and although I have indulged in this slightly more I think its omission has also been a positive force.

JaredR · 07-03-2009, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaFitX

Are you still going strong bro?

I'll admit it is pretty tough. I lasted until Day 12. Hopefully, that will be my only slip-up for the rest of my 18 (now 16) days.

I have noticed a tangible, positive effect on my energy level and mood however. I think that after these 30 days I will be very much inclined to continue being celibate (being single and likewise, a Christian like yourself). Simultaneously, I have also been omitting pornography from my life, and although I have indulged in this slightly more I think its omission has also been a positive force.

Yeah, I've been going for a few days. I slipped up again since my last startover and I haven't been keeping track. I think I'm on day 3. This is way more difficult than I ever imagined it would be!

The good news is that last night I won a major battle. I just wanted to totally give up again, and I typed in the address of a porn website. I was an enter key away from returning to my vomit, but I stopped myself.

jamesbiz · 07-14-2009, 01:02 PM

Let me know when you start having wet dreams. Cause guess what?? That's what happens when you block up your body. Why would kids have wet dreams when they barely even know the meaning of sex or sexual desires? That doesn't sound like your god built that into humans? Something that happens at night, with out our control? You said that you have sexual dreams, and you are having trouble controlling those urges even while awake, so good luck trying to control your sexual desires while you sleep!

By the way. I've always wondered something about catholics, and as you are a christian trying to be catholic, maybe you can answer this for me.

How do you become a catholic and reconcile your self with this little part of the bible?

Quote:

Exodus 20:4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

JaredR · 09-12-2009, 01:24 AM

Hey everyone, I just wanted to report back in. I decided to ease up on my forum use a while ago, but I might start posting a little again.

The two big updates:

1. I haven't masturbated or looked at pornography in a long time. I stopped counting (which actually seems to help).

2. I have started the conversion process in the Catholic Church. This has been one of my goals for a while.

FazK · 09-12-2009, 09:27 AM

Good luck man the thing is that i have seen so many masturbation / porn thread on this board now it is starting to get a bit tiring. If you do a search you will find about three others that were started just in the last month. I am sure you will learn something from their attempts.

06-23-2009, 06:58 AM	#61 (permalink)
Will Edwards Banned Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: UK Posts: 126	Your Higher-Self The good news Jared is that you are in touch with your higher self. It is your higher-self that is speaking in this post: it is the part of you that wants to give-up; and it is your lower-self that continues to want to indulge in gratification. So continue to have the dialogue with your higher-self. You want more of your higher-self - and less of your lower-self - to occupy your thoughts. Then, ultimately, the behaviours you don't want will discontinue naturally. Will

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06-24-2009, 03:11 AM	#62 (permalink)
JaredR Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 274	Day 4: Success Day 5: Success There were several times today where I thought it would be nice to give up. Not a serious desire, just a wistful remembrance of how fun these things were. I am becoming more of aware of the use of sex in TV shows, commercials, and movies. Ha!

06-24-2009, 12:09 PM	#63 (permalink)
JaredR Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 274	Day 6: Failed Wow. It is excruciating to post this because I was doing so well. I'm still kind of in denial. Last night I got up in the middle of the night and found myself masturbating (the Devil made me do it? ). I am humiliated and discouraged, but I am trying to be kind to myself because "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1. Masturbation has always been more than physical pleasure for me. I connect highly with the fantasies involved, and I have always imagined up stories with specific people that are as much about emotional intimacy as pleasure. It feels so weird talking about this, but I'm trying to explore this more. I speculated from the beginning that my need for intimacy could be filled by an intimacy with Christ. I guess I'm not doing so well with that because at the end of the day I still feel the desire for connection that I'm not getting through my faith. I know that my desire is not strictly sexual, but that is the only way I know how to try to meet it. I feel like part of my sexual "need" is just a perversion of my emotional need. I have to go, I might post more later tonight. I am going to start over at day 1. I really want to have an uninterrupted 30 days under my belt (no pun intended ).

06-24-2009, 02:08 PM	#64 (permalink)
Daffy Duck Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,001	Examine your thoughts to see why you could have failed and then try again. When you fall off the whores, get back on! Good luck next time.

06-24-2009, 02:37 PM	#65 (permalink)
findinginspiration Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Dayton, OH Posts: 114	I am one who could use some improvement in self-discipline and a couple weeks ago I took on the exact same challenge. 30 days, one month, zero porn or masterbating. I was laid off not to long ago and will not be starting my new job for a few weeks. Lots of idol time = too much temptation to waste time watching porn. It was harder than I thought - And I caved after 2 weeks. To me, it's more a waste of time than anything else.

06-24-2009, 05:59 PM	#66 (permalink)
Dot Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 120	JaredR, what has changed in you is that you are beginning to wake up. Your journey and discovery are beginning to become conscious. And consciousness is nothing other than light. By allowing the light of God to shine on what was once dark and unexamined places within you - you are going through the process towards a much deeper relationship with God - which, on further examination, is the true original reason for your 30-day challenge here. Continue working on that. Continue talking about that. Continue focusing on that.

06-26-2009, 12:53 AM	#67 (permalink)
Talkofthatown919 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 261	I have done this before..it was hard at first every time i would masturbate i would start over it truly let me gain more control over my mind and etc. Just make sure you stay busy doing things so you will not have time to.

06-27-2009, 12:31 AM	#69 (permalink)
donzx6 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3	For a 17 year old, you have plenty of time to master (no pun!) this

06-27-2009, 01:53 AM	#70 (permalink)
Kaybee Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 112	Jared, I commend you. When I decided to deepen my relationship with God, there were things I vowed to give up. God is forgiving and accepts us with our flaws, but he does want us to obey. I suggest you add prayer and ask him to provide you the strength and willpower to succeed. Kim Self Improvement and Motivation Fuel My Motivation.com

06-27-2009, 04:18 AM	#71 (permalink)
JaredR Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 274	Second try Day 1: Success

06-30-2009, 12:11 AM	#72 (permalink)
ultimate Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 386	i have to do this too - at the moment i do it way too often/too much

06-30-2009, 11:58 AM	#73 (permalink)
garentee Family Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NEW ENGLAND!!!!!!! Posts: 1,701	Biology can be a tough thing to overcome...Its ok if you fail too... you have to fail sometimes in order to succeed..Best of luck to ya...

07-01-2009, 10:57 PM	#74 (permalink)
Virtue121 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 34	Hi JaredR, I refrained from masturbation starting a few months ago and it is not a problem. It will be for the whole of this lifetime. (I class it as ok if there is a woman present/participating though) I recommend a vegetarian diet and meditate on virtues such as dignity, patience and sobriety etc. Remember all virtues are within you. Also visualize any false personal/cultural beliefs falling away from you etc. I believe that people who end up so indulging end up feeding lower/negative entities with their lifeforce. It is better to respect and conserve your energies. Anyway good luck.

07-01-2009, 11:52 PM	#75 (permalink)
Nex Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 37	What's this? Seinfeld reruns?

07-02-2009, 03:10 AM	#76 (permalink)
MetaFitX Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Akron, Ohio, United States Posts: 41	Are you still going strong bro? I'll admit it is pretty tough. I lasted until Day 12. Hopefully, that will be my only slip-up for the rest of my 18 (now 16) days. I have noticed a tangible, positive effect on my energy level and mood however. I think that after these 30 days I will be very much inclined to continue being celibate (being single and likewise, a Christian like yourself). Simultaneously, I have also been omitting pornography from my life, and although I have indulged in this slightly more I think its omission has also been a positive force.

09-12-2009, 01:24 AM	#79 (permalink)
JaredR Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 274	Hey everyone, I just wanted to report back in. I decided to ease up on my forum use a while ago, but I might start posting a little again. The two big updates: 1. I haven't masturbated or looked at pornography in a long time. I stopped counting (which actually seems to help). 2. I have started the conversion process in the Catholic Church. This has been one of my goals for a while.

09-12-2009, 09:27 AM	#80 (permalink)
FazK Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 242	Good luck man the thing is that i have seen so many masturbation / porn thread on this board now it is starting to get a bit tiring. If you do a search you will find about three others that were started just in the last month. I am sure you will learn something from their attempts.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums