Tried Steve's life purpose-finding excersise, and i still need help deciding!

[Rockchick26]

I'm the worst decision maker. I am unemployed and I have to decide what I want to go to school for or what kind of job I should get, but every time I think I find something that I'd like, I find reasons why it wouldn't work. I've been picking my brain for 4 months about this (longer really, but i've only been out of work for 4 months so now I REALLY have been thinking about it). So I did that purpose-finding excersise and I'm still stuck! I rambled on for 2 hours. I'm thinking maybe I'm just too close to the situation to see what I need to see. Maybe somebody could read my ramblings and tell me if something is obvious but I just can't see it. So here it is...
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I want to for sure do something in music. I want to do so many things I can't decide which. I can't decide if I want a job where I can stay living here or where I travel a lot or where I have to live far away.

The times in my life when I am the happiest is when I'm at a concert and all the excitement leading up to it, the whole day. Especially when there are other people there with me. The whole feeling that we're all excited about this together, and you talk about it for weeks afterwards.

From a young age I always liked to type. I liked to type because I like sitting down to an empty piece of paper and making someone listen to what I had to say. But I don't know if I want to do this for a job because this is what I like to do at home when I'm relaxing, and I don't want to constantly be sitting all day at a computer. I also don't want to do the same exact thing for a job that I do from home, unless I could work from home. How do you do what you love for a job when things are only good in moderation? Is it wrong to do what you love for a job because then you would get burnt out from doing it too much? Most things I want to do involves sitting at a computer, and from being unemployed for 4 months I know that isn't good because that is all I do now and I get antsy and sore after a few hours, so I don't know how I could do most of the jobs I want to do because most of them involve sitting at a computer for long periods of time.

I used to write pen pal letters and poetry since I was very young. I've always been interested in typing/writing whether it was online or on paper. But the minute I do something I HAVE to do (not WANT to do) then I lose the spark.

I also used to want to be a dj so I could play songs for everyone, but I didn't want to talk. I just loved "pretending" that people could hear the songs I was playing, sharing all my awesome music with whoever wanted to listen.

Every time I hear music that moves me, I picture an image to go along with it. I can see everything that would happen while I listen to music, almost like I can see the music itself. I know what music goes with what emotion.

I want to work with the bands themselves. I would even be happy where I am working NEAR a band where I'm doing something related but not directly. But I dont want to ask them questions like a music journalist but I want to work with them. I want to work with a big group of people where we are all part of something exciting (making of a record or a concert). I also want to be able to work alone if I want to. I don't want a job where my hours and days are set. I don't want to have a lot of responsibility, or where I am under pressure to do something.

I'm afraid if I was a music journalist I would have to interview bands and that's my worst quality because I'm much more comfortable working with people on the same level rather than asking or answering questions. In the past when i've had jobs where people asked me questions it made me uncomfortable and I either wanted to be left alone or I only wanted to talk to people working alongside me. Likewise I don't like to ask questions either. All that implies a difference of level, and I want to be an equal to my co-workers.

I am afraid if I worked in the concert industry, I would be away from home for a long time and traveling would be tiring (i NEED at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep) and expensive for the little pay I would get. But then I wonder why do I care about how long I am gone when I don't need to see my family very often anyway, and I love to travel and see new places, and i'm bored with my life right now. So maybe I do want that kind of a job, I'm just too scared of change. But I do have the need for a secure home that is always there. I don't think I would like to be away from my house for more than a week at a time. I am an introvert and need to be alone more than I am with people, which makes me wonder why I have a desire to be a part of a group of people that works together. I don't want to be in a band though, because I don't have enough musical ability, I don't want to be famous, and I don't like a lot of attention on me.

I want to do a job where I'm not required to do it unless I want to or can wait until I have the right ideas to do it. I want to choose who I want to work with and what I will do. I want to be my own boss yet I want to work in a group where we are part of something amazing.

I'm afraid working in a music studio, I will have to work with music I don't like and wouldn't even want to finish it.

My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music. And to provide them with information about good music or provide the music itself.

I want to work alone if I want as well as in a group if I want. I want to be part of something yet I want to be left alone and do things myself. I want to work in a quiet secluded area, and I also want to work in a crowded high energy area.

I've always liked giving information to people and exchanging opinions, online or through the mail. I would love to run my own magazine or newspaper or e-zine or be a part of a music documentary team. I want to create a job that isn't there so there is no competition and I become in demand and can choose who I want to work with. I want to find new ways to make the music industry run more respectably and efficiently.

I'd love to create documentaries about bands but am not interested at all in the technical aspect of cameras and filmmaking, only the editing part. I'd prefer to put together my own video from someone else's videos and pictures.
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Sorry that was so long and thank you to anyone who read it all! If anyone has any insights or suggestions, please reply! thank you!!

[ssandra]

Hi,

I am very sure that other people could give you better advise but what stood out for me is the word AFRAID

You seem to use it a lot, and you seem to be afraid for a lot.

I had this problem before as well, what helped me to overcome this is to do 2 things:

1. ask (and answer) yourself what is the worst thing that can happen. And take it to the extreme. In the end you will see that most things are nothing to be afraid off.

2. A philosophy that really helped me (however depressed it may sound) is that everything will be ok eventually, and if it doesn´t than it won´t matter anymore anyway.

[MartinP]

Hi Rockchick!

Enjoyed reading your post!

Have you heard of T Harv Eker? In his book, he talks about Ready, Fire, Aim! In other words, sometimes you can't work it all out beforehand. You might just have to pull the trigger, see if your aim was ok, and then re-aim.

I can understand that it may seem bewildering to decide what you want to do, but I also think you will only know half the answers no matter how much you "think" about it. The rest will come AFTER you start DOING. You can always change course, refine, improve.

I'm not saying commit to a university course etc without thinking it through, but you could try out different things related to the music industry. Shadow someone already working that industry, meet people, start a blog, write some articles and submit them to a magazine etc. Do anything, just GET STARTED!

[David Cain]

My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music.

That sounds pretty clear to me

I never had success with the life purpose in 20 minutes exercise, having spent hours at it in total.

I guess I just don't believe that my purpose can be distilled into words. I have a much better sense of it now, but I don't think I'll ever sum it up with a phrase of some kind.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Hi,

I am very sure that other people could give you better advise but what stood out for me is the word AFRAID

You seem to use it a lot, and you seem to be afraid for a lot.

I had this problem before as well, what helped me to overcome this is to do 2 things:

1. ask (and answer) yourself what is the worst thing that can happen. And take it to the extreme. In the end you will see that most things are nothing to be afraid off.

2. A philosophy that really helped me (however depressed it may sound) is that everything will be ok eventually, and if it doesn´t than it won´t matter anymore anyway.

I've already asked myself what is the worst that could happen...and my answer always makes me even more indecisive; If I choose something to go to school for and it turns out to be the wrong thing, the worst that could happen is I would have wasted all that time and money for nothing. To me that IS the worst thing that could happen and I really really want to avoid that. I've seen friends file bankruptcy because they changed their mind about school and couldn't pay the loan off. That is a very realistic validated fear, I think.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by MartinP

Hi Rockchick!

Enjoyed reading your post!

Have you heard of T Harv Eker? In his book, he talks about Ready, Fire, Aim! In other words, sometimes you can't work it all out beforehand. You might just have to pull the trigger, see if your aim was ok, and then re-aim.

I can understand that it may seem bewildering to decide what you want to do, but I also think you will only know half the answers no matter how much you "think" about it. The rest will come AFTER you start DOING. You can always change course, refine, improve.

Those are good words to live by, except in this situation where I only get one shot. It takes a lifetime of savings just to go to school once for something, so how could I afford it twice, if I still have to pay off my loans from my first mistake? I guess i've known far too many people who went to school for something and ended up almost ruining their lives because of it. Also, i'm going to be 37 in a few months and I don't want to waste any more time so that's also why I feel like I have to do it right this time.

I'm not saying commit to a university course etc without thinking it through, but you could try out different things related to the music industry. Shadow someone already working that industry, meet people, start a blog, write some articles and submit them to a magazine etc. Do anything, just GET STARTED!

Well I have created my own website with SBI, but I've found that it feels more like work than fun to me now and I can barely get myself motivated to work on it. That's what I'm afraid will happen if I go to college, that it won't be fun anymore and I'll just lose all motivation because I'll be forced to do it.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by David Cain

That sounds pretty clear to me

I never had success with the life purpose in 20 minutes exercise, having spent hours at it in total.

I guess I just don't believe that my purpose can be distilled into words. I have a much better sense of it now, but I don't think I'll ever sum it up with a phrase of some kind.

Well yes my PURPOSE is clear but that doesn't tell me what job I should get, and all the jobs I think would fit that purpose perfectly don't fit ME. I guess that's the main problem, how can something be my purpose when aspects of it don't fit me? For every job i've wanted to try, there is a major aspect about it that I just cannot get past. Does everyone who goes into their dream job have problems with it? Maybe i'm just being too critical, but the flaws in these jobs are dealbreakers for me. Which leaves me nothing that would work.

[Indiana]

You say every single excuse for everything you come up with is a dealbreaker, but you seem to have an extremely low threshold for dealbreakers!

Most of them seem to involve the possibility that your work may present any difficulty at all, or any level of challenge to you. You want your ideal life to be utterly seamless, easy, never involve you doing anything or going anywhere if you don't feel like it, never having to speak to anyone you don't want to, never having to compete and it will pay you loads of money. And you won't try anything in case it doesn't work out.

Perhaps you don't realise that even in your ideal life, when you are pursuing your purpose, things are not always simple and easy. I am definitely living my ideal life - I work my own hours, at work I enjoy (writing), with people I like, and I get paid well to do it. That's not to say that I don't sometimes have to deal issues with people, or that words always flow effortlessly from my fingers, or that I don't have to pitch for work like everyone else from time to time, or that I don't have to attend to mundane details like invoicing or transcribing, or that I don't have to sometimes go to events or functions when I'm tired and would rather lie on the couch.

If I had gone into this thinking 'Oh, I don't want to have to compete with anyone, I just want the work to flow to me effortlessly' or 'I don't want to write if I ever struggle to find the right words, or get anxious before interviews' or 'I don't want to have to work to someone else's deadlines, only my own, ever'.... well then, I wouldn't be living this wonderful rewarding life that I am!

How about working in promotions at a record company? You might do a bit of writing, a bit of showing artists around and going to concerts, you will have a mix of working independently and with others, and you probably won't have to go on long tours, as you deal with the groups that come to your city/state. I can't promise you that it will never ever be boring or that you will never have to do anything you don't want to, but it's a good entry level position and it ticks a lot of your boxes.

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the great.

[Parthon]

Hey RockChick. Nice to see you back again.

Just a question: What question were you trying to answer with Steve's exercise. It sounds like you were trying to find out what to do with your life, and you came no closer to finding your true purpose. It does sound like you focussed too much on the how, and not enough on the what, or the who.

If you want clarity, find your message. The one thing that you want to express to the world, the one thing you want people to realise and listen to. Yeah, that thing right there, what is it?

You said alot about the "hows" of what you want to accomplish, but this stands out above all:

"My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music. And to provide them with information about good music or provide the music itself."

Can you tell me more about this?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Indiana

You say every single excuse for everything you come up with is a dealbreaker, but you seem to have an extremely low threshold for dealbreakers!

Most of them seem to involve the possibility that your work may present any difficulty at all, or any level of challenge to you. You want your ideal life to be utterly seamless, easy, never involve you doing anything or going anywhere if you don't feel like it, never having to speak to anyone you don't want to, never having to compete and it will pay you loads of money. And you won't try anything in case it doesn't work out.

Perhaps you don't realise that even in your ideal life, when you are pursuing your purpose, things are not always simple and easy. I am definitely living my ideal life - I work my own hours, at work I enjoy (writing), with people I like, and I get paid well to do it. That's not to say that I don't sometimes have to deal issues with people, or that words always flow effortlessly from my fingers, or that I don't have to pitch for work like everyone else from time to time, or that I don't have to attend to mundane details like invoicing or transcribing, or that I don't have to sometimes go to events or functions when I'm tired and would rather lie on the couch.

If I had gone into this thinking 'Oh, I don't want to have to compete with anyone, I just want the work to flow to me effortlessly' or 'I don't want to write if I ever struggle to find the right words, or get anxious before interviews' or 'I don't want to have to work to someone else's deadlines, only my own, ever'.... well then, I wouldn't be living this wonderful rewarding life that I am!

How about working in promotions at a record company? You might do a bit of writing, a bit of showing artists around and going to concerts, you will have a mix of working independently and with others, and you probably won't have to go on long tours, as you deal with the groups that come to your city/state. I can't promise you that it will never ever be boring or that you will never have to do anything you don't want to, but it's a good entry level position and it ticks a lot of your boxes.

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the great.

I do realize that I am a perfectionist which is why I have problems with...well,problems LOL I guess that is my underlying issue, not the jobs themselves. I fully see that, even in other areas of my life, a huge problem has been if something isn't perfect, I don't do anything until I find something that IS. That's probably why I've been single 34 years out of 36 because every guy I meet, I think "Well there HAS to be something better fit for me out there, I don't want to settle". But I have no idea how to go about fixing that problem, it seems more of an ingrained thing than just a bad habit. I just feel like, with anything in life, why settle for something that doesn't feel right? It's like something inside me is making everything not feel right just so I am never satisfied with anything.

Even if I were to get rid of my perfectionism though, I still have about 10 jobs that I really want to try and I can't decide which one I want the most. Being that I am nearing my 40's and only get one shot at school, that's the other half of where my problem lies, I feel pressure from that. Most people know from an early age what they want to do and they go for it easier. This would be much simpler if I wanted just one thing.

It would be cool to work in promotion, that actually was one of the "maybe's" on my list. But like with everything else, I can't know if that is right for me until I try it but you can't just "try" a whole slew of jobs when they all need college degrees or intense training.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Parthon

Hey RockChick. Nice to see you back again.

Just a question: What question were you trying to answer with Steve's exercise. It sounds like you were trying to find out what to do with your life, and you came no closer to finding your true purpose. It does sound like you focussed too much on the how, and not enough on the what, or the who.

If you want clarity, find your message. The one thing that you want to express to the world, the one thing you want people to realise and listen to. Yeah, that thing right there, what is it?

You said alot about the "hows" of what you want to accomplish, but this stands out above all:

Can you tell me more about this?

Yes I was trying to find my life purpose, the job I am supposed to do. I have been laid off for 4 months and running out of money and have to decide fast. All of us who got laid off will be getting a free grant from our former employer to pay for up to 2 years of schooling. And we have to decide within a certain number of weeks. So that's why I'm trying so hard to figure this out now.

And my "ultimate goal" that you quoted is basically what I want to achieve in whatever job I take...BUT, (and this is a huge but)...there are literally like 10-15 jobs that I've narrowed it down to that would work within my ultimate goal. And like I said in my previous post, I wish I could try them all to see which would be best for me, but they all involve going to college of some sort. I CANNOT get any of those jobs entry level which means I can't just bounce around and try to find the best one, I have to decide beforehand which is the best one. Which goes completely against what MartinP said up there...about triggering first and aiming later...you simply can't do that when you physically cannot go to college 15 times to find the right job for you.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Even if I were to get rid of my perfectionism though, I still have about 10 jobs that I really want to try and I can't decide which one I want the most. Being that I am nearing my 40's and only get one shot at school, that's the other half of where my problem lies, I feel pressure from that. Most people know from an early age what they want to do and they go for it easier. This would be much simpler if I wanted just one thing.

It would be cool to work in promotion, that actually was one of the "maybe's" on my list. But like with everything else, I can't know if that is right for me until I try it but you can't just "try" a whole slew of jobs when they all need college degrees or intense training.

What are the 10 jobs? Would one kind of course give you qualifications for three or four of them? Or do some of them (eg, record promotions) not actually require qualifications or intensive training? Perhaps you can narrow the list down to five you might be able to be qualified for, or that don't really need qualifications.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Indiana

What are the 10 jobs? Would one kind of course give you qualifications for three or four of them? Or do some of them (eg, record promotions) not actually require qualifications or intensive training? Perhaps you can narrow the list down to five you might be able to be qualified for, or that don't really need qualifications.

Ok here's my ongoing ever-changing list as it appears at the moment:

music journalist
videographer/photographer
video editor
author (magazines, newspapers, books)
magazine editor
bookstore employee
audio recording engineer/mixer
record label secretary
promotion/marketing associate
filmmaker (specifically documentaries)
roadie
music librarian (or just regular librarian)
sound technician (live shows)
music critic
music editor for film
music supervisor for film or radio
A&R administrator
mastering engineer (audio)

Most of these require different levels of experience, training, degrees, and some of them require knowing the right people. It's such a massive task to figure out what kind of training or degrees I could get that could pertain to as many of these as possible, I'm already giving myself a headache trying to figure out which one I want to try first! (If indeed I can do more than one).

[ellie]

Well I'm sure some those jobs you could take on now, at an entry level. What's your top 3 on those list?

Wanna be a roadie, then start approaching bands...get in there somehow, when there's a will there's a way. Put you plea out on youtube and other means.

Filmmaker, start doing experimental videos and go vimeo and join in the projects on there.

Want to be a music journo start writitng a blog about bands.

Want to work in production with sound, go to a sound producing company and ask if you can be a lackey of some sort. I don't know much about music but on film sets you need gaffer assistants, assistant co-ordinators etc. Try and get some experience before or while your studying, so you can then start to tick off what you like and dislike.

Also ring up potential workplace and just talk them about what skills are required and the type of person you are and ask them if they think you would like/or dislike the industry.

A lot of the above careers, needs you to be proactive and get involved with the industry on your own accord. For example I put together an animation stuck it on vimeo and youtube showed industry people and then I got offered to do tv commercials and since then other people have approached me to work with them, based on my work. Start getting passionate!!!

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Most of these require different levels of experience, training, degrees, and some of them require knowing the right people. It's such a massive task to figure out what kind of training or degrees I could get that could pertain to as many of these as possible, I'm already giving myself a headache trying to figure out which one I want to try first! (If indeed I can do more than one).

A degree in Communication Studies will give you a qualification / entry level skills into pretty much every single one of those jobs except being a roadie, and I am sure you don't need a single qualification to do that, based on roadies I have met!

Most communications degrees include training in video editing and shooting, sound recording and editing, journalism, PR, interview technique, editing technique, writing technique and much more. As you go through the degree you will become more aware of what area/s interest you the most.

Check out what courses are available at your local university / technical college.

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes I was trying to find my life purpose, the job I am supposed to do. I have been laid off for 4 months and running out of money and have to decide fast. All of us who got laid off will be getting a free grant from our former employer to pay for up to 2 years of schooling. And we have to decide within a certain number of weeks. So that's why I'm trying so hard to figure this out now.

And my "ultimate goal" that you quoted is basically what I want to achieve in whatever job I take...BUT, (and this is a huge but)...there are literally like 10-15 jobs that I've narrowed it down to that would work within my ultimate goal. And like I said in my previous post, I wish I could try them all to see which would be best for me, but they all involve going to college of some sort. I CANNOT get any of those jobs entry level which means I can't just bounce around and try to find the best one, I have to decide beforehand which is the best one. Which goes completely against what MartinP said up there...about triggering first and aiming later...you simply can't do that when you physically cannot go to college 15 times to find the right job for you.

Yeah, that's the problem. Your need for a job is overshadowing your ability to connect with your deepest wisdom and choose the next step. Right now you have many paths to pick from and the choice itself is paralyzing.

The way out is to discover more about your true goal: when you said "My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music. And to provide them with information about good music or provide the music itself."

Can you expand on this and say more about it?

[Rapid]

[QUOTE=Rockchick26;361688]Most people know from an early age what they want to do and they go for it easier. This would be much simpler if I wanted just one thing.
[QUOTE]

Definitely not true. Also many people change their career paths later in their lives.

Being your own boss would give you the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. But freedom comes with a lot of responsibilities - and you mentioned that you don't want that (at this stage of your life anyway).
So maybe the thing to do is to marry a rich person.

Seriously though, I think that it's great that your company's willing to pay for two years of schooling. First thing to do is to decide which you like the best: writing/working with words, video/working with images, or music/working with sound. For the first semester, you can take courses in feature writing, video production, and sound editing (or some other related courses). I imagine that a community college would have cost-effective courses in these areas. Remember that, if you take classes, then you shouldn't take a touring gig. You want to stay local. You can probably find paid/unpaid gigs around your school related to your interests. After the first semester, you can do another self-evaluation before deciding on your next course of action. There's really no other way than just jumping in. Remember that job satisfaction has a lot to do with where you work and with whom you work. So if you don't like a job, you can look for another one.

If you need to find work fast, your school may be a source of paid internships. Otherwise, you can always work in a comedy club or some other venue, or find a temp job working in some office. Temp office jobs are not fun, but in the past they enabled me to put food on the table.

The road to your dream career won't be linear. It's time to buckle down and just do the work.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by ellie

Well I'm sure some those jobs you could take on now, at an entry level. What's your top 3 on those list?

UGH I tried to name 3 of them but I changed it a few times and I always feel like by narrowing it down, I am limiting myself. I want too many things, which is the problem. If i chose music journalist then I'm not able to work with the bands. They don't particularly like interviewers and media and I don't want to be "the enemy". But if i choose video or audio then i'm not able to WRITE which is equally important to me. Everything that is important to me clashes with each other.

Wanna be a roadie, then start approaching bands...get in there somehow, when there's a will there's a way. Put you plea out on youtube and other means.

Filmmaker, start doing experimental videos and go vimeo and join in the projects on there.

Great ideas! I've never heard of vimeo...I'll join it! I already have 2 videos I could add on there.

Want to be a music journo start writitng a blog about bands.

Actually I do have my own website (http;//music-that-rocks.com) but that is only to earn extra money on the side, part time. I still want to DO something to get out there and not sit on my couch all day

Want to work in production with sound, go to a sound producing company and ask if you can be a lackey of some sort. I don't know much about music but on film sets you need gaffer assistants, assistant co-ordinators etc. Try and get some experience before or while your studying, so you can then start to tick off what you like and dislike.

Also ring up potential workplace and just talk them about what skills are required and the type of person you are and ask them if they think you would like/or dislike the industry.

More good ideas! I just wasn't sure if any of those places even needed "lackey's", as they are usually busy with people beating down their doors trying to work there. But I will try!

A lot of the above careers, needs you to be proactive and get involved with the industry on your own accord. For example I put together an animation stuck it on vimeo and youtube showed industry people and then I got offered to do tv commercials and since then other people have approached me to work with them, based on my work. Start getting passionate!!!

WOW that is awesome!! Industry people go on Vimeo too!? I am definately joining that site!

Another note; I'm not a real proactive person and I'm not agressive at all, I'm shy and timid and I hate bothering people, so this is affecting my ability to be proactive also. Not sure if I can change that, at least not overnight.

Another thing I wanted to add; Even with clear steps to all the things I want to try, it's still overwhelming because I feel like in order to do all these things I will have to give up sleep and a social life I can't possibly do all these things even if some of them do work out, so I think I'm always going to feel like there is never enough time. Maybe I feel this way only because of my age, and knowing how long it takes people to get into the music business, I'll probably be 45 by that time. It just discourages me. But then I have to tell myself it's better to do it late than never at all.

Thanks for all your suggestions, I'll definately be trying some of them!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Indiana

A degree in Communication Studies will give you a qualification / entry level skills into pretty much every single one of those jobs except being a roadie, and I am sure you don't need a single qualification to do that, based on roadies I have met!

Most communications degrees include training in video editing and shooting, sound recording and editing, journalism, PR, interview technique, editing technique, writing technique and much more. As you go through the degree you will become more aware of what area/s interest you the most.

Check out what courses are available at your local university / technical college.

Wow, I could learn ALL that just by getting one degree? The only thing that scares me though is the speaking part of it all...doing interviews, PR, I dont WANT to be one of them journalists that reports the news to a tv camera or gives speeches in front of lots of people...talking is one of my least favorite things to do Is it possible to train in all those other areas but not anything that involves speaking to a crowd or a camera?

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Parthon

Yeah, that's the problem. Your need for a job is overshadowing your ability to connect with your deepest wisdom and choose the next step. Right now you have many paths to pick from and the choice itself is paralyzing.

Exactly. If I wasn't running out of money then I wouldn't be worried, but I will need a GOOD paying job within a few months and that's just more pressure than I can deal with right now.

The way out is to discover more about your true goal: when you said "My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music. And to provide them with information about good music or provide the music itself."

Can you expand on this and say more about it?

I want to do those things through showing them, either by writing or by visuals. When I break it down even further, basically I want to spread awareness of different musical artists by writing about them and showing the world videos I made about them. So basically I want to use my website as a means for this but I also want to get more actively involved with the bands too, and that's where I thought I could film the videos (or even have someone else film them and I could edit them) but I also want to create the video myself, like choose the concept and everything. I also love being a part of a big event (such as a concert or production of an album) so that's another thing too. This is where my problem lies, I want to do too many things and by choosing only one or two, I'm not going to be fully happy because there are still other things I'm unable to do.

[ellie]

Oh yeah pretty much all my main constant work comes from people seeing my work online. I have gotten a full-time job out of it, constant freelance work and recommendations from others. I have my website with my portfolio on it, I post on relevant forums and film sites and that's got me a steady stream of work.

I'm not very proactive either and I can be shy and timid...but if you have a passion of some sort, even if it comes in waves then get on the bandwagon for that time.

Actually my final uni animation, has the constant piece that has gotten me work. It was great, because I had no pressure, I could do what I want and how I want...and it turned out that that piece has helped me so much more than I thought. It was a piece, purely from the heart, there was know thought of monetary gain, when I put it together. So you don't nessarily have to be to proactive, just do little inspiring projects for yourself and you never know where it will lead you.

To be honest if I was a lot more proactive I probably would be even more successful

Yeah vimeo has some pretty big people visiting on their, so you never know who will see you work and like it.

To be honest I like a little bit of everything and I have been able to do a little bit of everything too. Don't get too concerned about concentrating on one area.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Wow, I could learn ALL that just by getting one degree? The only thing that scares me though is the speaking part of it all...doing interviews, PR, I dont WANT to be one of them journalists that reports the news to a tv camera or gives speeches in front of lots of people...talking is one of my least favorite things to do Is it possible to train in all those other areas but not anything that involves speaking to a crowd or a camera?

Well, you'll train in all those areas, you don't have to do them for a job. But you'll probably find, as I did, that having the training makes them so much easier to contemplate!

I'm similar to you - far prefer writing to doing interviews, but I have learned to become good at interviewing (for written pieces, I've never done TV). And now I actually enjoy it. Most of the time people turn out to be awesome, or at the very least understand that they have a reciprocal relationship with the journalist and will make an effort. That doesn't mean that I don't get nervous beforehand, but usually I come out feeling thrilled at how well it all went. I've interviewed some massive stars, household names and legends, and you know, most of them turned out to be fantastic. And even the terrible interviews eventually make for funny dinner party stories.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is where my problem lies, I want to do too many things and by choosing only one or two, I'm not going to be fully happy because there are still other things I'm unable to do.

You know, I can think of at least three or four of my friends who not only play in bands, they write about music, work in promotions or even manage other bands too. Oh, and one of them makes music videos. So you can totally do as many things as you want.

[amj]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm the worst decision maker. I am unemployed and I have to decide what I want to go to school for or what kind of job I should get, but every time I think I find something that I'd like, I find reasons why it wouldn't work. I've been picking my brain for 4 months about this (longer really, but i've only been out of work for 4 months so now I REALLY have been thinking about it). So I did that purpose-finding excersise and I'm still stuck! I rambled on for 2 hours. I'm thinking maybe I'm just too close to the situation to see what I need to see. Maybe somebody could read my ramblings and tell me if something is obvious but I just can't see it. So here it is...
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I want to for sure do something in music. I want to do so many things I can't decide which. I can't decide if I want a job where I can stay living here or where I travel a lot or where I have to live far away.

The times in my life when I am the happiest is when I'm at a concert and all the excitement leading up to it, the whole day. Especially when there are other people there with me. The whole feeling that we're all excited about this together, and you talk about it for weeks afterwards.

From a young age I always liked to type. I liked to type because I like sitting down to an empty piece of paper and making someone listen to what I had to say. But I don't know if I want to do this for a job because this is what I like to do at home when I'm relaxing, and I don't want to constantly be sitting all day at a computer. I also don't want to do the same exact thing for a job that I do from home, unless I could work from home. How do you do what you love for a job when things are only good in moderation? Is it wrong to do what you love for a job because then you would get burnt out from doing it too much? Most things I want to do involves sitting at a computer, and from being unemployed for 4 months I know that isn't good because that is all I do now and I get antsy and sore after a few hours, so I don't know how I could do most of the jobs I want to do because most of them involve sitting at a computer for long periods of time.

I used to write pen pal letters and poetry since I was very young. I've always been interested in typing/writing whether it was online or on paper. But the minute I do something I HAVE to do (not WANT to do) then I lose the spark.

I also used to want to be a dj so I could play songs for everyone, but I didn't want to talk. I just loved "pretending" that people could hear the songs I was playing, sharing all my awesome music with whoever wanted to listen.

Every time I hear music that moves me, I picture an image to go along with it. I can see everything that would happen while I listen to music, almost like I can see the music itself. I know what music goes with what emotion.

I want to work with the bands themselves. I would even be happy where I am working NEAR a band where I'm doing something related but not directly. But I dont want to ask them questions like a music journalist but I want to work with them. I want to work with a big group of people where we are all part of something exciting (making of a record or a concert). I also want to be able to work alone if I want to. I don't want a job where my hours and days are set. I don't want to have a lot of responsibility, or where I am under pressure to do something.

I'm afraid if I was a music journalist I would have to interview bands and that's my worst quality because I'm much more comfortable working with people on the same level rather than asking or answering questions. In the past when i've had jobs where people asked me questions it made me uncomfortable and I either wanted to be left alone or I only wanted to talk to people working alongside me. Likewise I don't like to ask questions either. All that implies a difference of level, and I want to be an equal to my co-workers.

I am afraid if I worked in the concert industry, I would be away from home for a long time and traveling would be tiring (i NEED at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep) and expensive for the little pay I would get. But then I wonder why do I care about how long I am gone when I don't need to see my family very often anyway, and I love to travel and see new places, and i'm bored with my life right now. So maybe I do want that kind of a job, I'm just too scared of change. But I do have the need for a secure home that is always there. I don't think I would like to be away from my house for more than a week at a time. I am an introvert and need to be alone more than I am with people, which makes me wonder why I have a desire to be a part of a group of people that works together. I don't want to be in a band though, because I don't have enough musical ability, I don't want to be famous, and I don't like a lot of attention on me.

I want to do a job where I'm not required to do it unless I want to or can wait until I have the right ideas to do it. I want to choose who I want to work with and what I will do. I want to be my own boss yet I want to work in a group where we are part of something amazing.

I'm afraid working in a music studio, I will have to work with music I don't like and wouldn't even want to finish it.

My ultimate goals are to make people feel the same way I do about music, and see what I see when I hear music. And to provide them with information about good music or provide the music itself.

I want to work alone if I want as well as in a group if I want. I want to be part of something yet I want to be left alone and do things myself. I want to work in a quiet secluded area, and I also want to work in a crowded high energy area.

I've always liked giving information to people and exchanging opinions, online or through the mail. I would love to run my own magazine or newspaper or e-zine or be a part of a music documentary team. I want to create a job that isn't there so there is no competition and I become in demand and can choose who I want to work with. I want to find new ways to make the music industry run more respectably and efficiently.

I'd love to create documentaries about bands but am not interested at all in the technical aspect of cameras and filmmaking, only the editing part. I'd prefer to put together my own video from someone else's videos and pictures.
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Sorry that was so long and thank you to anyone who read it all! If anyone has any insights or suggestions, please reply! thank you!!

I think you should do what you feel like doing and keep doing it until you don't feel like doing it anymore. Like Nike used to say, "Just Do It."

You could do more than one thing. You could DJ, be a music video director, make films, and more. The first thing you need to do is... Do It. Do it even when you are afraid and you think you will fail.

If you don't know how then do research and find someone who is very good in the field you are interested in. Talk to them and ask them if they could mentor you. After that you will be on your way.

The most important thing is to do something. Do it now.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Indiana

You know, I can think of at least three or four of my friends who not only play in bands, they write about music, work in promotions or even manage other bands too. Oh, and one of them makes music videos. So you can totally do as many things as you want.

Your friends are my heroes LOL Wow. I wish I knew people who worked in the jobs I want so I could ask them how they started and ask for some guidance or help. I don't even have kids and I am even worried about having 2 jobs at once! I guess I value my free time and sleep time so much that I wouldn't want a lifestyle where I have to split up 3 jobs to fit into each day so I barely have time for sleep or to relax.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by amj

I think you should do what you feel like doing and keep doing it until you don't feel like doing it anymore. Like Nike used to say, "Just Do It."

You could do more than one thing. You could DJ, be a music video director, make films, and more. The first thing you need to do is... Do It. Do it even when you are afraid and you think you will fail.

If you don't know how then do research and find someone who is very good in the field you are interested in. Talk to them and ask them if they could mentor you. After that you will be on your way.

The most important thing is to do something. Do it now.

I'm trying so hard to adopt that mentality! But then my analytical critical perfectionist brain kicks in and I start thinking too much. For example, yesterday I emailed a recording studio and asked them if they had any entry level jobs or even volunteer work I could do there. And after I sent the email I was afraid that if I get to work there, and it's not a paying gig, then that would take more time out of my life where I should be earning money because that's really the whole reason I'm looking for a job, because I'm running out of it!

I also answered a job on Craiglist, I'm not sure what it entails but it involves working in a recording studio. But this place is about an hour away and after I replied to the job listing, I thought, "Now if I get that job I'll be driving 2 hours a day and then I'll need another job just to pay for gas!"

That's how my mind works, I always find the problem with everything! I wish I could stop that.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Your friends are my heroes LOL Wow. I wish I knew people who worked in the jobs I want so I could ask them how they started and ask for some guidance or help. I don't even have kids and I am even worried about having 2 jobs at once! I guess I value my free time and sleep time so much that I wouldn't want a lifestyle where I have to split up 3 jobs to fit into each day so I barely have time for sleep or to relax.

I guess the point of the life purpose exercise is that once you start doing something that is truly meaningful to you, it stops feeling so much like a job and starts feeling a lot more like play.

Maybe it would help to stop thinking of it as 'the jobs I want to have' and try to think of it more as 'the things I want to do (that will also earn me money)'.

[Rockchick26]

I am trying to take in all this advice and apply it to my life. I really like what Steve said in one of his podcasts, he said to do what you want to do NOW, dont worry about your path, if you do what you want to do at this moment in time, then it will all unfold to you.

I emailed a recording studio near me inquiring about any jobs I could do there even though I have no training or experience, and the guy said he could talk to me sometime next week!!! I can't believe he's even interested, he must be hard up for help LOL

And another job I replied to at a recording studio, the guy said he would like to see my website (it's about rock music) so hopefully something will come about there too.

I also applied at 4 bookstores over the last week, I am thinking I could be happy working at a place like that but then just doing something music-related on the side. I think the key to my solution to this problem is just starting out slowly, at the bottom. And when I get the free schooling, I could just choose as many classes that would be a variety of stuff just so I can get my feet wet, and maybe not dive into a full blown profession just yet. But what I go to school for isn't entirely up to me, they said it has to be something that is in demand, so I might not have much of a choice but I'm hoping they'll pay for at least one thing I'm interested in.

Thanks again for all of your replies!

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I am trying to take in all this advice and apply it to my life. I really like what Steve said in one of his podcasts, he said to do what you want to do NOW, dont worry about your path, if you do what you want to do at this moment in time, then it will all unfold to you.

I emailed a recording studio near me inquiring about any jobs I could do there even though I have no training or experience, and the guy said he could talk to me sometime next week!!! I can't believe he's even interested, he must be hard up for help LOL

And another job I replied to at a recording studio, the guy said he would like to see my website (it's about rock music) so hopefully something will come about there too.

I also applied at 4 bookstores over the last week, I am thinking I could be happy working at a place like that but then just doing something music-related on the side. I think the key to my solution to this problem is just starting out slowly, at the bottom. And when I get the free schooling, I could just choose as many classes that would be a variety of stuff just so I can get my feet wet, and maybe not dive into a full blown profession just yet. But what I go to school for isn't entirely up to me, they said it has to be something that is in demand, so I might not have much of a choice but I'm hoping they'll pay for at least one thing I'm interested in.

Thanks again for all of your replies!

Fantastic! Good work That's a great step forward.

I'm very good at slying my way into things. I thought I would be good as a band organiser of some sort and I've always thought I could probably do it too, if I really wanted too. But it's not really my thing. Ps- stop down selling yourself.