Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Matt Willard · 07-13-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhaasch

I just wanted to say again that I'm still watching. Your updates are coming straight to my inbox. =D

Awesome job! It's inspirational to watch you continue to keep up with posting updates.

Wow, you're subscribed to this? That's kinda nuts. I need that kind of love to go towards my blog :V

DAY 40 - JULY 13, 2009

Mmmmm. Well, a good chunk of the day was wasted with an activity that didn't turn out to be enjoyable, but I managed to salvage it by drawing up my next 30 day trial plan and working on my blog post. The real big challenge of today was staying in the present moment even as I was going somewhere else, and even though I faltered a lot, I did practice extensively, so it's not a bust.

Right, tomorrow I want to actually revise the post I meant to revise today. I also want to work on my video project and get some driving in. As for the rest of tonight, well, I'll do what I can to spend it in a good way, as opposed to sitting on the computer all night.

Matt Willard · 07-14-2009, 11:08 PM

DAY 41 - JULY 14, 2009

Ah, another relatively peaceful and successful day. I'm really glad I came back to the "present moment" mindset. I'm not perfect at it, but it's really helped me focus and enjoy life a lot more. I want to keep improving my present moment more and more until I have the ultimate life I'm currently thinking about.

I finished up the script for one of my video projects and successfully revised my latest post. It was way easier than normal, too. I was definitely in the flow. I also got some driving done. It felt more like 30-40 minutes than an hour, but I'll take it, especially after learning how to improve.

I didn't finish everything, though. I mostly missed out on the comedy study I wanted to do today. I think that'll best be served by dedicating my evenings towards that, but I have a tendency to burn them away on the computer right now, so I'm not sure if I can take care of that yet.

Tomorrow I'm going to take care of some things I've been delaying, namely cleaning my bathroom.

Coincidentally, I've been spending my mornings thinking about what I want-namely my ideal present moment-and I think the universe has come through. Among other things, I've thought about building a massive Transformers collection on my shelf, and today I got the oppotunity to pick up two new figures from the recent movie line. I definitely believe now that the universe can manifest what we think about, but I'm just surprised since earlier I sent out the intention to pick up a certain figure without paying for it. I thought I dismissed that intention, but maybe this new one overpowered it. Thoughts?

Matt Willard · 07-15-2009, 09:53 PM

DAY 42 - JULY 15, 2009

Finally got that bathroom cleaned. (All the bathroom stuff is still lying on my bed-I'll take care of it, promise :V) Also, Mom and Dana unexpectedly went out today, so I decide to record some of my scripts instead of revising my post like I planned. Everything else got cleared up too, with an hour to spare. Excellent.

Tomorrow, much writing is involved! Besides the usual fare, I'm going to take my first steps towards beginning a novel. It's part of my plan to get as close as I can to my ideal present moment. I see myself as a sort of great and wonderful entertainer, and telling stories is part of that dream.

Matt Willard · 07-16-2009, 10:00 PM

DAY 43 - JULY 16, 2009

Today made me realize something-my "days off" are pretty bad, since most of the time on them I just piss around online. Today I wanted to take a day off at first, but then after I realized that I didn't really have much to do off of my computer, I went back to my task list anyway and did some stuff on it. It's amazing how mindless surfing gets boring to me after a while now-it feels exactly like the addiction I realize it to be. Later I plan to figure out what I could be doing instead :V

Anyway, I did some revision and made plans for that novel I want to write, pretty much. Tomorrow I get to the writing I didn't do, the writing I need to finish, and the writing I want to do. And some other miscellaneous stuff. Did I mention I like to write yet?

ns123 · 07-16-2009, 10:16 PM

I just wanted to check in - and don't feel like you have to report to me or justify to me what your activities are... I'm bringing it up to get you thinking about it...

Your main goal was to become independent so the question is:
After 40 days, how closer to becoming independent are you?

For example: I completed and passed a driving class now I can drive myself - therefore I am more independent. or: I bought a bicycle so now I don't have to rely on anyone to transport me anywhere. or: I recently got a job working at Nick's Hobby Store and I have saved up $50 for my apartment fund.

Matt Willard · 07-16-2009, 11:29 PM

Mmmmm. I'm gradually learning how to drive whenever I can get in the practice, and I'm slowly but surely doing my college transfer whenever I can get a ride...and I'm nowhere even close to having something resembling a job. I haven't even been selling any work part-time.

Ffffffff. That is irritating. Sure, it's only been a month and a few days, but I thought I accomplished more than that. I think one of my problems is that I'm waiting for outside forces to align to make things more convienent. Back when I started I was way more pro-active, and now I've settled for complacency.

And I'm still pretty scared of trying to sell my work without any past references and other stuff I hate. Selling writing involves a lot of back work that, frankly, I'd rather not do. That's partly why I was looking to build a writer's platform to create a presence and my own demand, and not have to send out queries and look for markets. (By the way, it's kinda hard to get market resources when you're, ahem, broke like I am.)

I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling impatient. I guess if I just hunkered down and cut through the bulls***, shot past the unpleasantness, things would go faster.

ns123 · 07-17-2009, 02:57 AM

I know what helps me reach my goals is when I have smaller milestones to achieve. If I just give myself an indefinite timeline, I tend to procrastinate and make excuses... and then, 2 years later, I'm no closer to my goal. (this is actually happening to me right now)

In the past, when I've been successful is when I say, ok... my first milestone is to do X by 2 months time. And then, I work closer to X and dedicate time for it either once a day or once a week. Funny thing is, if I "show up" meaning, I just stick to the schedule, it's half the battle.

For example, if I want to become more independent, a good milestone goal for me would be: by 3 months time, I will have my driver's license. A mini milestone would be, in 1 month time, I'll get a cheap bicycle to get me to my driving lessons. The set smaller concrete goals after that.

Just some suggestions on what helps me. Don't feel like you have to justify to me what you're doing though, and feel free to discard if you like.

Matt Willard · 07-17-2009, 12:30 PM

Well, eventually my goals got filtered through a different perspective. I read some of Steve's stuff, namely The Power of Now and the Afternoon of Life, and I decided that having the best present moment I could have would help me attract what I wanted. And, you know, I really think it's worked to a minor degree-holding the state of happiness has gotten some small benefits to come my way already. For example, the idea to practice driving at my complex and span out didn't even OCCUR to me until I tried to hold the state of happiness and think constantly about what I want.

I think that keeping a blissful and peaceful present moment is good for me, and I want to keep doing it. However, having weekly and monthly sub-goals might be a good practice to make sure I'm on track. Just by attending to a subgoal once per day, I should be able to keep at a decent pace. I want simple and peaceful goal achievement, a la Zen Habits.

I guess I needed to hear that question, irritating as it was :V Now I've got a better idea on how to improve my progress.

Matt Willard · 07-17-2009, 09:30 PM

DAY 44 - JULY 17, 2009

Didn't do everything I wanted today. Joke writing took three-plus hours and I broke away to walk up to a fast food restaurant, which isn't really that fulfilling to me anymore. Ever since I've been seeking to make my ideal present moment, I've been craving more wholesome and exciting activities, and the stuff I've already been doing to get away from work just isn't good enough for me anymore. I'm going to have to do some serious brainstorming to figure out what's good for me now.

Well, even so, I managed to get three things done. Tomorrow, since taking a day off would probably lead to boredom, I'd like to get some more important things done, and reassess my strategy for accomplishing my goal, including figuring out a weekly and a monthly goal.

Armen · 07-17-2009, 10:20 PM

Hi Matt.

I must say that I think you have headed down the relatively correct path by seeking accountability for what you are doing. This thread is almost like a mini-site of its own. One valuable part of putting your thoughts out there is that it adds a bit of seriousness to them, and others can provide you with feedback that keeps you somewhat more on track.

Matt Willard · 07-17-2009, 10:45 PM

Yeah, ever since I started this thread, I've gotten a lot of support and advice, which I'm really grateful for.

Matt Willard · 07-19-2009, 01:04 AM

DAY 45 - JULY 18, 2009

Okay, I figure out where I'm currently standing and I've come up with a few subgoals for the week. Though I want to try them out to give me greater focus, I'm still shooting towards the best present moment I can.

Anyway, my subgoals for the week are:

-Reschedule college placement test and orientation as neccessary
-Drive three times this week for one hour each
-Record SQ5 and get video edited

That should handle a good chunk of my overall goal for the week. This week I'm going to try only 3 MITs a day, but I'm going to make sure they're real important ones. Tomorrow I finally have the ability to record some dialog, so I'll do that along with beginning the groundwork for my novel along with driving. Let's test the subgoal thing out and see how it works!

(By the way, first day out of thirty for cutting out greasy and fried foods. Yeah, I'm doing a 30 day trial too.)

Matt Willard · 07-19-2009, 11:36 PM

DAY 46 - JULY 19, 2009

Well, I didn't get to drive today, but I made Mom promise to do it with me tomorrow. That had the added side benefit of allowing me to record my video script, edit it together, and toss it on YouTube! I'm pretty proud-in one day I accomplished one of my week's subgoals.

Besides that, I also worked on the novel groundwork, so all in all, a successful day, if a bit sidetracked. It was busy and energetic, but not really relaxed. Ah, well. We'll just try again tomorrow.

So tomorrow I'll be setting up a new article to spread around and figuring out some easy ways to promote myself. I'll also get in that driving whenever I can.

(By the way, the video I finished is here if you want to see it.)

Matt Willard · 07-20-2009, 09:32 PM

DAY 47 - JULY 20, 2009

Almost crashed into another house today while driving. Mom and I were arguing earlier, and I accidentally hit the gas while I was trying to park, and we went over the bump and onto the grass, almost crashing into the door of the empty townhouse next to us.

I basically had a giant break down right then and there. That was exactly what I was afraid of ever since I started trying to drive, and it almost happened today. Needless to say, I was spooked to hell and back.

I don't know if I'll ever get back into a car now. I still don't know how you're supposed to drive these f***ing steel coffins anyway, and their design choices and driving rules make no sense from a logical standpoint. If I was allowed to use my left foot for my brake and my right for my gas pedal, then maybe I wouldn't have almost gotten us killed.

I don't know what this means for the driving goal. Sure, they always say you gotta face your fears, and for fears where there's nothing really to be afraid of, that's fine. But what about the fear of injury or death? That's something that people legitimately are afraid of. How the hell can I even face that fear again after what happened today?

But let me tell you something. If any of you out there expect your teenage son or daughter to get into a massive, finnicky vehicle, expect them to learn a bunch of new rules and patterns under the expectations that they somehow will do perfectly enough not to endanger your ride, and tell them that driving a car is EASY...

Then you are a F***ING MORON.

firesign · 07-21-2009, 03:17 AM

Matt, I'm also working towards getting my drivers license. My test is on the 31st. I just wanted to say good luck. I've had a few flubs myself, though nothing serious so far. I've been in the same position where you hit the gas thinking it's the brake, though I did it trying to get out of a parking spot. I start crying almost every time I make a mistake. Driving makes me anxious, and my mom doesn't help. So you're not alone.

Matt Willard · 07-21-2009, 01:03 PM

The only way I can forsee myself learning how to drive now is at a class in some big, sparsely populated area. I just don't think I can learn to drive in this city. But that means I'd need to get out there, which requires money...it all just comes back full circle to something I can't even think about doing because I don't have any income. It's pretty damn annoying, let me tell you that.

Well, if I can't drive, then I might as well use that time to find a way to earn some money now. Directly sell my writing, get some job miraculously in walking distance, I don't know. I get to lose all the money I had saved up for my website to help pay for the damages to the car. (Somehow it's going to cost $525-I thought I drove it over a curb, not into a god damn wall.)

So, yeah, I'm pretty damn irritated right now. It's a pain to make progress and then have some stupid crap practically snatch it away.

firesign · 07-21-2009, 01:16 PM

You're lucky you have the option of getting a car. I live in a rural-ish area and there is nothing within walking distance, I have to learn to drive.

nhaasch · 07-21-2009, 02:27 PM

That sucks about the driving incident!

My one piece of advice in all of this is to not give up. This kind of event happens frequently in life. Obstacles will come in our way and we have to just deal with them. With time and practice you can learn to avoid the kinds of obstacles currently getting in your way, however interestingly enough you'll be challenges by bigger obstacles.

And in terms of money these kinds of things happen all the time. Unexpected bills seem to have a way of just showing up. I've used the phrase, "the cost of living" to describe having to pay money i didn't expect to have to. In some ways I've learned to expect to have to pay this money out once in a while. :P

Hang in there! Each setback can equally be viewed as feedback. Learn your lessons and continue to grow.

Take care!

Matt Willard · 07-21-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhaasch

And in terms of money these kinds of things happen all the time. Unexpected bills seem to have a way of just showing up. I've used the phrase, "the cost of living" to describe having to pay money i didn't expect to have to. In some ways I've learned to expect to have to pay this money out once in a while. :P

I like that. Sounds appropriate.

DAY 48 - JULY 21, 2009

Still feeling a bit "blah" from yesterday's disaster, so that's why I didn't really finish any writing today. That's no excuse, though. Tomorrow I want to get writing done first thing-since I'm pushing aside the driving goal for a good while now, I want to focus on writing stuff I can sell. I know now that this is my apprenticeship, and I can't write humor for the wages I want right away. I accept that, and I'll focus my efforts on getting that recognition.

In any case, I finished all the other stuff I set out to do, reorganizing my plans and rescheduling my College Placement Test retake. With that, my second goal of the week is accomplished. Now to actually study for it this time :V

Still, today felt pretty light. I want to feel relaxed and take things easy, but my mind keeps wondering to the fact that I should be doing more. As you can see, it's hard to stay in the present moment, and it's especially harder without activities to fill that extra time. Anyone got any suggestions I can use?

Matt Willard · 07-23-2009, 01:09 AM

DAY 49 - JULY 22, 2009

Didn't get much done today, so I went to the mall. Now they have, strangely enough, a mini-golf course in there. It's totally cheap-looking, but my sister and I played all the holes and had a good time. It really helped me forget the troubles that have been on my mind recently, and it helped me to remember that I want to create the most enjoyable life possible while working on my goals. I want to reflect a state of happiness, and I can do that by being relaxed and entertaining others.

So for tomorrow, I'm going to do that fulfilling work by writing and generally taking things easy, including my current money situation. I still want to finish three tasks, though :V

(By the way, I'm selling jokes for a quarter each. Anyone interested?

)

Matt Willard · 07-23-2009, 09:59 PM

DAY 50 - JULY 23, 2009

With a renewed perspective, this day turned out well where I worked on creating a lot of value. I was going to write up a query for a humor article, but then I decided to follow the advice of my comedy "mentor" Gene Perret and decided not to-he advises to just send in the article itself and let that be the judge.

Tomorrow I want to focus on delivering value. I clearly need work in this area. However, I now have a reason to work on making connections with others. I didn't want to do it at first, but by seeing it as another way to deliver my value, I've got to say that I feel way more motivated to do so.

By the way, it's been seven days since I started keeping off of fried and greasy foods, and I've done pretty well so far.

Matt Willard · 07-24-2009, 11:06 PM

DAY 51 - JULY 24, 2009

The writing didn't go so well today, but I did spend a lot of time focused on delivering value. I've figured out a lot of projects I can do in order to build relationships, and I made some contributions on some forums. I hope to make a lot more connections and really get better at delivering value and getting the word out.

Tomorrow's Saturday, so I want to do some work on my novel, as well as my Weekly Progress Report.

Matt Willard · 07-26-2009, 12:17 AM

DAY 52 - JULY 25, 2009

It has been established that I am lazy on Saturdays! If I'm going to take these days off, I need more wholesome activities than just lounging on the computer all day. Tomorrow, back to work as usual.

wolverine · 07-26-2009, 09:35 AM

Heya Matt. I don't know how old you are, but you sound close to my age; I just turned 21 and literally just got my driving license a week ago. I'm at university (I don't live in the US, it's not college here) as well, and living on-campus but still dependent on my parents, so I understand the journey you're on.

On the driving, I definitely understand. We have a bad family history with car accidents and then a couple of years ago our car was minorly side-swiped by a truck. It triggered something in me and I had a horrible period of serious panic attacks when I was in or around the car. However, as I figured out where I wanted to go in life, I realised that many companies and university research facilities do not let new drivers (in my country we have 3-4 years on our probationary/P license before our full license) drive company/university cars. So, I was faced with having to get my license now so that by the time I finish my course I'll almost/actually be off my P's. I was seriously panicky and in the end I took a course that was done on a privately owned mini road setup. Basically, it was like driving on normal roads but without the traffic. And then, because I don't live at home most of the time, I took lots of driving lessons. Now, I've probably paid $5000+ for all of this over the course of about a year, but for me it was worth it. You have access to a family car and supervising driver, so it shouldn't cost you anywhere near that much.

Anyway, long story, but I wanted to say that it is possible to learn how to drive even when you're a very nervous driver. I've done the accelerator-instead-of-brake trick before, in a very full carpark, nearly into the cars behind. Yes, it scared the **** out of me. I've also nearly rolled our car at 100km/hr and nearly rear-ended another car. But I didn't, and I couldn't let these very scary things take over me, because now I know enough and know how to drive well enough that these situations aren't likely to happen anymore. (At the time, you're definitely allowed to cry. I did.) You just need to get past the learning stage where you're struggling. I do recommend getting a few paid lessons and telling the instructor you're nervous, because they can teach you tricks and ways of driving that most drivers, parents included, don't really know. So it'll cost you a few hundred bucks. So what? If you drive over another curb that'll be lost anyway, so pay it now in advance to avoid too many more situations like that. And if you want to get practise driving further away from the city, maybe get your parents to drive you a bit further out (maybe 1/2 hour?) and then you do an hour or two driving there, and then they do the drive back in to the city. (City driving does suck, I agree. I live in the country at home and 2-4 lane - each way - road suburbs at uni.) Oh, and I didn't really get the chance for this, but apparently lots of short drives are better at building your skills especially at the start, because it's less stressful than longer drives. Going to the shops? Family to the movies? Sister needs dropping off at the pool, or picking up? Going around to a friends/family friends place? Ask if you can drive. Try to drive at quieter times, too.

I still rely heavily on my parents, but once I've finished university (and even during depending on what summer jobs I manage to get) it'll allow me to be easily independent. Don't dismiss your parents support quite yet. Try out for scholarships (which is my only regular source of income), rewards, support schemes etc. I recommend doing some volunteer work if you're considering those because those applications tend to love volunteer workers. Are you part of any minority group? Can you get concession or subsidy or something? Can you find a scholarship or support scheme where, if you agree to go work for a certain company after finishing your degree (generally for 1-2 years), they'll support/partically support you through the degree? Can you help more around the home so that your parents don't mind supporting you more? Do you have a credit card so that you can start building up good credit history and be more likely to be able to secure a loan for a flat/apartment/house/whatever is reasonable for your area?

If you need cash, why not consider a 'normal'/typical part-time job? Retail or supermarket or similar work doesn't pay very well, but it does pay. (I wouldn't suggest food-place work because that sounds like crap in America.) I know you're building up your writing career/resume etc, but at this stage you don't have to have everything working exactly as you expect them to work several years down the track. Sure, during/after college you may support yourself through your writing, but do you have to rely only on that now? You've mentioned that you want to find more 'wholesome activities' to fill up your days off rather than internet surfing. Can you find some activities that, after some time and effort, you'll be able to also generate money from? I'm in an outdoors club and I know a guy who now earns money helping out at some sort of outdoors course/place, which he loves.

I don't know if any of these will be any help, but they're all things I've had to consider over the last few years, so I thought that it couldn't hurt to just throw them out there and see. I'm sure there's more, but for now, good luck.

Wolverine

nhaasch · 07-26-2009, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Willard

DAY 52 - JULY 25, 2009

It has been established that I am lazy on Saturdays! If I'm going to take these days off, I need more wholesome activities than just lounging on the computer all day. Tomorrow, back to work as usual.

I'm glad you are giving yourself time off. Hell, even God took a day in the week to rest.

Matt Willard · 07-26-2009, 11:24 PM

DAY 53 - JULY 26, 2009

So I finished up my other video script, did my Weekly Progress report and chose new weekly goals, and did a bit of work on the novel. That needs to be planned out some more. Other than that, a pretty good day.

Tomorrow I need to study some algebra real fastlike for my test retake, and I hope to finish revising an article I hope to sell. Also, blog stuff.

Matt Willard · 07-26-2009, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverine

(Lots of stuff)

Well, let me clear some things up here...

Now, if I had the money, by all means, I'd find a class that's set up for driving practice without obstacles and stuff. There was a course like that being offered at a high school, but I eventually decided not to go, because I thought I'd be able to manage. That clearly didn't work out, and I spent the money I had helping pay for the damages.

So, even if I wanted to drive now in a class like that, I can't really afford it. And stressing over money is just gonna get me frantic. I'm not going to focus on that. The only thing that I could do based on your suggestions is to drive way out and practice, but again, not right now. I'm not ready to go back yet. I plan to go back eventually-I can't let this conquer me forever-but I plan to throw money at the problem so we can do it right.

I don't NEED cash, technically. I just fuss over it. It's a problem solver and things would be easier if I've had some. But I've decided now not to worry about it. If I worry about it, I can't stay focused. And I also think that if I dwell on not having any income, it ain't gonna come that easily. I'm stickin' with Steve's idea at the moment-focus on creating and delivering value, and the rest will take care of itself. It's a way more peaceful and less stressful mindset.

Matt Willard · 07-28-2009, 01:04 AM

DAY 54 - JULY 27, 2009

Did some writing, but the day was overall unstructured and unproductive. Well, I took my college retest, at least. (Here's a hint: it sucked.) Tomorrow we're going to the beach, so I don't expect to be productive then either!

Matt Willard · 07-29-2009, 09:11 PM

DAY 55 - JULY 28, 2009 + DAY 56 - JULY 29, 2009

Might need to take a tiny sabbatical here. I'm in the midst of purging viruses and trojans that snuck on my computer in droves. Since my computer is essentially the hub of our wireless network (and because I can't afford another, natch) I'm spending my time making sure that it's fixed. When things have calmed down, I can get back to the grind. (Though I'll probably set up a temporary workstation with my backup computer and take care of things the best I can there.)

On the bright side, I had an incredible time at Neptune Beach yesterday. I plan to tell you about my adventures there...in pictures. Stay tuned!

Matt Willard · 07-30-2009, 10:42 PM

DAY 57 - JULY 30, 2009

Okay, my computer's fixed, but I mostly screwed around today. Tomorrow it's back to business. I've set up an easy set of MITs for tomorrow-going to write, make a fresh 30 day trial plan, and network on some forums. I want to work myself back into the groove.

07-26-2009, 09:35 AM	#84 (permalink)
wolverine Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 77	Heya Matt. I don't know how old you are, but you sound close to my age; I just turned 21 and literally just got my driving license a week ago. I'm at university (I don't live in the US, it's not college here) as well, and living on-campus but still dependent on my parents, so I understand the journey you're on. On the driving, I definitely understand. We have a bad family history with car accidents and then a couple of years ago our car was minorly side-swiped by a truck. It triggered something in me and I had a horrible period of serious panic attacks when I was in or around the car. However, as I figured out where I wanted to go in life, I realised that many companies and university research facilities do not let new drivers (in my country we have 3-4 years on our probationary/P license before our full license) drive company/university cars. So, I was faced with having to get my license now so that by the time I finish my course I'll almost/actually be off my P's. I was seriously panicky and in the end I took a course that was done on a privately owned mini road setup. Basically, it was like driving on normal roads but without the traffic. And then, because I don't live at home most of the time, I took lots of driving lessons. Now, I've probably paid $5000+ for all of this over the course of about a year, but for me it was worth it. You have access to a family car and supervising driver, so it shouldn't cost you anywhere near that much. Anyway, long story, but I wanted to say that it is possible to learn how to drive even when you're a very nervous driver. I've done the accelerator-instead-of-brake trick before, in a very full carpark, nearly into the cars behind. Yes, it scared the **** out of me. I've also nearly rolled our car at 100km/hr and nearly rear-ended another car. But I didn't, and I couldn't let these very scary things take over me, because now I know enough and know how to drive well enough that these situations aren't likely to happen anymore. (At the time, you're definitely allowed to cry. I did.) You just need to get past the learning stage where you're struggling. I do recommend getting a few paid lessons and telling the instructor you're nervous, because they can teach you tricks and ways of driving that most drivers, parents included, don't really know. So it'll cost you a few hundred bucks. So what? If you drive over another curb that'll be lost anyway, so pay it now in advance to avoid too many more situations like that. And if you want to get practise driving further away from the city, maybe get your parents to drive you a bit further out (maybe 1/2 hour?) and then you do an hour or two driving there, and then they do the drive back in to the city. (City driving does suck, I agree. I live in the country at home and 2-4 lane - each way - road suburbs at uni.) Oh, and I didn't really get the chance for this, but apparently lots of short drives are better at building your skills especially at the start, because it's less stressful than longer drives. Going to the shops? Family to the movies? Sister needs dropping off at the pool, or picking up? Going around to a friends/family friends place? Ask if you can drive. Try to drive at quieter times, too. I still rely heavily on my parents, but once I've finished university (and even during depending on what summer jobs I manage to get) it'll allow me to be easily independent. Don't dismiss your parents support quite yet. Try out for scholarships (which is my only regular source of income), rewards, support schemes etc. I recommend doing some volunteer work if you're considering those because those applications tend to love volunteer workers. Are you part of any minority group? Can you get concession or subsidy or something? Can you find a scholarship or support scheme where, if you agree to go work for a certain company after finishing your degree (generally for 1-2 years), they'll support/partically support you through the degree? Can you help more around the home so that your parents don't mind supporting you more? Do you have a credit card so that you can start building up good credit history and be more likely to be able to secure a loan for a flat/apartment/house/whatever is reasonable for your area? If you need cash, why not consider a 'normal'/typical part-time job? Retail or supermarket or similar work doesn't pay very well, but it does pay. (I wouldn't suggest food-place work because that sounds like crap in America.) I know you're building up your writing career/resume etc, but at this stage you don't have to have everything working exactly as you expect them to work several years down the track. Sure, during/after college you may support yourself through your writing, but do you have to rely only on that now? You've mentioned that you want to find more 'wholesome activities' to fill up your days off rather than internet surfing. Can you find some activities that, after some time and effort, you'll be able to also generate money from? I'm in an outdoors club and I know a guy who now earns money helping out at some sort of outdoors course/place, which he loves. I don't know if any of these will be any help, but they're all things I've had to consider over the last few years, so I thought that it couldn't hurt to just throw them out there and see. I'm sure there's more, but for now, good luck. Wolverine Last edited by wolverine; 07-26-2009 at 09:39 AM.

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07-14-2009, 11:08 PM	#62 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 41 - JULY 14, 2009 Ah, another relatively peaceful and successful day. I'm really glad I came back to the "present moment" mindset. I'm not perfect at it, but it's really helped me focus and enjoy life a lot more. I want to keep improving my present moment more and more until I have the ultimate life I'm currently thinking about. I finished up the script for one of my video projects and successfully revised my latest post. It was way easier than normal, too. I was definitely in the flow. I also got some driving done. It felt more like 30-40 minutes than an hour, but I'll take it, especially after learning how to improve. I didn't finish everything, though. I mostly missed out on the comedy study I wanted to do today. I think that'll best be served by dedicating my evenings towards that, but I have a tendency to burn them away on the computer right now, so I'm not sure if I can take care of that yet. Tomorrow I'm going to take care of some things I've been delaying, namely cleaning my bathroom. Coincidentally, I've been spending my mornings thinking about what I want-namely my ideal present moment-and I think the universe has come through. Among other things, I've thought about building a massive Transformers collection on my shelf, and today I got the oppotunity to pick up two new figures from the recent movie line. I definitely believe now that the universe can manifest what we think about, but I'm just surprised since earlier I sent out the intention to pick up a certain figure without paying for it. I thought I dismissed that intention, but maybe this new one overpowered it. Thoughts?

07-15-2009, 09:53 PM	#63 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 42 - JULY 15, 2009 Finally got that bathroom cleaned. (All the bathroom stuff is still lying on my bed-I'll take care of it, promise :V) Also, Mom and Dana unexpectedly went out today, so I decide to record some of my scripts instead of revising my post like I planned. Everything else got cleared up too, with an hour to spare. Excellent. Tomorrow, much writing is involved! Besides the usual fare, I'm going to take my first steps towards beginning a novel. It's part of my plan to get as close as I can to my ideal present moment. I see myself as a sort of great and wonderful entertainer, and telling stories is part of that dream.

07-16-2009, 10:00 PM	#64 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 43 - JULY 16, 2009 Today made me realize something-my "days off" are pretty bad, since most of the time on them I just piss around online. Today I wanted to take a day off at first, but then after I realized that I didn't really have much to do off of my computer, I went back to my task list anyway and did some stuff on it. It's amazing how mindless surfing gets boring to me after a while now-it feels exactly like the addiction I realize it to be. Later I plan to figure out what I could be doing instead :V Anyway, I did some revision and made plans for that novel I want to write, pretty much. Tomorrow I get to the writing I didn't do, the writing I need to finish, and the writing I want to do. And some other miscellaneous stuff. Did I mention I like to write yet?

07-16-2009, 10:16 PM	#65 (permalink)
ns123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 658	I just wanted to check in - and don't feel like you have to report to me or justify to me what your activities are... I'm bringing it up to get you thinking about it... Your main goal was to become independent so the question is: After 40 days, how closer to becoming independent are you? For example: I completed and passed a driving class now I can drive myself - therefore I am more independent. or: I bought a bicycle so now I don't have to rely on anyone to transport me anywhere. or: I recently got a job working at Nick's Hobby Store and I have saved up $50 for my apartment fund.

07-16-2009, 11:29 PM	#66 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	Mmmmm. I'm gradually learning how to drive whenever I can get in the practice, and I'm slowly but surely doing my college transfer whenever I can get a ride...and I'm nowhere even close to having something resembling a job. I haven't even been selling any work part-time. Ffffffff. That is irritating. Sure, it's only been a month and a few days, but I thought I accomplished more than that. I think one of my problems is that I'm waiting for outside forces to align to make things more convienent. Back when I started I was way more pro-active, and now I've settled for complacency. And I'm still pretty scared of trying to sell my work without any past references and other stuff I hate. Selling writing involves a lot of back work that, frankly, I'd rather not do. That's partly why I was looking to build a writer's platform to create a presence and my own demand, and not have to send out queries and look for markets. (By the way, it's kinda hard to get market resources when you're, ahem, broke like I am.) I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling impatient. I guess if I just hunkered down and cut through the bulls***, shot past the unpleasantness, things would go faster.

07-17-2009, 02:57 AM	#67 (permalink)
ns123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 658	I know what helps me reach my goals is when I have smaller milestones to achieve. If I just give myself an indefinite timeline, I tend to procrastinate and make excuses... and then, 2 years later, I'm no closer to my goal. (this is actually happening to me right now) In the past, when I've been successful is when I say, ok... my first milestone is to do X by 2 months time. And then, I work closer to X and dedicate time for it either once a day or once a week. Funny thing is, if I "show up" meaning, I just stick to the schedule, it's half the battle. For example, if I want to become more independent, a good milestone goal for me would be: by 3 months time, I will have my driver's license. A mini milestone would be, in 1 month time, I'll get a cheap bicycle to get me to my driving lessons. The set smaller concrete goals after that. Just some suggestions on what helps me. Don't feel like you have to justify to me what you're doing though, and feel free to discard if you like.

07-17-2009, 12:30 PM	#68 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	Well, eventually my goals got filtered through a different perspective. I read some of Steve's stuff, namely The Power of Now and the Afternoon of Life, and I decided that having the best present moment I could have would help me attract what I wanted. And, you know, I really think it's worked to a minor degree-holding the state of happiness has gotten some small benefits to come my way already. For example, the idea to practice driving at my complex and span out didn't even OCCUR to me until I tried to hold the state of happiness and think constantly about what I want. I think that keeping a blissful and peaceful present moment is good for me, and I want to keep doing it. However, having weekly and monthly sub-goals might be a good practice to make sure I'm on track. Just by attending to a subgoal once per day, I should be able to keep at a decent pace. I want simple and peaceful goal achievement, a la Zen Habits. I guess I needed to hear that question, irritating as it was :V Now I've got a better idea on how to improve my progress.

07-17-2009, 09:30 PM	#69 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 44 - JULY 17, 2009 Didn't do everything I wanted today. Joke writing took three-plus hours and I broke away to walk up to a fast food restaurant, which isn't really that fulfilling to me anymore. Ever since I've been seeking to make my ideal present moment, I've been craving more wholesome and exciting activities, and the stuff I've already been doing to get away from work just isn't good enough for me anymore. I'm going to have to do some serious brainstorming to figure out what's good for me now. Well, even so, I managed to get three things done. Tomorrow, since taking a day off would probably lead to boredom, I'd like to get some more important things done, and reassess my strategy for accomplishing my goal, including figuring out a weekly and a monthly goal.

07-17-2009, 10:20 PM	#70 (permalink)
Armen Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 42	Hi Matt. I must say that I think you have headed down the relatively correct path by seeking accountability for what you are doing. This thread is almost like a mini-site of its own. One valuable part of putting your thoughts out there is that it adds a bit of seriousness to them, and others can provide you with feedback that keeps you somewhat more on track.

07-17-2009, 10:45 PM	#71 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	Yeah, ever since I started this thread, I've gotten a lot of support and advice, which I'm really grateful for.

07-19-2009, 01:04 AM	#72 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 45 - JULY 18, 2009 Okay, I figure out where I'm currently standing and I've come up with a few subgoals for the week. Though I want to try them out to give me greater focus, I'm still shooting towards the best present moment I can. Anyway, my subgoals for the week are: -Reschedule college placement test and orientation as neccessary -Drive three times this week for one hour each -Record SQ5 and get video edited That should handle a good chunk of my overall goal for the week. This week I'm going to try only 3 MITs a day, but I'm going to make sure they're real important ones. Tomorrow I finally have the ability to record some dialog, so I'll do that along with beginning the groundwork for my novel along with driving. Let's test the subgoal thing out and see how it works! (By the way, first day out of thirty for cutting out greasy and fried foods. Yeah, I'm doing a 30 day trial too.)

07-19-2009, 11:36 PM	#73 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 46 - JULY 19, 2009 Well, I didn't get to drive today, but I made Mom promise to do it with me tomorrow. That had the added side benefit of allowing me to record my video script, edit it together, and toss it on YouTube! I'm pretty proud-in one day I accomplished one of my week's subgoals. Besides that, I also worked on the novel groundwork, so all in all, a successful day, if a bit sidetracked. It was busy and energetic, but not really relaxed. Ah, well. We'll just try again tomorrow. So tomorrow I'll be setting up a new article to spread around and figuring out some easy ways to promote myself. I'll also get in that driving whenever I can. (By the way, the video I finished is here if you want to see it.)

07-20-2009, 09:32 PM	#74 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 47 - JULY 20, 2009 Almost crashed into another house today while driving. Mom and I were arguing earlier, and I accidentally hit the gas while I was trying to park, and we went over the bump and onto the grass, almost crashing into the door of the empty townhouse next to us. I basically had a giant break down right then and there. That was exactly what I was afraid of ever since I started trying to drive, and it almost happened today. Needless to say, I was spooked to hell and back. I don't know if I'll ever get back into a car now. I still don't know how you're supposed to drive these f*ing steel coffins anyway, and their design choices and driving rules make no sense from a logical standpoint. If I was allowed to use my left foot for my brake and my right for my gas pedal, then maybe I wouldn't have almost gotten us killed. I don't know what this means for the driving goal. Sure, they always say you gotta face your fears, and for fears where there's nothing really to be afraid of, that's fine. But what about the fear of injury or death? That's something that people legitimately are afraid of. How the hell can I even face that fear again after what happened today? But let me tell you something. If any of you out there expect your teenage son or daughter to get into a massive, finnicky vehicle, expect them to learn a bunch of new rules and patterns under the expectations that they somehow will do perfectly enough not to endanger your ride, and tell them that driving a car is EASY... Then you are a F*ING MORON.

07-21-2009, 03:17 AM	#75 (permalink)
firesign Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 13	Matt, I'm also working towards getting my drivers license. My test is on the 31st. I just wanted to say good luck. I've had a few flubs myself, though nothing serious so far. I've been in the same position where you hit the gas thinking it's the brake, though I did it trying to get out of a parking spot. I start crying almost every time I make a mistake. Driving makes me anxious, and my mom doesn't help. So you're not alone.

07-21-2009, 01:03 PM	#76 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	The only way I can forsee myself learning how to drive now is at a class in some big, sparsely populated area. I just don't think I can learn to drive in this city. But that means I'd need to get out there, which requires money...it all just comes back full circle to something I can't even think about doing because I don't have any income. It's pretty damn annoying, let me tell you that. Well, if I can't drive, then I might as well use that time to find a way to earn some money now. Directly sell my writing, get some job miraculously in walking distance, I don't know. I get to lose all the money I had saved up for my website to help pay for the damages to the car. (Somehow it's going to cost $525-I thought I drove it over a curb, not into a god damn wall.) So, yeah, I'm pretty damn irritated right now. It's a pain to make progress and then have some stupid crap practically snatch it away.

07-21-2009, 01:16 PM	#77 (permalink)
firesign Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 13	You're lucky you have the option of getting a car. I live in a rural-ish area and there is nothing within walking distance, I have to learn to drive.

07-21-2009, 02:27 PM	#78 (permalink)
nhaasch Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 122	That sucks about the driving incident! My one piece of advice in all of this is to not give up. This kind of event happens frequently in life. Obstacles will come in our way and we have to just deal with them. With time and practice you can learn to avoid the kinds of obstacles currently getting in your way, however interestingly enough you'll be challenges by bigger obstacles. And in terms of money these kinds of things happen all the time. Unexpected bills seem to have a way of just showing up. I've used the phrase, "the cost of living" to describe having to pay money i didn't expect to have to. In some ways I've learned to expect to have to pay this money out once in a while. :P Hang in there! Each setback can equally be viewed as feedback. Learn your lessons and continue to grow. Take care!

07-23-2009, 01:09 AM	#80 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 49 - JULY 22, 2009 Didn't get much done today, so I went to the mall. Now they have, strangely enough, a mini-golf course in there. It's totally cheap-looking, but my sister and I played all the holes and had a good time. It really helped me forget the troubles that have been on my mind recently, and it helped me to remember that I want to create the most enjoyable life possible while working on my goals. I want to reflect a state of happiness, and I can do that by being relaxed and entertaining others. So for tomorrow, I'm going to do that fulfilling work by writing and generally taking things easy, including my current money situation. I still want to finish three tasks, though :V (By the way, I'm selling jokes for a quarter each. Anyone interested? )

07-23-2009, 09:59 PM	#81 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 50 - JULY 23, 2009 With a renewed perspective, this day turned out well where I worked on creating a lot of value. I was going to write up a query for a humor article, but then I decided to follow the advice of my comedy "mentor" Gene Perret and decided not to-he advises to just send in the article itself and let that be the judge. Tomorrow I want to focus on delivering value. I clearly need work in this area. However, I now have a reason to work on making connections with others. I didn't want to do it at first, but by seeing it as another way to deliver my value, I've got to say that I feel way more motivated to do so. By the way, it's been seven days since I started keeping off of fried and greasy foods, and I've done pretty well so far.

07-24-2009, 11:06 PM	#82 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 51 - JULY 24, 2009 The writing didn't go so well today, but I did spend a lot of time focused on delivering value. I've figured out a lot of projects I can do in order to build relationships, and I made some contributions on some forums. I hope to make a lot more connections and really get better at delivering value and getting the word out. Tomorrow's Saturday, so I want to do some work on my novel, as well as my Weekly Progress Report.

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07-26-2009, 12:17 AM	#83 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 52 - JULY 25, 2009 It has been established that I am lazy on Saturdays! If I'm going to take these days off, I need more wholesome activities than just lounging on the computer all day. Tomorrow, back to work as usual.

07-26-2009, 11:24 PM	#86 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 53 - JULY 26, 2009 So I finished up my other video script, did my Weekly Progress report and chose new weekly goals, and did a bit of work on the novel. That needs to be planned out some more. Other than that, a pretty good day. Tomorrow I need to study some algebra real fastlike for my test retake, and I hope to finish revising an article I hope to sell. Also, blog stuff.

07-28-2009, 01:04 AM	#88 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 54 - JULY 27, 2009 Did some writing, but the day was overall unstructured and unproductive. Well, I took my college retest, at least. (Here's a hint: it sucked.) Tomorrow we're going to the beach, so I don't expect to be productive then either!

07-29-2009, 09:11 PM	#89 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 55 - JULY 28, 2009 + DAY 56 - JULY 29, 2009 Might need to take a tiny sabbatical here. I'm in the midst of purging viruses and trojans that snuck on my computer in droves. Since my computer is essentially the hub of our wireless network (and because I can't afford another, natch) I'm spending my time making sure that it's fixed. When things have calmed down, I can get back to the grind. (Though I'll probably set up a temporary workstation with my backup computer and take care of things the best I can there.) On the bright side, I had an incredible time at Neptune Beach yesterday. I plan to tell you about my adventures there...in pictures. Stay tuned!

07-30-2009, 10:42 PM	#90 (permalink)
Matt Willard Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,334	DAY 57 - JULY 30, 2009 Okay, my computer's fixed, but I mostly screwed around today. Tomorrow it's back to business. I've set up an easy set of MITs for tomorrow-going to write, make a fresh 30 day trial plan, and network on some forums. I want to work myself back into the groove.