How do you increase self respect?

[TiffyLove]

Respecting oneself is something I have grown to see as extremely important.

Although I can see how much my respect for myself has increased over the years of personal development, I can not fully articulate the differences. I just know I respect myself, my feelings, and my needs more.


Problem is I don't know what specifically caused the increase in self respect. Therefore I can't consciously increase it more and I can't teach it, either.

However I have seen how incredibly powerful it could be in a persons life.

[Plato]

Ooooh I know!! Pick me!!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but your self-respect changes throughout a day. Sometimes you feel capable of anything, and a truly worthy person. Other times you aren't so sure. Isn't that so?

That's because self respect, is not a noun... a thing. You don't have self respect. Self respect is a VERB. Self respect is something you do.

To be more precise, it's a pyscho-physiological state.

Someof us have mastered being in states in which we feel great about ourselves. Others have mastered being in a self-hating state.

You can only increase self respect in a moment. This moment. It doesn't exist in past or future, though you can PLAN to DO high self esteem in the future.

It's easy to feel high self respect. You hold your body with respect. You breathe like a person with high self esteem. You say to yourself, "Damn it, how did I become SO GOD DAMNED AWESOME???!!!"

"Sweet Jesus, I love myself so much."

YouTube - I look good, I mean really good. Hey everyone come and see how good I look. Anchorman

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by Plato

Ooooh I know!! Pick me!!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but your self-respect changes throughout a day. Sometimes you feel capable of anything, and a truly worthy person. Other times you aren't so sure. Isn't that so?

Since you asked, I shall correct. Your self respect does not change thorough out the day. I think you are mistaking confidence for self respect/ or self esteem. Even if self-respect fluctuated it will not be that noticable, like going from 1000c degrees to 999c degrees. If you are fluctuateing between feeling indestructable to doubting yourself on a daily basis, then I will confidently say the individual has confidence issues. Do you think any one can build any thing substantial doubting their abilities on a daily basis. Do you think Bill gates or spielberg or even Pavlina would have created all they have doubting themselves on that regular a basis?

Self-Confidence is a feeling in your ability to do something. Self-respect is about what you feel you deserve. Ever heard the term "I wont do ...., i respect my self too much" " I wont cheat.... I respect my wife and myself too much.

If self-respect fluctuated through out the day, you are saying what you beleive you deserve fluctuates through out the day, the level of respect you tolerate from self and others, fluctuates daily. Almost like if a woman would fluctuate from being promiscuous with literally anyone to prudishness on a daily basis. It does not work like that.

You are eiether one or the other for long periods of time. What happens is people have ideal values that are self-respectful, but their actual values demonstrate something different. Real Values do not change daily. If they do, some serious inner work needs to be done.

Originally Posted by Plato

That's because self respect, is not a noun... a thing. You don't have self respect. Self respect is a VERB. Self respect is something you do.

Wrong again. The following dictionarys describe self respect as a noun.
Encarta, free dictionary, Cambridge, Websters. These are the 1st 4 I searched. I stopped my search there as they all would have said the same thing. Self-respect is not something you do. It is something you DEMONSTRATE in what you do. But you feel and think it, before you decide to demonstrate via behaviour, speech and life path. The same as will-power and confidence.

Encarta - beleif in own integrity, beleif in your own worth and dignity
Free dictionary - feeling of confidence and pride in ones ability and worth
Cambridge - English - respect for yourself which shows you value self
websters - proper respect for oneself and ones wealth

Originally Posted by Plato

To be more precise, it's a pyscho-physiological state.

Some of us have mastered being in states in which we feel great about ourselves. Others have mastered being in a self-hating state.

True self respect and confidance is a reflection of your self-image and self-belief. But you have to have something to base it on. You can base it on a standard you have set for yourself , based on your past behaviour. or/and you can base it on an innate feeling you deserve better than you are currently demonstrating to yourself.

People who have rock solid self respect have a basis and reason to justify it, hence why they do not need to put themselves in states and pump themselves up on a regular basis. Steve Pavlina has self respect and has the memory of demonstrating it to himself, thereby reinforcing the need to respect himself further. but when he went through his bad speel at 21, something innate in him, made him feel respect and build on it. He recognised he was more than he was demonstrateing to himself.

People that are the best have a demonstratable track record to base their self beleif. Its the ones that play 'pump up'games that feel deflated at the 1st signs of trouble.

Originally Posted by Plato

You can only increase self respect in a moment. This moment. It doesn't exist in past or future, though you can PLAN to DO high self esteem in the future.

It's easy to feel high self respect. You hold your body with respect. You breathe like a person with high self esteem. You say to yourself, "Damn it, how did I become SO GOD DAMNED AWESOME???!!!"

"Sweet Jesus, I love myself so much."

You cannot do self esteem, or self-respect in the future. This is not fake it till you make it. The ones that try that, are the ones that starts projects, and then quit them at the 1st sign of trouble. Its not respect you can increase in the moment. Its will power. If you respect yourself today, but not tomorrow, and then repeat the pattern for years. Your self respect goes down, because you soon realise you dont take yourself seriously. If you smoke 50 cigs 1 day, then break the next, then cigs the next and on and on. This is not demonstrating respect for yourself and your health.

To demonstrate self-respect you are going to have to carry with demonstratable behaviors for alot longer than a few days at a time


A person who jogs 10 miles daily, can go to 11 with relative ease. A person who is 50 pound over weight can probably jog a few 100 metres, but will not run 5 miles, let alone 10. Self respect like fitness has to be demonstrated by alot more than a few metres of running or behavour.

Think about it. If i told you I have alcohol induced liver disease, but I only get blindingly drunk 2 days a week instead of the 7 I use to, you will not say I have high respect. High respect will be demonstrated by me going cold turkey with help forever, because I beleive I deserve better. I cant turn it off and on daily. I cant drink the next day and claim " well i respected myself yesterday, but not today and I will pick it up tommorow"