You lose if you haven't answered this

[Plato]

What do you want?

How will you know when you've got it?

[alainplus]

I agree. Being specific helps.

I think personal development is very easy. Hard work is easy. The hardest part, for me, is responses from other people. Unconventional methods attract unwanted attention. People start lecturing you and telling you how it's done; some even try to tell you what YOU want. Huh?

For example, I stopped driving my car to work and chose to bike. Not one positive response! All of them were like huh, what's the matter with you? So tempting to reply, "No, Sheep, What's the matter with you?"

If people don't understand, how you do deal with them? Especially if they keep trying to change you? I just ignore them but there's got to be a more pleasant way to at least get them to understand.

[Plato]

It's just about having a focus. Without a focus we are lost.

Originally Posted by alainplus

If people don't understand, how you do deal with them? Especially if they keep trying to change you? I just ignore them but there's got to be a more pleasant way to at least get them to understand.

Well since you asked, I actually have a suggestion. A fantastic way to deal with this issue is The Work of Byron Katie.

Takes about 5 minutes at most. Try it out on the beliefs that "People are always trying to change me" and "people don't understand me"

[alainplus]

It's all about my attitude and my projections. Thanks for that.

I am always trying to change people myself
I don't understand myself that well either

[Plato]

Originally Posted by alainplus

It's all about my attitude and my projections. Thanks for that.

I am always trying to change people myself
I don't understand myself that well either

That is really good Work.

[Angela]

Alainplus, I'd just like to say I think it's very cool that you ride your bike for your transportation -- go, Alainplus!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

What do you want?

How will you know when you've got it?

I would add to my own questioning: is it what I really want -- is it my heart's desire? Do I want this just for myself, or also for the world?

Like alainplus's desire, for instance, he chooses to ride his bike rather than driving, and I would ask myself, what is the purpose of choosing the bike over the car? Health and vitality? My choosing the bike contributes to health and vitality for self, for others, and for the planet, so, Check!

Distinguishing my heart's desire would give me access to speaking powerfully and inspiringly about it, too -- "What's the matter with me? Well, my heart's desire is heath and vitality for myself, for you, and for the planet, and I'm generating that by choosing my bike over my car. I'm riding my bike for you!"

[nhaasch]

Originally Posted by Plato

What do you want?

How will you know when you've got it?

What am I willing to do to get it?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by nhaasch

What am I willing to do to get it?

And what am I willing to let go of to have it?

[Deergirl]

Awesome questions.

I still haven't figured out the answers, but I'm working on it and I guess the answers will change during time as well.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Deergirl

Awesome questions.

I still haven't figured out the answers, but I'm working on it and I guess the answers will change during time as well.

You can ask those questions every moment of the day.

What are you trying to achieve by browsing these forums? How willl you know when you've got it?

I think I spend 99% of my time not having answers to those questions. If I can get that down to 90% I expect a massive improvement in my productivity and effectiveness.

[ns123]

I enjoy going through life not having all the answers, because if I had all the answers, what would the point of it be?

Also, no offense, by which, I probably mean offense, but the title of your post is very standoffish. When I read it, it invites me to call you a loser to even think that there is only one path or one way in which to win at life.

I'm just saying, your title is not very effective in convincing me to listen to your point of view. Your title actually invites me to do the the opposite, argue with you and insult you - which I just did, but to prove my point.

[pianoperformer]

Wow, I really like those two questions.

I will start asking myself that, and see what happens.

Thanks.

[isufreak24]

Originally Posted by Plato

What do you want?

How will you know when you've got it?

Thought-provoking questions for sure, but not in all cases. I value time spent when I am completely spontaneous and/or curious, and have no definite outcome in mind. Those can be the most rewarding experiences, and often lead to the biggest opportunities.

I'm still in the very long process of identifying the answers to those questions for my life's direction. Do I 'lose' if I can't give you a definite answer right now, but am consciously examining the deepest parts of myself to better know what I want?

[fionamydear]

hello plato,

what i want is happiness and satisfaction in life,
i will get it when i do any usefull work to my society.......
when i get it I feel it deep inside my heart and soul,

thank u for this wonderful question.....

[Plato]

Originally Posted by isufreak24

I'm still in the very long process of identifying the answers to those questions for my life's direction.

How will you know when you have identified your life direction?

If you don't tell your mind where to go it will end up chasing its own tail.

You don't want to spend your life in a state of futile uncertainty, never knowing what you should be doing, do you? The pitfall of setting an intention for finding your life direction in the future, is that you manifest a lack of direction in the present.

This will go on indefinately. It will end when you are ready to choose to feel certain, right now. And I don't think you have been ready, until now. It's time to know yourself.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

I will start asking myself that, and see what happens.

Clarity and efficiency, for me.

The sheer number of wasteful, stupid and harmful habits I have is quite overwhelming. With these questions I'm able to clearly identify them, and get rid of them!

I watched The Lord Of The Rings (all 9 hours) earlier this week. I don't know why. When I applied the questions I realised it was because I felt uneasy and wanted something to distract me. I never actually achieved that anyway -- I still felt uneasy after the films!

10 minutes relaxation to feel good on purpose would have been far more effective!

I only know that because of the questions.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by fionamydear

hello plato,

what i want is happiness and satisfaction in life,
i will get it when i do any usefull work to my society.......
when i get it I feel it deep inside my heart and soul,

thank u for this wonderful question.....

I wish you all the happiness and satisfaction fionamydear! ...

[Otenka]

Originally Posted by ns123

I enjoy going through life not having all the answers, because if I had all the answers, what would the point of it be?

Also, no offense, by which, I probably mean offense, but the title of your post is very standoffish. When I read it, it invites me to call you a loser to even think that there is only one path or one way in which to win at life.

I'm just saying, your title is not very effective in convincing me to listen to your point of view. Your title actually invites me to do the the opposite, argue with you and insult you - which I just did, but to prove my point.

^ This

Commenting the form:
I think it's only natural for people to react to an agressive stance. I would go as saying it's a bit immature, it's just as cheap as shouting "SEX!" and them proceeding "Now that I've got your attention...".


Commenting the substance:
Like another one said. If one did that to at least 50% (I know you said 90%) it would make a big difference regarding personal produtivity. It's a good conscious exercise. To be aware of the goals you can be achieving by what you are doing right now. I don't need to be doing that 100% of the time because like ANOTHER one said, by continously asking that, one hinders being spountaineous. I think rejecting false dichotomies and embracing personal balance is the way to go.

PS: Sorry for the typos.. My head hurts.

[isufreak24]

Originally Posted by Plato

How will you know when you have identified your life direction?

If you don't tell your mind where to go it will end up chasing its own tail.

You don't want to spend your life in a state of futile uncertainty, never knowing what you should be doing, do you? The pitfall of setting an intention for finding your life direction in the future, is that you manifest a lack of direction in the present.

This will go on indefinately. It will end when you are ready to choose to feel certain, right now. And I don't think you have been ready, until now. It's time to know yourself.

I certainly don't spend my life in a state of futile uncertainty. I keep a list of the values that I hold most important to myself, and from those values I derive a set of concrete goals. Almost all of these are short-term (less than 1 year). There is no problem with day-to-day clarity on what I need to do to achieve these goals.

My reply was more for a life-purpose answer. I have plenty of lifelong objectives that I will pursue until the day I die (continuous personal growth/learning, building deeper relationships, leaving a large positive impact on the world, etc, etc), but I don't yet know what I want my definite life purpose to be. And for me at least, there's no way I can sit down and figure it out in 20 minutes. Absolutely no way.

So I therefore think it's possible to not be able to answer your questions in entirety, but still wake up every morning and live a life of purpose and clarity that is congruent with my values. And when I fall into bed every night, if I succeeded in making the day count, I know myself a little bit better.

Hopefully that made sense. I should have been more clear in my first response, because I certainly believe that my mind is not chasing its own tail.

Thanks Plato for the stimulating discussion.

[nhaasch]

Originally Posted by Angela

And what am I willing to let go of to have it?

You know a recent event makes me feel inclined to have a boundary with these two questions. Otherwise I've felt the inclination to constantly raise the stakes beyond what might be healthy for me.

So perhaps:
And at what point would I let go of it?