Frustration, no epiphany

[JMonkey]

I've been into personal development for some time now, perhaps a little over a year and a half. Over that time I have read many books, documents, websites, forums; I have also watched videos and listened to audio tapes.
In that time I have realised that I have a great potential. I have come to realise that there are many things in this world which I want to do and I know what things I have to do to improve my life.

The trouble is however, whilst I know doing these things will improve my life dramatically I fail to get the ball rolling at a constant speed. Instead I will gently nudge it a cm or two one week, then it won't move for weeks at a time. You see, when I read/listen/watch information on personal development, nothing really clicks in my head. I will read through and say "Yeah, that makes sense" but I won't have that "WOW! This is going to make the difference"

I'm getting really frustrated with myself, it's as though there is a little me inside my head tearing his hair out screaming "Do something, do anything!!!" but my actual self just lays there like a stuffed walrus.

Sure, at least I have the right idea in my head about my life; but what good is that without action?

[Hanselich]

If I understand you well, you are just not able to take action probably because of fear to fail in what you are doing or to change your life in the way you are feared of living. This is fear that comes from inside and is hard to recognize. Though I think you should try just starting thing you want to do in your head and when you will start doing them I think you will get motivation to go forward and finish the tasks or change your life entirely.

[shivraj]

Listen to the world but always follow your own heart.

You are your best friend and guide in the whole world.

You really have to look inside yourself

And find your own inner strength and say,

"I'm proud of what I am and who I am,

I'm just going to be myself.

[Deergirl]

Having an idea is already a very very very good beginning. You're noting without an idea. You know where you are heading to and what your goal will be eventually.

Maybe you should set small goals to start with and make a belief board with those goals. Maybe that will help you move the ball a couple more centimeters and who knows, it will make the ball move meters.

You have to start small. I understand you've been trying for some time now, but you can not give up. You've been moving forward, though at a rather slow pass. Try to take action yourself, even if it's sending an email to someone who can provide you with extra information or meet up with some friends and discuss your ideas. Maybe they know how to get the ball rolling.

[Black Spring]

Go for a jog. Clean the kitchen. Move yourself around. Laying around reading books and sending emails won't give you an "epiphany".

Put yourself somewhere unfamiliar. Do something you normally wouldn't do..

[SimonaRich]

Looks like there are still some limiting beliefs in you that constantly sabotage you so you don't take any action or you take very little of it. Try to uncover limiting beliefs about success in you and you will be well on you way to a much more successful life.

[themaster]

Most of these suggestions are pretty good

I would suggest the same.. follow your passion, joy, excitement in each moment.. and it will lead to the next one and the next one.. if you’re sitting around and can't decide which that is.. just take the best feeling one or anyone and go through it..

And understand that you don't have to limit what excites you.. you could pull out some modeling clay you've had in your cupboard and make dinosaurs?
You could be excited about surfing the net and yes writing some emails?
You could pull out a sheet of paper and sketch a invention you'd like to build?

And also understand that even if you DO nothing at all you can be happy.. you think a 5 year old wakes up in the morning and goes I should do this and this?? but sits around frustrated cause he doesn't do something..

A 5 year old can sit on his bed for hours and be amazed and happy and alive and thrilled and excited and it goes on and on.. the point of my statements.. you don't have to do ANYTHING to be happy

[Eric Roosevelt]

Videos and audio tapes are great for giving you an emotional boost along the way (which is underestimated by some people, who dismiss the idea that we need any emotional boosts), but the ideas and habits that prove the most useful to you are usually the ones that you come up with yourself.

Do you have any specific, measurable goals that you're working towards, and that you really care about?

If you do, what will it take for you to achieve them?

[Orecle]

Your problem is a popular one,that I have not heard addressed by a speaker. The problem you have is the same Tony Robbins had. Personal development is mostly advice based, rather than systematic. This is what drew Tony to Nlp. It is more system based than the other speakers who just give you advice like set your goals, manage your time, think positive, but no specific system with which to apply it with


Think of any education system. From kindergarten all the way to college, your learning is systematic, syllabus is clear and at the end of your course, you know what you can do with what you have learnt. By the end, you should be able to apply what you have learnt.

The problem with advice base programs, is its left open to the confidence and trust of the listener. With specific systems, you know what to do in specific situations.

Martial arts, McDonalds, Starbucks, all the successful people, companies are very systematic in the way, they do things. When i do X, I get X,...so I will do X

You have probably heard Robert Kayosaki say "If you can make a better burger than McDonalds, why are they more successful". The answer is McDs are extremely sytematic in what they do.

The strength of a system is demonstrated by how weak the individuals using it can be, and still get excellent results inspite of themselves. A system is based on very specific actions that get very specific results. If you have worked in McDs, you will know, all the cooking is done on timers, every thing is planned in a manual. From the cow all the way to the cooked burger, is planned and systematised, to ensure efficiency and effectiveness. A really mediocre manager can run a shift and still not muck up. This is the power of a really good system.

Now, compare that to a normal family run restaurant. When a good manager is on, every thing is ok. When a mediocre one, who has no system is on shift, the restaurant falls apart.

A good system is about action and not philosophy. Do this, get that. You dont have to understannd a system to work it and get good results. The problem with self help is its very easy to learn alot and do nothing.
Alot of people are not aware of this, Napoleon HIll, the father of personal dev was almost broke before he retired. While he had alot of philosophy, he never devised a system to turn his system into mega bucks.......even though he wrote 'THINK AND GROW RICH', unlike his student W.Clement stone who took Napoleon Hills advice and turned it into mega riches. This is what Tony did as well, he took all he had learned and turned it into a system making himself the most popular motivator ever.

My advice

take all you have learnt and craft out aspecific actionable system in which you can turn all that philosophy into specific actions you can do and get results.

1. get a blank piece of paper
2. Write out from memory as much philosophy as you can remember
3. Take your goals and figure out how to turn all that philosophy into specific actionable steps with which to acheive your goals, and with which you can guarantee yourself specific results every time you take these actions

[Apollo]

Originally Posted by Orecle

Your problem is a popular one,that I have not heard addressed by a speaker. The problem you have is the same Tony Robbins had. Personal development is mostly advice based, rather than systematic. This is what drew Tony to Nlp. It is more system based than the other speakers who just give you advice like set your goals, manage your time, think positive, but no specific system with which to apply it with


Think of any education system. From kindergarten all the way to college, your learning is systematic, syllabus is clear and at the end of your course, you know what you can do with what you have learnt. By the end, you should be able to apply what you have learnt.

The problem with advice base programs, is its left open to the confidence and trust of the listener. With specific systems, you know what to do in specific situations.

Martial arts, McDonalds, Starbucks, all the successful people, companies are very systematic in the way, they do things. When i do X, I get X,...so I will do X

You have probably heard Robert Kayosaki say "If you can make a better burger than McDonalds, why are they more successful". The answer is McDs are extremely sytematic in what they do.

The strength of a system is demonstrated by how weak the individuals using it can be, and still get excellent results inspite of themselves. A system is based on very specific actions that get very specific results. If you have worked in McDs, you will know, all the cooking is done on timers, every thing is planned in a manual. From the cow all the way to the cooked burger, is planned and systematised, to ensure efficiency and effectiveness. A really mediocre manager can run a shift and still not muck up. This is the power of a really good system.

Now, compare that to a normal family run restaurant. When a good manager is on, every thing is ok. When a mediocre one, who has no system is on shift, the restaurant falls apart.

A good system is about action and not philosophy. Do this, get that. You dont have to understannd a system to work it and get good results. The problem with self help is its very easy to learn alot and do nothing.
Alot of people are not aware of this, Napoleon HIll, the father of personal dev was almost broke before he retired. While he had alot of philosophy, he never devised a system to turn his system into mega bucks.......even though he wrote 'THINK AND GROW RICH', unlike his student W.Clement stone who took Napoleon Hills advice and turned it into mega riches. This is what Tony did as well, he took all he had learned and turned it into a system making himself the most popular motivator ever.

My advice

take all you have learnt and craft out aspecific actionable system in which you can turn all that philosophy into specific actions you can do and get results.

1. get a blank piece of paper
2. Write out from memory as much philosophy as you can remember
3. Take your goals and figure out how to turn all that philosophy into specific actionable steps with which to acheive your goals, and with which you can guarantee yourself specific results every time you take these actions

Just wanted to say I think this is a FANTASTIC post that really hits the nail on the head.

I certainly agree and experience the same issue as the OP and this post not only makes a whole bunch of sense as to why the issue is so common, but also a clear idea of how to overcome it.

Thanks for posting Orecle.

[JMonkey]

Thanks for all the replies, some great ideas I'll see about implementing.

I think I have an impatience I need to qwell, I seem to want results fast which is silly I know. Perhaps it's because I could do with a happier, more fulfilled life now and no later. Must be patient.

[Lauxa]

Hi JMonkey, just wanted to share something I have been playing with the last couple of days... FUN!

Whenever I "see" negative thoughts come up I am turning my mind to fun. What could I be doing that would be fun, or what could I do to make this job more fun, or have I ever had fun doing this thing that I am doing now.

"Manifesting" fun isn't very hard at all, direct your thoughts towards fun and fun will appear. And your life will be instantly improved by having more fun, no patience required.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by JMonkey

I've been into personal development for some time now, perhaps a little over a year and a half. Over that time I have read many books, documents, websites, forums; I have also watched videos and listened to audio tapes.
In that time I have realised that I have a great potential. I have come to realise that there are many things in this world which I want to do and I know what things I have to do to improve my life.

The trouble is however, whilst I know doing these things will improve my life dramatically I fail to get the ball rolling at a constant speed. Instead I will gently nudge it a cm or two one week, then it won't move for weeks at a time. You see, when I read/listen/watch information on personal development, nothing really clicks in my head. I will read through and say "Yeah, that makes sense" but I won't have that "WOW! This is going to make the difference"

I'm getting really frustrated with myself, it's as though there is a little me inside my head tearing his hair out screaming "Do something, do anything!!!" but my actual self just lays there like a stuffed walrus.

Sure, at least I have the right idea in my head about my life; but what good is that without action?

I can relate.

I'd say my dominant alignment resides in the principles of truth (knowledge; mental understanding; self awareness; etc) and love (passion; connection with my desires and what I enjoy; being caring and attentive; etc), but exercising power (getting things done; initiating something; saying yes to what I want, and no to what I don't; etc) is a challenge for me.

I've learned the most about power from modeling--exposing myself to--those who are aligned with power and the work they produce.

In terms of people to model...

I find Slade Roberson's blog (and Slade himself) to be a great help in terms of being able to see someone who embodies power, but also love and truth. One of the (many) messages I get from reading Slade's articles is "making use of the law of attraction and your intuition is great, but reality is here and now, and to make the shifts you desire, you must ground yourself where you stand and work from there."

Steve (Pavlina) is also great. What I love about Steve is that he's resonates strongly with power, but is also very authentic and humble. I will mention, however, that I find modeling Steve as a person to be more effective than trying to take action on the ideas in his blog posts (in my experience, a lot of Steve's specific ideas about how to do things don't always work for me, so I remember that when I read his article and do my best to learn from and be inspired by the example Steve sets, not just the ideas he shares. For me, Steve's articles and ideas are the medium for his example--his example being the thing I consider to be truly valuable). (Oh, and don't forget Erin--Steve's wife--as someone to learn from. Erin is certainly has no problems making things happen, and more recently, I've do believe I've seen much more power in the post and articles I've seen from her. Maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see, heh, but Erin seems much more focused and seated in her power these days).

I also have a close friend who, in my opinion, has good power alignment. I interact with her frequently and in the short time I've known her, she's helped me jump up a few notches in terms of power by showing me an example of what a powerful person looks like in action.

* * *

I've been consciously exploring personal development for about 3 years, and I had the same thoughts as you about 2 years ago. If I was talking to myself from 2 years ago I'd say:

Relax, relax... you're doing fine. What you're experiencing is part of the process. Consider that before you begin to get results you might just need more knowledge--and that said knowledge might come not from a book or article you read, but from trying to make progress towards what you want and failing... and failing... and failing. As you keep going you'll learn what works and what doesn't, and most of all, you'll learn about yourself. Do you have a goal that you've been working on, but make little progress with? Maybe it's because you don't even care about the goal to begin with, and maybe you don't even have enough self-awareness or connection with your true desires to realise this. If that is the case, you can try to find a solution to that 'problem' by reading more, but maybe it's not a problem, just something to accept as something that true for you now, where you stand.

What I said was very personal to me and my experience of personal development (after all, I did say I was speaking to myself from 2 years ago ), but hopefully you can see some of yourself in my self from 2 years ago and find some benefit from what my present self had to say.

By the way, my present self has failed even more than my self from 2 years ago, and isn't much more sure of where he's going or what the best solution is, but he has learned to make peace with that and drop the idea of "one day I'll have the ultimate solution," which keeps you in seeking mode instead of doing and enjoying mode--although he realises that seeking mode is still useful, and is something he still slips into at times so he can re-learn and learn more about lessons he's already learned. He finds it easier to recognise patterns these days and maintain the states he desires, but he also finds that there are always new, more challenging challenges, and that's something to embrace as your real work, not as something that's in the way of what you want.

You said:

Sure, at least I have the right idea in my head about my life; but what good is that without action?

There might be a reason you learn as much as you do. Perhaps (gasp!) you enjoy it (dun, dun, DUN!).

One thing I've learned about myself is that I enjoy exploring. I'm a serial explorer--I LOVE to explore.

I used to beat myself up for moving onto something else--another book; another project; another experience--without finishing what I was previously engaged in, but I've since learned that I wasn't engaging in it to produce results--I was engaging in it to explore. I wanted to enjoy the journey, not arrive at a destination. If anything, exploring was the destination for me, and once I had had explored as much as I desired, my journey was complete and my destination was reached.

You might think "that sounds like a recipe for no results," but the more I indulge my desire to explore, the more I see it as a useful strength that exposes me to many new ideas and resources that ultimately help me in my personal development, and also in my career (looking for the perfect career path was also something I used to do, and I'd be uber frustrated whenever I "thought I had something" that I later didn't end up having as much long-term interest in as I thought I would. I now attribute the "this is interesting now, but maybe not later" to my urge to explore. Of course, if I want results I have to stick to something, but I give myself permission to explore more these days).

In all of these words, I think my point is to enjoy the journey and consider that the journey itself might very well be the destination you seek. Here's a really good line I'd deliver to my self from 2 years ago (my present self could also benefit from hearing it too, heh):

The more you seek some sort of idealistic destination, the more you miss out on the amazing one you're already at. Even if it seems unlikely, consider--just for a moment--that where you are right now is already the 'there' you are hoping to get it. From that place, ask yourself: "what would I like to do that I've arrived where I want to go?" My answer is usually "what I'm doing now, or something similar," which helps me realise that I'm doing what I'm doing not just to reach a destination, but because, for a large part, it IS the destination--something I enjoy. I engage in it for the joy of it.