Dont stress, one day you will die, and the cause of the stress will not matter.

[ChaosKiwi]

I often come across the posts on many of the threads in the Pavilina forums that offer advice along the lines of "Don't worry or stress about this or that, because one day you will be dead and it will not matter".

I would like to start a dialog about this.

Personally this frustrates me. It presupposes that stress and worrying are inherently bad. It is nihilistic in that if the above statement is true then any event or work will ultimately not be important. As such it completely ignores that any work or effort could be important for a limited span of time.

On a more personal level whenever I have tried to use this to calm or motivate myself it has done nothing but stress me out. In such situations I feel like I am closer to my death without experiencing and or achieving the things I want to. I think this is because I cannot accurately gauge the amount of time till this final event (for obvious reasons). It may actually be because my conscious perception of time really only extends about a month into the past (Do you know what I mean? Like I only feel presently connected to each day for the past month at the most, after that it is only the more significant events that I remember), which I may relate to my conscious perception of time left in the future.

Your thoughts please.

[dinc]

I kind of agree with this.

There is a reason stress exists, it can push you in the right directions, tell you where you're going wrong, and help you get your life back on track if you've lost your way. I really like the concept of eustress (4 hour work week), being good stress like butterflies before a recital. It helps you grow as a person.

[SimonaRich]

The thought that you will eventually die will only stress yourself out if you don't really know what happens after death. In reality there is no real death, only death of your physical body, but who you really are is immortal.

So the reason why you should not stress yourself out over small things because on a bigger scale it is not even visible. You should live not counting the days that are left for you to be alive, but trying to enjoy your time here as much as possible. Why would you choose to worry about things when you have this beautiful life experience? It is just not worth it.

[ChaosKiwi]

Originally Posted by SimonaRich

The thought that you will eventually die will only stress yourself out if you don't really know what happens after death. In reality there is no real death, only death of your physical body, but who you really are is immortal.

It is not the thought of death that causes stress, it is the thought of not achieving the things important to me on this plane of existence by the time the reaper comes.

Originally Posted by SimonaRich

Why would you choose to worry about things when you have this beautiful life experience? It is just not worth it.

So I should not worry if I hit a pedestrian in my car? Just drive off knowing life is a beautiful experience? Worrying can serve a higher purpose. Granted that many things that people focus on are not worth worrying about.

When we find ourselves worrying for a legitimate reason (like concerning ourselves with the welfare of the pedestrian we just hit in our car) if we believe the above quote it could lead to us not reacting in a natural way to the situation. This could cause unnecessary stress and worrying, that do not serve any purpose other than highlighting the fact that we are negatively affecting our own reality through a (perhaps) faulty line of conscious reasoning.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by ChaosKiwi

Worrying can serve a higher purpose.....(like concerning ourselves with the welfare of the pedestrian we just hit in our car)

What higher purpose, exactly, is served by worrying?

How, precisely, does worrying contribute to the welfare of the pedestrian you just hit with your car?

[Asmoday]

Originally Posted by Angela

What higher purpose, exactly, is served by worrying?

How, precisely, does worrying contribute to the welfare of the pedestrian you just hit with your car?

LOL, I suppose we could worry a lot as we SLAM on the GAS and get the heck outta town because I ain't going to jail for NOBODY!

(JUST KIDDING PEOPLE)

Worry is something we learn, not something we're born doing. So, we have to imitate it from somewhere, and we learn it so young its one of those stylized facts that isn't a fact at all, and actually a hinderance.

But, I'm not quite sure that how we're interpreting "worry" is what the poster is specifically referring to here.

[dinc]

Originally Posted by Angela

What higher purpose, exactly, is served by worrying?

How, precisely, does worrying contribute to the welfare of the pedestrian you just hit with your car?

Well, obviously worrying can serve a preliminary preventative purpose.

And that particular unpleasant emotion can be associated with the act of hitting a pedestrian with a car, an admittedly bad thing, making a reocurrence very unlikely.

I think it is just that the death of another should impact the killer in some sort of negative way. Of course, I'm of the belief that justice can and should go beyond the realm of preventative action.

@Asmoday
Why do you think that worrying is simply something we imitate? There is a very real possibility that worrying is in fact inherent. There are many inherent characteristics and instincts present in both humans and animals that do not manifest themselves until much later in life, so why assume that worrying doesn't fit into this category?

[Daffy Duck]

Maybe "caring" would have been a better word than "worrying."

"I should care if I hit someone with my car. Care about helping them by calling an ambulance, helping them keep calm, etc."

Worrying -- as in, sitting at home thinking "I hope they're not dying, I hope they're not dying, I hope they're not dying!" -- would not help at all, no.

Originally Posted by Asmoday

But, I'm not quite sure that how we're interpreting "worry" is what the poster is specifically referring to here.

Indeed. SEMANTICS, Angela!!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dinc

And that particular unpleasant emotion can be associated with the act of hitting a pedestrian with a car, an admittedly bad thing, making a reocurrence very unlikely.

I don't know about you, but I don't need to worry, or to feel any unpleasant emotions at all, to be motivated not to hit a pedestrian with a car.

Indeed. SEMANTICS, Angela!!

Oh, hush, Duck.

SimonaRich was specifically referring to "stressing yourself out" when she talked about worry, and that's what ChaosKiwi answered. So insert "stress yourself out" for "worry" and then you come paddle over here and quack at me about semantics.

Did I ever tell you about the pet duck we had when I was a kid? It was always trying to bite my butt. Just like you!

[Daffy Duck]

Did I ever tell you about the pet duck we had when I was a kid? It was always trying to bite my butt. Just like you!

It's me! I reincarnated. I missed your butt.

Originally Posted by Angela

So insert "stress yourself out" for "worry" and then you come paddle over here and quack at me about semantics.

True, true. Honestly I just skimmed through the posts. If I had read more thoroughly, I may not have made the crack at you!

[Angela]

Oh, wait... the point was, why stress yourself out (aka worry) with thoughts of your eventual death, when you could be enjoying your life?

Once you've taken your right actions about the poor pedestrian (everybody be careful driving tonight!), gotten him to the hospital etc... does it serve a higher purpose to worry/stress about him? I'm not saying it's wrong or anything to have caring thoughts towards him, and it may be a bit inappropriate for you to go get drunk with Pamela Anderson, but thinking thoughts that have you feeling bad aren't going to help him heal any faster. As a matter of fact, if you believe in the law of attraction, thinking thoughts that feel good (like: about his speedy and comfortable recovery) would be time more fruitfully spent!

Likewise, you did everything there was to do about about your eventual death, the day you were born. There is no further action necessary on that score. Any stressful or bad feeling thoughts you have about it aren't going to help stave off death -- quite the contrary, I think. So in this case, I think it would be perfectly appropriate to go drinking with Pam; just don't drink out of her glass.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

It's me! I reincarnated. I missed your butt.


True, true. Honestly I just skimmed through the posts. If I had read more thoroughly, I may not have made the crack at you!

I find that remark very unbeakcoming of you. You must be very mallardjusted.

[dinc]

Originally Posted by Angela

I don't know about you, but I don't need to worry, or to feel any unpleasant emotions at all, to be motivated not to hit a pedestrian with a car.

Ah, but the world is full of nihilistic, lazy, and careless bastards.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dinc

Ah, but the world is full of nihilistic, lazy, and careless bastards.

Well, bastards like that aren't going to be swayed by a little inconvenience like taking someone out with their Hummer. (I assume they all drive gas-guzzlers.)

[dinc]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, bastards like that aren't going to be swayed by a little inconvenience like taking someone out with their Hummer. (I assume they all drive gas-guzzlers.)

Aww, admit it. Can't you see some buzzed redneck driving recklessly, hitting someone, then thinking, "Oh crap, never doing that again."

I see you dislike Hummers....That means you dislike our military, that means you're anti-democracy, that means you're anti-American, and that basically means you're a traitor, and being a traitor to your country is like raping a whole family... Look at you, you just raped a whole family... You sicken me.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dinc

You sicken me.

I know what you mean. I'm watching the Lakers.

[Daffy Duck]

I love lakes! I live in one.

But I mostly believe in Magic.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by ChaosKiwi

I often come across the posts on many of the threads in the Pavilina forums that offer advice along the lines of "Don't worry or stress about this or that, because one day you will be dead and it will not matter"...

(W)henever I have tried to use this to calm or motivate myself it has done nothing but stress me out.

Maybe this is not the right motivator for you then.

Personally this frustrates me. It presupposes that stress and worrying are inherently bad.

Why were you trying to calm or motivate yourself in the first place? I would say because you find a state of stress and worrying to be undesirable.

When we find ourselves worrying for a legitimate reason (like concerning ourselves with the welfare of the pedestrian we just hit in our car) if we believe the above quote it could lead to us not reacting in a natural way to the situation. This could cause unnecessary stress and worrying, that do not serve any purpose other than highlighting the fact that we are negatively affecting our own reality through a (perhaps) faulty line of conscious reasoning.

I think you don't actually desire worry and stress, but you might feel that you "deserve" them or that you "need" them to make you behave "correctly". Do you not trust that your own desires can lead you to a compassionate solution without worry?

It is nihilistic in that if the above statement is true then any event or work will ultimately not be important. As such it completely ignores that any work or effort could be important for a limited span of time.

Important for who or what? Importance can only be defined through context, and we each get to decide what is important for us. For some, living life with as much joy as possible is more important than anything that they could worry over. Many here believe that by releasing worry first, the things we desire will come more easily and abundantly than if we bothered to worry over them. This is not to say don't put out any work or effort, only that worry is not required as a motivator for accomplishing said effort, and in fact can often increase the resistence to performing the necessary actions.

[ChaosKiwi]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Why were you trying to calm or motivate yourself in the first place? I would say because you find a state of stress and worrying to be undesirable.

I am impressed by the insightfulness of this comment, if it is not a general statement about everybody . While ideally I try to motivate myself through the possibility of excitement and fun, my recent efforts been primarily based on trying to remove myself from a stressful living situation.

Originally Posted by Lauxa

I think you don't actually desire worry and stress, but you might feel that you "deserve" them or that you "need" them to make you behave "correctly".

Spot on! I feel I need them. I think they are are good indicator of right action inline with human nature.

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Do you not trust that your own desires can lead you to a compassionate solution without worry?

No I do not trust my own desires. This is due to bad habits, unnatural anxieties and fears I am unfortunately responsible for cultivating within myself over the past five years or so. I concede that a more personally developed human could do this.

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Important for who or what? Importance can only be defined through context, and we each get to decide what is important for us. For some, living life with as much joy as possible is more important than anything that they could worry over.

I don't think "important for who or what" is relevant, just that the statement I originally refer to negates the importance of anything.

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Many here believe that by releasing worry first, the things we desire will come more easily and abundantly than if we bothered to worry over them. This is not to say don't put out any work or effort, only that worry is not required as a motivator for accomplishing said effort, and in fact can often increase the resistence to performing the necessary actions.

What does "releasing worry first" mean? If it means feeling that initial emotional response to an action and then dropping it before it becomes unhelpful, that is what I am referring to. I am under the understanding that most worry and stress is unnecessary and unhealthy. I still think that there are some situations where worrying about something, or feeling stress (like the "eustress" dinc talks about) are healthy.

Lol, I read over the posts in this thread like 5 times trying to figure out why everyone was cracking jokes about ducks. At first I was going to dismiss it, like water off my back, but I finally got it (haha Hummer O_o).

[brendannz]

It's said that 90% of what we worry about doesn't happen. So 90% of the time, the stress wasn't worth it. If that makes sense. Mind you, life without setbacks and disappointments can be life without growth.

I suppose there's 2 sides of the coin to consider