Home schooling.

[emeadow]

For me, I might have had a much better 'education' in a home schooled enviroment, but socially, I probably would have struggled more without being forced into public school systems. Although, I couldn't imagine either of my parents home schooling, so it probably worked out best in the public system. I was usually on the edge of the 'gifted' programs, and as much as the teachers tried to challenge me, I was almost always bored, and my grades would fall because of it.

I have given this MUCH thought over the years, went back and forth as to what we would do if we had children, and I have decided in the last year 100% I would home school. The resources available now, the local groups and forums in the communities for social events, field days, outdoor education, ect are just tremendous now. My main concern with home schooling was always the social aspect, and believe if you are aware and just make that a focus just like you would a learning subject, the children would be fine.

I have spent a lot of time reading blogs of parents who home school, and that has helped me feel more comfortable with progressing down this path should we get there. Part of the reason for my pre-planning, is that financially for me to stay home and home school, we would need to make some changes in our lifestyles and careers.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by aforumbear

The other thing I noticed, was often the mother who did the home schooling was very unhappy giving up her job. While she loves her children - home schooling was seen as a sacrifice of her own success and freedom for the sake of her kids.
Deep down - she resented it. Angry at her hubby for being at work and getting a "Break" from the kids.
Then if she gained any weight...well being home was the reason for that...so fueling even more resentment.
I guess it's different with every family, but these two factors I have seen in 3/3 home schooled families that I know.

Wow. My experience with the two homeschooling families I know have been the total opposite. Both wives did give up their careers (in which they made more than their husbands at that point), but they find fulfillment in other ways now, just not through career. And they are both very slim and pretty hot moms. And in both of these families, the husband/wife relationship is pretty open and honest. They are not perfect, but this homeschooling family dynamic has worked well for them. So in my own experience, it has been 2/2 success.

[Elfwing]

What a lot of people forget is that it's also easy to not develop social skills in a public/private school environment. The only social skills I have are from interacting with teachers. I was always alone.

[Disturbance]

Slightly OT, maybe, but:

What could be done after a person has been corrupted by conventional schooling? I reckon not being home schooled affected my life majorly.

I used to be very bright, imaginative, artistic and interested in learning in creative ways. I had natural leading qualities, and loved discovering new things in my own time. I was a self-declared genius at the age of 7.

Now I severy lack in social skills, hate conventional learning, have trouble ridding myself from daydreams and accepting reality, and sport a vision as bas as -8 in both eyes.
Two years ago I had restored my natural interest in learning and applied to four Universities, but after realising what a pain is was just to study for the entry exams I failed them all.
Recently I've suffered from stress-induced amnesia and a serious lack of concentration due to feeling overwhelmed by conventional society, traditions, expectations and limitations.

I've started to engage in socially liberating activities such as raw food, parkour and polyamory, but the educational motivation part is still a major issue. How could I "undo" the conditioning that harmed me?

[aelle]

Originally Posted by Disturbance

Slightly OT, maybe, but:

What could be done after a person has been corrupted by conventional schooling? I reckon not being home schooled affected my life majorly.

I used to be very bright, imaginative, artistic and interested in learning in creative ways. I had natural leading qualities, and loved discovering new things in my own time. I was a self-declared genius at the age of 7.

Now I severy lack in social skills, hate conventional learning, have trouble ridding myself from daydreams and accepting reality, and sport a vision as bas as -8 in both eyes.
Two years ago I had restored my natural interest in learning and applied to four Universities, but after realising what a pain is was just to study for the entry exams I failed them all.
Recently I've suffered from stress-induced amnesia and a serious lack of concentration due to feeling overwhelmed by conventional society, traditions, expectations and limitations.

I've started to engage in socially liberating activities such as raw food, parkour and polyamory, but the educational motivation part is still a major issue. How could I "undo" the conditioning that harmed me?

You need to find love back. Love for learning, for new activities... Once you know what you are passionate about, you won't have a problem studying and achieving your goals. School does not teach discipline, it teaches obedience. You need to unlearn obedience to goals that you did not set and did not care about (why were you going to university? for you, or because it's expected of you?) and discover what you are eager to achieve.
It can take a phase of lazyness and very very low achievements to unschool oneself. Don't worry, embrace it. Passion will come back.

[Disturbance]

Thanks for your kind words. I assume there's nothing else to do but wait and see.

I'm interested in nutrition, and based on my research a University would be the only institution able to take me far enough in the field. Unfortnately the one and only Uni round here does not specify in any particular area but more on plain theory, and that's why I see a good reason why I didn't get in.

People keep asking me about further study plans, but I don't let that startle me. I'm more upset about how Universities in general just don't seem like good places to study at all. The plan is to keep working and making money until something else makes better sense.

[carenkh]

I've noticed a lot of things people attribute to homeschooling - mom being unhappy, kids having different social skills, etc. are also true of families whose kids are in school. You can't blame the homeschooling. I certainly know a few moms who aren't happy with where they are in life, and they're resentful and take it out in different ways. Their kids go to school.

What some people say are poor social skills, I see as a step in a child's development, when they're allowed to be true to who they are. My oldest preferred to be home, and do things alone until fairly recently. He's 16. I gave him plenty of opportunities to do things with other kids, and he does do a lot with others - but his preference is for one-on-one interaction. In a group, he tends to shut down. As he gets older, I see this changing as he wants to do more group things. It's about honoring him where he is - we're looking for books about social skills, etc. because it's important to him now.

Someone looking from the outside might think: Homeschooler! Poor social skills! But I see it as, he's had the freedom to be himself. All the while, letting him know people think it's important to make eye contact, how to make small talk, etc. He's not a small talk kinda guy. He brings other gifts and strengths into the mix.

[Honeywith4bees]

You know I used to home school my kids before my life took a new direction, so I still know and socialize with a big group of home schooling families. I sometimes make the joke that I had to send my kids back to public school because they are just too ordinary. So many of the kids we know are doing such extraordinary things with their time because they have been granted the freedom to pursue their passions.

And like Caren pointed out, you can find unhappy children and unhappy parents in any setting. Although the people I personally know that have been unhappy with their homeschooling experiences have mostly been the people who were pretty rigid in their expectations.

[Doku]

Originally Posted by ns123

My neighbor homeschoools. She has 4 children, ages 5-16. They are all homeschooled and are the best behaved, well mannered, articulate, delightful young people I've ever came across.

I have had the same experience with one of my co-worker's family. They are also ultra-religious (Mormon) The big thing that I have found is that the parents have to want to homeschool, and enjoy their own children.

Originally Posted by Sea

I think it should be backwards - we should be focusing on the process of learning itself. That way, a person can go out and learn anything they want by themselves in their own personalized style for maximum efficiency. I digress.

This is one of the prime reasons that we chose to homeschool.

Originally Posted by aforumbear

The main downside I noticed in those around me who had their children home schooled, was a lack of social skills in their kids.
The children were more introverted, and less comfortable playing with others outside their own family.

The other thing I noticed, was often the mother who did the home schooling was very unhappy giving up her job. While she loves her children - home schooling was seen as a sacrifice of her own success and freedom for the sake of her kids.
Deep down - she resented it. Angry at her hubby for being at work and getting a "Break" from the kids.
Then if she gained any weight...well being home was the reason for that...so fueling even more resentment.
I guess it's different with every family, but these two factors I have seen in 3/3 home schooled families that I know.

The problem here seems to be that the mother was somehow forced into homeschooling, and didn't want to do it. That's setting yourself up for failure, and the outcome is not at all surprising to me. Of the homeschool families that I know, every one of the "failures" contains a mother or father who never wanted to homeschool in the first place.


--Doku

[Remiel]

As a homeschooler for all my life I just thought I'd comment. I loved it. Having Aspergers it allowed me to learn and prepare for college in a way that public schools would not have gotten. I have no doubt that I would have been very bad off if I was in a public school.

Also about the social aspec, This may vary from city to city but here in my hometown of Boise the social was never an issue. Idaho has laws in place to allow homeschoolers to participate in public school classes / activities(primarily designed for speech teams, sports, band, etc). In addition to that we have a strong homeschooling community. I was always hanging out with my homeschool friends. Heck we even had a homeschool PE that a bunch of the parents and put on every week.

Now (6 years after I graduated from highschool as a homeschooler) there are 2 Homeschool schools... It feels odd to say it, but basically they teach specific subjects so if a parent doesn't feel great about teaching their child a particular subject they can sign up for one of the classes. Beginning of highschool there was 1 of these and I took a speech and debate class as well as a history class. After that I just dual enrolled at the local college.

It isn't for everyone. I do find it to be well worth it for those parents who are willing and able to dedicate their time to it.

My experience is also that those who start homeschool generally love homeschooling and hate public school, those who start public school like public school and hate homeschooling. Those are generalizations mind you.

I have heard that as a whole homeschoolers do significantly better score wise on standardized tests than public school students do.


Oh and to the one person who commented about a mom giving up a career and hating it, I suppose it depends on the person. My parents both believe that raising kids with a full time Mom (best and worst career in the world 24/7, no pay and some of the best rewards) was the only way to do it. Thus homeschooling wasn't that big of a deal to them. My dad was also a structural engineer so that helped me with the math side of things.

Still though I learned how to learn for myself because of it. Are there things that I missed by not going to public school? Sure, but I don't regret it at all and I would not change anything about growing up as a Homeschooler.