Forgeting the Past?

[UIS4821]

Hey all,

I have a question and if I'm ever going to find the answer it would be here. Lately, I have been getting alot thoughts about past failures. Nothing traumatic but certainly stuff I would like to forget. As you can imagine these thoughts don't do much for the ego. I used to be able to shrug this stuff off but as I get older the failures are piling on. Now, I know that these thoughts will always be with me. My question is how do you handle it?

What are some of the better ways to stay in the present? Any input would be great!

[Salivanth]

I remember when I was young, remembering childhood embarrassments and thinking 'I am NEVER gonna forget this' but I did. Now I have a better solution for my more mature embarrassments: it just doesn't bother me.

As for staying in the present, next time you mentally cringe at something you said, or did, ask yourself: Does this make any difference whatsoever to the present? If the answer is no, then you can let go. If the answer is yes, fix it. And if you can't fix it, then try to forgive.

[pauldickinson]

I agree with Salivanth, I used to cringe a lot thinking about things, and I even still do, but I started replacing the memories with things I have achieved and succeeded at. Once you build momentum, you don't think about the failures as much.

BUT, saying that, every failure you think of shows you one lesson that you'll never forget, which however cringetastic it is, is still something you've learned.

[One Armed man]

Now, I know that these thoughts will always be with me.

This is actually a very wise comment and one that your understanding, I feel, will ultimately help you. You won't be able to control your thoughts and I also think they may always be with you. I suffer from a similar challenge and I feel they will be with me too. What I have learned is that it's not the thought, but how we internally respond to them. Think of your thoughts as being powerless, stupid, and an annoyance most of the time. Kind of like "oh their's that stupid thought again, man I wish that dude would go away but he probably won't. Crap". This is called acceptance. From my experience thoughts are rarely your friend but most of the time they will attack your ego. They will second guess you all the time, try to make you feel bad, they basically suck. So what. They are just stupid thoughts and nothing more. And guess what, they pass. Think all the times during they day that things are okay. It may be more than you realize. Here's my analogy. Your thoughts are like a pitcher on a mound trying to strike you out. You can either side with your pitcher and let him get you, or be your batter, on the plate trying to hit it out of the park.
Hit that f****n ball out of the park.

[Christina1965]

I can sometimes start thinking about mistakes, like why did I said that- I should have guessed that it hurt, and so on, but like a year ago I wanted to stop this thinking and asked myself - why am I feeling so bad? And the answer is always- because I care about the other person. And I always feel at least a bit better, sometimes much better then, because the first feeling is -I'm bad, hurting people, and the second one is- I'm good, I care about people (although I make mistakes sometime).
I guess that if it's more of a performance mistake, you can concentrate more on the feeling behind that, which could be - I want to make a contribution.

[simplystephen]

Whatever has happened in the past is just that - yesterday. The only moment that you can do something about is the present. The future is even out of your control. What transpires is a series of events that you choose to put into play.

Look back at your failures as a lesson to how you would do things differently now and act with integrity. Then you know that your mistakes are done. A failure is only a stepping stone to a future success.

So, get up every morning and embrace the day. It is your choice how the outcome unfolds. To do this is a challenge, but nothing comes easily without practice...so it is time for you to practice and cease the day.

[Cryptic]

I have had the same issues in the past,

but in the time I have learnt easily to 'ignore' those failures,
I dont seem to care about them any more, after a failure I make a quick analize what went wrong and basically learn not to make that mistake again, later the incident itself will be forgotten pretty much

might take a while before you can actually get to the point where you can just 'not give a damn' about things like that overall, saves a lot of effort

thinking of the past and crying about it just wastes your energy on something you cant change. its wiser to move on - or it will hurt you even more.

dont let that build up inside of you

[SimonaRich]

Why do you say that you know that such thoughts would always be with you? Why would you choose to keep them? If you keep pondering on such thoughts bad things will keep manifesting into your life.

I suggest you shift your focus from your past to the things that you appreciate in the present, and you will see that your life will start improving as a result.

[Cleo]

Originally Posted by UIS4821

Hey all,

I have a question and if I'm ever going to find the answer it would be here. Lately, I have been getting alot thoughts about past failures. Nothing traumatic but certainly stuff I would like to forget. As you can imagine these thoughts don't do much for the ego. I used to be able to shrug this stuff off but as I get older the failures are piling on. Now, I know that these thoughts will always be with me. My question is how do you handle it?

What are some of the better ways to stay in the present? Any input would be great!

Hi i found this great article at the Essence Of Life site about living in the NOW. Where Do We Go When We Leave The Now? - Heart Wisdom - Essence of Life
hope you enjoy!

Love Cleo

[beatnix]

If you are open to EFT, there is a process which will neutralize the effect of bad memories:

The Personal Peace Procedure

I have recently started to apply it and it already makes a difference in my life.

[Vinny]

change your eviroment..something is triggering you thought processes..
thats what i did..it helped tremedously

[timothydrake]

You should never ever forget your past. It is the events from the past that make you who you are today. The past are your achievements and your proof that life, no matter what it threw at you, that you are stronger today than yesterday because you are still standing.

[Zerox]

I used to want to forget the past until one day it struck me WHY we remember the bad things.

My philosophy goes;

We remember all the bad things so we will never do them again.
But we forget our happy memories so we can enjoy them once more.

All humans have bad memories, thing is not to let them get to you, its the past. You cant change it and it has nothing to do with today or tomorrow.

Living in the past breeds depression and angst, living in the future (planning everything all the time etc) leads to anger and disappointment because nothing ever goes exactly as planned. And you forget to take advantage of today.

Living in today and following your gut is the only way to bring happiness to me. Just stop caring about tomorrow. Stop worrying.

Whenever I've been depressed its because I think of how bad things are and have been. But if I stop caring about it, stop worrying. Everything is fine. Even if I only get to eat once a day, everything is fine. Because I don't worry anymore. If you worry about your problems they will seem twice as bad. So start going on instinct. Feel like doing something? do it! no questions asked. You'll be so much happier.

[EastcoastMan]

Forgetting your failures of the past is hard for anyone to do because your mind will always creep back to when something didn't work out the way you planed or wanted it too.

The thing I think to do is to use the times you failed as a lesson learned and try to avoid making the same mistakes that caused you to fail. I would also put more focus on the times when you succeeded in areas of your life to at least get a more positive outlook on your situation.

I know for myself that when I think about the past of things that didn't go right or I failed at something it does me no good because I can't change it anyway. It just takes me back to that time with those feelings of failure that really server no purpose to me. I stay focused on what is good in my life and what is good about what I'm doing.