How do I "take control" of my life again?

[crazlunatic]

Hi. First of all I want to thank everyone here, the last time I messed up you guys made me realize what was important and I managed to get on track with life for a short while. Unfortunately I slipped again and I'm oblivious as to how to "take control" again. I'm a high-school student that needs to graduate this year.

My main problem is that I am afraid of failure. I start work and realizing that it might not be perfect, I stop and think about what I should do about it. For some reason this fear translates into wasting time online and I never get anything done. I have to deliver a speech tomorrow and I started since 9. It's 1:40 now and I only have the first paragraph done o.O

I feel like my life is taking control of me. I reserve large amounts of time for "work" but when it's time for work, I don't get much of it done. Right now I feel like work is controlling me. I've taken time away from friends and play, and I've weakened and lost a few relationships in the process. Very depressing. How can I take control again. I have 5 weeks of school left and tons of work to do before graduating. I've got about 250+ hours (or 38 units) worth of homework left which is the equivalent of what should have taken me 13 weeks to do if I paced out my work evenly =O. I've finished 22 in two weeks before but that was last year. Anyway hope you guys can help me out.

[ken nubo]

Sometimes life can be overwhelming (no duh) but take it 1 step at a time. For example, did you know that most people want to publish a novel during their life time? It’s one of those goals, like traveling all over the world.

Well — here’s a practical tip. If you want to write a novel, just write 1 page per day. You’ll have yourself a novel by the end of the year! (Simple, huh?)

[SimonaRich]

The more you focus on failure, the more failures you will experience. Start focusing on success, even if there is something very little that you have done well. The more you focus on success, the more success you will invite into your life.

[RJlogs]

You could easily write those lines about me. My childhood's perfectionism has paralized me a lot before.

What made the difference for me was that I told myself, f***, I don't have to do it, I'm free to choose not doing it and dealing with the consequences, probably living a very boring life with no accomplishments and probably a lot of stress. Like the majority of people.

Once I realized that, I knew I'd rather do things I want than living a miserable life. And after I did it for a few times, it became easier and easier. Now, it's just awesome, whenever I want to procrastinate, this new feeling of satisfaction and happiness kicks in that I know I'll be feeling if I follow through instead of procrastinating. So now it's easier to do things than delay them, because I know that good thing will come right after. It's absolutely conditioned. And every time I take action it strengthens it.

So the best you can do is just start it. Use your little self-discipline or motivation and do it a few times out of willpower, then it's gonna be piece of cake once it starts rolling.

[RT Wolf]

Fail.

I'm not kidding. Set out to fail. This space intentionally left crappy | Mind-Manual

Cure you of your fear of failure. If you don't manage to fail, you fail at failing.

Also, perhaps your problem is that you have set too much time for work. For a week or two, give yourself the bare minimum of time. You're not gonna get more done in more time anyway, so test it out for another week.

[simplystephen]

Hey Wolf,

It's not unusual to feel a little down and unfocused. In fact most people have varying levels of confidence throughout their lives. It took Thomas Edison 10,000 attempts to get the lightbulb working. He failed 9999 times before he got it right. That is what makes the difference between those that make it and those that don't.

I have found that the more you analyze and review, the less time you have to correct and concentrate on the actions you need to become successful. It sounds like you need to simply learn how to focus on the goals you have in mind and become more productive while you are doing it.

Mark Joyner has a simple course and it is free...called Simpleology, a daily guide to walk you through the steps to focus and achieve what you want in life. I highly recommend taking the time to look at it. It only takes about 15 minutes a day and if implemented you will notice vast changes in your outlook and results. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, so to get from A to B you have to start walking in a straight line and focus on the one thing you want, you can then work on the next thing.

Go for it. You have the ability. Life has a way of working itself out. Act now while you are young and you will have an incredible journey.

[Cryptic]

step first is to confess your problem

step 2 is taking action

its your own choice whether you want to success or fail in life, think about it, which one are you really after

[harry35]

No one is perfect, and no one has to be.

[kedzer]

Originally Posted by RJlogs

I told myself, f***, I don't have to do it, I'm free to choose not doing it and dealing with the consequences

Yes!

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Fail. I'm not kidding. Set out to fail.

Yes again! I really agree that you've got to get to that place where you truly feel 100% free to craft your own life on your own terms. You may or may not be ready to explore those feelings yet, and that's ok. But when you're ready, allowing yourself to fail is definitely a good, cathartic way to experience that (albeit a bit scary at first).

I remember someone on these forums going through a tough time at school and being incredibly shocked when he finally refused to go one morning and discovered that his parents couldn't make him! I think he missed a week or something and then eventually got professional help & everything worked out just fine. But the point was he discovered that he had power that no one could take from him, not even his parents and teachers. (Isn't that funny? The power to do nothing!)

[mrsmith]

Originally Posted by crazlunatic

Hi. First of all I want to thank everyone here, the last time I messed up you guys made me realize what was important and I managed to get on track with life for a short while. Unfortunately I slipped again and I'm oblivious as to how to "take control" again. I'm a high-school student that needs to graduate this year.

My main problem is that I am afraid of failure. I start work and realizing that it might not be perfect, I stop and think about what I should do about it. For some reason this fear translates into wasting time online and I never get anything done. I have to deliver a speech tomorrow and I started since 9. It's 1:40 now and I only have the first paragraph done o.O

I feel like my life is taking control of me. I reserve large amounts of time for "work" but when it's time for work, I don't get much of it done. Right now I feel like work is controlling me. I've taken time away from friends and play, and I've weakened and lost a few relationships in the process. Very depressing. How can I take control again. I have 5 weeks of school left and tons of work to do before graduating. I've got about 250+ hours (or 38 units) worth of homework left which is the equivalent of what should have taken me 13 weeks to do if I paced out my work evenly =O. I've finished 22 in two weeks before but that was last year. Anyway hope you guys can help me out.

You have to have a positive high level outlook on things. 3 or 4 weeks from now how will the speech impact you. In all likelihood the impact will be minimal.

Don't dwell on the negative or it comes true.

[dreamtime07]

Well, it is all up to you.

Failure is only in your mind. Have failure already happened even before you even start work? How did you know that it would be a failure? You are not even a fortune teller or something like that.

Ask yourself this question. Is it really true? or it is just a manifestation of my mind because (you will be the one to fill this blank).

Also, ask yourself this question. Why do I need to be perfect? Is it really necessary? Is it important? Did something happen in my life before that told me that I should be perfect?

Ask yourself this question too, Is it true that life is taking over me or it is just my assumption because I'm not doing my 100%.

or is the problem really that you are not doing 100% and not that life is taking control of you?

Is it life taking control of you that is why you are not doing 100%? or you are not doing 100% that's why you assume that life is taking control of you?

Take a time to think deeply of these questions and answer them honestly. Hope this will help.

Have a great day!