Improving but not going anywhere???

[gretzkyjunior]

I have quite a weird thing going on.... I can't really phrase it without letting you know my background a bit first:

Ok, so in January, I was tired with who I was. I have a dream to be a pro athlete, and become the best person I can be, and I was doing nothing to make that a reality. I'd come home from school, sit here on my laptop for hours, not do my homework, watch tv, and go to bed (other than days that I had a hockey practice or game).

So I stumbled across this website, and obviously, was motivated to become a more disciplined/productive person. So I started working out, doing my homework, and I felt great. Eventually, I slipped, and fell into a rut, and went back to my normal self for a while.

In march, I decided to try again. I've had the discipline to do everything I planned, like become an early riser, workout intensely for upcoming hockey tryouts, and I'm just starting to catch up in my school work again.

But I'm somehow in the same place mentally. I have a messy ass room, I'm horribly disorganized, only now I have these productive things added on top of that It feels like I'm going through the motions even though I'm doing a lot. All these things I'm doing feel like they are only being done because they are programmed into me, like a computer.

In other words, I've been advancing in productivity in the external world, but I'm still the unmotivated disorganized person inside.

I've been trying to raise my consciousness by striving for my dreams, but i'm kind of going forward in reverse...

Is it because I'm trying to change my external world when I should be working on my internal self or what?
Any tips?

Thanks!

[JohnDaniels]

Seems like you are making progress but not acknowledging it very much.

If you have changed some habits in a positive way then you have obviously changed some thinking processes as well. Its just that you have some internal discomfort still.

I think acceptance of where you are at is a good starting point. You have made some progress....of course you aren't perfect but you are at where you are at and as you accept and love yourself more, you will lower the resistance towards further growth.

Theres always stuff to work on

[bbdream8]

Hi gretzkyjunior,

When you are taking action, you are definitely moving forward no matter how big or little. However it is recommended that you complete important tasks that will really provide huge results instead of doing tasks that provide little or no value to you.

You should try applying the 80/20 principle into your life and see how it can help you to get more things done using lesser effort.

I have written an article on this topic and you may want to read it for more info.
Are You Using The 80/20 Principle In Your Life? | Health Money Success

Hope it helps.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

[SimonaRich]

Yes, you answered your own question. Firstly you need to change inside to have a permanent change outside. You can try using positive affirmations, meditation and visualisations.

[rose A]

Hey Gretzyjunior.

You're one intuitive guy! Even though you have made some strides in self improvement, your not feeling the gains because of your inner turmoil. I have been going through the same mess. And I use the word mess for a reason. There are aspects of life that I have improved on but I also feel the let down or the holding back of total , no complete acceptance, because my personal surroundings are not all in order. And it jumbles your insides.

We have been working on our kitchen now for going on close to two years. We have been without a kitchen sink for over a year. We have a make shift counter top that we are using and I just recently painted and screwed the cupboards to the walls. So everything in my kitchen is all over the place. MY basement is loaded with the new stuff that will be going in and with stuff that used to be in my cupboards. Everything is a mess and jumbled all over the place. So preparing meals is chaotic and exhausting.

So I am comparing this to your room.

Now go clean up your roomNah only kidding.

But try it.

First go through your stuff and throw out anything you haven't used in, say, the last six months. Then sort through stuff. Find a place for everything. (this is what I need to do)

I used to hang around with this guy who was an expert at organizing. Oh he was so good.

Be strict with yourself and delegate one day. Just one. Say a Saturday,if your not playing hockey, or a Sunday. Start on it early in the morning and just keep going.

Good luck. (I mean that seriously) and see if that doesn't make you feel better.

[RT Wolf]

Yea, you've got it about right. You've to make the internal shifts necessary to get your goal.

Here's somin you might wanna make a poster of and put on your wall: To achieve a goal, you have to become the kind of person who achieves that goal. To be more productive, you have to become a me productive person.

You haven't made that identity shift, you even said that you went back to your "normal" self. Why is the low-energy, low-motivation person your "normal" self? Why not make your high-energy, high productivity self your normal/real self?

Try again. You may also not be really in touch with your deepest values. Try that out, too. IE, you may be doing it because it seems like a good idea or cause Steve thinks it's a good idea, but you deep down don't really WANT it. However, discipline first, then you can weave your authentic self into it.

[gretzkyjunior]

First off, thanks everyone

John, I definitely am a bit hard on myself now that I think about it lol

bbdream8, I checked out the 80/20 principle, very interesting indeed.

RTwolf, I definitely know I want to achieve this dream, because when I'm not making any progress towards it, I feel completely useless. And I think I will try to make the high energy me my "normal" self

I can definitely relate to what you said too Rose A, maybe the lack of organization is what is making me unmotivated inside. I have never in my life been an organized person, and at 16, it will probably be a task to get that going. I think thats what I gotta do though. I can't have a clear mind with all this extra I don't need in my life, I mean, I can barely fit my backpack in my locker at school anymore. It definitely is holding me back.

I think I'll give this organization thing a try

I just have to bring it into action with a positive attitude like I've done with everything else so far. Thanks everyone.

[rose A]

Hey Gretzyjunior,

Even if you know someone who is one of those organized people. Don't be afraid to ask them for help. They just see things in an organizing way and will probably be more then happy to help you out.

They will find a space just for all your hockey gear, a place that only your books for school will go. stuff for the computer go here, music goes there, trash is trash. They are truely , in my eyes, amazing.

You can do it. I know you can.

[ken nubo]

Take it easy -- try to implement on habit at a time. For example, you could try working out the first thing in the morning.

Then take 30 minutes every Friday to declutter your room.

Have a routine -- that's the "secret".

[loic]

You know, If I read well, you have been working on yourself for 3 month. You know what, kudos for that. Some people don't even spend one day in their life trying to improve themselves. You are already above 95% of the pack.

It took me almost two years to "change course" and set my life back on the track I wanted. Don't be so impatient.

You have to discover what works FOR YOU. This can take a while. People talk about setting a routine? I hate routines, doesn't work for me.

Just try stuff, read, learn, eventually you'll find a way that works FOR YOU. Little by little.

And you know, progress is not linear. You'll hit a plateau, for a few month, and then suddenly, something unlocks in your head, and you improve in one area or the other.

The key is to have fun in the process.

Keep going

[gretzkyjunior]

Thanks Rose A, ken and loic.

I'm going to use whatever resources I can to get myself going.

Lol Loic, I'm kind of the opposite. I like to have a plan/routine for everything, but I find difficulty living that way as well.

I have nothing going on this weekend, so I'll start getting organized then!