30 Day Challenge - Gentleman

[Franciz]

I have to bring up this challenge again because first of all I didn't finish this challenge. Secondly, I'm still disgusted by my behaviour from Saturday.

I'm going to work on the same list from my last gentleman challenge.

Levels of difficulty:
* No swearing (1/10)
* No perverted jokes or language (9/10)
* Extra respect to girls (4/10)
* Be humble not arrogant - No putting people down (2/10)
* No making fun of girls (5/10)
* Be generous (1/10)

The thing I really have an issue on is my pervertedness (Not sure if that's a word or not). My switch on this thing is on 24/7. They're funny alright but I don't want to be known as the "dirty guy." I want to be known as the "gentleman guy" with a slight pinch of a bad boy in him. My goal is to reduce the level of my pervertedness to level 2-3. I don't really have any major issues on other things such as swearing, being generous, and etc... However, there are still lots of rooms for improvement in those areas.

This is how I'm going to do it.

For the first 2 weeks, I will work on being conscious and fighting my "spontaneous perverted attacks" (I'm trying to compare it to a heart attack here).

For the last 2 weeks, I will work on the other things while fighting the spontaneous perverted attacks.

What do I want to get out of this challenge?
The way I see myself in my mind is that I'm a pretty gallant person but my behaviour is not reflecting that at the moment. I want to be the guy that my head is showing me. Also, I just turned 21 too so I'm retiring from that old immature self.

Benefits of this behaviour:
- I'll be able to test/practice/show how flexible I am at conversing with others
- Reduce the guilty feeling that I have
- Treat women with more respect

Start April 20, 2009 - End May 18, 2009

-Franciz

[Zas]

Best of luck.

[mysticmadness]

good luck. keep us updated.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Franciz

Levels of difficulty:
* No swearing (1/10)
* No perverted jokes or language (9/10)
* Extra respect to girls (4/10)
* Be humble not arrogant - No putting people down (2/10)
* No making fun of girls (5/10)
* Be generous (1/10)

1. Reducing your swearing is a good goal to pursue, because it will strengthen your language and make you more aware of more descriptive language to use in times when you would swear. GOOD

2. What you call "perversion" I would probably call "embracing your sexuality." Perverted jokes and language is fine (even in front of girls). Just know that there is a time and place for it (which should be your focus, not warding it off forever). NEEDS REFINING

3. Don't put "girls" on a pedastal. If you want to be more respectful, be more respectful to both men and women. NEEDS REFINING

4. Be humble, not arrogant? What the heck does this even mean? What I mean by that is, of what use is this in a goal-oriented challenge? How exactly can you measure this...or even define it for that matter. TOSS THIS ONE OUT ENTIRELY

5. Playful teasing is among one of the most effective tools in a man's "arsenal" for attracting girls. TOSS THIS ONE OUT ENTIRELY

6. Another competely vague goal. How do you measure "generosity"? A better goal would be to say "Give X amount of dollars to charity" or "volunteer once a week" or something like that. Give your goals FOCUS or you'll never meet them. NEEDS REFINING.

As you can see, I think the reason this didn't stick the last time you did it was because this is an extremely unfocused challenge. You need specific actions that are measurable, and actions that will further yourself as a person, not fall in line with some lofty idea that society tries to bestow upon you.

[Franciz]

April 20, 2009

Thanks a lot guys for the support. I really appreciate it.

To James81:
Thanks a lot for the information and I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

I sweared once today. I'm actually surprised because I rarely, rarely swear.
I'm so proud myself I managed to control myself from indulging in discussing nasty things today. I did however talked about perverted stuff but not to the extent that it makes you want to vomit which I'm prone to doing.
My buddies treated this waitress disrespectfully because of a minor misunderstanding. I am glad that I didn't get myself involved in that. I apologized to her about my friends' behaviour and wished her a wonderful day.

For the next time, I'll try to refine my goals for this challenge. Thanks James81!

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 21, 2009

Man, I did a pretty excellent job today. I was pretty clean and gallant except for one minor behaviour. This might sound disturbing so prepare yourselves. Farting on your dogs face is pretty ungentleman-like and it's disgusting. lol. I have no explanation of why I did it but I'll stop doing that from now on. Pz!

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 22, 2009

I picked up my friend from University today. It was a pretty hardcore day. I pretty much went overboard with my nasty jokes. I think I cracked up 10-15 of them. They were sooooooo funny but anyways, I failed today. Other than that, I managed to do the other things on my list.

-Franciz

[Black Spring]

This is really funny.

[Franciz]

This one is for April 23, 2009

To Black Spring: Thanks man.

Man, I'm such a d*ck. I was so cocky when I was talkin to this girl that I was turned off. I did pretty okay with the other stuff though. I lowered the level the level of my dirty jokes to pg-13. I think I only drop like 5 of them dirty jokes. My jokes today, I think, were more retarted than dirty.

Anyways, to be more specific with the perverted jokes, I'll only aim to have a maximum of 5 maximum jokes perday. This one is more attainable for my current situation compared to just not telling any dirty jokes. I hope this helps improve my control of my "spontaneous perverted attacks" and my timing.

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 24, 2009

I swore today. I just got back home from work and there was dog ♥♥♥♥♥ in my laundry room. There you go, I said it again. It was really disgusting. Other than that, I was pretty clean mayne.

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 25, 2009

I was on fire on being a gentleman the whole day until I worked out with my buddies. We went ballistic with the hypothetical gay scenario jokes and questions. Still though, I managed to keep that on the low so probably I threw in maybe 4-5 gay jokes that are really sick. Man, it was so funny and wrong at the same time. Anyways, today was awesome day. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 26, 2009

I was a gentleman today. My day was so awesome! I danced for six hours! But man, I need to get better so badly because my performance was horrible. I couldn't get the choreography and stuff. I still got lots of work to do. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 27, 2009

I pretty much avoided doing the things that I didn't want to do except for one. I didn't even noticed that I was cursing under breath after a set when I was working out earlier. Good thing I noticed it becaused I wouldn't have been aware of it otherwise. Next time, I'll try to be more conscious about my actions because I might be doing ungentleman stuff to other things that I might not be aware of. Anyways, today was a good day!

-Franciz

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by James81

5. Playful teasing is among one of the most effective tools in a man's "arsenal" for attracting girls. TOSS THIS ONE OUT ENTIRELY

Yup, I agree. You may be throwing out an important tool here, Franciz. I don't think teasing isn't necessarily disrespectful at all, as long as you know how to choose your moments.

[Franciz]

For April 28, 2009

To Eric: Hey, you know what, its actually really hard not to tease girls because I pretty much do it everytime even though I try to not to. I'll actually be more specific with this one, the problem that I'm reffering to is insult not tease. Jeez! Typing about this right now reminds me why I started my first gentleman challenge. I was goofing around and I threw a joke about this girl's hair and dandruff (It looked like dandruff to me, that's why I said the joke) as she entered this restaurant. Everyone laughed and I laughed hysterically. I was basically ROFLMAOLOLBTWAFK (whatever that means). Her faced was flushed red and she walked away and I felt bed when I got home when I started thinking about my day. I feel bad for her, I let my insecurities and carelessness damaged another person's well being. Anyways, I forgot my point.

What I accomplished:
I was a good gentleman today. I gave a lot of value to people: I asked them how their day was and I smiled a lot. My behaviour was gallant but later on when I hanged with my friend it became childish. I reverted back to my old way of talking, however, I never discussed anything negative. Anyways, I'm going out with my friends tonight (April 29, 2009). I haven't seen these guys in a while and I wished to surprised them with the new me because they know me as the goofy, wild, loud *beep* I want to show them a more mature side of me, some one who can handle talking about big topics and not someone whos only limited to talking about d*cks. LOL. Anyways, I'll post my results later on. P'z

-Franciz

[pterodactyl]

Franciz, I really applaud your efforts with this trial, particularly since you're so clear and honest about what you want and what the results are, and I wish more young men would do the same. I'm one of the sensitive women out there who really dislike being teased; I'm already well aware of all my faults and don't need some jackass pointing them out to me, expecting I'll fall in his lap because of it. There is a very fine line between gently poking fun and insulting someone and very few people know where that line is. I don't think it's attractive, funny or interesting to be 'cocky' in an effort to get girls. It might make you feel better about yourself, but it leaves the bad impression that you're just another jerk and not really worth knowing. Particularly your last story about teasing a woman whom you insinuated had dandruff-- how sad that you may have utterly devastated a woman who might have otherwise been interested in you under different circumstances! Imagine what could have happened instead if you had smiled at her and said something kind.

Being a gentleman sets you apart from the rest, and unlike the fleeting interest some women might give to "cocky/funny" behavior, it paves the way for genuine respect. Opening doors for people, smiling, being courteous and gracious, not swearing, refraining from insulting/teasing (developing genuine wit is a different and much better skill to have!) and generally demonstrating that you are well-mannered, generous and have a lot of value will all be noticed and appreciated.

Keep up the good work!

[Franciz]

April 29, 2009

To Pterodactyl: Thanks a lot for the support. I really appreciate it.

Well, I didn't go out with my friends tonight because I'll be out pretty late and I'm doing an early riser challenge. I value my early riser challenge more than proving my gentleman-ness (not sure if that's a word) to a bunch of dudes (and some girls). LOL! Anyways, heres the break down of my day. I gave a lot of value to people today by being interested about how their day was going and complimenting them about things that I found interesting about them (not fake compliments -> I kinda mentioned about fake compliments in my no complaining thread part 2). I was playful and having fun as usual. I think I sweared today but I'm not 100% positive on that. My highlight today was *bleep*. I'll just leave it at this "cute mom" since I'm a gentleman. LOL. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

April 30, 2009

I was so cocky to my mama today. I owe her an apology! Oh yeah, I was also kind of harsh to one of my responses to my sister. I could have said it a nicer manner. The rest of the objectives I did prett well. My language was pretty clean today. I gotta remove that smart ass smirk of mine too. Seriously, theres so much work for me to do to become a gentleman. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

May 1, 2009

I was a gentleman today.
No:
-swearing
-dirty jokes
-I was polite to people earlier (I had several older people comment about my politeness which felt really good)

On another note, I just borrowed the book titled "the modern gentleman." I also have second book and its called "the modern lover," I believe. I heard good reviews about this book so I'll check it and see if I like it. I might even base my gentleman challenge off this book later on if I like the information. Anyways, that's all for today folks. P'z

-Franciz

[Cryptic]

well done for trying to make yourself a better person, hope you dont fail trying.

some points you were trying to attempt are clearly showing the lower value of you in front of the opposite sex, but if you wish to be like that, go ahead

[Franciz]

May 2, 2009

To Cryptic: Thanks a lot for the support.

I was disrespectful towards my mom today. I won't bother explaining what I did in detail but I apologized to her afterwards. Man, I'm bothered by other stuff aswell. I need to learn how to control my state better. Darn! Anyways, I managed to do the other things on the list of my task. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

May 3, 2009

I had a devasting evening.

Its so hard to type write now because theres too many things going on through my head. I'll just focus on the positive stuff.

This terrible situation brought to light some of my bad behaviours and attitudes. I need to improve on being more honest about my feelings. I'm letting go of this belief that guys should never tell someone how they feel because this is just stupid.

Was I a gentleman today?
For the most part, yes. I have cursed several times tonight. I felt the urge to retaliate by sarging a lot of women, but only little boys do that. Its too immature and childish to do something like that. What good would that bring to me? However enough of that, my goal is to be a gentleman and I'll make sure I become one by the end of this challenge. This event will just serve as a reminder that I still have lots of things to improve on. Imma write this on my wall so I don't forget it(so eff' you my immature self!).
P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

May 4, 2009

Man, I did something stupid today. Imma write my report tomorrow when I'm more cool down.

Basically, I broke all the things that I wasn't suppose to do except for the perverted jokes.

Another horrible day.. GYAH! P'z

-Franciz

[Ekb]

oh what did you doooo??

[Franciz]

May 4, 2009 continuation...

I did something really creepy. Its probably one of my highlights this year and I've done a lot of creepy stuff. I'm not even sure if that is something that I should be proud of. Actually, now, since I'm more cool about it I find it soo funny. I won't bother saying what I did (Ekb) because I don't feel like sharing it.

Here's the breakdown of what ungentleman behaviours I did.
- I decided to game the girl again. Basically, I went overboard with being cocky and funny. It was more like ******* and insulting.
- I disclosed some of the previous girls that I've gamed to the girl's best friend. Looking back, this is so low. One of the lowest points of my life. I did it to protect my ego from what was about to come.
- I violated my motto. I was forcefully taking value, not giving value.
- Truthfully, I'm unsure about my intention with this girl. I think I'm just gaming her for the sake of gaming her.
- I was an *******. I don't know how else to describe this.

Now for the good stuff. What I've learned:
- I feel deeply sorry for the girl and especially towards myself. I should have practiced more self control. This is not the first time I've done something crazy/creepy as this. I didn't stop for a second and really thought about what kind of actions I should do. If I thought a move would score me points or looks cool, I'd do it. In last night's case, the action that I did was really risky. You can look at it as really romantic and ballsy, or just straight-up stalker creepy. Unlucky for me, it ended up being stalker creepy. I need to stop engaging in reckless actions and just be patient and stop and think for a minute. Why should I do this? What good does it bring to others? What good does it bring to me. Does this violate my values and principles? If it does, is it worth it to throw away my principles over this thing?
- I don't really like considering myself selfish but this situation proves to show how much of a selfish person I am. Going back before this challenge, when I was still in good terms with this girl I was quick to escalate. I knew she was conservative, but I neglected her values and principles because I had a way to get around it. I thought just because I've escalated kino with a lot of girls before that this should work with her as well. Well, it did work, but at the same time I felt divided inside. One side of me is telling me, "yep, im on stage three time to move on to stage four." The other side was telling me, "hold on man, lets respect her." Now, I'm actually confuse about what it means to respect someone. I gotta ponder more about this. [For the readers: what does respect mean to you? How do you show that you respect someone?]
- I got one serious one-itis. I have to move on now. I don't really want to focus on this too much anymore or I might end up depress. This experience will serve as a bookmark in one of the pages of my life. A reminder that I need to grow up.

This is the last time I'll be discussing this so if you see me write anything about it feel free to bash me as a reminder.

Man, this is so emo. LOL.

Moving on now, I plan to reduce my task about this gentleman challenge. For now, I'll just focus on being witty and reducing my dirty jokes. I'll give this task a try for one week, if I can hold myself up to the challenge then I'm going to add another task. I'm not sure about what that is yet but I'll think about it when I'm done with this. Part of my assignments for this task is to finish the 3 books about being a gentleman. I'm also going to use a structure format now for this challenge because frankly my report is disorganized. I'll keep it simple for now.

For the gentleman challenge, the structure would look like this:

Date:

Assignment:

Reading - (Book Title)
Pages:

Comments:

I'll be focusing on learning for now. Besides, this is only goal/task that I see that is measurable. Anyways, I'm done. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

Date: May 5, 2009

Assignment:

Reading - The Modern Gentleman

Pages: 20 pages

Comments: Didn't get a chance to read a lot today. I'm just skipping pages right now and reading sections that I find interesting. I'll read the book more thoroughly later.

-Franciz

[Franciz]

Date: May 6, 2009

Assignment:

Reading - The Modern Gentleman

Pages: 21 pages

Comments: I'm just skipping pages again. Frankly, I'm just reading the part on how to deal with women (the gentleman way ofcourse).

I'll write my results for May 7, 2009 tomorrow since I'll be doing my reading later.

-Franciz

[Franciz]

Date: May 7, 2009

Assignment:

Reading - The Modern Gentleman/Lover

Pages: 15 pages

Comments: I'm busy with other things at the moment and with Mother's day coming up on Sunday I'll be even busier. For tomorrow, I might not have enough time to read because I have work and I have to write a dozen or more (prolly two dozen) Mother's Day letters. I want to do something crazy so I think writing a Mother's day letter to moms's that I know of would be awesome. This would be my first gentleman challenge project and I think its a good way to advertise my new self. Anyways, thats it. P'z

-Franciz

[Franciz]

Date: May 8-9, 2009

Assignment:

Reading - The Modern Gentleman

Pages: 3 pages

Comments: I was out with friends. Daym!

May 10, 2009

Mother's Day Project:
I only ended up sending 5 cards while my mom did 60! I called and texted 6 people to greet them Happy Mother's Day. And, I was aiming to send 30 cards but I'm still glad that I was able to make to those that I've greeted happy. The cards that I sent were a "killer" because I really took my time to writing each one of them. My letters look like an essay. Anyways, my next project would be to give TONS of cards on Father's Day! I'll definitely be better prepared for this one.

-Franciz

[Franciz]

May 11, 2009

Assignment:

Reading - None

Comments: My hands were full today so I didn't have an opportunity to read. I'm going to be working tomorrow from 6:45 am to 8 pm. Hopefully, I'll be able to read during my breaks. P'z

-Franciz