when i try to improve my life...

[Lupe]

...i always fail.

it's like there's this part of me that just wants myself to fail. "this is u. u r supposed to be mediocre. u r supposed to to be a failure. u try to eat healthy? take this! snickers
and that! fritos
n then when i think of how bad this is n how unacceptable this kind of behavior it is, the 'evil me' delivers the final blow

take another snickers!
and another one for good measure.

so i don't actually have any substantial craving for these junk; there's this part of me that hates seeing myself being good and wants me to do bad.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Lupe

...i always fail.

it's like there's this part of me that just wants myself to fail. "this is u. u r supposed to be mediocre. u r supposed to to be a failure. u try to eat healthy? take this! snickers
and that! fritos
n then when i think of how bad this is n how unacceptable this kind of behavior it is, the 'evil me' delivers the final blow

take another snickers!
and another one for good measure.

so i don't actually have any substantial craving for these junk; there's this part of me that hates seeing myself being good and wants me to do bad.

You should stop buying that sort of food!

[Lupe]

yes i know. vending machine.

[Eric Roosevelt]

Lupe, let me ask you a very simple question. Do you want to eat junk food?

[Manomanman]

You need to digest the content of Stevepavlina.com a little more. It sounds like you haven't put forth the RIGHT effort, rather, you're putting a lot of effort into beating yourself up.

[sirkinm]

I'm surprised to hear you say that you're having this struggle, because your signature says that 100% raw is the best way to go. Is it that you're setting your sights very high and then falling way down. Intuitively, I would think that people who successfully go raw are those who are already kinda close (i.e., they probably never eat Snickers, even though it satisfies ).


From your posts, it sounds as if you're caught up and in need of perspective. You want to get up super early, eat all raw, etc., etc. Unless you have a dire medical condition, you really don't need to rush things.

PErsonal development shouldn't be a constant practice in discipline, or nothing will stick. If you're relapsing to such an extent that you're eating multiple Snickers bars in a day, it seems like you might have the mentality of an anorexic -- binging and purging, with a need for perfection and a sense of self-loathing when you don't achieve it. You wake up every day and resolve to eat nothing but green smoothies, but by the end of the day you've caved and have gorged yourself on a family-sized bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos (mmm...MSG...).

Does any of this resonate with you?

[David Cain]

Very good point by sirkinm.

I had a problem with self-sabotage too. I figure I subconsciously wanted to fail because then I would be back to square one, with nothing to lose again.

Start small, but more importantly, stop saying these things:

i always fail

u r supposed to be mediocre. u r supposed to to be a failure.

Words matter, even if you just say them in your head.

Make a small commitment, such as eating raw for one meal.

Then try one day.

Then three days.

Then a week, then a month.

Once you hit these milestones, you'll know you can do another day or another hundred days, because you've done it in the past. And your lame excuses won't be able to stop you anymore.

[Dimond]

Get hooked on very healthy snacks instead.

and

Reprogram your subconscious mind (Empowered Living link below).

[sunnyjamiel]

Lupe,

Is there anything in your life that is working for you? Anything positive? Any small little achievement? All of us have that space in our lives, however small that maybe. For the starters, drop the big plans and ponder over that space in your life which makes you feel good and makes you think that you can move on to higher things.

Baby steps is the name of the game. The question is why do you wanna change your life for the better? Just to please your ego or because that is natural to you as a person? Ask this question to yourself. Many of us make even the self growth, an ego issue and are into it just to be perceived differently by others, not because it comes naturally to us.

You don't have to kick your own butt for not succeeding. Take it easy. Do it at your own pace for your own valid reasons and meantime don't put so much attention on what frustrates you but change your mental thought patterns to learn to focus on what is working in your life.

Change your energy and your reality will, in time, adapt itself to your consistent thinking patterns.

All the best from my side.