please help me

[Billiardsguy2006]

I feel like my life is messed up...I'm on light meds. Although I hold a Bachelors Degree(which I was barley able to obtain) I currently can't find a job(neither do I want one),have no motivation, have no interests, want to sleep all day, feel life is hopeless-every day I'm approaching closer to death and I watch with disgust everyone around me getting older. I can't even motivate myself to brush my teeth or take a shower or brush my hair(unless I go out)My attitude is negative. I'm riddle with obsessions. I am sometimes mean and cruel and can be aggressive. Sometimes I feel like breakin ga wall. I feel overdependent on my parents, my gf, everyone...I've read a lot on self-improvement but havne't noticed not ONE improvement-except for temporary improvements.

Can anyone help me get out of this mess? I'm really depserate...I don't know what to do. every time my life seems to improve i fall back....i'm starting CBT on monday but don't know if it will help...also, i'm diagnosed with ocd and tourettes syndrome(although my tourettes are non-existent).

[supertom]

I would try self-introspection, its something ghandi used to do, every hour he stopped and wrote down what he did, ate and thought. You'll so much about yourself.

OR you can find you life purpose How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes

even if it takes you a 100 hours its worth it

[Inthon]

I would get some fresh air and exercise. Get out of breath running or lifting some weights.

Eat a piece of fruit as slowly as possible and savor every taste that comes into your mouth.

Volunteer to help out someone in need. Show up at an assisted living facility or hospital and work just a little while each week. You'll see how lucky you are.

Write down things that you are grateful for. A beautiful girlfriend, a sound mind, free will, free libraries, the Internet, a comfy mattress.

You'll find that there is a *lot* to be grateful for, but you don't realize it because it's right in front of your nose. I wish you well.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Billiardsguy2006

.I've read a lot on self-improvement but havne't noticed not ONE improvement-except for temporary improvements.

Hi Billiardsguy,

I'm sure you know by now that reading about self-improvement is not the same as working at it, although it's a start.

As hard as it may seem, you have to take the first step and start working at it. The deeper you are in a rut, the harder it may seem, but it's the only way. Inthon and supertom have both mentioned some good ways to start. Your physical health is extremely important, as is the need to look inward. Have a look at this article that can give you some tips on how to get going. Remember, you have to take responsibility for your situation before you can work your way out of it. How to Invest In Your Personal Development

All the best to you!

[Idontwanttotellyoumyname]

Hey Billiardsguy,

I usually don't post in this forum, in fact I registered just to answer your question. I was in a very similar position to you six months ago, minus the bachelor's degree and the girlfriend!

At that time I would sleep a lot, play World of Warcraft for 8-16hours and smoke two packs of cigarettes everyday. I was so depressed, but something in me wanted to change it. I wrote a list of goals I wanted to achieve, and bought a whiteboard where I could write my schedule for the next day to further my ultimate goals. This method didn't work at all, because I was too lazy to fulfill my schedule which consisted of activities like 3pm - Gym, 4pm, language study.

I felt disappointed with myself for my behavior and my inability to succeed I got even more depressed and worthless. I then had the idea that if I couldn't meet my schedule, I would change my schedule. My goals for the first day was approximately thus

-Sleep in and miss class
-Play World of Warcraft until eyes really hurt
-Smoke two packs of cigarettes
-Don't have a shower

After about a week or so I felt really good I had met all my daily goals, and started to change them to be more challenging, and more in-line with my ultimate goals. Day 14 was a bit like:

-Arrive at class on time but unshowered and smelling bad.
-Play World of Warcraft
-Smoke a pack of cigarettes
-Go to the gym but don't work out
-Shower
-Talk to a random person

Six months on and I have achieved a hell of a lot. I still write out my days on a whiteboard, but now they are more like this:

-Get up
-Run
-Weights
-Class x prep
-Cook awesome food
-Play guitar
-Eat awesome food
-Go to University
-Go to Salsa lesson
-Go to work
-Hang out with friends

I get it all done everyday, I look and feel great! I no longer smoke, no longer play Wow, got into University, got a job, started dancing lessons and I haven't smoked for three months. I look and feel fantastic.

This approach of progressively changing my behavior helped me a lot, and it was a huge part of changing my general attitude. It might help you to give it a try, I hope you feel better soon, or if you don't feel better, that you feel good about feeling bad.

[fionamydear]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Billiardsguy,


* i think u need proper planning for ur future...
* talk 2 ur parents,friends,relatives about ur condition... and seek their advice.
* dont worry about things that grow older ,ie dont worry that u n ur parents r getting older n older, each n every living being on this earth will be getting older n older u r not alone , take that bug out of ur brain...
*try 2 get 1 job ,which will place u out of that guilt that u r dependent on ur parents....
*when u r @ home u can involve urself in some good hobby ,go out for a walk do yoga meditation etc.....
*every thing is difficult untill u start 1s u start u feel every thing is easy ...
*u have posted ur current situation this is ur present , what u want to be in the future thats ur future situation, just close ur eyes think about ur present situation and visualise that u work 2 improve many aspects of ur life, gradually weeks passes , months passes atlast u r in your desired +ve sitaution u ever wanted ...
*then u will come back n post that u r in +ve situation all ur -ve thinkings ,
-ve moods gone , & u r now a fresh man , and u will post only sujjestions for others problem [how is the idea ,so cheer up]

[fionamydear]

wait...

after +ve visualisation u have to work
after that u can come back n post

[SchoolisHard]

You need professional, face-to-face help. The internet may seem to have all the answers, but, for somebody in your current condition, it is one of the worst methods of delivery.

[thinktank1985]

@idontwanttotellyoumyname....your method is really innovative....I think it might really work....

maybe i will try it out sometime..if i get too depressed in future....

[magi13]

Originally Posted by Idontwanttotellyoumyname

Hey Billiardsguy,

I usually don't post in this forum, in fact I registered just to answer your question. I was in a very similar position to you six months ago, minus the bachelor's degree and the girlfriend!

At that time I would sleep a lot, play World of Warcraft for 8-16hours and smoke two packs of cigarettes everyday. I was so depressed, but something in me wanted to change it. I wrote a list of goals I wanted to achieve, and bought a whiteboard where I could write my schedule for the next day to further my ultimate goals. This method didn't work at all, because I was too lazy to fulfill my schedule which consisted of activities like 3pm - Gym, 4pm, language study.

I felt disappointed with myself for my behavior and my inability to succeed I got even more depressed and worthless. I then had the idea that if I couldn't meet my schedule, I would change my schedule. My goals for the first day was approximately thus

-Sleep in and miss class
-Play World of Warcraft until eyes really hurt
-Smoke two packs of cigarettes
-Don't have a shower

After about a week or so I felt really good I had met all my daily goals, and started to change them to be more challenging, and more in-line with my ultimate goals. Day 14 was a bit like:

-Arrive at class on time but unshowered and smelling bad.
-Play World of Warcraft
-Smoke a pack of cigarettes
-Go to the gym but don't work out
-Shower
-Talk to a random person

Six months on and I have achieved a hell of a lot. I still write out my days on a whiteboard, but now they are more like this:

-Get up
-Run
-Weights
-Class x prep
-Cook awesome food
-Play guitar
-Eat awesome food
-Go to University
-Go to Salsa lesson
-Go to work
-Hang out with friends

I get it all done everyday, I look and feel great! I no longer smoke, no longer play Wow, got into University, got a job, started dancing lessons and I haven't smoked for three months. I look and feel fantastic.

This approach of progressively changing my behavior helped me a lot, and it was a huge part of changing my general attitude. It might help you to give it a try, I hope you feel better soon, or if you don't feel better, that you feel good about feeling bad.

Baby steps. ^^ Nice post. :3 It's very practical and interesting.

I'll commit this into memory. It's worth remembering.

---

On another note, feeling good about doing bad is a really interesting approach. How did you slowly make the change to move forward?

[Idontwanttotellyoumyname]

Thinktank, I hope you don't need to

magi13, glad you found my approach interesting.

I think I actually made the decision to move forward many years ago, but was so down on myself all the time I didn't have the motivation or confidence to take action, or even know what action to take, only that I was unhappy and unfulfilled.

I think that when I started my daily goals using my beginning method was a significant point for me, in that it helped me build momentum. The goals were arbitrary, just to be going somewhere was enough. I can still remember how I felt while I was depressed for a long time, my momentum had long run out from my own perceived failures and negative self talk and abuse, I was inert. With no momentum everything was unachievable, because every 'destination' was effectively infinitely far away. That tiniest push was so important.

Nowadays I go fast.

Any updates for us billiardsguy? What's happening?

[rajiv159]

wow so you can use ur sleeping ur time.

hear is the task,

when you are on bed imagine your self jogging, running .
and also smiling at people. and people smiling at you.
and also your shinig white teeth.

just imagine it again and agian. all the good thing you want in ur life you can imagine it while you are sleeping.

can you do it.?

[rajiv159]

one more thing that the law of averagess says the more you read book the more there is chances that you will find some book interesting that will change you life into positive.

Originally Posted by Billiardsguy2006

I feel like my life is messed up...I'm on light meds. Although I hold a Bachelors Degree(which I was barley able to obtain) I currently can't find a job(neither do I want one),have no motivation, have no interests, want to sleep all day, feel life is hopeless-every day I'm approaching closer to death and I watch with disgust everyone around me getting older. I can't even motivate myself to brush my teeth or take a shower or brush my hair(unless I go out)My attitude is negative. I'm riddle with obsessions. I am sometimes mean and cruel and can be aggressive. Sometimes I feel like breakin ga wall. I feel overdependent on my parents, my gf, everyone...I've read a lot on self-improvement but havne't noticed not ONE improvement-except for temporary improvements.

Can anyone help me get out of this mess? I'm really depserate...I don't know what to do. every time my life seems to improve i fall back....i'm starting CBT on monday but don't know if it will help...also, i'm diagnosed with ocd and tourettes syndrome(although my tourettes are non-existent).

[Jerry Grinkmeyer]

Supertom is right. You have been given a job to do and when you find out what it is and start doing it you will be joyous. Trust your instincts, take it one step at a time.

[elisabeth]

@idontwanttotellyoumyname...

Love your method, and congratulations on coming up with it and really working it consistently!

Good luck to you, Billiardsguy2006. There's a lot of good advice here and I hope some of it will help you get to where you want to go.

One thing I find helpful too. Ask myself, almost like a mantra: what DO I want. And keep thinking about it.

Even if it seems out of reach, think about it anyway, in a non-confrontive way. Like this:

Wouldn't it be great to..... I really enjoy thinking about having/doing.... etc.

The more you focus your thoughts on where you want to go/be, the more you're likely to go into that direction and eventually get there.

Of course the latter isn't really my own idea. It's all over the LOA literature. And it works!

[EXR]

Some people managed to keep themselves motivated at all times and there some who requires constant external help. I belong to the 2nd group, hence I am always seekng motivation from others.
While searching for motivation courses, I stumbled upon this website 200 Online Video Seminars of the World's Most Famous Speakers which has lots of archived seminar by speakers such as Robert Kiyosaki, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy and many more. Whenever i feel down i listen to one of them to keep myself motivated again. Hope it will be useful for you too

This website has lots of inspirational clips that can brighten your day =D
IJ - Inspiration Junction