How do you make a big choice?

[Lupe]

When there are so many possibilities?
Any tips?
journaling tips?

[magi13]

rank them according to importance. ^^, and choose what you feel is the most important.

[RT Wolf]

By learning to make small decisions effectively.

It'd help if you gave some indication of what the decision is about. Not all decisions are the same, even though we callt hem decisions. In general, figure out if they're reversable, if one side is more or more easily reversible than the other. Experience of either side can often give you better indication of what to do.

Is the decision between a whole bunch of open-ended options? Perhaps you could trial them? You may find some benefit from asking yourself, "if this decision was most optimally done, how would that look?" and you can describe your feelings, your visions, etc. You can also ask yourself why this decision is so complicated seeming. If you have a very clear value structure (Pavlina's articles on this), then you have a good rank ordering of values, then you can see how each option ranks on that. For example, if your top value is courage and one of the options requires a lot of courage, then maybe that's what you'll go for. Finally, give yourself a deadline for making a decision. Don't let it drag on too long, because then you'll miss out on the benefit the decision is supposed to provide completely. I guess, figure out if this is a decision where the most important thing is making the best/right choice, or whether it's best to make a decision (any decision).

Pavlina's written at least two articles on this. Go to Archives page and Ctrl-F "Decisions"

[Liveformx64]

There are no big decisions or small decisions. Their scale only exists in your perception filter.

The only thing that is permanent to your body is death. The rest is completely re-doable.

Now.... if you tell your self this is it, this is the only shot, I only get to make this choice once, and psych yourself out that you visualize the Fork in the road. Once you finally make a choice, you will subconsciously and immediately start closing your mind off to the possibilities of other choices you left back at the the intersection.

Change that visualization to a 4 lane highway and you can change lanes at any time you see fit.

Nothing is permanent. Anyone who tells you otherwise usually has an ulterior motive.

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

If you have a very clear value structure (Pavlina's articles on this), then you have a good rank ordering of values, then you can see how each option ranks on that. For example, if your top value is courage and one of the options requires a lot of courage, then maybe that's what you'll go for.

Except I think courage is more a means to an end than a value in itself. It's no use applying courage to various aspects of your life if all your decisions are wrong. In fact, courageously following through on completely wrong decisions is dangerous. On the other hand, courage is something that needs to be practiced, and our level of courage declines if we don't use it often. In that sense, it can be good to intentionally choose certain paths in life which require courage. However, on more important decisions I don't think it's a good indicator. It's better to do what's right, even if it requires zero courage.

[SimonaRich]

Always choose the one which feels best. Think about what option and assess how that option feels. Do the same with all the options and select which feels best. Feelings never let you down because they guide you through life.

It is a shame not many people really trust them. Feelings are the most accurate guidance tools that anyone has.

[dwixi]

Make sure you can see beauty in whatever you do.

[Ralph]

Tony Robbins' approach was the most insightful I came across.

First write down all the ABSOLUTE MUSTS and all the outcomes you want to achieve. Rank the outcomes in importance. It's important to state WHY you want it. It might turn out that you can get the WHY in some other way.

Find out the real purpose behind what you want. This way you will see much more options for a compromise. Find the best option for filling your true wants without violating any absolute must.




If it's a kind of choice like deciding your future path and you don't really have enough info to decide, there is a 100% fool-proof system: follow your heart. Take the path that inspires you and requires courage. The one aligned with truth, love and power. Let go of all the social conditioning. Remember that your goal isn't to avoid failure. You can fail, it's 100% all right. Your decision is supposed to ensure you live the highest quality life, on your fullest potential and for the benefit of entire world. Never 'play it safe', failure is much more fulfilling.



remember that there are ALWAYS at least 3 options. If you think there are two options, you don't have a choice - you have a dilemma. Find 3+ options before you even begin to decide between them.

Cheers
Ralph