What is wrong with me and 12 Step resentments?

[mtm105]

I am new to this forum.

I spent 10-12 years of my productive life in AA and ACOA. I did about 5-7 meetings per week for about 6-7 years then tapered off. I bought into the whole spiritual concept.

After 12 years I read Orange Papers Org which unequivocally trashes the program and its foundations. Much of it is true, some sensationalized IMO.

I am unable to walk away from the program because I have been going on other forums with an agenda as a virtual know-it-all and bashing the program, which I believed may have helped me, and also harmed. I believe I bought into snake oil wholeheartidly and wasted a deliberate amount of energy there.

It has consumed my time at work and free time at home.

I just find it entertaining having intellectual debates regarding AA's recovery guru Billy Wilson. Prior to the internet, many people really didn't bother to care to know anything about Wilson, or AA's history. I understand that he formulated something which many claim is a benefit. Yet statistically debateable. #'s as low as 1 in 20. My Dad, at the age of 50, found sobriety through rehab and AA, but quit AA successfully after 2 years.

I just think that if AA did not have such a strongarm in the recovery movement, other movements with greater percentages may have a chance to become more effective.

[magi13]

so basically what's your problem then? ^^ (i'm usually blunt)

[Liveformx64]

AA has helped many many people. There is no debating that.

is AA right for you? It doesn't sound like it.

It sounds to me like you just substituted one addiction for the next, and will be jumping from one buzz after another until you get to the core of whatever it is you need to get to the core of.

My one word of advice to you, is to go to work on your definitions.

What do you truly believe? your meaning or definition of life etc...

What do you truly care about? Family, Friends, Travel, Painting etc...