5 years of procrastinating..do i still have a chance ?

[jessr]

i have spent over 5 years..setting down goals on paper and never following thru with them. I have abilities and potential..but slowly over time, it is disappearing. I still live at home and as a result have become used to luxuries that I could never afford..meals I dont cook and even get lifts from family and friend so that I dont drive. I am getting married later this year and this is going to be my impetus for change. If I cant sort my life now..i never will. This is literally my last shot .

i like the sound of the 30 day trials..so i am going to start now until my overseas holiday with family in easter.

Goals

1. Career --> be cool under pressure. Finish all the guidelines and handbook and give an excellent presentation. Finish the backlog of paperwork from last year sitting on my desk

2. Creativity --> create two dances. Teach myself spanish. Make 10 earrings

3. Intellectual --> beat my brother at scrabble 3 games in a row. work on being clear and direct.

4. Health and Fitness --> daily exercise for 45 mins. weekend should have recreational activities for e.g. squash, golf, hikes, biking

5. Social --> meet up with friends every week .

6. Looks --> grooming routine: dress well

7. Skills --> drive every time i am in the car, cook daily, househould chores.

8. Organisation --> organise most of wedding details from wedding task list.


----
Become independent and clear, grounded and real
Stop using things that make me fuzzy and lost for e.g. fantasy books, tv, randomn internet, sugar in diet, junk food.

i am going to start from tonight, get a good night's sleep and post tommorow night. Any comments, encouragement, critiscism will be welcome. Thank you for your support.

[Aleksander Krstic]

I believe that it's never too late for improvement. No matter how beat down you feel.

[supertom]

your like me in 3 years time lols

[tintin]

waiting in the wings,so to speak,for nigh 14 years here honey

don worry about using 'external impetus' ' to getchya movin id say.forget bou the internal elaborately concocted parallel passive life inside your head.
easiest..and most riskiest way of welcoming progress..is to simply say YES to new experiences.
allowing and trusting life to shape you.
go for it!! an amazing life awaits!

[magi13]

you can improve anytime no matter when and where

[SimonaRich]

You can change your life anytime you want, but I doubt that you can change so many aspects in your life at once. Start with one change at a time, follow through all 30 days, let it settle down and then start another one.

Also, 45 mins of exercise per day might be a bit too much if you did not exercise before.

I wish you all the best in your trials!

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by jessr

If I cant sort my life now..i never will. This is literally my last shot .

This here is almost certainly a false belief. In life we basically get an infinite amount of shots. Your last shot will be at circa 5 minutes before you die. Even then you could have a life changing experience. You'd be surprised how much can happen in 5 minutes.

Originally Posted by jessr

Goals [...]

That's a lot of stuff. It could be a good idea to let someone keep you in check. If you don't want to share your goals with a real life person, you could simply update this thread whenever you make progress, or when you make mistakes. Also, make sure you set your mind to implement this stuff in the long run, not just the short run. Don't get too overambitious the first few days or weeks, or you'll end up like a rocket that doesn't quite break through the earth's atmosphere. You'll just end up landing with a crash. Like I said, set your mind for the long-term.

[Starman]

jessr:

I think what everyone else has said to you about goals is true.

I'll add this:

The place in the mind/brain that puts up resistance to becoming what we need to become to be happy and successful in life, doesn't respond to lists very well.

It has a very specific set of wants, and it's only interested in fulfilling them at the moment, and words on a list probably have nothing to do with it getting those things. It thinks in simple terms and doesn't speak English - it's a lot like a puppy. And for a lot of people, this puppy ends up ruling over everything else, including the logical thinking part of the brain, where thoughts like, "I can't go on like this anymore" abound, but still the puppy wins out when it comes to making day to day, on the spot decisions, and it gets its way too often.

So, how do you train a puppy? You condition it, little by little, into a new creature. You make small, simple changes at a time, making it sacrifice the things it likes, like wasting time on entertaining but pointless things, and then saying to it, "this is who we are now."

Sometimes people think that identity and self-concept is something sacred and unchangeable, that they have the right to be who they are now, that it’s unreasonable for someone to expect them to change their idea of themselves, of who and what they are. This idea is the puppy whining about having to give up what it wants; don’t listen to it.

Little by little, and one by one, throw away the parts of yourself that do not contribute value to your overall life, and add in things that do. Redefine yourself. The puppy will scream, whine, and whimper incessantly about this. Tell it to shut up, because it’s not in charge anymore. It will begin to listen to you, and get the idea that it can go along or be dragged along. It'll get the message after awhile.

You can't change on the outside and yet remain the same person on the inside. First, change who you are, and then everything else changes.

[bbdream8]

Originally Posted by jessr

i have spent over 5 years..setting down goals on paper and never following thru with them. I have abilities and potential..but slowly over time, it is disappearing. I still live at home and as a result have become used to luxuries that I could never afford..meals I dont cook and even get lifts from family and friend so that I dont drive. I am getting married later this year and this is going to be my impetus for change. If I cant sort my life now..i never will. This is literally my last shot .

i like the sound of the 30 day trials..so i am going to start now until my overseas holiday with family in easter.

Goals

1. Career --> be cool under pressure. Finish all the guidelines and handbook and give an excellent presentation. Finish the backlog of paperwork from last year sitting on my desk

2. Creativity --> create two dances. Teach myself spanish. Make 10 earrings

3. Intellectual --> beat my brother at scrabble 3 games in a row. work on being clear and direct.

4. Health and Fitness --> daily exercise for 45 mins. weekend should have recreational activities for e.g. squash, golf, hikes, biking

5. Social --> meet up with friends every week .

6. Looks --> grooming routine: dress well

7. Skills --> drive every time i am in the car, cook daily, househould chores.

8. Organisation --> organise most of wedding details from wedding task list.


----
Become independent and clear, grounded and real
Stop using things that make me fuzzy and lost for e.g. fantasy books, tv, randomn internet, sugar in diet, junk food.

i am going to start from tonight, get a good night's sleep and post tommorow night. Any comments, encouragement, critiscism will be welcome. Thank you for your support.

Hi Jessr,

It is never too late for change and you had set some great goals for yourself. Just keep following through and you will be fine.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

[Parthon]

I've been procrastinating for about 27 years, I think since I learnt to walk, but I still don't think it's too late for me.

Have you looked at why you failed the goals? Perhaps they were beyond your capabilities to stick to, and after you slipped once, you threw them in the bin? You need to be honest about where you are at, and about what you can follow through on. If you don't know that, then you'll just keep doing the same mistakes. I love your new list of goals, but isn't it just like the old lists that you failed to follow through on? What's different.

Big audacious goals are great, but you shouldn't use them to measure yourself up against. Having an achievement that could take many years to reach is great, it gives you a direction to aim, but you need to plan the next step. It's great to see the horizon, but if you don't know where you are heading today, you'll get lost on the way to the goal

Instead of putting everything on one plate and suffering again when you fail to follow through, just take a small piece now and complete that. Some that's challenging, but not too hard. Perhaps just daily exercise for at least 15 minutes a day.

Growth is important, but you can only go as fast as you can. Any faster and you risk falling on your face and making a fool of yourself.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by jessr

I still live at home and as a result have become used to luxuries that I could never afford..meals I dont cook and even get lifts from family and friend so that I dont drive. I am getting married later this year and this is going to be my impetus for change.

I'm not usually critical, but you're getting married later this year, and you've yet to really do anything on your own yet? I sincerely hope that does drive you to get out there and live a bit first.

[Lauxa]

Hi Jessr, it's never too late, but I believe the most effective way to change is to work on your internal dialog. If you keep telling yourself that you're too tired and lazy and depressed to succeed then it's not gonna happen. If you can change that voice to affirm that you are happy and productive and dynamic and successful then you will see amazing changes, even without goals.

I agree with others that this list is probably too aggressive for now. If you give yourself this huge list of goals and then fail, you will be reinforcing your self-concept of failure but if you pick one small goal and succeed you will be moving into a new self-concept of success.

[jessr]

thank you everyone for your input. i guess the overall clear msg =) is to start small and somehow i think that is definitely the best way to go..

i am slowly starting to feel that this time around some positive change can be made..i am expecting it to be a slow and steady work.. loll.. i have heard it can take a lifetime :P.

so far..

had a tough situation at work today.. and i think i managed it much better than i would have in the past..by keeping cool, doing my best and not thinking about it once i got home. work has got to stay at work if i am to have any chance at achieving things at home.

worked a little bit on my presentation..HOWEVER, i did do this while watching tv..which was probably not the best thing.

did some jogging for about 15 mins ( i know it is not much..but i am trying to get the consistency going.. i am fit enough to jog for an hour..but i wont be much good for anything else the next day, let alone work the whole day)...the day before i did weights n abs for about 30 mins. and the day before that, i went for a 2 hour hike in the nearby parklands.

i made a special effort to look sharp at work today and i think that it gave me the confidence to deal with that stressful situation .. i know it is strange, but does anyone else have the same experience ?

i also made a special effort to get in touch with friends..emailing a friend i know has had a tough time and just letting her know that i am available.

couple of issues that came up.. and would love some advice.

a) after i come back straight from work.. i am often hungry..end up having dinner and this stops me from exercising straight after work. if i leave the exercising till about 9-10 pm, then i am too stiff and sore from the whole day to really make an effort..what are some good strategies ?

b) i am a vegetarian.. how i do cut down carbs in my diet ??

c) how i do i stop being so dependent on other ppl at work ? i find that when stressful situations come up, i love to run to other ppl and be the annoying lil person in the office ..asking how to do things.. often they dont know any more than me..but i feel reassured when someone else enters the equation..somehow as if that is taking responsibility away from my shoulders..reducing my stress ? has anyone else successfuly overcome this?

d) loll.. i need to stay away from that damn TV . it is just so easy to fall into the pattern of watching it..especially when there is some 'educational' feature on .

e) does anyone else find this ? the more 'efficient' and 'goal-achieving' person i become.. i become hard..and less soft/romantic towards my partner ..is this normal ? its like i get so business-like and i cant combine the two..i am particularly interested in hearing opinions from women. is it possible to be feminine, loving and high-achieving ???

plans for the rest of the week are to
a) exercise daily (even for short periods of time..consistency is key)
b) type up my presentation and finish 1 set of paperwork that is due by the end of feb
c) cook three times this week
d) drive whenever i am in the car this week.
e) finalise my wedding invite and the wedding cake.

loll.. i will write in a bit more detail a bit later on in the week.

in the meantime.. does anyone have an incredible success story they would like to share ? can be their own..or someone they own.. i.e from a total depressed, lazy slob :P :P to a true success who continually self-improves and more importantly, enjoys life ! I would love to hear something inspiring.

love n looking forward to hearing from all of you
jess

[Lauxa]

a) lots of possibilities... you could do your cardio in the morning... or schedule a snack mid-afternoon at work so you're not so hungry... or just enjoy getting good and tired before going to bed. I usually find that only the first few workouts leave me sore when I am just getting back into it, so just take the first few light and easy and give your muscles a chance to remember what it is like to work.

b) beans, eggs, cheese... try to stay away especially from the grains and don't worry too much about fresh fruit and orange vegetables...

c) try doing some prep work before you go to someone else's office so you have a list of options and pros and cons... writing it up beforehand you may discover the solution yourself before having to bother another person and you will be more prepared to discuss briefly just getting their input as to whether you missed anything

d) I like watching TV too... maybe you can get a hobby or project that is good to combine with TV so you have something to show for the time you spend watching it. I make chain mail, my MIL quilts and embroiders, some people knit...

e) don't know about this... I feel like the happier I am the better partner I am... maybe focus more on happiness than productivity? I also try to use affirmations whenever I am feeling harried such as "I am gentle, I am patient... " etc.

I wouldn't call myself an "amazing success story" but life has definitely been getting better for me and I finally feel like I'm improving... and enjoying life a bit more

[jessr]

the problem with goals to be something .. is the unsaid notion behind them.
i want to be this..and i want to be that..

i want to announce to the world and myself more importantly..that i AM.

i am cool.. i am strong.. i am reslient ..i am efficient.. i am creative...i am a dancer.. smoothly moving..sensously taking over the dance floor.. i am a fast learner..with an aptitude for languages.. i am interested in the world.. i have a fantastic memory..people are interested by me and in me.. i love reading .. i am verbal.. i am a good talker.. with an unmatched ability to express myself and other people's ideas. i am good at making earrings..amazing the people around me with my talent. i have a sexy body..with a huge amount of willpower driving my slight frame. i love the outdoors...with its sense of space and adventure.

people like to be with me.. i have lived in 3 or 4 different countries creating a deep understanding of people around the world and i am only as young as i am. when i cook, the meals are beautiful.. i am a thorough cleaner. i am getting married to my teenage sweetheart later in the year..with the whole support of our families.

i am funny..sharp..witty.. making an impression on the people around me. i have a great job..i love going to work everyday.. i help people everyday and am part of a team that is growing to rely on me daily. i am independent.. and can take ANYTHING..and i mean anything that the world chooses to throw at me. I am unshakeable.. defiant.. and can be your best friend or your worst nightmare.

I am me. and there is nothing i rather be.

=)

[Andrew Brunelle]

I would say that it's never too late until you're buried in a box. You can always pursue your dreams, unless you want to be a marathon runner at 95. Just start slow and go from there. Taking action is important. Sitting around doing nothing is counterproductive.

[Parthon]

Andrew: "Guinness World Records lists the oldest man to complete a marathon as the Greek runner Dimitrion Yordanidis, aged 98, in Athens in 1976. He finished in seven hours 33 minutes."

I guess 95 isn't too old after all.