Three day trial: be more reserved

[pyrogen]

I am too much of an open book. In any space, I tend to end up doing all the talking, and end up overwhelming people and even getting pulled aside in groups. And of course I also get frustrated that people don't ask me questions about myself. and I'm always accused of taking over conversations.

I want to try being quieter and holding myself back more so that two way relationships can form rather than me filling in all the spaces.

I don't need to respond to EVERY post on a board, blog EVERYTHING, or tell someone EVERYTHING.

I also will try to limit my responses to people to the number of words they actually used, or less, rather than give two pages of reply to every sentence they use.

This is hard! That's why three days to start.

[simonsta]

Your outspokenness might be a strength, have you considered that? If so, why lose it?

More to the point, if that's your default behavior, and it IS a strength, then I say f**k holding back!

Be true to yourself!

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by simonsta

Your outspokenness might be a strength, have you considered that? If so, why lose it?

More to the point, if that's your default behavior, and it IS a strength, then I say f**k holding back!

Be true to yourself!

It doesn't serve me everywhere. In THIS place, I feel very comfortable with just saying whatever I want to say. People take it or leave it, but I haven't ended up with any drama or people pulling me aside or anything like that.

The trouble is, I'm not really able to modulate myself, I'm up at volume 10 EVERYWHERE. It's a major struggle. Every time someone says something to me, I have five more things to say in response.

I take up most of the conversational space in my intimate relationships, too. I really struggle with having brevity and with listening in my conversations. This is an example - I am responding to you with a MUCH longer winded response than your inquiry.

Some cultural settings (female society rather than mixed-gender or all-male groups) too tend to want you to establish parity ("we're all in this together") and tend to see one person taking up a lot of space, as establishing separateness/dominance.

[JaredR]

Originally Posted by simonsta

Your outspokenness might be a strength, have you considered that? If so, why lose it?

More to the point, if that's your default behavior, and it IS a strength, then I say f**k holding back!

Be true to yourself!

Everything in moderation.